Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[Da Dude123]

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You heard it here first - lucas's dick is like heroin laced strawberries to zoomer baes. For someone who supposedly doesn't consider drugging and raping little girls he sure talks about drugging and raping little girls alot. Offering to get them drunk, leering at them with cameras while they're sleeping, talking about doing creepy shit to female roommates while they're sleeping, talking about jizzing in food he makes for female roommates, offering to use his medical card to buy little girls oxy and other prescription drugs....

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12 whole acres of the picturesque elken kingdom, ruled over by the benevolent king roy, who exiled the crown prince to the streets of spokane. Its not exactly a feudal fiefdom he's bragging about, or even a feudal manor. I mean shit I have a shit ton more land than that. I guess that means I can claim my position as lucas's feudal lord then. Not that lucas will be getting yeeted any of the fiance's ladies in waiting as a bride

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So... that sounds like a future its not in the cards style freakout from lucas if everybody starts calling him chunk. Also half pushups, fucking lol

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That one doesn't even need a comment

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The lack of self awareness in this is astounding. Lucas publicly admits his mother treats him like a literal 5 year old child throwing a tantrum in the car

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Lucas 'i'm totally not a criminal and don't advocate for anything illegal. Ever' Werner everybody

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I respect women but fuck that pig vice president! You need to start respecting women like me!

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Back when he had some semblance of hair, and yet somehow looks even more unhinged and psycho making expressions like this

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Well this is horrifying. He's clearly trying to the 'hot girl trying to be seductive and suggestive with her finger in her mouth' pose that he saw on the internet or in some porn and thinks it works for obese, unshowered psycho men. and holy shit that rat tail he has going on there is horrifying

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For a guy with a domestic violence charge who claims he's not violent and dangerous he sure likes to threaten the zoomer baes for not dating him. You heard it here first ladies - the wern is your final judgement for being slutty during the air virus. He will choke you with the truth until you love him

This is all old news. It doesn't seem like Lucas is moooing much these days. These memes were from the golden days. I think the tard wranglers have the fat cow hopped up on quite a bit of medicine.

Also, Lucas's mom is not doing great in Mexico it seems. He never talks about his parents wealth anymore. Those were my favorite moments. The fucking cow.

 

[Spunt]

View attachment 4481156
You heard it here first - lucas's dick is like heroin laced strawberries to zoomer baes. For someone who supposedly doesn't consider drugging and raping little girls he sure talks about drugging and raping little girls alot. Offering to get them drunk, leering at them with cameras while they're sleeping, talking about doing creepy shit to female roommates while they're sleeping, talking about jizzing in food he makes for female roommates, offering to use his medical card to buy little girls oxy and other prescription drugs....

View attachment 4481204
12 whole acres of the picturesque elken kingdom, ruled over by the benevolent king roy, who exiled the crown prince to the streets of spokane. Its not exactly a feudal fiefdom he's bragging about, or even a feudal manor. I mean shit I have a shit ton more land than that. I guess that means I can claim my position as lucas's feudal lord then. Not that lucas will be getting yeeted any of the fiance's ladies in waiting as a bride

View attachment 4481264
So... that sounds like a future its not in the cards style freakout from lucas if everybody starts calling him chunk. Also half pushups, fucking lol

View attachment 4481316
That one doesn't even need a comment

View attachment 4481348

The lack of self awareness in this is astounding. Lucas publicly admits his mother treats him like a literal 5 year old child throwing a tantrum in the car

View attachment 4481376

Lucas 'i'm totally not a criminal and don't advocate for anything illegal. Ever' Werner everybody

View attachment 4481404
I respect women but fuck that pig vice president! You need to start respecting women like me!

View attachment 4481484
Back when he had some semblance of hair, and yet somehow looks even more unhinged and psycho making expressions like this

View attachment 4481492

Well this is horrifying. He's clearly trying to the 'hot girl trying to be seductive and suggestive with her finger in her mouth' pose that he saw on the internet or in some porn and thinks it works for obese, unshowered psycho men. and holy shit that rat tail he has going on there is horrifying

View attachment 4481540

For a guy with a domestic violence charge who claims he's not violent and dangerous he sure likes to threaten the zoomer baes for not dating him. You heard it here first ladies - the wern is your final judgement for being slutty during the air virus. He will choke you with the truth until you love him

That last one looks like an incelcore festival lineup poster. Desperationfest '23.

 

[AnOminous]

Back when he had some semblance of hair, and yet somehow looks even more unhinged and psycho making expressions like this

He'd probably be more datable as a corpse than the disgusting creep he is alive.

 

[WonderWino]

He'd probably be more datable as a corpse than the disgusting creep he is alive.

and if not datable at least slightly more useful - he could be composted into fertilizer to grow the food he lusted after in life

Then again, he's probably demand said fertilizer be turned into a fertilizer bomb and used to blow up some christian apartment building full of greybeards and their fecund zoomer bae brides

 

[wenttobermuda]

Heroin laced strawberries? I hate it. And not because Lucas was talking about his comically small penis. Down the hatch isn't the way to enjoy heroin. It's got negligible oral bio availability, which is why you snort, smoke, or shoot it (in order of awesomeness). You can't snort, smoke or shoot strawberries. Waste of heroin, adds nothing to the strawberries. Maybe a better description than he knew.

 

[ManfromtheMoon]

Anyone asked Lucas who's his valentines this year?

 

[WonderWino]

Heroin laced strawberries? I hate it. And not because Lucas was talking about his comically small penis. Down the hatch isn't the way to enjoy heroin. It's got negligible oral bio availability, which is why you snort, smoke, or shoot it (in order of awesomeness). You can't snort, smoke or shoot strawberries. Waste of heroin, adds nothing to the strawberries. Maybe a better description than he knew.

If you processed it into jam you could probably snort it. Lucas being lucas I wouldn't be all that surprised to see him make some toasterbortion tier strawberry jam that included seeds, whipped cream, copious amounts of sugar and powdered coffee or a spoonful of energy drink and then snorting that to try to give himself a manic high, only to nearly kill himself in the process....or making him go into a psychotic rage and throw glasses at people while screeching incoherently until he gets taken away for another stint at eastern state

 

[Vi0l3t]

Mmm chunky dog food.


This made me queasy as fuck. Care to taste werns snack?


This will definitely attract the 18 year olds.

 

[AnOminous]

Mmm chunky dog food.

Corned beef hash out of a can looks like dog food at its best, but it's still surprising he didn't manage to make it look even worse. Even restaurant made corned beef hash does not look particularly appetizing even though it is delicious.

 

[Vi0l3t]

Corned beef hash out of a can looks like dog food at its best, but it's still surprising he didn't manage to make it look even worse. Even restaurant made corned beef hash does not look particularly appetizing even though it is delicious.

Very true atleast its ketchup on top (maybe) and not cheesy sriracha mayo soy sauce.

 

[WonderWino]

Mmm chunky dog food.
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This made me queasy as fuck. Care to taste werns snack?
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This will definitely attract the 18 year olds.
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So, salt, fat and protein loaded dollar store tier corned beef hash: he definitely shouldn't be eating it with his morbid obesity, beetus and kidney issues

No idea why he'd combine 'sugar free' rockstars with chips and baby clams of all things, sounds like another dollar store purchase. None of which he should be eating

Garlic rye chips and a can of smoked oysters, Imagine what he must smell like after eating those. Zoomer baes would run for the hills the moment he opens his mouth

and of course, more talk about him shitting and farting, which he clearly doesn't realize isn't really an appropriate thing to go around telling people about publicly. He gets fucked with and as usual doesn't recognize the obvious sarcasm and fact he's obviously being fucked with

He's eating worse than a literal hobo and mixing foods in ways even little kids wouldn't. Whats next? Breading a cheap pork chop in chopped up triscuits and the oil from the canned oysters? Trying to deep fry canned sardines to make hobo fish and chips? and fucking lol at getting a sugar free rockstar and showing it off like that somehow makes it healthier or something he should be drinking

and between the canned seafood, corned beef hash and energy drink its no wonder he's shitting so much. He's lucky he hasn't shit himself because of it. Not that he would probably care, or notice

Very true atleast its ketchup on top (maybe) and not cheesy sriracha mayo soy sauce.

More like at least its ketchup and not the oil from the canned seafood poured all over it. or that and cheesy siracha mayo

EDIT:

Lucas is going to be pissed in march:

"Hunger cliff" looms as 32 states are set to cut food-stamp benefits

Typical food-aid benefit will decline by $82 per person in March, with some recipients getting as little as $23 a month.

www.cbsnews.com

 

[AnOminous]

Breading a cheap pork chop in chopped up triscuits and the oil from the canned oysters? Trying to deep fry canned sardines to make hobo fish and chips?

Those would both be actually better ideas than anything Lucas has done recently.

In fact, I found a recipe for it that has good reviews (minus the oil from the canned oysters):

https://www.100daysofrealfood.com/crispy-pork-cracker-crust-recipe/

Snoop Dogg also has a recipe for potato chip crusted fried chicken that is really popular:

https://food52.com/recipes/78357-snoop-dogg-s-potato-chip-fried-chicken-wings

You usually want a neutral frying oil but maybe even that would work.

Martha Stewart of all people has a recipe for fried sardines:

https://www.marthastewart.com/1153332/pan-fried-sardines

If you can fry them you can probably deep fry them.

Face it, you just don't have the broken brain it takes to come up with Lucas's schizoid concoctions.

 

[MCLOS Horthy]

Canned corned beef hash can be quite good if you prepare it nicely, and pair it with some tasty sides. It really benefits from an intense crisping in a cast iron pan (that Wern doesn't have) and a side of freshly-shredded hash brown potatoes (that he is too incompetent to make).

Add a nice cup of freshly-ground medium roast coffee, and you got a nice fatty breakfast, my man.

Wern will never experience this delightful breakfast, because he is a smelly bum that is afraid to go outside, and is too dumb to create it himself. More for the rest of us.

 

[AnOminous]

Canned corned beef hash can be quite good if you prepare it nicely, and pair it with some tasty sides. It really benefits from an intense crisping in a cast iron pan (that Wern doesn't have) and a side of freshly-shredded hash brown potatoes (that he is too incompetent to make).

I usually crisp the shit out of it, put a little well in the middle, crack an egg or two in there, then cover with hash and cook until desired doneness.

 

[HackerX]

I've long held the belief that Lucas's worldview is extremely porncentric. He's convinced himself that the average 18 year old girl gets gangbanged on the regular and that every social interaction between the sexes ends with a sexual encounter. He doesn't understand most of what happens in normal human interactions and he's colored in the blanks with what he's seen in porn (which would make him terrifying if he wasn't about to lose of foot or two).

Yeah, but his sex drive is non-existent for the foreseeable future. Meds, age, and eating like shit will do that. It's ridiculously easy to get a testosterone prescription (as a man, but I guess it's true for trannies now too). I wonder what his levels are at when they do his blood work. Probably sub-100.

 

[MCLOS Horthy]

I usually crisp the shit out of it, put a little well in the middle, crack an egg or two in there, then cover with hash and cook until desired doneness.

I like to crisp my corned beef, then set it aside on the warmer while I work on the potato hash. It really needs separate attention to get crispy enough., e: and it really takes a lot of real estate in the pan if you make it as basically a huge pancake of shredded potato, as I like to do.

 

[Twrx]

I usually crisp the shit out of it, put a little well in the middle, crack an egg or two in there, then cover with hash and cook until desired doneness.

Corn beef hash is best served after being cooked over a camp fire with some spam. It's amazing he's still upright with his diet.

 

[Trainwreck]

Happy Valentine's Day ALONE AGAIN you fat faggot!

 

[Al from Dadeville]

What was the running 'Farms theory about certain mental disorders and inability to taste trace amounts of flavors, so they overload with spices and seasonings?

"Dysgeusia" is a disorder of the sense of taste associated with schizophrenia, if I remember correctly it might be a side-effect of the meds. He definitely likes to make food when he's on his meds. Sorry if someone answered this already.

Happy Valentine's Day ALONE AGAIN you fat faggot!

Stop hoarding all the gen Z honeys BIGGIT

 

[WonderWino]

Happy Valentine's Day ALONE AGAIN you fat faggot!

Lucas's theme song for the day:

No doubt he's spending the day alternating between crying and raging to himself about how unjust it is that he's sitting in his apartment without a zoomer bae on valentines day while all the greybeards and flatbills are spending the day letting their hoarded women loose so they can show their 5 girlfriends off to everyone and pick up 2 or 3 more while they're at it

They get all the pussy today but lucas is stuck at home eating fried chicken wishing he was eating fried chicken when he can afford nothing but shitty leftover hashbrowns and toasterbortions. He is likely half crying while stuffing his face bill dauterive style right about now. I expect some kind of angry jealous post at some point during the day talking about how unfair it is and to send him some food to take his mind off it. Thats very much his style