Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks


At 13:55 Lucas won't carry around a binder listing his telomeric attributes, (long in sperm cuz perfect daddy, short in hippocampus cuz retreaded) because that won't convince anyone to date him...

....that would just make him look weird.

(Q-berts sides have officially left the building)

He isn't a fucking beetle.
 
Wow, I was doing the dollar sign thing because he has complained about it in the past. I had no idea it would make me look so stupid he had to make a video about it and mention it in several others. If anyone wants to know how to annoy Lucas, there you go. We know he's not worried about dislikes because he keeps making videos about how he totally doesn't care.
 

Lucas "cleaned his room". He kicked all the floor trash into the corners.

The grease spot of Fail behind his pillow remains as large and dirty as ever.

Well done, Mucous!

Note: Instead of cleaning his apartment, Lucas makes videos bragging about how he's cleaned his apartment.

He brags about: Showering. Cleaning room. Buying booze.

I'd say he's mentally the age of a teen, but most teens are less impressed by showering; they've learned to take it for granted.

Lucas wants praise for wiping his butt.

Lucas? You still stink. Take a day off the interwebs and scrub your body and room with bleach.
 
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Lucas "cleaned his room". He kicked all the floor trash into the corners.

The grease spot of Fail behind his pillow remains as large and dirty as ever.

Well done, Mucous!

Note: Instead of cleaning his apartment, Lucas makes videos bragging about how he's cleaned his apartment.

He brags about: Showering. Cleaning room. Buying booze.

I'd say he's mentally the age of a teen, but most teens are less impressed by showering; they've learned to take it for granted.

Lucas wants praise for wiping his butt.

Lucas? You still stink. Take a day off the interwebs and scrub your body and room with bleach.
And what didn't fit in the corners he likely shoved under the bed.

Lucas, you were placed at Pioneer Pathway, because that's exactly where you belong. In a small room fit for you.
 
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Lucas doesn't drive because he's not into environment destroying bullshit.

Sure Lucas that's it. You being flaming schizo, dysfunctional and inept got nothing to do with it, right? You don't drive because you don't qualify for a drivers license and insurance. That's the truth of the matter Lucas. You wouldn't be able to get a drivers license.
You sure didn't complain and enjoyed it when the 30 yr old woman platonic friend you had at one time was driving you to places.

 
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Lucas finally acknowledged his PayPal being taken down through a series of tweets with a troll. This was in reply to a tweet he deleted that promoted his gambling scheme that got his PayPal revoked in the first place.
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Lol @ the #Bernie2020 as if that has anything to do with Lucas's PayPal being taken down. He is so simple.

Lucas finally acknowledged his PayPal being taken down through a series of tweets with a troll. This was in reply to a tweet he deleted that promoted his gambling scheme that got his PayPal revoked in the first place.
 

Seriously!? What a dumbass. He either has schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder. Being older doesn't change this and automatically give you longer telomeres.
 

Lucas looking at more studies he doesn't understand. Im no scientist, but from what I gather there are advantages and disadvantages to telomere length. Telomerase is not "magical perfect father juice" the way Lucas seems to think it is.

Lucas continues to name drop one of the scientists, Dan Eisenberg, as if Dan would support lucas's pedophilic telomerase-pursuit of children.

I don't think he would.

Here is Mr. Eisenbergs publically available e-mail, perhaps someone who understands the studies more than me can alert him to what Lucas is attaching his name to:

dtae@uw.edu
 

Lucas looking at more studies he doesn't understand. Im no scientist, but from what I gather there are advantages and disadvantages to telomere length. Telomerase is not "magical perfect father juice" the way Lucas seems to think it is.

Lucas continues to name drop one of the scientists, Dan Eisenberg, as if Dan would support lucas's pedophilic telomerase-pursuit of children.

I don't think he would.

Here is Mr. Eisenbergs publically available e-mail, perhaps someone who understands the studies more than me can alert him to what Lucas is attaching his name to:

dtae@uw.edu
Does anybody know how this telomere fixation started? It seems a weird obsession to have.
 
So jealous of the Wern. Right. Lucas, I'm Gen X, have a wife, kids, career, and live in a house. I wish my wife were into lolcow shit so I could send you video proof of her sucking my telomeres and saying "Yes, Daddy PB, I'd like some more!"
 
A theory I’ve heard is that he was googling his own name and stumbled upon Werner Syndrome, sending him down a rabbit hole that’s forever changed his path in life:
View attachment 1001824
If that’s not true your guess is as good as mine.
That's a perfect cosmic irony that "Werner syndrome" involves premature aging, when Lucas's whole shtick is that his gradual aging (like cheese and wine, dontchaknow, which, since you eat, means you have to diddle Lucas's skittle!) renders him uniquely perfect.

Does anyone remember what he wrote on one of those lovenotes, perhaps the Starbucks one? He said men his age "automatically become perfect fathers". He really believes that.

Lucas also has repeated multiple times that nobody, not even the scientists who create his beloved telomere research, have ever read through a complete study.

He gets very heated about this, arguing as if with the air (as he does) to tell his haters that if they claim to have read studies in their entirety, they're lying. No one could read that much.

Once again, note that Lucas's own limited abilities (in this case, his clear difficulty with both reading comprehension and his oft-stated dislike of reading, at all) have formed his entire metric for average behavior.

He does this quite often. Anything he doesn't do, or is unwilling to do, is impossible, and if people claim to have done things Lucas can't or won't they're liars with no proof.

Girlfriends and wives, for example: because he has never had a serious relationship, Lucas believes anyone who says they are in one is lying. The fact that this assertion contradicts his claims of seeing relationshipped couples everywhere doesn't seem to distress him.

If Lucas can't do it, it's impossible.
 
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