Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

I'd assume his phone was stolen or broken, but he was exceptionally screaming and throwing a hissy fit in his last Instagram videos. When he rages that hard, there's usually been a recent reason for it (and it's not because Lucas cares about the plight of black people).

I wouldn't be surprised to find out it went a little something like this....only replacing flappy bird with zoomer baes

 
In a weird way, the farms concerne about Lucas' whereabouts is probably the closest he's had to someone actually caring about him in a very long time. My money is on him smashing his phone in a tard rage, so I wouldn't be surprised if it's a while till we get new Lucas content

This. If Lucas got axed by the wrong pissed off hobo, or had an aneurysm while ranting at the sky, the dang dirty trolls are the only people in his life that would "miss" him, let alone even notice that he was missing.
 
Here, have this selection of his best music videos and one really angry rant that makes me laugh because of the scrunched up face he makes while he's almost unintelligible with his rage.

This is one of my favorite Wernology videos (the compilation).

Emmett Brown? The old crazy scientist from Back to the Future????

ETA: The part when he says/sings Red Robinnnn in a strained whisper always cracks me up.
 
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Update: Lucas is on the roster this morning so he came back home to roost. I wonder if he got a couple nights out for punishment for the filming?

Either that or he had a complete fucking tantrum and stormed off until he realized he couldn't get in anywhere else and wouldn't be able to afford a hotel for very long and came slinking back.
 
This. If Lucas got axed by the wrong pissed off hobo, or had an aneurysm while ranting at the sky, the dang dirty trolls are the only people in his life that would "miss" him, let alone even notice that he was missing.

Come on now, the HOC would notice when there was suddenly twice as much food to go around

klickitat said:
Either that or he had a complete fucking tantrum and stormed off until he realized he couldn't get in anywhere else and wouldn't be able to afford a hotel for very long and came slinking back.

In other words pulling a cartman and going 'screw you guys i'm going home!' only to realize he already was at home
 
Here, have this selection of his best music videos and one really angry rant that makes me laugh because of the scrunched up face he makes while he's almost unintelligible with his rage.

are we certain he isn’t a virgin? I mean,he doesn’t seem to understand that you can’t fuck a clit.

also the shoehorning in of those rhymes.... nice.

this is from the era inwhich he misinterpreted telomere research as saying there is too much in young men.
 
are we certain he isn’t a virgin? I mean,he doesn’t seem to understand that you can’t fuck a clit.

also the shoehorning in of those rhymes.... nice.

this is from the era inwhich he misinterpreted telomere research as saying there is too much in young men.
There’s plenty of men who have had enough sex to know better that still haven’t bothered to learn shit about female anatomy, to be fair.
 
There’s plenty of men who have had enough sex to know better that still haven’t bothered to learn shit about female anatomy, to be fair.
Seconded. Tonnes of men out there still somehow believe what they see in porn as fact: that women love to be violently jackhammered into a mattress and that orgasm only happens with penetration.

Lucas probably thinks the clitoris is inside the vagina or something equally idiotic. I mean he thinks a cabal of flatbills are corraling young women into secret clubs and house parties like livestock, in order to hoard breeding opportunities. You really need think he understands anatomy?
 
Seconded. Tonnes of men out there still somehow believe what they see in porn as fact: that women love to be violently jackhammered into a mattress and that orgasm only happens with penetration.

Lucas probably thinks the clitoris is inside the vagina or something equally idiotic. I mean he thinks a cabal of flatbills are corraling young women into secret clubs and house parties like livestock, in order to hoard breeding opportunities. You really need think he understands anatomy?

On that note lets not forget he once asked if gamer girls don't have balls where do they store their piss

I think that speaks for itself

Also, you just know he thinks flatbills round up zoomers like they round up humans in planet of the apes.....which definitely needs a photoshopped version with flatbill apes come to think of it
 
Seconded. Tonnes of men out there still somehow believe what they see in porn as fact: that women love to be violently jackhammered into a mattress and that orgasm only happens with penetration.

Lucas probably thinks the clitoris is inside the vagina or something equally idiotic. I mean he thinks a cabal of flatbills are corraling young women into secret clubs and house parties like livestock, in order to hoard breeding opportunities. You really need think he understands anatomy?

Lucas’s obsession with fisting likely comes from self consciousness about his micropenis, sadism and the positive reinforcement that porn provides.
 
On that note lets not forget he once asked if gamer girls don't have balls where do they store their piss

I think that speaks for itself

Also, you just know he thinks flatbills round up zoomers like they round up humans in planet of the apes.....which definitely needs a photoshopped version with flatbill apes come to think of it
He seems to view himself as an immortan Joe type character; albeit a stinkier and more grotesque individual but with the charisma of a block of wood.
 
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On that note lets not forget he once asked if gamer girls don't have balls where do they store their piss

I think that speaks for itself

Also, you just know he thinks flatbills round up zoomers like they round up humans in planet of the apes.....which definitely needs a photoshopped version with flatbill apes come to think of it

I was a wernologist pre-KF and I did not know this. I searched the farms but somehow there were too many entries for Lucas and piss/urine/pee to find it. Can you point a lady in the right direction?

I’m well aware that scores of men don’t understand female anatomy or sexuality, and I think Lucas himself has admitted he will first to make up for his TeenyWeenie.

but given that Lucas lies about having had relationships (most of his past relationships are not what any of us would call a relationship) I’m wondering about the possibility that he might actually be a virgin. Suzanne is the only real relationship he has ever had and she was in her 50s. Not saying old folks don’t fuck but whose to say that “relationship” wasn’t sexless.

Maybe it’s all transference on my part. I’d do anything to avoid a reality in which some poor girl had that thing in/on/over her.
 
Oh hey, looks like my area of expertise. This is a stupid meme Lucas made during the college saga. I'm still not sure what he's talking about fully but I wouldn't put anything past Lucas, especially when he's using terms like 10 dimensional omniverse. Our tax dollars at work on that community college education of his.
32463138_10213645882233678_5165756719669706752_n.jpg
 
Oh hey, looks like my area of expertise. This is a stupid meme Lucas made during the college saga. I'm still not sure what he's talking about fully but I wouldn't put anything past Lucas, especially when he's using terms like 10 dimensional omniverse. Our tax dollars at work on that community college education of his.
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I think the pee inside the balls thing was Lucas’s attempt at quirky humour. Trying and failing to depict a certain identity among his fellow college students. Let’s not forget that this was the Batman pantaloonies era.
 
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