Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[wenttobermuda]

Y'all remember during the LA saga when Lucas put on the stiff upper lip and said he loved it there and was doing great and might just decide to stay or come back?

Y'all want to see how badly he was panicking behind closed doors?

You're in luck!

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Edit for some bonus stuff: When he was being all coy about his new millionaire 19 year old girlfriend who flew him in to meet him at the Ritz Carlton:
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Bleak stuff. Concentrated panic and pain. In the midst of an existential, and practical, crisis, Lucas can't help but whimper "I need a woman in my arms." His admission that he hadn't showered in weeks is amusing, but the rest of it is fat faggot pathos. The image of a stinking, dehydrated Lucas wandering around a strange city on the verge of tears is powerful.

Damn this Catechism works surprisingly well with the bumcel. He is fanatically devoted to puss puss in an anti-social way. You wonder if you’d be able to have a beer and watch a game of football with a regular Catechist, don’t imagine it would be easy if they are always plotting the revolution. Power level, now that you mention this philosophy I think I saw some of these people in real life they thought they could egg on a group of protestors to storm the gates of the provincial legislature building and it failed miserably when the cop pushed into a lady’s shoulder hard with some grip technique. Crazy group of four or six people thinking they’d storm a government building, well it works when you have enough people I guess but if your whole life is based around this as your ultimate goal that makes you pretty damn miserable. Persistence is usually something to be admired but not when it is misguided and leads to non-stop repeated failure.

edit: thanks @wenttobermuda for this rabbit hole of Catechism it sounds pretty fun to dig into some more. I’d get a good laugh if Lucas stumbled into this as part of an identity to exploit.

It's a cozy rabbit hole, in my opinion.

Spoiler: spergery

I got my hands on the Catechism when I was an adolescent. At the time, it was my earnest ambition to destroy civilization to spite my parents and impress girls. I took this goal very seriously, as indicated by the anarchy symbol on my favorite t-shirt.

Bakunin is boring. Nechayev, however, is a fascinating character. If he didn't pioneer political terrorism, he certainly popularized it. The conspirators who killed Alexander II were working Nechayev's program. "Barracks communism" was coined to criticize him, and his name became synonymous with taking shit too far. Historians have identified him as a formative influence on both Stalin and Lenin. He was the inspiration for Verhovensky in Dostoevsky's Demons, which is essentially a retelling of how Nechayev murdered another revolutionary for the lulz.

His personality is far more interesting than his politics, which were crude. The man was a fanatic. Imagine a turbo sperg who didn't have anime or lolcows to fixate on, and settled on destroying the world. Nechayev was also a ruthless self-promoter with a keen appreciation for his legend. He would have been very well suited to this era.

 

[Da Dude123]

Y'all remember during the LA saga when Lucas put on the stiff upper lip and said he loved it there and was doing great and might just decide to stay or come back?

Y'all want to see how badly he was panicking behind closed doors?

You're in luck!

View attachment 2570040View attachment 2570041View attachment 2570042


Edit for some bonus stuff: When he was being all coy about his new millionaire 19 year old girlfriend who flew him in to meet him at the Ritz Carlton:
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That whole LA saga was so epic. It really showed how incapable Lucas is of taking care of himself. The dumb. fat, autistic, faggot really thought some rich Gen Z girl was going to take care of him. He thought this was a sure thing. It didn't matter that he was broke and filthy, having not showered in three weeks. He just thought; "mooooo, mooooo, this will be plenty good. I can't lose with this. Moooo!"

And then all he can think about while he is dire straits was "I need a woman in my arms". Not shit, I need food, a way to get back home. Oh, no. "I need a gen z kween!"

And I would not doubt if someone tried this on him again, he would fall for it again. He never learns his lessons.

 

[WhiskerBiscuit]

That whole LA saga was so epic. It really showed how incapable Lucas is of taking care of himself. The dumb. fat, autistic, faggot really thought some rich Gen Z girl was going to take care of him. He thought this was a sure thing. It didn't matter that he was broke and filthy, having not showered in three weeks. He just thought; "mooooo, mooooo, this will be plenty good. I can't lose with this. Moooo!"

And then all he can think about while he is dire straits was "I need a woman in my arms". Not shit, I need food, a way to get back home. Oh, no. "I need a gen z kween!"

And I would not doubt if someone tried this on him again, he would fall for it again. He never learns his lessons.

I think it does show how very incapable Lucas is, but I don’t know that he really was as emotionally terrified as he acted. He seemed to be very much trying to beg money/food off of anyone and threatening suicide was part of it. He is such an attention-seeking baby with all the “i should just kill myself because I don’t have anyone who loves me” stuff he will throw at any girl he thinks he is talking to. He’s the perpetual victim.

the fact that he refused to answer about his Payee and given other convos we saw at that time where he says he had the money but wanted to keep it for his apartment fund shows that he knows he has options and wants to hide any thing that makes his scam obvious.

 

[WonderWino]

The Baby Making Enzyme (Song)​

creepy loon

'Hey ovulator i'm your spermalator'

The fact he can say that with a straight face and not realize how creepy that makes him sound says everything anyone needs to know about his mental state and obsessions

 

[Dumpsterfire Enthusiast]

Slut shamers are always incels. Especially his shit about he'd go to a slut walk and try to fuck a slut. Does he not realize, that slut walks are targeted at people like him, he's why they slut walk.

Its kinda funny because you would think sluts would be the most likely people to want to fuck them since they apparently fuck literally anyone which is exactly what he's looking for but since he isnt involved then its suddenly a problem, but its totally his own choice why he isnt involved because covid and moral bullshit.

 

[Wernology]

That whole LA saga was so epic. It really showed how incapable Lucas is of taking care of himself. The dumb. fat, autistic, faggot really thought some rich Gen Z girl was going to take care of him. He thought this was a sure thing. It didn't matter that he was broke and filthy, having not showered in three weeks. He just thought; "mooooo, mooooo, this will be plenty good. I can't lose with this. Moooo!"

And then all he can think about while he is dire straits was "I need a woman in my arms". Not shit, I need food, a way to get back home. Oh, no. "I need a gen z kween!"

And I would not doubt if someone tried this on him again, he would fall for it again. He never learns his lessons.

If you ever wondered how Lucas reacts when someone goes the, "Hey, this is likely a catfish..." route, here you go. Please note the part where he says he CAN access his 'savings', so whoever paid for his bus ticket got grifted by the bum for that money.
This dumbfuck has absolutely no survival skills, it's amazing he didn't get killed in LA.

 

[Neko GF]

Spoiler: Gen X Man (1080p)

Spoiler: The Baby Making Enzyme (Song) (1080p)

 

[Zaz]

If you ever wondered how Lucas reacts when someone goes the, "Hey, this is likely a catfish..." route, here you go. Please note the part where he says he CAN access his 'savings', so whoever paid for his bus ticket got grifted by the bum for that money.
This dumbfuck has absolutely no survival skills, it's amazing he didn't get killed in LA.

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Why does this person care about Lucas? I was looking forward to him dying on Skid Row. They're giving him good advice and bailing him out...

Do they like scabby pedophiles who watch daddy daughter porn or what?

 

[mothman96]

Lets remember the biggest hint that the Freak was being catfished is his lap infant "Itsnotinthecards Werner". The Pedo was so blinded by all the millions he was going to have access to/all the money he was going to spend that baby Werner didn't register in his greedy brain.

 

[Fanatical Pragmatist]

It's Saturday night and people enjoying life. The Freak is on the outside and pissed he can't get in.

COVID isn't an STD, Lucas.

Oh, more "Christians slutting around".

The incestuous pedo Freak of Spokane wants to know what his hypothetical wife would do with his inheritance when his King Roy dies. Wants the hypothetical wife to email him.

Lucas, YOU might be gone in 20 years.

I would absolutely love for Lucas to go to Slutwalk and try to pick up a 'slut'

Too old for him.

Also I don't think Lucas knows that Slutwalk is this instance is being used as a neofeminist form of action to demonstrate that only they control their bodies, they can wear whatever, have sex with as many people as they want, etc.
Lucas in this case is using the term to refer to young people on a Saturday night enjoying themselves at bars and clubs. He's just mad that he sees young men and young women together and he can't have any part of the action. Even if they aren't hooking up (i.e. friend group), he just assumes they are hooking up because his tard brain assumes everything is about sex (or food).

Why oh why did some people have to bail Lucas out in LA? Let the lolcows moo.

 

[Wernology]

Since Lucas is back on his "citing studies where the study authors have told him he's wrong and to stop" let's revisit this email from Dan Eisenberg (with full headers, not that Lucas would know how to interpret those either) and, of course, this Twitter exchange:

 

[Da Dude123]

If you ever wondered how Lucas reacts when someone goes the, "Hey, this is likely a catfish..." route, here you go. Please note the part where he says he CAN access his 'savings', so whoever paid for his bus ticket got grifted by the bum for that money.
This dumbfuck has absolutely no survival skills, it's amazing he didn't get killed in LA.

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I am thinking he could access these if his payee released them somehow. A payee is not like a doctor and is not on call. Having worked in the criminal justice or social work field, sometimes I did not answer my phone and took my time returning phone calls. So, therefore, his payee would have to release them. Being the gatekeeper for things like that. Can you imagine if Lucas left a VM to his payee?

Lucas: "Payee, this is the Wern. Mooo, catfish, mooo L.A. Send me money now! Gen Z bae sent me here! Gotta get back to Spokane! Help, help! Mooo, mooo! Reeee!

Payee: Oh, no. What did that cow get himself into now? I need a new job. I will call him back tomorrow. Shudder."

Honestly, this may not be too far from the truth of how it went down. The payee may not have called him back or may have flat out refused to send him that money. Doing that job, you have to somewhat screen your communications and I bet often times you may not call some of these speds back.

I can't imagine having the job of a payee. Having all those exceptional individuals calling you all the time trying to get money. That would drive me to alcohol abuse.

 

[Stafford Beer Bong]

He's back to pretending he's a telomere rapper

....and claims harvard, cambridge and zurch universities don't lie

Seriously, this is low effort even for Lucas.

His videos always stink, but come on.... this is just no effort garbage.

You gotta try harder if you want to get the attention of your zoomer bae Lucas. I suggest deleting when you know the audio sucks and doing it again. (I know. That takes effort but you have nothing else to do all day.)

And maybe throw on a baseball cap. Chicks dig that.

 

[wenttobermuda]

I am a great admirer of Lucas's creative output. His recent faux freestyle is staggering. He's serenading an entire generation of young women and declaring his ardent passion for impregnating them with his telomerase. You just know he shuffles around Spokane all day composing shit like this in his head. The mating call of a defective bird. Won't attract an ovulator. Just us cats.

That said, I would love to see a Gen Z queen react in real-time to Lucas's song. I would love Lucas to see that more.

Lucas Colby Wener: Hey ovulator, I'm your sperm-er-ator

Lucas produced those words. He owns them now. Lucas, Spermerator.

Spoiler: The Baby Making Enzyme

Telomerase: baby making enzyme that improves with age
If you're a guy then you fly high, but if you're a woman then it decays
the proper time is 18-24, or you need to no more? it's 35 to 55 in a guy
but if you're a chick it's 18-24
and if you need to know more, it's 35 to 55 in a guy
see, breeding with a dude under 25(Lucas must mean 35) causes telomere attrition
that's degradation of the human (pronounced hu-mon) cell
I don't care what your bourgeoise world tries to sell
it's false and falsified its superficial lies
you really need to get behind my scientificlife
before you write out in your lies, I know that didn't rhyme I'm limp biscuit on time
I'm just rolling it, rolling it, rolling it as I
Go with it, go with it, go with it
scientific incrulity (incredulity?) I didn't even pronounce that correct
I guess I'm just a total wreck
I'm spitballing, free-falling, I'm going to the edge
The enzyme again is called telomerase, it improves a guys capabilities of the reproductive transfer cells
you know what I mean (x3)
An 18-24 and the ova machine
Hey ovulator, I'm your sperm-er-ator
Oh I see you're going to practice some form of ageist bigotry
But if I stand in the way with a scientific fact
Then I guess I'm just your kind of mac
I'm on the attack with my verbal onslaught
I see you out there like you think you ain't caught
But you're in the degradation called the idiocracy
I see fly honeys everywhere
I love generation z
because if were to combine generation x seed with generation z
hey babe stronger baby-making capabilities
the enzyme again is called telomerase
it improves the tactility of the cells of your future babies' dna
I love how they move I love how they groove
I love how they're on mommy with that need of a dance (incomprehensible) snacks
I love how they're with daddy like a heart attack
I need a gen z babe
I need to be with you because I want to make babies

Gen X Man is unlistenable in its present state. I hope Lucas records it again.

 

[Twrx]

He's fallen into the pick up artist bullshit.

Asking Interesting Questions

youtu.be

 

[Gas Station Boner Pills]

Dr. Niggæ Luke has renewed motivation for Tinder after a recent success with actually getting a reply back. He's now using a list of generic questions from the internet as a script. I love it. Nothing gets you past the introductory phase quicker than saying nothing of substance and keeping the conversation exclusively about her, right?

Jokes aside, good on him I guess. Credit where credit is due and all. I never thought he would actually realize "Hi how are you" isn't a magic incantation that gets women to fall madly in love with a complete stranger. Shame his busted brain will revert back to that as it always does with tactics that have never worked before. I hope he actually gets far enough into a conversation with someone for her to tell him what an aggressively creepy psychotic sasquatch he is. The chimpouts he has from dating failures just hit different.

 

[Cow-Lovin' Fool]

I see Dr. Niggae's new album just dropped today...can't wait to rock out to these new jams

Anyway I think it was a ween move on the part of whoever messaged that Eisenberg guy about Luke "using" his work. And it was beyond autistic of Eisenberg to take it seriously enough to take action against Lucas over it.

Does he seriously think some sped from Washington yelling stuff he doesn't understand on Youtube is really any danger to his own creds? Does he really think Luke's gonna plagiarize his paper to get a fraudulent PhD in Baby Zoom Genetics at the community college?

The biologist himself is at least a calf in his own right.

 

[Apteryx Owenii]

I see Dr. Niggae's new album just dropped today...can't wait to rock out to these new jams

Anyway I think it was a ween move on the part of whoever messaged that Eisenberg guy about Luke "using" his work. And it was beyond autistic of Eisenberg to take it seriously enough to take action against Lucas over it.

Does he seriously think some sped from Washington yelling stuff he doesn't understand on Youtube is really any danger to his own creds? Does he really think Luke's gonna plagiarize his paper to get a fraudulent PhD in Baby Zoom Genetics at the community college?

The biologist himself is a calf in his own right.

only thing I can imagine is that he
1) thought Lucas would be dumb\scared enough to be cowed by a toothless letter or
2) just wanted to put it 'on the record' that Lucas was full of shit so hopefully people would stop contact him telling him to do so

 

[Twrx]

What the ever loving fuck

 

[VoidFace]

Lucas searches for videos about himself, then watches and responds to them because he doesn’t care about them at all. So sayeth Sir Gimpy Tiny Cock of the Elk Kingdom.