Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

The fat POS Freak begging for food:
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From what we know, Lucas cannot drink alcohol or smoke weed while in Mallon, and of course the little sexual release he gets is probably late night tugs under the covers with an old sock, so I can see Wern‘s only real pleasure that is acceptable in his current situation would be gorging good food.

Even though he is more than well fed at Mallon with 3 squares and 2 snacks, its definitely not going to hit the proper pleasure centers he needs to feel good. He must have that high from knowing he is blowing large sums of money for good quality food and shoving it down his fat gullet.

We are looking at a pleasure addict spiraling, trying to find his fix, any fix, that can ring that dopamine bell. This is the equivalent of detox for him right now. It must be driving him even more insane not being able to fill that hole he has with Kinkerdagger or his favorite mexican place.

I hope no one gives him a dime for it either. Lucas needs this detox from his gluttonous life.
 
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Svetlana Helsinki said:
It’s almost tempting to send a large box of sugary candies to Mallon Place to get those feet gone. But, its even better to watch him self destruct in his desperation.
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The cynic in me wonders if someone just sent him a big bag of sugar instead that he'd just go find a corner to hide in and just eat handfuls of it until it was gone or he ended up having a beetus incident. He compulsively eats enough to do something like that. Its even funnier when you realize thats exactly the kind of behavior i'd expect to see from a dementia patient in a nursing home, so he ironically fits right in in that regard
 
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TurdFondler said:
Would he eat sugar on it's own? Nah. Sugar with sticks of butter for dipping? Definitely.
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I have no doubt in my mind that he would eat a entire bag of sugar, on its own. You have to understand that Lucas can't control himself, either his mouth, or his appetite. If you put food in front of him, he eats it until it's gone. Period. Despite being fully aware that this repeated binging is seriously affecting his health... And we're not talking about vanity here, we're talkin about having feet. I'm almost certain that the nurses who put the temporary casts on Lucas's feet made the connection obvious to him about his weight causing this symptom of type 2 diabetes... But as long as he's able to proffer the comfortable lie that he damaged his feet by walking so much when the mean world "forced him to be homeless", he'll ignore the medical advice. Lucas never runs out of these "lie blankets" to throw over the self-destructive reality of his life. As long as he can point the finger at someone else, or create some sort of heroic dynamic that takes away his responsibility for his desperate condition, he never changes.

Let's not forget: this is a man who has eaten uncooked ramen, has drank cold canned clam chowder, & has eaten other soup with a stick, has eaten cold congealed meat without utensils or refrigeration... A man who put barbecue sauce on lemon poppy seed muffins, and calls Reese's peanut butter cups floating in a glass of Pepsi a "Shirley Temple". More than the applicability of mixed foods together, or creating positive taste combinations, Lucas actually seems more focused on being able to increase the caloric content of any dish. It seems as if this is the most important factor in his eating. Is it possible for him to add to the calories by combining foods which clearly don't go together? If it is, he'll do it.

Anyone who can eat an entire jar of peanut butter in one sitting with their fingers, or an entire log of cookie dough without getting sick, could polish off a pound bag of sugar. Lucas never feels full, seemingly, as if he has prader-willi syndrome. Have you ever heard him complain that he ate too much, and consequently feels sick? I never have. There have been multiple days where he has eaten three large restaurant meals, in immediate succession, walking from one restaurant directly to the next, and consuming the largest offerings that they have. This is actually a feat; most people would be unable to do this without vomiting. But Lucas has done it many times.

A bag of sugar isn't even a big deal for Lucas. It's a Tuesday.

Don't get confused with his pose as a gourmet, knowing the names of trendy dishes like a charcuterie board, or eating at fancy restaurants; Lucas is a GOURMAND, not a gourmet. Even that's pushing it...he really is nothing but a glutton. He's not eating out of hunger, he's chasing a dopamine high that he gets from binging on enormous quantities of food.
 
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klickitat said:
It's shorter than his dick, but chat is on.

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On this note, its worth pointing out that the uncooked ramen he ate in that video wasn't even one of the ramen pack bricks. Its very clearly one he pulled out of a cup of soup container to eat raw, it even has the spice packet stuff on it thats added in many of the shit tier brands so they don't have to include a separate pack if you look closely enough

So he was so lazy and/or stupid that he couldn't literally pour boiling water in a cup of soup container or just fill it up with cold water and put it in the fucking microwave for a few minutes, so he just pulled the noodles out and ate them
 
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GleamingTheQ-Bert said:
I have no doubt in my mind that he would eat a entire bag of sugar, on its own. You have to understand that Lucas can't control himself, either his mouth, or his appetite. If you put food in front of him, he eats it until it's gone. Period.

Let's not forget: this is a man who has eaten uncooked ramen, has drank cold canned clam chowder, & has eaten other soup with a stick, has eaten cold congealed meat without utensils or refrigeration... A man who put barbecue sauce on lemon poppy seed muffins, and calls Reese's peanut butter cups floating in a glass of Pepsi a "Shirley Temple".

Anyone who can eat an entire jar of peanut butter in one sitting with their fingers, or an entire log of cookie dough without getting sick, could polish off a pound bag of sugar. Lucas never feels full, seemingly, as if he has prader-willi syndrome. Have you ever heard him complain that he ate too much, and consequently feels sick? I never have. There have been multiple days where he has eaten three large restaurant meals, in immediate succession, walking from one restaurant directly to the next, and consuming the largest offerings that they have. This is actually a feat; most people would be unable to do this without vomiting. But Lucas has done it many times.

A bag of sugar isn't even a big deal for Lucas. It's a Tuesday.

Don't get confused with his pose as a gourmet, knowing the names of trendy dishes like a charcuterie board, or eating at fancy restaurants; Lucas is a GOURMAND, not a gourmet. He's not eating out of hunger, he's chasing a dopamine high that he gets from binging on enormous quantities of food.
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Never forget
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At least he has the courtesy to half-hide his disgusting face, but how is it that his skin is getting so much worse when he has a roof over his head, and theoretically the ability to wash regularly, than it did when he was sleeping under a bridge?

Edit: Ninja'ed by @Fatal Walter

I wonder what Lucas's opinion on the utility of cars would be if all the people who worked at Mallon House stopped driving to work, and started having to walk.
 
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