Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[VoidFace]

2010-2012 mostly.

Also his FB posts from after they broke up.
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The conversations he imagined between he and Suzanne smack of that edgy 14 year old kid we all knew who was convinced he was a genius.

And I wish so badly Lucas could see the irony in he, of all people, using that Emerson quote. But he can’t understand irony at all, unfortunately.

 

[Wernology]

'All I do all day is pace the hallway'

.....i'll just point out that this is literally what the most wacked out of their mind dementia patients do in all the nursing homes i'm worked at. Literally just walking up and down the same hallway nonstop. Make of that what you will

It's also what caged animals with no enrichment do.

I'd say he's closer on the spectrum to a caged animal in a roadside zoo than a dementia patient.

 

[VoidFace]

Don't mind me, just a little something to annoy Lucas.

 

[Jeep1971]

He's admitted from the start that he was in a group home/boarding house/dorm setting, but always tried to hide that it was assisted living/nursing home.

He wants the young baes to think he lives in a dormitory when he fact he is in a low rated nursing home for people in Medicare.

 

[ManfromtheMoon]

The video FINALLY finished uploading if y'all want to cringe at some 2010-sometime pre-Starbucks incident Wern, it includes terrible singing, terrible music videos, "I'm a good guy I could have raped her but I didn't because I'm a good guy", and Skinny Wern.

Also Wern With A Girlfriend.

Edit: Y'all remember the "million dollar shirt"? The one that said "conversation" in the same style as that stupid coexist shirt made up of various religious symbols?

I kinda feel violated watching him film the chick while nonchalantly claiming he's a nice guy for not doing anything to her. This is the type of shit he pulls that really makes you question how much of a threat he actually he is. He always gives off the impression of being a spineless pedo, political nuttjob who would be dangerous given the right circumstances. But I never imagined him to be a creepy, rapey sex pest that fights the urge to pull down his pants whenever he sees an unconscious teenage chick. This really sheds some light on why he always hangs out near bars. I don't know much about the bars he stalks to, if it's popular for a certain demographic ie: (college students, or older men) so take my theory crafting with a grain of salt. I just find it incredibly creepy how his just watching them, trying to control his urge to kidnap a blacked out chick

 

[Wernology]

I kinda feel violated watching him film the chick while nonchalantly claiming he's a nice guy for not doing anything to her. This is the type of shit he pulls that really makes you question how much of a threat he actually he is. He always gives off the impression of being a spineless pedo, political nuttjob who would be dangerous given the right circumstances. But I never imagined him to be a creepy, rapey sex pest that fights the urge to pull down his pants whenever he sees an unconscious teenage chick. This really sheds some light on why he always hangs out near bars. I don't know much about the bars he stalks to, if it's popular for a certain demographic ie: (college students, or older men) so take my theory crafting with a grain of salt. I just find it incredibly creepy how his just watching them, trying to control his urge to kidnap a blacked out chick

That one is so creepy and so oddly important to keep in because he will vehemently deny ever having done what you see him doing and saying in that video if anyone ever asks him about it.

He'd probably still deny it in the face of proof the way he denies his mom being the source of, "It's not in the cards", but at least there's proof somewhere public that he does actually think like a Nice Guy who would absolutely assault someone who was passed out if there were no witnesses (in this case, luckily for her, there were witnesses, you can see him watching them and vaguely hear them talking in the background).

 

[WonderWino]

2010-2012 mostly.

Also his FB posts from after they broke up.
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Well now, lets analyze lucas's statements here:

my ex-girlfriend pointed out that I made false claims of happenings afoot

Lucas tries to make himself sound smart by adding 'afoot' nonsensically while seemingly oblivious that the way he worded the statement implies both the fact he is guilty of this and that he is aware he is guilty

...wouldn't respond to my insistence that they quit so I had to yell at them or I would call the police

translation: lucas spazzed out screaming at at people when a dog shit on the lawn during its walk, as dogs do and when they reacted badly to being screamed at by an obvious nutcase and refused to listen to him as a result he flipped out further and threatened to call the cops.....over a dog shitting on the lawn. Gee, I wonder why that ended up in her report to the court for his DV case

Now if I remember the conversation clearly, where she said to just let it go my response was something along the lines of let what go what the hell are you talking about? i'm not merely going to let this incident go. if you procure me a camera I can prove to you your neighbors are doing things to your property unbeknownst to your knowledge

Lucas makes two attempts to sound smart again, with his 'procure me a camera' and nonsensically stating 'unbeknownst to your knowledge' clearly proving he doesn't understand what that word means or how to use it correctly. He is also seemingly entirely unaware that he sounds like a nutcase in being so bent out of shape over a dog shitting on the lawn that he demands she get him a camera so he can presumably hide out in the bushes or something to that effect and take a picture of the dog shitting on the lawn if it happens again so he can win the argument and prove it happened. That this doesn't sound unhinged and absurd to him speaks for itself and raises more than a few red flags, that he would obsess this much over a dog shitting on the lawn

Its almost like folks don't want to know whats going on. they'd much rather live in their comfortable bubbles

Again, lucas proves he clearly does not understand how crazy he is coming off or just how absurdly minor of an incident it truly was, nor why suzanne must have been acting concerned over his obsession over it

So I have to ask, why wouldn;t you let me prove to you I was correct?

Translation: 'why are you acting like i'm acting mental by demanding you let me stake out the yard and catch the dog shitting on the lawn on camera to satisfy my ego'

Did you or did you not remove the camera from the house even though I had requested the use of it for said purposes of capturing criminal activity on camera

Translation: 'When I told you I intended to take the camera and hide out in the yard to take pictures of the neighbors dog taking a shit it freaked you out and you put the camera somewhere I couldn't find it and I totally don't understand why'

Did you or did you not let me prove my claim? and for what purposes did you or did you not allow me ot use the camera in order to prove my claim? for what reason did you remove the camera upon my claim

....The claim that the dog shit in the yard. a near total nonissue that i'm now spazzing out over. This comes off as absolutely unhinged

Are you hiding something from me? and if so what are you hiding? at least that is how I imagine the proceedings in my head were you to provide evidence

Now the paranoia kicks in and lucas starts convincing himself not being allowed to take pictures of the neighbors dog taking a shit is part of a conspiracy, being prevented because suzanne is hiding something important from him. Because that is a totally sane conclusion to draw in this situation

Getting tired of couch surfing and false sympathy

Translation: i'm sick of people telling me I was being crazy and suzanne did the right thing kicking me out and getting a restraining order

My parents each showed sympathy for one day. mom and larry 4 hours

Translation: mommy assumed I was being treated unfairly until I told her what I did to get suzanne pissed off and mommy took her side and told me it wasn't appropriate for me to behave that way

I don't think I should have to compromise my ideals in order to appease the ideals of others. for one thing I have civil rights and am no threat to anyone

Because nothing says 'i'm no threat to anyone' like just having gotten out of jail after nearly 2 months with a DV record and stalking conviction for totally not proving you're a threat to someone.

As is i'm at my friend strikers place who isn't even allowed to have guests over but is being generous out of the kindness of his heart because he's a true friend

Translation: 'i'm willing to get my 'friend' in trouble and potentially kicked out of his house to take me in when hes not even allowed to'

but his meth smoking brother kyle who lives in another part of town is threatening to alert the housing authority, which may cause me to alert the police hes in possession of illegal drugs

and here we go with lucas threatening people again. That he would be stupid enough to piss off a meth head (and thats assuming lucas is even telling the truth about that seeing as he accuses everyone he hates of doing meth) getting a meth head in shit with the cops sounds like a good way to get into a bad situation, but of course lucas doesn't think that far ahead. Lucas doesn't even consider that by his own admission he's not supposed to be there so said brother is well within his right to report lucas. Lucas is playing victim while knowing full well he's not allowed to be doing what he is doing in the first place

a threat who is holding illegal drugs is threatening me so I will report him to the police. my rights are being violated!

.....What rights? Lucas admits he isn't supposed to be staying there in the first place and can get in shit for it. Aside from potentially putting lucas in danger, reporting said meth head would at best lead him to turn his brother in and get lucas kicked out, so lucas is fucking himself over with his own threat no matter how you look at it and is too stupid to realize it

I may go up to seattle to stay at my cousin janas place but shouldn't my immediate family be doing something about this?

No they shouldn't. and lol at the idea of lucas going to seattle. He would have ended up on the street there before long and would have been fucked. Seattle hobos would eat him alive

I have left suzanne alone, what more do you people want?

No you didn't. You ranted and raved about her and tried to play victim and make people think she was the one who screwed you over

I'm not looking forward to walking tomorrow, I have chronic leg pain, a hip that cramps up and very weak knees. despite losing 100 pounds I still suffer #medicalmarijuana

Translation: i'm an obese pig who is too lazy to walk and in pain because i'm obese. Give me drugs

I don't blame anybody but I am confused by the lack of care

....You literally blame everybody but yourself in that post when you did all of it to yourself. What a narcissist. You're confused by people seeing through your bs and not telling you it wasn't your fault like mommy always did

 

[Wernology]

One last birthday present for Lucas tonight before I head off to sleep.

 

[Cow-Lovin' Fool]

Luke's big day has arrived!!!

 

[MeganDodgedABullet]

God damn, some primo content the last couple of days, nice vintage Wern. Hope the creepy fat fuck has a terrible day and a consequent chimpout!

 

[BowlOfDick]

Happy Telomere Day everyone!

 

[Trayvon Fartin]

Haven’t checked in on the thread in a while, is he homeless yet?

 

[Maxxicus Callahan]

Haven’t checked in on the thread in a while, is he homeless yet?

Still rotting at Mallon Place. For how long hopefully for his sake until he gets his feet treated but he keeps walking around against the doctor’s orders so an amputation wheelchair saga looks like it’s in the cards. Mallon Place must be driving him so crazy the way we know he paces up and down the hallway. They are treating his fucked up feet free of charge and of course he has no gratitude whatsoever. Doesn’t care if he loses his limbs to diabetes because he’s not bothered to try adjusting to reality whether it comes to his love quest or his health.

Edit: it’s interesting with these cows and their fatalism. They basically do their thing for as long as they can however they see fit until the hammer falls.

 

[HullDown]

In general I would try to give sound advice where possible, I never saw a reason to be dishonest. We were once talking about him designing a board game, and he wanted to make a strategy game which would put guerrilla fighters against some kind of enemy. Ok, fine, that is not a terrible idea. So we were talking about guerrilla fighters against professional armies, and asymmetric warfare…and out of nowhere he went COMPLETELY INSANE with the concept. I’ll include some screenshots.

He’s just getting into the swing of things before his brain is even more broken and he ends up doing that all day, anyways lol.

And he’s basically just a child putting their fingers in their ears and screaming “I can’t hear you.”

I’m just sitting down to watch the new video, love some vintage Wern lol

Root is a game that basically retells the story of the Russian Revolution with cute furry animals playing the nobility, the proletariat, the middle class and foreign interests. It also uses mechanisms taken from the COIN series of games (COIN as in COunter INsurgency) . Cole Wehrle, the author, is pretty well respected for being an"auteur" of boardgames, illustrating some principle of political science or a specific time of history with subtle rules.

Basically, you mentioned counterinsurgency games, and Lucas imagined himself in Wehrle's position immediately - well respected, making hundreds of thousands from Kickstarter alone, popular among both casual gamers and snobs. The fantasy took over and he couldn't give a crap about making himself understood to you anymore.

 

[BowlOfDick]

Still rotting at Mallon Place. For how long hopefully for his sake until he gets his feet treated but he keeps walking around against the doctor’s orders so an amputation wheelchair saga looks like it’s in the cards. Mallon Place must be driving him so crazy the way we know he paces up and down the hallway. They are treating his fucked up feet free of charge and of course he has no gratitude whatsoever. Doesn’t care if he loses his limbs to diabetes because he’s not bothered to try adjusting to reality whether it comes to his love quest or his health.

Edit: it’s interesting with these cows and their fatalism. They basically do their thing for as long as they can however they see fit until the hammer falls.

Nugget Lucas, arms and legs amputated, plopped onto a street corner screaming at passing women to accept his magic sperm..

 

[Mister Uno]

Nugget Lucas, arms and legs amputated, plopped onto a street corner screaming at passing women to accept his magic sperm..

God I can't wait for wheelchair saga. Feel bad for saying that, but Lucas is the few cows I legitimately wish ill on. Part of me still hopes he turns around, but that won't happen.

 

[BowlOfDick]

God I can't wait for wheelchair saga. Feel bad for saying that, but Lucas is the few cows I legitimately wish ill on. Part of me still hopes he turns around, but that won't happen.

That’s the joy of Wernology.

It is either a cathartic tale of a pedophilic scumbag receiving his just desserts in a never ending spiral or misery, or a charming tale of redemption.

The latter is, or course, highly unlikely.

 

[mothman96]

He wants the young baes to think he lives in a dormitory when he fact he is in a low rated nursing home for people in Medicare.

Got me thinking when the Freak got admitted to Mallon Place the facility billed medicaid and he didn't have to use his savings. He still has savings money to spend and that is how he has been able to order "Squonk", invites Gen Z for drinks at Bistango's and plans to order his new "Squonk Turd".

 

[Purgatorium]

Don't mind me, just a little something to annoy Lucas.

I think he knows that he should not be walking, it’s just people telling him that he shouldn’t that makes him have the undeniable urge to not listen to what he is told and do the exact opposite of that. Doesn’t mean that this interaction isn’t hilarious though, it’s only a little bit expected and I hope you didn’t waste too much energy talking to a literal wall of waste.

I for one cannot wait for the wheelchair saga. I think his rage about it will be short-lived though, because I give it a couple of weeks and then he’s gonna call ableism to everything. Can’t get a zoomer bae? Ableism. Can’t get proper housing? Ableism. Mallon Place not tending to his every need when he wants it? Ableism. It’s going to be put in his repertoire of general malaise.

 

[VoidFace]

Root is a game that basically retells the story of the Russian Revolution with cute furry animals playing the nobility, the proletariat, the middle class and foreign interests. It also uses mechanisms taken from the COIN series of games (COIN as in COunter INsurgency) . Cole Wehrle, the author, is pretty well respected for being an"auteur" of boardgames, illustrating some principle of political science or a specific time of history with subtle rules.

Basically, you mentioned counterinsurgency games, and Lucas imagined himself in Wehrle's position immediately - well respected, making hundreds of thousands from Kickstarter alone, popular among both casual gamers and snobs. The fantasy took over and he couldn't give a crap about making himself understood to you anymore.

Ah, well the more you know. Thanks for giving me some insight. I had heard of the game but I didn't know the background of the person who designed it.

Also:

Awwww, Lucas mad! And obviously lying, he had no idea who I was. (It didn't make it onto the post, Youtube deleted it)