Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[neutral grandpa]

This is it. This will be the year Lucas convinces everyone to throw away their money and live free like he does. or he will continue to spiral down the drain mentally and physically, somehow being worse off then he already is. One of those two scenarios

 

[Maxxicus Callahan]

This is it. This will be the year Lucas convinces everyone to throw away their money and live free like he does. or he will continue to spiral down the drain mentally and physically, somehow being worse off then he already is. One of those two scenarios

Definitely the latter, he already gets free food downtown at the shelters and now the nursing home. Anarchy in his mind is a party with free grub hub meals and an orgy in the public square that he thinks he can hop in on, as if it was VJ Day at the end of WWII where everybody was partying and having sex. It really is amazing how limited his conception of others wants are. Because of the way his rutting animal brain works he thinks free food, big party, no more big Corpos or government and we will all be squatting and happily fucking and feasting. He thinks he’ll be able to budge in like an obese retarded hippo at the watering hole on that glorious day and get some action. I’d kind of like to see such a day just to see Lucas cry when no one wants to touch his teeny weenie.

 

[Da Dude123]

I think it's just that one (and I believe multiple bars in Spokane...and multiple homeless shelters at least for short times...and the apartment rental lists...and his family members' homes...). I would imagine it's hard to do any kind of multi-location ban across Starbucks locations and be able to enforce it unless it's an extreme situation. But who knows, they may have put on paper that they're "banning" him from that location and every other one under the sun and hope that would be enough to keep him away.

It would be awesome to compile a list of all the places Lucas Werner is banned from. We would see restaurants, coffee shops, public libraries, public parks, bars and taverns, homeless shelters. All due to his entitled autistic behavior.

Remember when he always would talk about Churchhill's Restaurant? He always was trying to take a 16-22 year old woman out for steak. There was a rumor they had banned him from their establishment. Not sure if they actually did or not.

Lol @ the other nursing home resident and the $500 leather jacket. Lucas being the money hating commie he claims to be sure had to put a dollar value on everything. His $30 game maker box, a $68 dollar steak, and his friend's $500 leather jacket. And my favorite, when he gets Biden bux and flashes the money around like an unsigned rap artist.

 

[SupSilver]

He really can't seperate food from anything. I shudder to think about how he would connect it to him being a massive pedophileView attachment 2847241

Why is he ordering dominos or pizza hut? Did big man Luke spend his leftover 20 bucks on a single delivery of food again? You think he'd be okay with those enormous cafeteria portions

 

[Wernology]

So, I did, in fact, read through the 'story' he posted.

Go on, listen to the retelling of Oliver Dangle, the musclebound biker who passes out with eggroll crumbs, and hauls whole ass barges, deer carcasses, a semi-automatic rifle for hunting the deer, and construction equipment from Bostyork (because Boston and New York merged) down the coast to Delaware on his little Kawasaki motorcycle, and gets the girl in the end (at the age of 41).

 

[King Daddy Telomerase]

Why is he ordering dominos or pizza hut? Did big man Luke spend his leftover 20 bucks on a single delivery of food again? You think he'd be okay with those enormous cafeteria portions

Yes, he probably did. Tardbux were sent out on the 30th. And now Lucas has no money for another month.

 

[Jeep1971]

So, I did, in fact, read through the 'story' he posted.

Go on, listen to the retelling of Oliver Dangle, the musclebound biker who passes out with eggroll crumbs, and hauls whole ass barges, deer carcasses, a semi-automatic rifle for hunting the deer, and construction equipment from Bostyork (because Boston and New York merged) down the coast to Delaware on his little Kawasaki motorcycle, and gets the girl in the end (at the age of 41).

Is he decompensating? It seems like he's purposely working himself up, building to another tard rage that involves law enforcement intervention.
Side Note: I would HATE being the unfortunate delivery person who brings Werns pizza. He's probably paying with his government bank card without as much as a penny tip. If it's a young female driver, God help her.

 

[Fatal Walter]

I think he said the pizza was 7/11 so he only spent like 6$ on it unless he doordashed it like his slurpee or something

 

[Wernology]

I think he said the pizza was 7/11 so he only spent like 6$ on it unless he doordashed it like his slurpee or something

Given how mad he was at Grubhub at the beginning of his story, I bet he used that service.

 

[SpiceyHuman]

Lucas ending the year with a video of him shoving some greasy pizza down his throat-

Spoiler: Pizza Almost Mukbang With Coffee

Original:

Archive (1080p):
View attachment 2845558

The way he eats will never not be hilarious to me. His jaw moves like cattle chewing cud. A true cow in every way.

 

[King Daddy Telomerase]

I think it's just that one (and I believe multiple bars in Spokane...and multiple homeless shelters at least for short times...and the apartment rental lists...and his family members' homes...). I would imagine it's hard to do any kind of multi-location ban across Starbucks locations and be able to enforce it unless it's an extreme situation. But who knows, they may have put on paper that they're "banning" him from that location and every other one under the sun and hope that would be enough to keep him away.

I'd guess Lucas is banned from all the Starbucks in Spokane because there's at least 5 of them within walking distance around him, and you'd think that's a prime spot for the leftist Gen Z bae he desires.

Lucas paying for delivery when 7-11 is half a mile away is such a great way to burn his little money. He may not have a choice with his rotting feet, but still.

 

[A whole lotta nope]

How do you get seconds of housing?

A vacation home maybe? But the majority of people don't have more than one home. Who knows what Lucas' thought process is with this one.

The way he eats will never not be hilarious to me. His jaw moves like cattle chewing cud. A true cow in every way.

I can't deal with watching him eat. It's nauseating. My dog has better manners than Lucas. I'd imagine he'd eat this way on a date too (not that he could get one).

Lucas paying for delivery when 7-11 is half a mile away is such a great way to burn his little money. He may not have a choice with his rotting feet, but still.

It's just another example of Lucas' piss poor money management skills. There are literal children with better money skills.

 

[WonderWino]

So, I did, in fact, read through the 'story' he posted.

Go on, listen to the retelling of Oliver Dangle, the musclebound biker who passes out with eggroll crumbs, and hauls whole ass barges, deer carcasses, a semi-automatic rifle for hunting the deer, and construction equipment from Bostyork (because Boston and New York merged) down the coast to Delaware on his little Kawasaki motorcycle, and gets the girl in the end (at the age of 41).

When lucas went on about how without a government people will turn everything into a festival I suspect it would go alot like this

Literally a sudden violent orgy of speds. Only thing missing is a bunch of food

 

[Maxxicus Callahan]

He’s really been into the word Dangle lately.

 

[Fanatical Pragmatist]

Very young girls are his intended audience. His actual audience is us, the Kiwi Farmers, as well as others who watch his antics to laugh and mock Lucas because he is such a mooo cow.

Occasionally there are some well meaning people who attempt to help Lucas by trying to get him to change and see the error of his ways. That always goes poorly and it ends with Lucas chimping out and calling them a bitch and blocking them. I would say Lucas hates people like that more than people like us who mock him and tell him him it's not in the cards for him. Lucas believes above all that he is plenty good. And he possesses one of the biggest lolcow traits, in that he rejects advice. Advice that implies he is the problem enrages him.

Is this a copy-paste?
Because I'm on like second-degree deja-vu that I've read these exact words before.

Lucas declaring himself the pedo president and allowing anarchy with no cops or protection for himself. He didn't think this through well.

Nah, like any true "anarchist", Lucas is grade-A "rules for thee but not for me".

There wont be any laws against stealing, public exposure, or molesting underage girls; but if you dare send President Wern a frozen catfish you'll be arrested and executed via toaster oven on live television.

1. "Unkie Wern".
2. The fuck is this?
View attachment 2846634

This reads like a shitty C-tier Nationstates.net roleplay.

 

[Wernology]

He’s really been into the word Dangle lately.
View attachment 2848801

I think he's mad that we were laughing at his OC, Oliver Dangle, in the live.

I KNOW this one is directed at me because I specifically talked about hunting with black powder rifles at one point and was sarcastically congratulating his OC for 'discovering' ethanol. Bitchboy has me blocked, crowed about that a lot at one point, yet still tunes in to watch.

Edit, he copy-pasted verbatim from the first google result of "what is black powder made of"; I had to check.

 

[WonderWino]

I think he's mad that we were laughing at his OC, Oliver Dangle, in the live.

I KNOW this one is directed at me because I specifically talked about hunting with black powder rifles at one point and was sarcastically congratulating his OC for 'discovering' ethanol. Bitchboy has me blocked, crowed about that a lot at one point, yet still tunes in to watch.
View attachment 2848859

Edit, he copy-pasted verbatim from the first google result of "what is black powder made of"; I had to check.

View attachment 2848872

I don't know which makes him sound stupider - the fact that his character clears acreage with fucking dynamite like a demented cartoon hillbilly or the that he seems to think dynamite is made with gunpowder. It isn't. It generally consists of nitroglycerine combined with a stabilizer agent to make it safe to handle, frequently sawdust historically though not so much anymore, and an absorbent compound. So he's talking about two entirely different things in a nonsensical manner and is too stupid to realize it

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

I vote "Oliver munched his eggroll" as the thread catechism.

 

[IceQueen]

So, I did, in fact, read through the 'story' he posted.

Go on, listen to the retelling of Oliver Dangle, the musclebound biker who passes out with eggroll crumbs, and hauls whole ass barges, deer carcasses, a semi-automatic rifle for hunting the deer, and construction equipment from Bostyork (because Boston and New York merged) down the coast to Delaware on his little Kawasaki motorcycle, and gets the girl in the end (at the age of 41).

You are really the real MVP, Klick. Can’t wait to listen to this mess later.

 

[Twrx]

You don't clear a area with dynamite. You do it with detcord. I'm willing to bet that the only reason he knows the word salt peter, is because a few pages back someone said malon place is putting salt peter in his food and it permently placed itself in his mind. Despite his claims that his mega micro penis isn't an issue to him, the size and ablity to get a hard on or not is something he most likely stews on nonstop. Never leaves his thoughts.