Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[wenttobermuda]

He absolutely uses the excuse of filming videos to justify a continuous narrative with himself. He has himself mentioned that people see him talking to himself, but he says it's just because he's bored, not that he's crazy. Yeah, right.

I was thinking...eventually someone, Skeletor or someone else, is going to interview Lucas again, and I'd like to put together, for posterity, a short list of the questions I want someone to ask Lucas, questions that I've had for a long time in most cases, and I guess I mentioned Skeletor because I see him as having the right mixture of a light touch with Lucas, but not letting Lucas get away with bullshit. Any additional questions, especially things that haven't been beaten to death already, would be appreciated:

1. The Voices on the Wind. Not a question so much as it is a request for someone to discuss the Voices on the Wind with Lucas, and not let him slip out of it by claiming that he was joking, or something of the sort.... As he had done with Goldaor. I think Skeletor would be great at this, assuming Skeletor is deep enough in the lore to understand what the Voices on the Wind are.

2. How does Lucas know someone's age and political affiliation by looking at them? Where did Lucas get the idea that blushing meant that someone was flirting with him? Again, not letting him slip away with non-answers or "I was kidding / I'm a comedian" BS. (Frankly, keeping Lucas as serious as possible, and on topic, goes for all of these questions).

3. Where did Lucas get the idea that it was a betrayal of socialist values, or Christian principles, for girls to not sleep with him? And don't let him get away with some generalized "Jesus said you're supposed to love everyone" crap, I want some sort of specific answer to this idea that he sees religion and politics as justifying sexual congress with a person of your choosing.

4. In a similar vein to number 3: Where does Lucas get the idea that God not immediately delivering a wish of a girlfriend in the flesh to him is some sort of reasonable proof of the lack of existence of god? Where in christianity, or any religion, does it say that God is required to instantly gratify wishes? We're not talking about a genie, Fatty!

So that's what I've got so far. As I said, I would be interested in hearing any questions that Lucas hasn't already answered, or proven himself unable to answer, like things about pedophilia, which clearly get him so riled up that no one's ever going to get a straight answer out of him.

@Cnaiur urs Skiotha is on to something, and I think it ties to the question of who Lucas understands his audience to be. Lucas is unusually prolific in his cringe, something which Wernologists may come to take for granted. It may be a sort of parasocial (courtship) relationship (lol) with Gen Z. But consider that Lucas talks to himself. Sometimes, but not always, he does it with a camera on and pointed at his face. Lucas has been observed talking to himself in public, and has on occasion admitted to this habit by way of explaining it. His prolific social media output, his incessant need to broadcast his unfulfilled fantasy, goes beyond self babble, but is a form of it. Social media provides us unusual access to this particular mad man's self-babble, but it'd be going on without the medium.

 

[Pump Meat]

Here is my hot take after checking in on our boy:

Lucas has cycled into a depressive state, but this go around he’s found himself in a place that he can’t easily sabotage. He can’t go to the ER for suicidal ideation because he has nothing to ask for: not only is he already getting three hots and a cot, but there is also staff on hand to ensure important personal cares are being completed. The only things they could offer him would be therapeutic treatments for symptoms Lucas doesn’t think he really has. They’d offer to tweak his meds, find him a therapist, diet/exercise consultation, get him enrolled in some kind of supervised work program, but these are things Lucas places no value on.

His disordered personality and dysregulated emotions usually compel him to go start shit with people. Finding a young woman to harass is one of his favorite activities, or perhaps incessantly complaining about someone habitually breaking the rules or getting exemptions for extenuating circumstances, but he is in a facility where he won’t get the reaction he wants. His peers are either too old or too disabled to really give a shit about any drama he could potentially start, and staff will happily ignore his bitching as long as he is doing everything required of him (his daily routine).

His usual coping method for this is binge eating, getting high, and wandering Spokane alone in his head, occasionally creating social media content when the mood strikes him. But dat ‘beetus lifestyle has taken a toll on his feet and the weather right now in the Pacific NW isn’t kind. Even worse is that his discretionary income has all but vanished because of his living arrangement (as intended), so no pre-wrapped blunts or middle class dining experiences are to be had to jazz his limbic system. He is stuck in that facility, where he is physically safe, warm and properly fed, surrounded by peers, and with few outlets for his narcissistic fantasies.

As far as the various government agencies and medical establishment is concerned, Lucas is precisely where he needs to be. It isn’t lavish, but it is adequate and much better than living in a shelter or on the streets.

Lucas probably experiences this as Dante’s ninth level of hell where the personification of Lucifer resides, his three heads represented by Capitalism, Christianity, and Ageism, and the frozen tears they shed are all the Gen Z children he could have approached with, “Hi, my name is Lucas and I think you are really beautiful. Would you like to get some ice cream?” to which they would have immediately accepted and afterwards would absolutely let Lucas spray his DNA inside of them for the purposes of reproduction, because 16 year old children dream of being mounted by overweight 40 year old men with poor hygiene. If it only hadn’t been for Capitalism, Christianity, and Ageism, he could have all that he desired.

 

[WonderWino]

4. In a similar vein to number 3: Where does Lucas get the idea that God not immediately delivering a wish of a girlfriend in the flesh to him is some sort of reasonable proof of the lack of existence of god? Where in christianity, or any religion, does it say that God is required to instantly gratify wishes? We're not talking about a genie, Fatty!

The funny thing is no sane atheist would use that kind of logic as evidence that a god does or does not exist. If such a being exists, why would it have any obligation or inclination to just give lucas a little girl? Does that apply to people demanding winning the lottery or their ex wife getting devoured by rabid bears? By his own logic his mother doesn't exist. After all, she doesn't give lucas what he wants either, so shouldn't he be denying her existence as well? He never thinks through anything he says, he just looks for excuses and thinks everyone else is as stupid as he is

 

[Wernology]

I love it when I accidentally pause a video perfectly.

Anyway, meant to do a short stream, rambled on about Lucas and laughing at videos of him crying, sending cringey voicemails, and having meltdowns instead.

 

[WonderWino]

I love it when I accidentally pause a video perfectly.
View attachment 2899497

Anyway, meant to do a short stream, rambled on about Lucas and laughing at videos of him crying, sending cringey voicemails, and having meltdowns instead.

The caption to that picture should be they wanted to put the lobotomy ice pick right here

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

GROSS! He shaved. Look how fat his jowels and jaw wattle are. Neckline is GONE, never to be found again. At least El Pube Beard (TM) created the impression of a jawline, but without... he's just a smooth, doughy egg... With oddly obese earlobes. Also: has he been cutting his hair? Shouldn't it be longer than this by now? I feel like it's been this same length for like 2 years.

 

[Wernology]

View attachment 2899883
GROSS! He shaved. Look how fat his jowels and jaw wattle are. Neckline is GONE, never to be found again. At least El Pube Beard (TM) created the impression of a jawline, but without... he's just a smooth, doughy egg... With oddly obese earlobes. Also: has he been cutting his hair? Shouldn't it be longer than this by now? I feel like it's been this same length for like 2 years.

Pube beard is so nasty looking looks and texture wise, but somehow jiggly shaved is almost as gross.

Reminds me of raw turkey.

 

[Fanatical Pragmatist]

View attachment 2899883
GROSS! He shaved. Look how fat his jowels and jaw wattle are. Neckline is GONE, never to be found again. At least El Pube Beard (TM) created the impression of a jawline, but without... he's just a smooth, doughy egg... With oddly obese earlobes. Also: has he been cutting his hair? Shouldn't it be longer than this by now? I feel like it's been this same length for like 2 years.

At least he didn't get obvious razor cuts this time.

 

[Stafford Beer Bong]

At least he didn't get obvious razor cuts this time.

The nurse probably shaved his face for him.

 

[Fanatical Pragmatist]

The nurse probably shaved his face for him.

That poor nurse.

 

[Da Dude123]

The cow is hungry and wants you to send him money.

 

[wenttobermuda]

View attachment 2899883
GROSS! He shaved. Look how fat his jowels and jaw wattle are. Neckline is GONE, never to be found again. At least El Pube Beard (TM) created the impression of a jawline, but without... he's just a smooth, doughy egg... With oddly obese earlobes. Also: has he been cutting his hair? Shouldn't it be longer than this by now? I feel like it's been this same length for like 2 years.

Without facial hair, he looks like a frog. You expect his throat to bulge out at any moment, his tongue to dart at a fly.

Frog Prince Lucas Colby Werner, heir to the Elk Kingdom, awaits the kiss of a Gen Z kween.

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

The nurse probably shaved his face for him.

Too bad she didn't do it while he was taking a shit. That probably would have made him throw a glass at her fall in love with her.

And regarding the "homie hookup", I think it's hysterical that Lucas never begged when he was homeless, like he never sat down on a street corner with a cardboard sign that said "Hungry: will meme for money", BUT with the distance and buffer of social media, he's a near-constant begger.

I'm normally against people giving cows any money when they beg, but I can't decide what I would rather Lucas to suffer through: hunger, which is itself debatable (I think he's more likely bored, sad, and trying to use the time-tested method of self-soothing that his mommy taught him... when she took him out to get ice cream after the little 7-year-old girl he was obsessed with understandably didn't want giant fat creepy Lucas at her birthday party) considering that he gets three squares and snacks a day, or increased weight gain and diabetic complications. I guess it's immediate gratification versus future enjoyment?

Either way, Lucas has absolutely no shame, but the fact that he can occasionally bemoan his sorry state and weight gain and yet STILL constantly beg for junk food manages to surprise me with its inanity, even though given Lucas's behavior, I should expect it by now, no doubt.

Edit:


Edit 2:

Apparently, Andrew got the homie hookup!

 

[Da Dude123]

Lucas does rely on donations for mukbangs and cow antics. But he is still plenty good!

 

[Wernology]

The cow is hungry and wants you to send him money.

Does his nutritionist know fatty is trying to cheat?

 

[Trombonista]

Oh, yeah. This is definitely right. Lucas could not just decide on to leave on his own and live at the bus station or House of Charity. His payee would never allow it. Ironically, he may have to get evicted to get his Clinkerdagger money back. But he would be missing his precious food stamp money for a bit.

The content would be glorious if Lucas did not lose or break his phone, which there is a very real possibility that he would.
View attachment 2895888
But Lucas will just keep on going and doing what he does. He has to keep going. He doesn't have a choice.

That's fanart of Doraemon.

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

Regarding The GeekRoom: whoever organizes their YouTube page has decided that name-dropping Lucas, and using these stupid distorted pictures of him for the thumbnails, is a good way to direct traffic. Here are three posts from their community tab, all leading up to less than 5 minutes of content in their overly long and uninteresting podcasts, deliberately misinforming people to suggest that Lucas's admission of pedophilia is something new:

 

[Krathnami]

Regarding The GeekRoom: whoever organizes their YouTube page has decided that name-dropping Lucas, and using these stupid distorted pictures of him for the thumbnails, is a good way to direct traffic. Here are three posts from their community tab, all leading up to less than 5 minutes of content in their overly long and uninteresting podcasts, deliberately misinforming people to suggest that Lucas's admission of pedophilia is something new:
View attachment 2901182
View attachment 2901183
View attachment 2901185

Imagine using an overweight pedophile to boost your public online presence

 

[WonderWino]

Frog Prince Lucas Colby Werner, heir to the Elk Kingdom, awaits the kiss of a Gen Z kween.

...But he'll settle for a budweiser bae

Doesn't surprise me at all that he's begging for food. He's stupid enough to do so even after being told how shit his health is. He's going to end up in a wheelchair at this rate

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

For the love of The God that won't put some poonanner on Lucas's cocktail pep, Klick or someone else pleeeeeeease with telomerase on top make a compilation of just a few thousand times Fatty here has said "bitch", okay?

Obliged.