Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[Da Dude123]

If only he’d fall for another plane ticket from a catfish, this would be the perfect time. Just fuck up his whole life even more than it is.

And he would almost certainly fall for it again. He learned nothing from that saga and he is definitely stupid enough to fall for it again. He really believes that Gen Z women should love him and that a young woman who has never met him before would certainly be ready to have him move in with her to begin a new life.
If this happens again he may be screwed. But maybe some ween would rescue him. He is such an lolcow in how he never learns his lessons.

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

Lucas's shout-out reveals his face:

...Shockingly similar to foot cream fatty:

Yes, Lucas's face is so fat now that his eyes are almost fatted shut, a degree of disfigurement he hasn't really had since the foot cream allergic reaction. Congrats, Lucas, you're as fat as you were when your face was dealing with your foot cream facial!

 

[VoidFace]

Lucas's shout-out reveals his face:
View attachment 3158444
...Shockingly similar to foot cream fatty:
View attachment 3158445
Yes, Lucas's face is so fat now that his eyes are almost fatted shut, a degree of disfigurement he hasn't really had since the foot cream allergic reaction. Congrats, Lucas, you're as fat as you were when your face was dealing with your foot cream facial!

Hey hey hey…it was “a cold,” remember? Completely truthful Lucas said it himself

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

Hey hey hey…it was “a cold,” remember? Completely truthful Lucas said it himself

I was wondering to myself why Lucas is still wearing the mask when he's by himself, and often outdoors, and I was ready to chalk it up to his stupidity, seeming as how he seemed to wear the mask basically at random in the past, but then I thought: could Lucas be trying to use this mask to hide his fat head? He acts like he's not bothered by insults, but in the past he's mentioned several times that being called fat really does bother him.

That seems very Lucas-like to me, trying to hide his giant fat head behind a little paper diaper that only emphasizes its size.

 

[Wernology]

Hey hey hey…it was “a cold,” remember? Completely truthful Lucas said it himself

Definitely a cold and not the aftermath of putting acidic foot cream all over his face!

Bonus:

Somehow seeing the bald spot from that angle makes the combover and rat tail even more pathetic.

 

[WhiskerBiscuit]

In the Outcast Owls video, Lucas says he no longer has cellular phone service. He uses a text app for Wi-Fi. I think that’s why he stopped the outdoor streams. I also think that he stopped paying for cell service so he can eat more take out Which is just more evidence that he prefers food over everything.

 

[Jeep1971]

In the Outcast Owls video, Lucas says he no longer has cellular phone service. He uses a text app for Wi-Fi. I think that’s why he stopped the outdoor streams. I also think that he stopped paying for cell service so he can eat more take out Which is just more evidence that he prefers food over everything.

For what they charge, I'd hope Mallon has WiFi!

 

[Da Dude123]

In the Outcast Owls video, Lucas says he no longer has cellular phone service. He uses a text app for Wi-Fi. I think that’s why he stopped the outdoor streams. I also think that he stopped paying for cell service so he can eat more take out Which is just more evidence that he prefers food over everything.

So, now he can't actually call anyone? Perfect! He can't call his family, not that they would want to talk to him, and he won't have a phone number to call and speak to a bae. Just whatever he can do on wifi.

Also, all his moooing about getting or trying to get a job, which I believe is all smoke and mirrors, will be harder to do without a phone number to call him. Some jobs contact you about interviews through email, but not all do. But I do not believe his talk of trying to find work is at all sincere.

Again, he could get an Obama phone, but he couldn't figure out how to use it.

 

[MeganDodgedABullet]

Definitely a cold and not the aftermath of putting acidic foot cream all over his face!

Bonus:
View attachment 3158814

Somehow seeing the bald spot from that angle makes the combover and rat tail even more pathetic.

C'mon you artist types - that view gives me a "comic book guy" from The Simpsons vibe...

 

[Duke Nukem]

I hope he listed "Skeletor Da God" as a reference. He would do that. "Uh, yeah, yeah, Skeletor can vouch for me."

To be honest, if someone listed Skeletor as a job-related reference I'd actually be more interested, not less. At least, if it were done by someone who isn't Lucas.

Fat pig is so stuffed that one beer can cause his stomach, full of nursing home meals and grub hub to overflow. Food must be the only pleasure left in his life, no wonder he is balooning so quickly.

I know this is Lucas we're talking about, but it's still kinda tragic that he doesn't have much to live for. I dunno what's more tragic, a person who knows his life is shit and can't do anything about it, or someone who doesn't know and continues to be delusional in that respect.

No friends, no respect, no girlfriend, and no accomplishments apart from a few poorly designed board games that nobody would seriously want to play anyway. And no offspring either.

The age of telomeres is over. The time of the flatbill has come.

One of the joys of wernology is watching an aging oaf not circle the drain so much as clog it, all the while howling for teen puss puss. But these days, wernology is more about watching a diabetic faggot beg for junk food. He's more amusing when on the prowl for sex, not food. Has he given up on mating, and is settling for building up his fat reserves? That would be a tragedy.

Is Lucas more like a fat, neutered dog whining for scraps, or a crippled buzzard who smells carrion but can't be bothered to get to it?

Perhaps he finally realizes that he will never get a mate and is instead resorting to emotional overeating to fill the void in his heart?

 

[ManfromtheMoon]

To be honest, if someone listed Skeletor as a job-related reference I'd actually be more interested, not less. At least, if it were done by someone who isn't Lucas.

I know this is Lucas we're talking about, but it's still kinda tragic that he doesn't have much to live for. I dunno what's more tragic, a person who knows his life is shit and can't do anything about it, or someone who doesn't know and continues to be delusional in that respect.

No friends, no respect, no girlfriend, and no accomplishments apart from a few poorly designed board games that nobody would seriously want to play anyway. And no offspring either.

The age of telomeres is over. The time of the flatbill has come.


Perhaps he finally realizes that he will never get a mate and is instead resorting to emotional overeating to fill the void in his heart?

I already resigned myself to the notion that our prized lolcow is about die and I'll be honest, Lucas is the only lolcow I followed cause of the freakouts he usually do. Now I don't know what lolcow to follow


Anyway here's lucas showing his infinite wisdumb

I'm still confused as to why Lucas chose a ridiculously thicc doctor manhattan vaporizing rorschach as his meme template

 

[mothman96]

In the Outcast Owls video, Lucas says he no longer has cellular phone service. He uses a text app for Wi-Fi. I think that’s why he stopped the outdoor streams. I also think that he stopped paying for cell service so he can eat more take out Which is just more evidence that he prefers food over everything.

So now the Creep is not paying for phone service and has the $70 to blow every month. He could budget the 70 into 1 Atilanos meal per week, but he more likely blows it all the 1st week and goes on that he has no money to get people to send him money/doordash.

 

[VoidFace]

I already resigned myself to the notion that our prized lolcow is about die and I'll be honest, Lucas is the only lolcow I followed cause of the freakouts he usually do. Now I don't know what lolcow to follow


Anyway here's lucas showing his infinite wisdumb
View attachment 3160490

I'm still confused as to why Lucas chose a ridiculously thicc doctor manhattan vaporizing rorschach as his meme template

I’m in the same boat. Lucas is just the right mix of almost coherent, overconfident, pseudo-intellectual, homeless, explosive, etc to be interesting to watch. Plus the fact everything in his life is his own fault makes it more enjoyable. Someone like CWC has always been too cringeworthy and low functioning for me to enjoy, and most cows I’ve seen just can’t keep the interest.

As soon as Lucas is gone, I don’t think I’ll find another cow to watch for a long time. How sad that the only people who might lament his death are the kiwis and not even his own parents

 

[Stafford Beer Bong]

I already resigned myself to the notion that our prized lolcow is about die and I'll be honest, Lucas is the only lolcow I followed cause of the freakouts he usually do. Now I don't know what lolcow to follow


Anyway here's lucas showing his infinite wisdumb
View attachment 3160490

I'm still confused as to why Lucas chose a ridiculously thicc doctor manhattan vaporizing rorschach as his meme template

I’m in the same boat. Lucas is just the right mix of almost coherent, overconfident, pseudo-intellectual, homeless, explosive, etc to be interesting to watch. Plus the fact everything in his life is his own fault makes it more enjoyable. Someone like CWC has always been too cringeworthy and low functioning for me to enjoy, and most cows I’ve seen just can’t keep the interest.

As soon as Lucas is gone, I don’t think I’ll find another cow to watch for a long time. How sad that the only people who might lament his death are the kiwis and not even his own parents

Might I suggest Patrick Tomlinson, Kevin Gibes or Lou Gagliardi?

All produce good quality milk on a rather consistent basis (although Lou can get somewhat boring, part of his charm is the rut he is stuck in which can become repetitive after awhile).

Lucas was the reason I joined the farms. But his days are numbered for sure. I don’t think there will ever be a cow quite like him. If there should ever be a kiwifarms Hall of Fame he should be in the top 5.

 

[Da Dude123]

I’m in the same boat. Lucas is just the right mix of almost coherent, overconfident, pseudo-intellectual, homeless, explosive, etc to be interesting to watch. Plus the fact everything in his life is his own fault makes it more enjoyable. Someone like CWC has always been too cringeworthy and low functioning for me to enjoy, and most cows I’ve seen just can’t keep the interest.

As soon as Lucas is gone, I don’t think I’ll find another cow to watch for a long time. How sad that the only people who might lament his death are the kiwis and not even his own parents

Russell Greer is cow number 2 for me. He is just as autistic and narcissistic. Although, he isn't fat. He and Lucas have lots in common. Rusty does more outlandish things like trying to sue celebrities instead of chimping out in the streets.

If you start with Rusty Greer, there is lots to learn about. I gotta check out some of these other cows. Lucas was how I found out about Kiwi Farms. I learned about him after seeing the national news report about the Starbucks incident and how he had a website about age gap love. Then I uncovered all the lunacy and Islamic content that he puts out and there was no going back.

 

[MeganDodgedABullet]

Russell Greer is cow number 2 for me. He is just as autistic and narcissistic. Although, he isn't fat. He and Lucas have lots in common. Rusty does more outlandish things like trying to sue celebrities instead of chimping out in the streets.

If you start with Rusty Greer, there is lots to learn about. I gotta check out some of these other cows. Lucas was how I found out about Kiwi Farms. I learned about him after seeing the national news report about the Starbucks incident and how he had a website about age gap love. Then I uncovered all the lunacy and Islamic content that he puts out and there was no going back.

This. Lucas was my first cow too..but I've grown to love a bit of shitlips too. They share many commonalities - being freaky,spassy entitled scumfucks. Greer lore is fascinating, going all the way back to his "just a joke" kill list on his high school bathroom wall.


Shame Lucas never went full Greer with his bloviating about suing Starbucks for a gazillion dollars for age discrimination.

 

[mothman96]

Yea Creep, you are so hot IRL women in 2 cities and 10 yrs won't touch you.
And what's with the length of his beard kicking in his mental illness.

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

Yea Creep, you are so hot IRL women in 2 cities and 10 yrs won't touch you.
And what's with the length of his beard kicking in his mental illness.
View attachment 3161802
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He's aged 20 years in the last five...

Also, that must be the cheapest button down shirt ever, unless Lucas is going to be in a remake of Saturday night fever, most modern people prefer a collar that doesn't jut out at a 90° angle

 

[VoidFace]

Russell Greer is cow number 2 for me. He is just as autistic and narcissistic. Although, he isn't fat. He and Lucas have lots in common. Rusty does more outlandish things like trying to sue celebrities instead of chimping out in the streets.

If you start with Rusty Greer, there is lots to learn about. I gotta check out some of these other cows. Lucas was how I found out about Kiwi Farms. I learned about him after seeing the national news report about the Starbucks incident and how he had a website about age gap love. Then I uncovered all the lunacy and Islamic content that he puts out and there was no going back.

I’ve looked into Rat Face a little, and I can definitely see the potential in him, but he lacks a certain…homelessly screaming under a bridge about Stalin, quality hahaha.

But I’ll drive more into Russell, he definitely seems like a quality cow.

 

[Da Dude123]

It's because they are catfish, Lucas. They always are and always will be, you dumb cow!