Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[IceQueen]

Something I’ve been wondering about a lot lately is what Lucas would be like if Suzanne never existed (or he hadn’t known her). I really think that Lucas having had ONE real relationship with someone who actually cared about him is a big part of why the delusion that he’s plenty good for another human being is so engrained in his mind.

Don’t get me wrong, I think he would still be a delusional, entitled sack of shit even without Suzanne, but I think he would be less confident about it. We all know that Lucas conflates minor encounters and dates with women into entire relationships, and I feel like part of why his subconscious mind is able to do so is because he DID have a real relationship once, so it’s easier for him to believe a chick on ecstasy who danced topless in the same room as him at a party is an “ex girlfriend”. It’s for this same reason that he’s been able to convince himself that he’s dated “every age range” besides Gen Z even though he absolutely has not.

Like I said I do NOT think the delusions would cease to exist if he had never had a real relationship, but I do think they would be less strong and ever present. I feel like we would get more of the sobbing in the night videos in that case, because reality would break through in his mind more often than it does currently.

 

[Da Dude123]

Don't give this fat autist money. You know he is just gonna spend it on Venom energy drinks. Why don't you knock it off? He still thinks this mystery girl is going to help him write a resume. She won't. She is a catfish, plain and simple.

 

[SteveGoatman]

Don't give this fat autist money. You know he is just gonna spend it on Venom energy drinks. Why don't you knock it off? He still thinks this mystery girl is going to help him write a resume. She won't. She is a catfish, plain and simple. View attachment 3238311View attachment 3238312

I like how the resume thing is what's stopping him from getting a job. Just like a lack of an ID was keeping him going to the bars and getting Gen Z baes, or a million other hurdles he's created and don't really exist.

Also, the kind of jobs he could possibly get generally aren't really expecting a polished resume (or a resume at all). I would guess most are just "fill out these blanks on the form" kind of deals. Even if you did need a resume, there are a MILLION examples online. Pick one and copy it.

 

[Stinkyboy]

No one will hire a greasy smelly bum.
Why bother with a CV?

 

[Fatal Walter]

Ride out his final years? Jesus, I know he called himself the cute older daddy but he's only 42. I guess he's being realistic about things like most people in this thread. I have trouble seeing him make it to 55 like he said he would.

 

[Da Dude123]

Ride out his final years? Jesus, I know he called himself the cute older daddy but he's only 42. I guess he's being realistic about things like most people in this thread. I have trouble seeing him make it to 55 like he said he would.
View attachment 3239144

This was when he was mooing all the time about telomeres and how between 35 and 55 is when the sperm is most plenty good. He hasn't said much about telomeres lately. I think his latest cow post is implying that capitalism will destroy the world soon. Of course, as much as Lucas mooos about capitalism, he thinks grubhub and doordash is the best thing ever.

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

Ride out his final years? Jesus, I know he called himself the cute older daddy but he's only 42. I guess he's being realistic about things like most people in this thread. I have trouble seeing him make it to 55 like he said he would.
View attachment 3239144

Another oblique suicide threat.

**Yawn**

Lucas, for suicide threats to have any manipulative power, people actually have to care whether you live or die.

And we all know you are far too much in love with yourself to ever cause yourself any physical harm, let alone suicide. The past 5 years have proven that you exclusively use these sorts of threats to attempt to force people into giving you things that you can't obtain by any normal adult means, such as housing, and girlfriends.

It's not going to work, Buddy...

 

[Jeep1971]

Something I’ve been wondering about a lot lately is what Lucas would be like if Suzanne never existed (or he hadn’t known her). I really think that Lucas having had ONE real relationship with someone who actually cared about him is a big part of why the delusion that he’s plenty good for another human being is so engrained in his mind.

Don’t get me wrong, I think he would still be a delusional, entitled sack of shit even without Suzanne, but I think he would be less confident about it. We all know that Lucas conflates minor encounters and dates with women into entire relationships, and I feel like part of why his subconscious mind is able to do so is because he DID have a real relationship once, so it’s easier for him to believe a chick on ecstasy who danced topless in the same room as him at a party is an “ex girlfriend”. It’s for this same reason that he’s been able to convince himself that he’s dated “every age range” besides Gen Z even though he absolutely has not.

Like I said I do NOT think the delusions would cease to exist if he had never had a real relationship, but I do think they would be less strong and ever present. I feel like we would get more of the sobbing in the night videos in that case, because reality would break through in his mind more often than it does currently.

From my position, I think Myrna instilled that entitled attitude in him from day one by telling him he was "special" and better than everyone else in his peer group.
Suzanne or no, he'd still be that way.


I personally think that he has a secret Oedipal complex that he tries to deny to himself by attempting to date the other end of the range,barely legal. That he secretly wants a "mommy".

 

[Trainwreck]

I love that he is blasting it all over that he needs help with his resume of his 1 employer 20 years ago. He is truly incapable of doing even the smallest task that even a teenager can complete with zero assistance.

 

[Broadside]

And we all know you are far too much in love with yourself to ever cause yourself any physical harm, let alone suicide.

Boy, if this doesn't sum up so many cows...

 

[Ultrapenguin]

I like how the resume thing is what's stopping him from getting a job. Just like a lack of an ID was keeping him going to the bars and getting Gen Z baes, or a million other hurdles he's created and don't really exist.

He has to make those hurdles because he doesn't actually want anything. He imagines he wants things, but much like with the "girlfriend" he doesn't actually want a girlfriend, since there is nothing he could do with a girlfriend, aside from hoping she'll treat him like an infant and give him yet another person to blame for any time he isn't happy.

It's sort of like that old thing about dogs that chase cars and wondering what exactly the dog plans to do with it once it catches it, and the answer is: nothing. They don't have any long term plans, individuals like Lucas are driven by instinct to chase things, like all people, however because he's an unbelievably coddled fucking retard the only things he knows to chase are the most shallow possible options and the only way he knows to obtain them is by...mostly just whining and hoping they appear, I guess.

This is existence for people like Lucas, they are like baby birds that will lay around chirping with their mouths open until people stop dropping stuff in there. They are the living embodiment of entropy that simply exist and consume, they are human in a biological sense only, they do not know what they want, they do not have actual thoughts and feelings. They are simply an odd form of cancerous tumor that has arisen due to a hitherto uncommon bodily imbalance, in this case from the excesses of society combined with social fragmentation.

TL;DR: This guy is a fucking retard and will always suck the maximum allowed amount in every situation until he dies.

 

[Da Dude123]

The tugboat has arrived in port and Lucas spent it right away on a burrito! Because of course he did
!

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

The tugboat has arrived in port and Lucas spent it right away on a burrito! Because of course he did
!View attachment 3241350

Someone else pointed it out, but it's funny how he can't help but take a bite of his food before he takes a picture of it. It's like, he literally has no self-control.

Does everyone remember when he was sitting in his room at Mallon with the jar of peanut butter, sticking his creepy hands in it and sucking it off his fingers? He said he wasn't going to eat any more of it, and he physically moved the jar of peanut butter to get it out of his line of sight. Like, he shut the jar in a desk drawer. Outta sight, outta mind, right?

Less than 2 minutes later, he'd gotten the jar back out and was eating it again. He finished it in its entirety, of course. All in one sitting.

He has never once, not one single time to my knowledge, complained about being full, or the uncomfortable sensation of feeling too full, the whole "eyes are bigger than stomach" trope.

Ya boi's a bottomless pit, yo

 

[ManfromtheMoon]

From my position, I think Myrna instilled that entitled attitude in him from day one by telling him he was "special" and better than everyone else in his peer group.
Suzanne or no, he'd still be that way.


I personally think that he has a secret Oedipal complex that he tries to deny to himself by attempting to date the other end of the range,barely legal. That he secretly wants a "mommy".

I feel Lucas might return home after Roy's gone and take care of his mother

 

[mothman96]

I feel Lucas might return home after Roy's gone and take care of his mother

I don't think the Creep's stepmom would want him to move in.

 

[Jeep1971]

He has to make those hurdles because he doesn't actually want anything. He imagines he wants things, but much like with the "girlfriend" he doesn't actually want a girlfriend, since there is nothing he could do with a girlfriend, aside from hoping she'll treat him like an infant and give him yet another person to blame for any time he isn't happy.

It's sort of like that old thing about dogs that chase cars and wondering what exactly the dog plans to do with it once it catches it, and the answer is: nothing. They don't have any long term plans, individuals like Lucas are driven by instinct to chase things, like all people, however because he's an unbelievably coddled fucking retard the only things he knows to chase are the most shallow possible options and the only way he knows to obtain them is by...mostly just whining and hoping they appear, I guess.

This is existence for people like Lucas, they are like baby birds that will lay around chirping with their mouths open until people stop dropping stuff in there. They are the living embodiment of entropy that simply exist and consume, they are human in a biological sense only, they do not know what they want, they do not have actual thoughts and feelings. They are simply an odd form of cancerous tumor that has arisen due to a hitherto uncommon bodily imbalance, in this case from the excesses of society combined with social fragmentation.

TL;DR: This guy is a fucking retard and will always suck the maximum allowed amount in every situation until he dies.

He consumes way more than he gives back to the universe.

Edit to add:
Look up " Gustatory" on Google and the phrase "gustatory delight" is given as an example of how to use the word.

He doesn't know these big words. He hears it,googled it and viola, smart upper class ranch heir.

 

[Cow-Lovin' Fool]

He consumes way more than he gives back to the universe.

Edit to add:
Look up " Gustatory" on Google and the phrase "gustatory delight" is given as an example of how to use the word.

He doesn't know these big words. He hears it,googled it and viola, smart upper class ranch heir.

The branded Pepsi cup makes a great ironic touch during this recent frenzy of commieposting.

 

[mothman96]

The Creep would have been truthful if he'd said he scrolls Facebook for underage girls.

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

Awww...the cheese sticks weren't even gooey enough! **pouts** What a little bitch

 

[Blasterisk]

View attachment 3248030

View attachment 3248031
Awww...the cheese sticks weren't even gooey enough! **pouts** What a little bitch

I'm actually gonna agree with The Wern on this one, if they're not hot enough to melt the cheese (or the filling isn't cheese enough to melt!) mozzarella sticks are terrible.

Unlike Lucas, though, I know not to eat food I don't like.