Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[WonderWino]

It is my feeling that Lucas’s health problems have reoriented his outlook and priorities.

I suspect its put him into something of a depression and may have forced him to pay (a tiny bit) more attention to his health, but I doubt his actual outlook or his priorities have truly changed. He still very clearly has the same attitude he always has, even if he's not screaming on video about it - just look at the posts he made: same entitlement and narcissism he's always had. Lucas is a creature of habit. If he's not doing something he has a history of doing its because he can't. I wouldn't be the least bit surprised to find out his lack of activities is due to only two things: health related depression and more importantly a lack of money to go anywhere and do anything. Hence why he's gotten so into trying to push merchandise. He has far less money now than he ever did in the past

Sure, he still spergs about zoomer baes not wanting to fuck him and the evils of capitalism on FB but I don’t think he has the strength or the will to make a spectacle of himself on the streets of Spokane anymore.

Kind of makes me sad. Feel like this is the end of an era. There was no cow quite as fascinating as the Wern in his prime.

I am still gonna hold out for one final glorious flame out thought. Fingers crossed, fellow Wernologists.

Give it time and don't lose faith in the lord of telomeres and earl of elkdom. He'll find himself in a position where he figures he has nothing to lose and get angry at the world, believing he's owed what he wants and won't go to his grave without at least one last attempt to get it. He's already starting to escalate things with his entitlement, attempts to get more money and pulling shit with his roommate. That behavior won't stop until it comes back to bite him in the ass - and fucking with his roommate absolutely will. It always does with him

 

[Amewsed]

Someone should ask him for photos or his feet.

'Was having trouble with my modem'
'Got a new phone'

Those two things don't compute. That explanation doesn't make any sense, so yeah he's lying. His modem (which he doesn't have, as he doesn't have a computer or anything else that has a need for any kind of modem) would not be affecting his phone, and if he had such a problem getting a new phone wouldn't fix it. a fucked wifi point would mean no internet, but there would be more than one of them in his building and he would simply be able to go to mcdonalds or whatever that has free wifi and use his phone. He absolutely would have done this given his greed and birthday coming up at the time, if he had been able

So no, lucas is not telling the truth. He's lying and as always he's doing it to hide something. Lucas, being too stupid to understand technology, just throws some terms together he's heard in a way that doesn't make sense and outs himself as a liar yet again

I'm calling it, he's covering up the fact he was in the hospital


Didn't he start posting stuff that looked like cp and got banned for it and a bunch of shit got deleted? Might be why you can't find i

Didn't see this posted here:

Via The Lucas Werner Broke Posting/Ebegging page.
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Well then you truly have earned the name 'Lumiere Dètard.'

Your 4k followers are only there for the show.

What a delusional buffalopotamus.

 

[Krathnami]

Gotta wholeheartedly agree. This version of Lucas is so unremarkable as to almost not be worth continuing to document. Almost.

If this version of Lucas was the only Lucas known to us, this thread would be in the Prospering Grounds being debated as to whether he was a cow worthy of a thread or not.

It is my feeling that Lucas’s health problems have reoriented his outlook and priorities.

Sure, he still spergs about zoomer baes not wanting to fuck him and the evils of capitalism on FB but I don’t think he has the strength or the will to make a spectacle of himself on the streets of Spokane anymore.

Kind of makes me sad. Feel like this is the end of an era. There was no cow quite as fascinating as the Wern in his prime.

I am still gonna hold out for one final glorious flame out thought. Fingers crossed, fellow Wernologists.

I don’t even remember the last time he talked about telomeres/telomerase and his magic sperm that can cure cancer. Now he’s all about trying to guilt trip people into feeling sorry for him/sending him money/yeeting him a bae, and it fucking sucks man.

 

[WonderWino]

I don’t even remember the last time he talked about telomeres/telomerase and his magic sperm that can cure cancer. Now he’s all about trying to guilt trip people into feeling sorry for him/sending him money/yeeting him a bae, and it fucking sucks man.

Its still bouncing around in his lizard brain. After all his merchandise included a tshirt with the picture of that fertility timeline he stole off of google. So he's still trying to push it, and probably intended people to ask him about it so he could rant about his 'research' as one of the reasons for adding it to his merchandise

 

[Twrx]

Its still bouncing around in his lizard brain. After all his merchandise included a tshirt with the picture of that fertility timeline he stole off of google. So he's still trying to push it, and probably intended people to ask him about it so he could rant about his 'research' as one of the reasons for adding it to his merchandise

I'm surprised we haven't heard him reeeing about demanding payment for the time it took him to Google the image and download it.

 

[WonderWino]

So I came across this article about the infamous starbucks incident. Nothing worth mentioning in the article that hasn't already come up a hundred times, I just thought its worth mentioning because of the fucking hilarious picture the author chose to headline the article

Man Banned From Starbucks For Flirting With Teen Barista, Claims Ageism | iHeart

He thinks it had to be age discrimination because they are both consenting adults. | iHeart

www.iheart.com

Very obvious implication that lucas is a dirty old man going after little girls. Lucas would be absolutely furious at that picture

Also:

 

[Twrx]

Does he still call himself a scientist on Facebook?

 

[Stafford Beer Bong]

Does he still call himself a scientist on Facebook?

He should.

His 2,000 page PhD thesis on age gap breeding must be close to completion at this point, right?

 

[DancesWithGuatos]

Could you imagine Lucas in knight's armor ?

 

[WonderWino]

Could you imagine Lucas in knight's armor ?

It would be much like that giant suit of armor henry VIII had made when he got morbidly obese. I would not want to be the squire responsible for getting lucas into a suit of armor like that, let alone taking it off of him. He'd probably shit himself in it and wander around spokane like that all day

Thats one knight in shining armor no zoomer bae damsel in distress wants to see waddling up to the tower they're locked up in. and I do mean waddling, as between the weight of the armor and his obese carcass and smell, theres no horse that could possibly carry him anywhere

 

[Amewsed]

He should.

His 2,000 page PhD thesis on age gap breeding must be close to completion at this point, right?

You have to remember, this level of science will take up to 20 years for Lucas to complete to earn his PhD, and thus, create superhumans with his mrsa micropeen spooge.

 

[SteveGoatman]

It would be much like that giant suit of armor henry VIII had made when he got morbidly obese. I would not want to be the squire responsible for getting lucas into a suit of armor like that, let alone taking it off of him. He'd probably shit himself in it and wander around spokane like that all day

Thats one knight in shining armor no zoomer bae damsel in distress wants to see wa

Also, this fits perfectly with Lucas' whole "descended from German Kings" fetish that occasionally pops up inbetween his other manic bouts. That persona is always a favorite of mind because its SO preposterous and, unlike his other activities, ultimately harmless.

 

[DancesWithGuatos]

Lucas is so beautiful, so sensual, so precious. I'd like to whisper love in his ear at night before licking the cove of his ear. I'd like to tongue his anus playfully.

 

[Jeremiah the Bullfrog]

Lucas is so beautiful, so sensual, so precious. I'd like to whisper love in his ear at night before licking the cove of his ear. I'd like to tongue his anus playfully.

That's a mental image I really didn't need.

 

[Krathnami]

Lucas is so beautiful, so sensual, so precious. I'd like to whisper love in his ear at night before licking the cove of his ear. I'd like to tongue his anus playfully.

Shut the fuck up faggot

 

[Amewsed]

Lucas is so beautiful, so sensual, so precious. I'd like to whisper love in his ear at night before licking the cove of his ear. I'd like to tongue his anus playfully.

What's up Lucas?

 

[Duke Nukem]

It's better than the captain crunch ramen war crime.

I know this is Lucas we're talking about but how do you even consider doing something like this? Even for Wern food this one is seriously baffling.

Generic oinking from Lucas tonight. I don’t think he’s had a major psychiatric episode for the last few weeks, he seems to be on the same wavelength as a month ago. Maybe he drove the last guy to a meltdown and that caused the internet disruption.
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Typical political junkie, keeps forgetting that "left" and "right" are purely subjective. As if you wouldn't be a billionaire if you had a choice in the matter.

At least under capitalism I can buy all the shitty products I want with my minimum wage fast food job. At least as many as will fit on my meager paycheck.

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He doesn't realize that we would be more controlled by the government through total socialism. Everybody would only be able to work jobs and spend money that are approved by the government, instead of choosing by ourselves through free will and the free market.

I have a feeling Lucas would be okay with this. As long as he's in charge of the government and/or not forced to get a job. But to be fair we already have some form of "socialism" aka the government licking the stamps for millions of people without a second thought, particularly for fat fucks like Lucas.

 

[WonderWino]

Edit to add: It’s also possible that Lucas had done this previously before age 18 and was either never charged or charges were sealed. But the DUI was a landmark case as it was Washington State’s first DUI for Cannabis.

This is the link I found for a story about it, though they get the date of the court date wrong. It was Jan 1999 that it went to court then retried in April.

cannabisnews.com: A landmark DUI case

edit again to not double post: here’s what I found in Greedy Greedy SOFALAW. It does make me wonder if the bonfire/brush fire truck setting incident was separate to the DUI. Like, how many times can you suck that bad at driving? And does that mean he drove the truck into a fire while sober? Bc, wow. That’s worse.

Older post but somehow missed it earlier. Aside from the obvious lies lucas is telling here, like the stuff about what he was doing in 2000 - 2004 (which per his 2010 reflections he was a zoned out zombie and doesn't really remember any of it beyond being so drugged out of his mind he was reduced to shitting in bushes like an animal), here we see some obviously made up 'girlfriends' of lucas's past. Some gina woman that clearly wanted nothing to do with lucas, somebody named amanda lucas claims to have 'fooled around with on the couch' while her boyfriend was asleep on lucas's couch (yeah, sure, that totally happened i'm sure) that got him a beating and resulted in them moving out because 'she told him' - which really doesn't make sense in the context of supposedly going behind his back only to immediately tell him. Let alone to 'make up afterwards' yet move out as a result. Lucas can't put together a scenario that makes any sense at all. Its much more likely the boyfriend was asleep on the couch, lucas made a pass at her, creeped her out and she told the boyfriend, resulting in lucas getting his ass beat and them moving out

Theres also the fact he's telling a different version of his high school graduation here, having supposedly graduated in 2000 - which by his own admission never happened as he 'didn't quite have all his credits' not to mention this would have been when he was living with cyril and working at mcdonalds. If he had somehow graduated this would have been known to SCC and they wouldn't have put him in the idiot classes for those who didn't graduate. I wonder if lucas getting banned from the class trip to europe had something to do with him not graduating with his class and therefore not qualifying to go on the trip

and of course even back then he was living in some shithole surrounded by senior citizens. Must have been a preview of his time at mallon place

But the biggest admission here is lucas flat out says he developed a habit of snorting ritalin and used to hear animals talking to him. No fucking wonder he ended up in the nuthouse doped to the fucking gills, he was dropping acid, snorting ritalin, stealing his parents alcohol when he could and was doing all this while a bipolar schizophrenic and hearing animals talk to him. I bet some of those hospital stays were addiction to ritalin related. Either taking too much or not having the money to feed his habit and going through withdrawal. It figures with all lucas's rants about 'heroin and meth' everybody around him supposedly takes that he'd be a former ritalin snorting junkie himself. He always projects his behavior on others. Always. He probably thinks he's better than them because he 'beat his addiction' (that he'd never admit to ever having i'm sure) by being locked up in a hospital

I wonder what his fartbox with the seniors at 'casa madrona apartments' was like. Probably a fixed low rent shithole for destitute seniors on social security

 

[Twrx]

Older post but somehow missed it earlier. Aside from the obvious lies lucas is telling here, like the stuff about what he was doing in 2000 - 2004 (which per his 2010 reflections he was a zoned out zombie and doesn't really remember any of it beyond being so drugged out of his mind he was reduced to shitting in bushes like an animal), here we see some obviously made up 'girlfriends' of lucas's past. Some gina woman that clearly wanted nothing to do with lucas, somebody named amanda lucas claims to have 'fooled around with on the couch' while her boyfriend was asleep on lucas's couch (yeah, sure, that totally happened i'm sure) that got him a beating and resulted in them moving out because 'she told him' - which really doesn't make sense in the context of supposedly going behind his back only to immediately tell him. Let alone to 'make up afterwards' yet move out as a result. Lucas can't put together a scenario that makes any sense at all. Its much more likely the boyfriend was asleep on the couch, lucas made a pass at her, creeped her out and she told the boyfriend, resulting in lucas getting his ass beat and them moving out

Theres also the fact he's telling a different version of his high school graduation here, having supposedly graduated in 2000 - which by his own admission never happened as he 'didn't quite have all his credits' not to mention this would have been when he was living with cyril and working at mcdonalds. If he had somehow graduated this would have been known to SCC and they wouldn't have put him in the idiot classes for those who didn't graduate. I wonder if lucas getting banned from the class trip to europe had something to do with him not graduating with his class and therefore not qualifying to go on the trip

and of course even back then he was living in some shithole surrounded by senior citizens. Must have been a preview of his time at mallon place

But the biggest admission here is lucas flat out says he developed a habit of snorting ritalin and used to hear animals talking to him. No fucking wonder he ended up in the nuthouse doped to the fucking gills, he was dropping acid, snorting ritalin, stealing his parents alcohol when he could and was doing all this while a bipolar schizophrenic and hearing animals talk to him. I bet some of those hospital stays were addiction to ritalin related. Either taking too much or not having the money to feed his habit and going through withdrawal. It figures with all lucas's rants about 'heroin and meth' everybody around him supposedly takes that he'd be a former ritalin snorting junkie himself. He always projects his behavior on others. Always. He probably thinks he's better than them because he 'beat his addiction' (that he'd never admit to ever having i'm sure) by being locked up in a hospital

I wonder what his fartbox with the seniors at 'casa madrona apartments' was like. Probably a fixed low rent shithole for destitute seniors on social security

It'll never happen, but I'd love to know the truth about the bonfire. Along with why his dad didn't bury him in the elk kingdom right then.

 

[WonderWino]

It'll never happen, but I'd love to know the truth about the bonfire. Along with why his dad didn't bury him in the elk kingdom right then.

Indeed, I don't think it was lucas talking his way out of that, it was likely his dad knowing lucas is an utter moron and losing his shit on him wouldn't do any good. His parents must have had serious patience when he was growing up, he's lucky he didn't end up in some kind of kids institution

and I noticed one of the screenshots his brother said lucas 'wanted to be a firefighter type' at one point, which is another red flag pointing to his having a fascination with fire and burning shit. It explains alot of his odd behavior involving fire and burning things. Its a small wonder he never burned his fartbox down