Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[Vi0l3t]

Lucas is so beautiful, so sensual, so precious. I'd like to whisper love in his ear at night before licking the cove of his ear. I'd like to tongue his anus playfully.

Do it, enjoy your tongue instantly killing itself.

 

[Da Dude123]

What is going on with the cow? We haven't seen any new content lately. The jerk had to go and privatize his Facebook and now it is harder to spy on him. Anyone have anything new the mooo cow has put out online?

 

[VoidFace]

What is going on with the cow? We haven't seen any new content lately. The jerk had to go and privatize his Facebook and now it is harder to spy on him. Anyone have anything new the mooo cow has put out online?

More board game sperging he just posted. I haven't gotten very far into it yet, but he's got the shakes pretty bad.

 

[Duke Nukem]

AHAHAHAAHA
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Is he trying to go for a Jedi look here or something? To be honest he'd probably make even Jar Jar Binks disgusted with his obnoxious behavior.

I'm surprised we haven't heard him reeeing about demanding payment for the time it took him to Google the image and download it.

I think someone bought a few things from his crappy "store?" Oh great they're just like the Chris "trolls."

I don’t even remember the last time he talked about telomeres/telomerase and his magic sperm that can cure cancer. Now he’s all about trying to guilt trip people into feeling sorry for him/sending him money/yeeting him a bae, and it fucking sucks man.

As I said it seems all the great lolcows are fading into history. It stinks but that's how it goes sometimes.

So I came across this article about the infamous starbucks incident. Nothing worth mentioning in the article that hasn't already come up a hundred times, I just thought its worth mentioning because of the fucking hilarious picture the author chose to headline the article

Man Banned From Starbucks For Flirting With Teen Barista, Claims Ageism | iHeart

He thinks it had to be age discrimination because they are both consenting adults. | iHeart

www.iheart.com

Very obvious implication that lucas is a dirty old man going after little girls. Lucas would be absolutely furious at that picture

Also:
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Lucas seems the type of person who would steal panties from underage girls to "enjoy" in private. Unsurprising considering he's grosser than your average incel, although not quite as gross as Nick Bate was (at least before prison, maybe they forced him to shower once in a while?).

 

[WonderWino]

Another autistic playthrough of that shitshow he calls a game

 

[Duke Nukem]

Another autistic playthrough of that shitshow he calls a game

I honestly have no idea what I'm looking at but it looks like a Risk map if it were drawn up by a crackhead. Of course Lucas is too stupid to understand the concept of such a game.

 

[ManfromtheMoon]

I feel lucas ain't going back to his manic rage mode again. I feel like a big factor to him getting riled up is his jealousy on couples, specificly him loitering around down town watching people socialize specifically men and women being together

 

[WonderWino]

I wonder if lucas got the idea for the vague risk shaped board from when his dad played risk with him as a kid (he mentions it in that horribly written letter he sent lucas in response to a game he was sent a few years back)

Lucas playing risk must have been quite the sight. He's too stupid NOW to understand anything as abstract as the concept of basic strategy. Considering how hyperfocused he is on dice based systems he may have picked that up from risk. I mean his brain latched onto 'complicated = good, dice = good' and someone as stupid as him could have drawn those conclusions from a childs understanding of a game like risk. God help him (and us for having to witness whatever insanity he came up with in future games as a result) if he ever discovers the hearts of iron series

I still wonder what those scrabble games lucas likes to brag about his father being an expert at were really like, considering he demonstrated spelling abilities on par with a second grader at best in that letter he wrote lucas

 

[WhiskerBiscuit]

I feel lucas ain't going back to his manic rage mode again. I feel like a big factor to him getting riled up is his jealousy on couples, specificly him loitering around down town watching people socialize specifically men and women being together

This.

In the last 5 years, we saw the golden era of WernWatching.

Currently he posts mildly objectionable food, dumb philosophical and socialist propaganda that is purely nonsensical, and does the Facebook version of panhandling for money or women. It’s all a much more watered down mainstream version of his more famous exploits.

I join others in agreeing that we have lost this cow. He’s no longer physically able to do the crazy rant videos walking around Spokane. He won’t be able to get anywhere to post on poles for his fecund lover. He doesn’t even live-stream from a fart box naked with a grease stain behind him.

Moment of silence from me for lost lols.

 

[cigarettesalsa]

Can someone please post a picture of one of the Lucas telephone pole rants I've been looking for. Went through the thread but I can't track it down. It's this gigantic ramble about zoomer baes and how he can win them over with just one word. The last line of the manifesto is
"And that word is nigga"

I still think about it and laugh.

 

[Plague Flea]

Can someone please post a picture of one of the Lucas telephone pole rants I've been looking for. Went through the thread but I can't track it down. It's this gigantic ramble about zoomer baes and how he can win them over with just one word. The last line of the manifesto is
"And that word is nigga"

I still think about it and laugh.

Original post is here.

 

[PoopyFarts]

Hey all. I'm looking for a specific video of the wern. One where he gets mad and spits on his own phone.

If Money Don't Get The Honies

youtu.be

The end of this is classic. Lucas threatens to punch the screen, to knock someone out in the chat, thinks better of it, and spits on his own phone.

Outburst starts at 1:50:35

IMHO it's the funniest Lucas content in the past 6 months.

Edit:. Lucas's posture in these recent podcasts from the Mallon House is hysterical. The way he cranes his head forward, as if he has to rest his eyeballs on the screen to be able to read it, and sits there with his mouth open, makes him look even more retarded than he actually is. And that's saying quite a bit...

It was posted earlier in the thread, but the link here now only says 'video not available'. Was wondering if anybody had another link or archive? This is a classic and I'd like to laugh at it again.

 

[Fanatical Pragmatist]

somebody named amanda lucas claims to have 'fooled around with on the couch' while her boyfriend was asleep on lucas's couch (yeah, sure, that totally happened i'm sure) that got him a beating and resulted in them moving out because 'she told him' - which really doesn't make sense in the context of supposedly going behind his back only to immediately tell him. Let alone to 'make up afterwards' yet move out as a result. Lucas can't put together a scenario that makes any sense at all. Its much more likely the boyfriend was asleep on the couch, lucas made a pass at her, creeped her out and she told the boyfriend, resulting in lucas getting his ass beat and them moving out.

He probably though they were both asleep and tried to "fool around" with her, which resulted in Lucas getting his ass beat.

Considering Lucas's other writings about his fantasies of having drunk/stoned girls on his couch, and his insistent revisionist ability to embellish past situations where he was 100% a perverted creep, I wouldn't put it past him.

I wonder if lucas got the idea for the vague risk shaped board from when his dad played risk with him as a kid (he mentions it in that horribly written letter he sent lucas in response to a game he was sent a few years back)

I think a lot of his games are inspired by Settlers of Catan; especially with the different tiles representing different resources.

Of course, its Lucas, so he doesn't understand the actual concept of quality artwork or actual usable resources (recall the one game he made where "cheesecake" was a collectible resource?)

This.

In the last 5 years, we saw the golden era of WernWatching.

Currently he posts mildly objectionable food, dumb philosophical and socialist propaganda that is purely nonsensical, and does the Facebook version of panhandling for money or women. It’s all a much more watered down mainstream version of his more famous exploits.

I join others in agreeing that we have lost this cow. He’s no longer physically able to do the crazy rant videos walking around Spokane. He won’t be able to get anywhere to post on poles for his fecund lover. He doesn’t even live-stream from a fart box naked with a grease stain behind him.

Moment of silence from me for lost lols.

This implies Lucas will be able to keep his current fartbox or die before he gets kicked out.
Which given Lucas's track record of housing is

 

[WonderWino]

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Original post is here.

Too bad lucas didn't post a few copies of that in compton during his LA trip. Him getting surrounded by a bunch of compton gang bangers putting up signs like that would have made for quite the deserved beat down

Then again they'd have probably killed him

This implies Lucas will be able to keep his current fartbox or die before he gets kicked out.
Which given Lucas's track record of housing is

Given that he's already getting too comfortable, starting shit with his roommate over freezer space and calling the cops multiple times making shit up trying to get him hauled off to the nuthouse its only a matter of time before he escalates it enough to get in shit over it. Lucas getting too comfortable in an apartment has never ended well for him

 

[Jeanette Voerman]

Spergout in progress!

 

[WonderWino]

Spergout in progress!

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Even by lucas standards that was condescending, ignorant and absurdly stupid

He literally just told somebody who was explaining that he works even when things are bad so his woman and kids are fed and provided for to tell her to get a job, with the implication its totally not on him to make sure they're ok. Says the guy who spazzes out when told to get a job himself so he can buy what he wants and who has literally stated that its the governments responsibility to provide for him on multiple occasions. and of course he's too stupid, narcissistic and lacking in self awareness to see how entitled, greedy and in the context of the discussion, abusive toward his hypothetical family what he's saying is

He likes to rant like a loon about capitalism but even under the most communist of communist societies people have to work and provide for themselves, or they don't eat or have any place to live and society would simply not function. That is a universal truth no matter what the particular form of government is, or even if there is one. He wants to talk about a lack of government in anarcho communism? Well our ancient hunter gatherer ancestors had no government or 'jobs' or rich people either and they still had to work their asses off just to survive. and frequently didn't

Its also quite clear in the first screenshot there he's not even understanding whats being said to him right from the start. Its clear that whole conversation started with somebody pointing out nobody wants a relationship - let alone kids , without the ability to provide even his own basic needs for himself. After all if he can't do that how can he raise kids? We all know lucas's answer will inevitably be 'the government will give me more money! and maybe a better place to live! it'll be fine bigot! my wife can work to if she has a problem with that!' which makes me wonder if being a creepy pedo wanting a daughter to molest is only half the reason he wants one and the other half is to exploit said kid to try to force the government to provide him with more money and housing. In a sense, holding the kids well being hostage to get what he wants in the same way he does with himself and his own health. Likely too stupid to figure out in such a scenario CPS would simply remove the kid from his custody and very likely have him charged with something if he tried anything like that

and of course, pointing out he has no idea what he is talking about is 'talking shit about him' and he claims he's some kind of victim

He's angry again, and every bit of that is going to build and seethe until he has his inevitable full on spergout as he always does. The wern is still very much alive inside of him and will work its way to the surface eventually

 

[Jeanette Voerman]

Even by lucas standards that was condescending, ignorant and absurdly stupid

He literally just told somebody who was explaining that he works even when things are bad so his woman and kids are fed and provided for to tell her to get a job, with the implication its totally not on him to make sure they're ok. Says the guy who spazzes out when told to get a job himself so he can buy what he wants and who has literally stated that its the governments responsibility to provide for him on multiple occasions. and of course he's too stupid, narcissistic and lacking in self awareness to see how entitled, greedy and in the context of the discussion, abusive toward his hypothetical family what he's saying is

He likes to rant like a loon about capitalism but even under the most communist of communist societies people have to work and provide for themselves, or they don't eat or have any place to live and society would simply not function. That is a universal truth no matter what the particular form of government is, or even if there is one. He wants to talk about a lack of government in anarcho communism? Well our ancient hunter gatherer ancestors had no government or 'jobs' or rich people either and they still had to work their asses off just to survive. and frequently didn't

Its also quite clear in the first screenshot there he's not even understanding whats being said to him right from the start. Its clear that whole conversation started with somebody pointing out nobody wants a relationship - let alone kids , without the ability to provide even his own basic needs for himself. After all if he can't do that how can he raise kids? We all know lucas's answer will inevitably be 'the government will give me more money! and maybe a better place to live! it'll be fine bigot! my wife can work to if she has a problem with that!' which makes me wonder if being a creepy pedo wanting a daughter to molest is only half the reason he wants one and the other half is to exploit said kid to try to force the government to provide him with more money and housing. In a sense, holding the kids well being hostage to get what he wants in the same way he does with himself and his own health. Likely too stupid to figure out in such a scenario CPS would simply remove the kid from his custody and very likely have him charged with something if he tried anything like that

and of course, pointing out he has no idea what he is talking about is 'talking shit about him' and he claims he's some kind of victim

He's angry again, and every bit of that is going to build and seethe until he has his inevitable full on spergout as he always does. The wern is still very much alive inside of him and will work its way to the surface eventually

What gets me is him insisting the women who want a financially stable partner are shallow, but he isn't shallow for exclusively wanting to date teenagers. At least the former relates to survival. The latter is just his inability to get a hard dick for anyone old enough to drink, and his desire to make that everyone else's problem.

 

[Club Sandwich]

the phrasing is two-fold: he's offended that he's being asked to provide for his own financial stability, and further, he's doubly offended that some women want their partner to be financially stable. it's an important distinction that both are offensive to him. this doesn't even touch on the willful contradiction of wanting the government to provide for him and his theoretical wife/child but also the refusal that he should need to contribute to that government/society to make it functional. this magical thinking of glossing over the specific mechanical details of how that sort of system would logically work is a very "Lucas" thing as even in his fevered dreams the only specifics are using violence to seize things (and of course no consideration that violence could be used against him) as well as the belief he's part of some sort of protected class (or at least one that isn't "too dumb to live, so the excess wealth of a capitalist economy with some social safety net allows him to live").

 

[BPD Gunt Rider]

He's angry again, and every bit of that is going to build and seethe until he has his inevitable full on spergout as he always does. The wern is still very much alive inside of him and will work its way to the surface eventually

That rage will always be inside The Wern, but he's a fat rotting corpse now. He's defeated and not even trying to find his zoomer bae. The only things he can fight over now are the hypocrisy of his greedy capitalist screeds. All we can hope for is that Lucas is forced back into homelessness before he's too broken down.

 

[ManfromtheMoon]

anyone know the podcast where lucas cries like a bitch?