Looks that way. We'll see how far the Creeper goes.
Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks
- Thread starter SpacePanther
- Start date
Stinkyboy
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- May 22, 2021
WonderWino
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
Whoever made that meme is an idiot. The egg, seed and acorns are not chickens, flowers or trees. They contain the embryos that very much are those things. An embryo is absolutely a baby, a baby at an early state of development. Thats the entire point of an embryo. and he wonders why he failed remedial biology in college. Classes that I might add are supposed to be teaching exactly this kind of stuff at that level. I guess lucas was too busy eye fucking the running start teens in the class to pay attention that day
and her body is not your body? Excuse me? This is coming from the same guy who literally makes videos screaming in the street because he thinks other men are hoarding women and refuse to give him one. The very act of making that statement requires those men to have women who's bodies they own in a significant enough way to be able to give them to lucas. He talks so much like a predator its almost comical. Who was it who got kicked out of his last apartment trying to blackmail supposed drug dealers into giving them an underage girl to fuck again? Oh thats right, it was you lucas
and of course if any of this is pointed out to him he'll spaz out and get angry again
and i'd pay good money to watch lucas trying to bowl with an actual adult bowling ball. I can just imagine him doing his bizarre walk with his dead foot dragging up the alley holding the ball in a weird way and nearly falling over when he throws it. and then gutterballed it every time. He probably sat there and watched trying to not act confused at not understanding how the game works
That said, we know exactly who lucas would be at the bowling alley:
No doubt this is part of some low IQ plan to show zoomer baes he can take her on adventures and do things that don't involve just eating. Because zoomer baes totally love bowling. Is he going to waddle around some art exhibit trying to look smart and taking a bunch of pics of himself next?
Attractive Sexhaver
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Apr 12, 2021
Lucas plans to attract the zoomer babes by taking them to the Nickleodeons, and later they'll stop by the drug store and share a phosphate soda.
WonderWino
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
So i've had a boring morning and have been randomly watching youtube videos. I came across one with a bunch of people board gaming the napoleonic wars and quickly noticed the guy wearing this:
I was instantly reminded of lucas's recent resurrection of his rants about bigots finding their waterloo at his block button and thought this would be the perfect hoodie for him. Can you imagine him wearing that around town? No doubt he'd think it would impress the zoomer baes like the batman pantaloons. The perfect french officer regalia for one born to the elken throne. Bonus points if he started holding his hand at his stomach as if to imitate napoleon holding it in his shirt while waddling around town. Particularly if doing so while stuffing his face at clinkerdaggers. Perhaps he could roleplay one of those discharged wounded invalid soldiers begging for money on the streets. He's certainly close enough to that himself
I mean how could the zoomer baes turn him down dressed to the nines like that? He even has such a nice faux button down front and medalpinned ironed on his chest as a decal by king roy himself for exemplary service fighting bigotry. The only thing missing is an appropriate officers hat of the era and a marshals baton to slap down hobos and greybeards who try to swoop baes in front of him
How dare those bigot zoomer baes turn down marshal wern of the elk kingdom
I can just see him wearing it for long periods, getting it covered in food stains and mallon place staff doing their rounds to deliver meds asking where he is and being told the marshal is in his room ranting about teen girls again
He would of course need a second shirt for jamie. After all every marshal needs his trusty adjutant to bark orders at and wave his baton at when he doesn't get what he wants
I was instantly reminded of lucas's recent resurrection of his rants about bigots finding their waterloo at his block button and thought this would be the perfect hoodie for him. Can you imagine him wearing that around town? No doubt he'd think it would impress the zoomer baes like the batman pantaloons. The perfect french officer regalia for one born to the elken throne. Bonus points if he started holding his hand at his stomach as if to imitate napoleon holding it in his shirt while waddling around town. Particularly if doing so while stuffing his face at clinkerdaggers. Perhaps he could roleplay one of those discharged wounded invalid soldiers begging for money on the streets. He's certainly close enough to that himself
I mean how could the zoomer baes turn him down dressed to the nines like that? He even has such a nice faux button down front and medal
How dare those bigot zoomer baes turn down marshal wern of the elk kingdom
I can just see him wearing it for long periods, getting it covered in food stains and mallon place staff doing their rounds to deliver meds asking where he is and being told the marshal is in his room ranting about teen girls again
He would of course need a second shirt for jamie. After all every marshal needs his trusty adjutant to bark orders at and wave his baton at when he doesn't get what he wants
- Joined
- May 14, 2021
According to the Wern, his father apparently owns a massive property with roaming flocks of elk. And Lucas will obviously inherit it.
IIRC, he doesn't.
WonderWino
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
Part of it is lucas constantly referring to his father as king roy and the time he tried to impress people by claiming he was the descendent of ancient roman era germanic kings. That combined with lucas having a habit of trying to attract and impress zoomer baes by bringing up king roys 12 acres of land he inspects to inherit, which he points out has 'herds of majestic elk' pass through its 'verdant green fields' every year. Despite not being a hunter himself (nor legally permitted to own a firearm given his mental problems and multiple commitments to eastern state) he spent quite some time attempting to bribe a zoomer bae with claims that if one should date him and marry him it would be at said elk kingdom and there would be a large feast of elk in the couples honor and/or that he could bribe some other random person to yeet him a bae with promises that they themselves would be able to hunt the elk in a similar manner to lucas's attempts at bribing people with $100 if they give him numbers and gets a successful date out of it. Lucas being completely unaware this is entirely illegal on multiple levels, despite bragging that there would be thousands of pounds worth of meat that could be obtained out of the deal (or for feeding his zoomer bae as the case may be) despite again not being able to hunt them himself, so it shows how far ahead he actually thinks about things. This all got combined together into the werns mythology as the elk kingdom of king roy, with elk feasts in the royal hot tub. Lucas being a son of king roy is one of the princes of the elk kingdom and its most greedy one with ambitions of getting the throne in his inheritance, or at least a large payout that would lift him out of poverty and government shitholes.....until he spent the whole thing in a couple months on doordashed clinkerdaggers meals and ended up back on the streets. Its right up there with the legend of the wernsquatch of the pacific northwest, haunting the woods and mountains of the spokane region
Fatal Walter
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- Joined
- Oct 23, 2019
Lucas is having a great time with gen z over on tiktok.
WonderWino
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- Dec 17, 2019
Ok I fucking lost it at ok father time and nearly shot hot coffee out of my nose. He must have been pissed at that one. and I like how he asks 'what did I do thats against the law?' like he doesn't have an absurdly long list of things he could be called out on after asking that that were very much against the law. Thats really not the question he should want to be asking anybody. Especially on tiktok
Lucas isn't handling the criticism very well. At this rate he's going to end up on some predator exposer tiktokers radar before too much longer. Especially when some of these people start getting suspicious and googling his name. He's asking for trouble and is too stupid to realize it. and speaking of predator exposers I wonder if lucas will ever get himself into another mia style situation with one of those predator hunting groups. Several of them do operate in his general area and they're mostly full of retards inclined to get violent or chase predators around on video. That would make for quite the video - lucas waddling his ass down the street toward mallon place getting chased by pedo hunters with cameras screaming this guy is trying to meet a 16 year old girl while lucas screeches that they're bigot agephobic republicans and his parents know bail bondsmen and bounty hunters
The Garden
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- Joined
- Sep 30, 2021
Lucas's entire shtick right now brings to mind an absentee father. The kind that never pays child support, but shows up once a month to take the kid somewhere "fancy" and then bowling, all the while bitching about how greedy mom is for wanting child support, before vanishing again for a month. The kinds of things that might impress a 5 year old that misses dad, but they're going to realize is bullshit by the time they're 8. Complete with love bombing and abusive demands for love in equal measure.
WonderWino
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
Thats an.....odd thing to say lucas. Makes it sound like you're talking to somebody who just 'came of age' which considering your history is a massive red flag
- Joined
- Feb 12, 2021
Had the exact same thought. It very much reads like he's referring to somebody in their early to mid teens teens...unless he's using the phrase "coming of age" in a very weird/incorrect way like Russell Greer and talking about himself.
The Garden
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- Joined
- Sep 30, 2021
Lucas was born in 1979, which means his parents were young when the hippies were making the pot brownie recipes he's babbling about now. Odds are, his parents more know about consuming pot than he ever will.
I'm thinking the Creeper has been creeping on some young Gen Z's page and read something about edibles/pot brownies.
- Joined
- Apr 28, 2015
- Joined
- Apr 28, 2015
He would go after a 12 year old. And younger. He once said a toddler ran up to him and told him she wanted to have his babies. Still can't wrap my mind around that delusion.
- Joined
- Feb 12, 2021
I also think there's at least enough hints/circumstantial evidence to suggest he at least said something inappropriate to/around his niece when she was like 11 or something.
- Joined
- Aug 19, 2019
We’ll never know for sure what exactly happened, but the evidence at the very least indicates he lusted after her. Longtime farmers remember the post where he told a woman that she reminded him of his youngest niece and that turned him on. That was years ago and he’s been very careful about saying things like that publicly. Since he’s mentioned little to nothing of her since leads me to infer that something happened. I think we can guess.