- Joined
- Apr 17, 2020
No Lucas, it's not in the cards for you. You will always be alone, and it's what you deserve
Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks
- Thread starter SpacePanther
- Start date
I don't think his "buddy" and the girlfriend are from Mallon. Lucas is such a desperate moron he believes what his "buddy" told him about picking up college girls when he was in his 40's. If the "buddy" is 56 and the girlfriend 14 yrs younger that makes her 42. If and I mean a big "IF" it does happen and that couple sneaks him into a bar, that couple is going to look just as creepy as the Creep for trying to get a GenZ to him.
- Joined
- May 15, 2020
Oh man I really thought he’d given up on that stupid idea, since no woman in the world will ever be interested in him and no “wingman” can ever change that. A fat, disgusting fuck will never soar no matter how many “wings” he gets, Luke.
Also: how long before the term “wing-trans” makes it’s return, or has Lucas completely dropped the mask when it comes to people who are trans?
Edit: another new video. Apparently who you support politically is who you are. Remind me, who supported Stalin, one of the worst mass-murderers/dictators in history, even screaming under a bridge about him being his hero? I’ll take someone who lies a lot over someone who killed and imprisoned millions, Luke. This kinda shit is one reason why it isn’t in the cards.
- Joined
- Apr 17, 2020
Man he looks really bloated at that angle. I thought mallon place didn't feed the residents much, especially with his beetus and kidney failure. No amount of wingmen are gonna make teenage girls want to fuck jabba the gunt, no matter how much delusion the creep is on. I don't think Lucas would even have the endurance to fuck at the size he is right now. His neck sticks out more than his chin at this point
Oh man I really thought he’d given up on that stupid idea, since no woman in the world will ever be interested in him and no “wingman” can ever change that. A fat, disgusting fuck will never soar no matter how many “wings” he gets, Luke.
Also: how long before the term “wing-trans” makes it’s return, or has Lucas completely dropped the mask when it comes to people who are trans?
Edit: another new video. Apparently who you support politically is who you are. Remind me, who supported Stalin, one of the worst mass-murderers/dictators in history, even screaming under a bridge about him being his hero? I’ll take someone who lies a lot over someone who killed and imprisoned millions, Luke. This kinda shit is one reason why it isn’t in the cards.
- Joined
- May 15, 2020
Knowing Dr. Luke his plan would be to make a fist, bend his elbow and have her ride it like a hand-puppet. Ooooh...that is another one we need for bingo: Wern talking about how it doesn't matter that he has a tiny, itty-bitty weenus because he can fist little girls.
- Joined
- Feb 4, 2013
This video is also a crucial part of Wernology in that it reveals another aspect of Lucas' being, which is that he very obviously believes he's a trend setting cultural demigod, he is fully convinced he's speaking truth to power (and they're listening!) and that he's on the bleeding edge of philosophy and cultural awareness.Edit: another new video. Apparently who you support politically is who you are. Remind me, who supported Stalin, one of the worst mass-murderers/dictators in history, even screaming under a bridge about him being his hero? I’ll take someone who lies a lot over someone who killed and imprisoned millions, Luke. This kinda shit is one reason why it isn’t in the cards.
That 8 months pregnant pause right after he equates dating a liar to supporting one, where the look on his face completely conveys the belief that he just dropped a tactical nuke on your psyche... god that's perfection, he's so stupid he doesn't even realize how stupid he is, and he's just looking into the lens on his shitty phone going "well, YOU guys are all stupider than me, so I'm gonna help you and you'd better be grateful!"
Just choice, thank you Lucas for the Christmas gift <3
He is known for getting seconds at meal times and Mallon doesn't seem to be the kind of place where they are concerned with what and how much he eats. Due to his kidney failure he likely also retains water.
- Joined
- Feb 12, 2021
This "explanation" from Lucas has always puzzled me. I would, sincerely, love to have him break down HOW this is comedy. LIke...is the subject matter what's supposed to be funny? Or his delivery? Or...what exactly? He claims everything he says in his videos is true so he can't really then say he's just making up outlandish things for humor. There's also nothing in his delivery that would make anyone believe he was trying to be funny (other than maybe one or two Motel 6 videos where he did those cringey voices that all seemed to be about gay sex with his father). Even if he was supposed to be doing a Bill Hicks/George Carlin kind of aggressive/political/caustic comedy thing, and even if you didn't think the material was funny, you could at least TELL it was supposed to be funny. With Lucas there's no such telltale signs.
I know the real answer is that his "comedy" explanation is a cop out that he's given zero real though to, but I'd still love to give him a chance just to explain himself (Crusty Rusty style) so we could all better understand his comedy stylings.
- Joined
- Feb 1, 2020
I notice he shaved his face and I wonder if it was to prep for his dream scenario. A wing man/woman combo magically acquired Lucas a zoomer bae and quickly vanishing.
On a related note, he looks even more creepy with no facial hair. If his face weren't familiar, and he shaved his head, I would immediately assume this dude is a child molester.
- Joined
- May 15, 2020
Yet another video, one proving (yet again) that Lucas doesn’t know much about history:
- Joined
- Jun 5, 2020
The only good Nazi is one that we nuked to free the zoomer baes
- Joined
- Apr 28, 2015
In response, I'll provide the freak with a truth. The only good pedophile is the one fed through a wood chipper.
- Joined
- Oct 16, 2019
The spate of videos the wern has been putting out has made the season extra jolly.
It's too bad, whoever this girl is that has him worked up, she'll probably never know the gift she's given a bunch of random weirdos online by doing the sane thing and rejecting him.
Just imagine the situation he's proposing though.
This bloated old nutcase is (supposedly) going to go into a bar, with a 56 year old man and a 44 year old woman who are probably of a similar caliber, and the trio of scuzzballs are going to approach random girls and try to get him into their pants.
Imagine being some young woman and a middle aged couple that probably smells and looks like an ashtray walks up to you and starts trying to aggressively chat you up while Lucas Werner leers at you from the corner. You'd be ready to call the police. You'd be convinced they were going to murder you and be afraid to leave.
Absolutely horrible. Good thing they're almost definitely bullshitting him.
It's too bad, whoever this girl is that has him worked up, she'll probably never know the gift she's given a bunch of random weirdos online by doing the sane thing and rejecting him.
He does look even creepier, since you can see his face better without any hair.
Just imagine the situation he's proposing though.
This bloated old nutcase is (supposedly) going to go into a bar, with a 56 year old man and a 44 year old woman who are probably of a similar caliber, and the trio of scuzzballs are going to approach random girls and try to get him into their pants.
Imagine being some young woman and a middle aged couple that probably smells and looks like an ashtray walks up to you and starts trying to aggressively chat you up while Lucas Werner leers at you from the corner. You'd be ready to call the police. You'd be convinced they were going to murder you and be afraid to leave.
Absolutely horrible. Good thing they're almost definitely bullshitting him.
WonderWino
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
Lucas is either lying about this entirely or he is being set up to be fucked with and used. Even other retards want nothing to do with lucas and give lucas a wide berth whenever possible aside from those deliberately fucking with him or using him in some way. At best this is a oh sure if you pay for our meals we'll go out and uh yeah sure we'll hit the bar after and i'll totally be your wingman.... situation where he's being told what he wants to hear by some predatory mallon hobo thats smarter than lucas is and pegged him as a mark pretty fast. Something quite common in this kinds of settings and among the hobo community to the point lucas should be quite familiar with such people. Especially considering similar things have happened to him multiple times before, including by isik. Lucas is getting into legit definition of insanity territory here. The worst case scenario is lucas is being deliberately set up to cause a scene or to be fucked with like some mean girl high schooler who sets up some dumbass unpopular kid at school with a totally legit date with a hot cheerleader friend to fuck with him and make a fool out of him later on cause the kid doesn't know better and can't see the obvious fuckery going on. Or some combination thereof. I'm leaning toward the latter for the simply fact that lucas has no money and only bought that shit recently for people cause of his birthday and christmas money or whatever he was given by his parents. He couldn't afford to buy a single drink for anybody, let alone something a hot young zoomer bae would want at a bar. Whats he going to do? Walk up to a zoomer bae in the bar and say hi i'm lucas. I'd ask if I could buy you a drink but I can't afford to cause i'm poor and broke and live in a nursing home but I have an EBT card.... cause that would not end well for him and would absolutely lead to him getting laughed at and an inevitable scene that would very likely end with a bouncer hauling lucas's fat ass out of the bar and the cops getting called when lucas spazzes out over it. So i'm learning heavily toward whoever these people are, disliking lucas and likely setting him up for something after using him for whatever they can get, for their own amusement
Nothing good has ever come from lucas setting foot in a bar. Hell he's banned from most of the popular ones in spokane. He seems to have forgotten that
His 'wingman' should fuck with him by taking lucas to whatever spokanes version of the local gay leather bar is. Particularly if it has a few troons who pass really badly in it as well. He always said he wanted to have a gay wingman to help him pick up women after all. Even made that video where he cried and demanded a gay guy show up at to meet him on a street corner at 3am and ended with him getting so distraught that it didn't happen that he had to be sedated or tasered and literally picked up off the road and put into an ambulance to go have a trip to the psych ward. Lucas could get advice from the gay leather guys and practice running game on the troons. and the people who brought him there could get it all on video, lucas at a gay leather club hitting on troons on video would be the crown jewel of wernology and something he would never, ever live down. Plus he would forever be known as leatherchap luke, or just chappy for short
Also from the wingman video comments:
Lucas is trying to pull a literal lloyd:
Liars date liars, says the pathological liar who gets caught lying on near daily basis. Whats that make the people who date you then lucas?VoidFace said:
Seeing the woman every day knowing she didn't want him is getting him up after midnight to make videos in the bathroom.
Hey Creeper what if a gay guy approached you and said your body, my choice-- what is your dialog. What was your dialog when that transwoman showed up to meet you.
12:30 AM
2:35 AM
Hey Creeper what if a gay guy approached you and said your body, my choice-- what is your dialog. What was your dialog when that transwoman showed up to meet you.
12:30 AM
2:35 AM
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- Joined
- Oct 27, 2018
Yes! The shirtless videos have returned. There could be a chimpout a brewin. And Lucas going to the bars! Remember that video when he was moooing and saying "hey, zoomer girls, why should I go to the bar? Hey, zooomer girl?". He was being a real sped and fat faggot during that video.
- Joined
- May 15, 2020
Omg new Shirtless in Spokane material?! I’m almost convinced Lucas is intentionally redoing all the classics just for us at this point…though I know this is just his normal cycle, it just feels gift wrapped.
Edit: oh and we’re back to getting dating advice from a incel who has been unwanted for the better part of twenty years, and who only ever had one relationship in his entire life. It really is Christmas.
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Fatal Walter
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Oct 23, 2019
I mean, I do suggest someone obsessed stops talking to the girl for their own mental health if they don't really want to be friends. But to see it as playing hard to get so she changes her mind and wants you is wild. Lucas has no idea how human interaction works after 45 years. I don't even think he gets how childish it is to rant about the friend zone. It's where he put himself on purpose and now he's big mad about it.
Gen Z of Spokane -- if you want the Mallon Creeper for your boyfriend call him daddy otherwise don't talk to him at all.
Attractive Sexhaver
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Apr 12, 2021
It would be a massive step up if Lucas was in the friendzone. None of these women want to be his friends. It's just incredibly dangerous for women to be honest to people like Lucas and say "I want nothing to do with you, you're a gross weird hobo and who gives off rapist vibes" so they say some obvious placating bullshit like "I don't want a boyfriend" or "I just want to be friends." In this instance, they're desperately hoping he cuts off all further contact.