WonderWino
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks
- Thread starter SpacePanther
- Start date
- Joined
- Oct 27, 2018
Listen to this cow mooo and reeee! Lucas doesn't understand that politics are the not center of everyone's identity. They're not the center of most people's identity. Most young people probably don't care a ton about politics. I mean, many do, but many also don't. I bet the majority of Gen Z do not make politics their identity.
Lucas has been moooing over this group home girl for how long? I think around 3 months? I bet she has never once been to a political event of any kind. But to Lucas she is a Gen Z girl, so she must be a socialist. They're bitches and bigots, aren't they, Tubby? How dare not date a plenty good man like Lucas Werner!
- Joined
- Feb 1, 2020
I hope beyond all hope that Johnny Longcock is poking and prodding Lucas every day. I'm imagining a scenario where Johnny subtly whispers MAGA after walking by him in the common area. Or, after Lucas finishes ranting about quantum telomeric age gap relationships, Johnny just spurts "build the wall", with Victoria egging him on.
What's crazy is that's what he perceives is happening, regardless. Just like how he assumes every guy is fucking every girl if they're interacting whatsoever. It's hard to phrase this sanely, but it's like he applies his theory of mind on other people, but he has no theory of mind himself, so he interprets everything as the absolute negative, explicitly against him. Except he also has no sense of self either, so he's incapable of comprehending that negative.
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- Joined
- Feb 1, 2020
WonderWino
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
He's talking gibberish in the comments of that one, claiming christians spread their religion through violence and somehow jesus said to do this
- Joined
- Mar 9, 2015
Christians spread their views by dropping the sword. It's why Europe took to it. His understanding of history is comical but what can you expect?
He's still simping for a fat girl in nursing home, hilarious.
He's still simping for a fat girl in nursing home, hilarious.
CruelGermanGirl
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Aug 1, 2024
Wow, his face is almost as swollen as when he put that foot fungus cream on his face, he swelled up lilke a cartel corpse then, what a tard.
- Joined
- Feb 1, 2020
- Joined
- May 15, 2020
I remember him in the past bringing up that meme about how a monkey hoarding bananas would be studied, but a human doing something similar is celebrated...
And now he claims it isn't a uniquely human trait. He really is too stupid to even stay consistent with his own bullshit.
WonderWino
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
This coming from an incredibly greedy and entitled person who projects that on everyone else. and of course it wouldn't be a wern video if he didn't make some kind of nonsensical comparison
That said, with the amount of obsession lucas puts into religion he may as well be accused of having his own religion. Its not as far off as lucas might like to think. I mean he has many of the elements that would be involved in creating a religion of his own if they are worded the right way. Think about it:
- Gospel of Wern (his life history and telomere ranting)
- Gospel of Myrna (his mothers version of events)
- Gospel of Cyril the Betrayer (cyrils version of living with lucas and their history together, lucas's judas)
- Lost Gospel of Suzanne the Puss Puss Denier (suzannes lost history with lucas)
- Gospel of Dan Campbell (his version of living with lucas)
- Gospel of Telomeres (lucas's combined archive of telomere videos and written rants)
- The Passion of the Wern (both his obsession with little girls and the suffering he's had to endure as a hobo because of it)
- Holy Text of Wound (lucas's idea of a perfect world, as explained through his looney book, wound)
- Three Failures of Wern (failed college first time, failed college second time, failed to get a girlfriend)
- The Temptation of the Wern (mia/joy baker/lacie incidents and various other catfishing attempts)
- Wern Upon the Rock, the Mallon Place Ministry of Wernology (lucas's current situation preaching telomeres at mallon place to any who will listen)
- Gospel of Lost Years of Wern (the lost records of lucas's early years leading up to him becoming known publicly)
- Saint Werner (the grandfather of lucas with the sacred 50 head of cattle)
- Expulsion from Paradise (lucas's expulsion from the elk kingdom and his family for his behavior)
- The Holy Promise of Salvation and Return to Paradise (lucas's expectations of inheritance and manipulating his way back to the elk kingdom by knocking up a zoomer bae)
- Apostles of Wern (isik the apostle, patrick the apostle, justin the apostle, bryan the apostle, lucas's idiot 'friends' and users of him)
- Holy Scriptures of Wern (the attraction signs he puts up all over town and his various creeper notes)
- Sacred Offerings of Wern (the creeper bait like free candy and such he tried to bait little girls with)
- Holy Bounty of Wern (the failed 1k bribe attempts for a date with him)
- Sacred Text of Age Gap Breeding by Saint Dan Eisenberg (the research lucas didn't understand and preaches as supporting his obsession with breeding little girls)
- The 9000 Denials of Wern (lucas's admitted 9000 ignored emails to women on dating sites that he claims to know because he counted them all)
- The Mercy of Saint Larry (his stepdad stepping in to help him during the LA saga and providing him with a motel room when he returned to spokane)
- The Holy Communion of Wern (microwaved cheesy cuke communion wafer as the body of wern and room temperature MD 20/20 bumwine mixed with pepper and laced with psych meds as the blood of wern)
- The Sacred Zoomer Whore (werns obsession)
- Holy Relics of Wern (lost board games, the batman pantaloons, the grandma toque, the nintendo backpack, the shoes he wore until he had a literal hole in his foot without noticing)
- Holy Grail of Wern (date with a zoomer bae)
- Sacred Speech of Wern (the 'hi i'm lucas' pickup line)
- Starbucks of the Damned (the starbucks he was banned from)
- Sacred Respite of Wern (the homeless shelters he survived in and the food banks he ate from when on the street)
- Sacred Apartment of Wern (the olympia apartment where he lived with cyril and his girlfriend in the 90s)
- Sacred Spiral of Telomeres (seeing fibonacci sequence and golden spiral in everything he does)
- The Burning Trial of Wern (the time he got in shit for driving king roys jeep into a firepit)
- The Lost Gospel of King Roy (king roys version of events and reasons for expelling him from the elk kingdom)
- The Denied Passion and Damnation of the Wern (his creepy obsession and statements about his niece)
- Bernie the Savior, Saint of Socialism, Bringer of Communism (lucas's hero and savior)
I'm surprised he hasn't put all those things together to form his own pseudo christian socialist religion centered around himself and his suffering, like a modern hobo jesus. He certainly has the mentality and narcissism for it and given his habit of leeching of of things he encounters and twisting them to fit his own ends (at least in his own mind) its surprising he hasn't done this with christianity, as he is not as atheist as he claims to be and it fits his general MO
- Joined
- Feb 1, 2020
In one of Wernology's old posts, he mentioned that Lucas has a terrible memory. I'm not sure if it's that or his brain is so miswired that he doesn't see his frequent contradictions. Either way, the fact that he's not the one being studied is criminal.
I'm pretty sure his obsession with religion, and Christianity in particular, is he's hoping that there's a zoomer Christian out there who interprets the Bible literally, just like he does. It's why he's not necessarily looking for pity sex (well, he is, but he doesn't think that), but that he deserves sex. Then the only thing left for Lucas is to get them to somehow make the leap from "love thy neighbor" to "fuck Lucas Werner" the same way he does. IMO, that's one of the more fascinating aspects about him. His logic chain is always leads to "and this is why you should fuck Lucas Werner".
Edit:
One thing to note is his eyes shrink, as he gets more angry, and begin to recess behind his face bloat. Call me crazy, I'm starting to suspect Lucas may have health issues.
LOL. I think he's taking WonderWino's advice? You can tell he was working on zinger at the end, but the autism wordsmithing forced out the "more like CHRIST than your CHRISTians" line. Just like MEGA (MAGA) and FAYGET (faggot), where he's unable to pronounce something due to autism brain. Also, I think he changed his shirt? No idea what would spurn that in the middle day other than someone else doing his laundry?
I'm noticing Lucas is getting fewer comments, much less visible comments. I believe the xanax person was found out to not be a breeding aged zoomer and no idea what happened to that Jim person. I've really got no idea why he mutes comments because he's obviously starved for attention and it's like like the trolls are all that vicious.
Second edit: Moar edition
This reply made me allow. I think one of the reasons he's so assblasted another the Bible is him being unable to comprehend the difference between the abstract and the literal. I honestly don't believe he knows what either means. I also get a kick out of the holier then thou attitude when he desperately wants to be viewed as profound, when he's just another random angry hobo.
1. Pretty sure most people don't associate woke with Christianity whatsoever. They're close to polar opposites, but not quite, if anything.
2. He's OH SO CLOSE to stumbling upon something here. That maybe, JUST MAYBE, that people are unique and act to their own accord. That people can contradict the abstract label which he categorizes them under. He'll never ever ever complete that circuit though because they would mean people don't like him because he's him. Like seriously, I'm pretty sure he'd do the same routine if came across a zoomer bae who fetishized broke, homeless, fat, balding, schozofrenic, socialist atheist, but did not like him.
Edit:
Edit 4:
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- Joined
- Jan 27, 2019
Archives of recent videos:
The Crosses They Don't Bear:
Ladies At Least 18:
Attempting Not To Eat Shit:
Woke Liberal Oligarchy:
Retaliation Politics:
Woke Liberal Oligarchy 2:
Nice Tesla, Democrat
Woke Christianity:
It's Transgenic Mice, Not Transgender Mice, Trump
Greed Is Cancer:
This Is What Kakistocratic Oligarchy Looks Like:
Give More Than Take:
Forgive Me, But...
Socialism Is The Answer:
Ye Art Cherry Pickers:
Jesus Christ Had Questionable Morals:
Why It's Easy To Correct Christians:
You Christian Sluts and Fuckbois:
Bat Shit:
The Crosses They Don't Bear:
Ladies At Least 18:
Attempting Not To Eat Shit:
Woke Liberal Oligarchy:
Retaliation Politics:
Woke Liberal Oligarchy 2:
Nice Tesla, Democrat
Woke Christianity:
It's Transgenic Mice, Not Transgender Mice, Trump
Greed Is Cancer:
This Is What Kakistocratic Oligarchy Looks Like:
Give More Than Take:
Forgive Me, But...
Socialism Is The Answer:
Ye Art Cherry Pickers:
Jesus Christ Had Questionable Morals:
Why It's Easy To Correct Christians:
You Christian Sluts and Fuckbois:
Bat Shit:
- Joined
- Feb 1, 2020
. It arises from the generational gap of 20-30 years, which is weird under ANY circumstance. It's all doubly weird with Lucas because of how much he fetishizes it under the guise of spring autumn, quantum telomeric impregnation. Pretending to be the progressive feminist to slay puss puss is already a trope and Lucas is just so awful at playing 1D chess, that it makes his lovequest so laughable.Also, God bless every time he rips up a love note and it reveals being written on a children's coloring page. It's all too much.
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WonderWino
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
Considering lucas's absurd history of being catfished and not knowing when he's being fucked with even when its blatantly obvious he has no business accusing anyone else of being gullible
Not to mention the initial purpose of religion was very obviously to explain the world and why things were the way they were by people who didn't have any understanding of such things. Sure, later on it was coopted by assholes to manipulate and control people plenty of times but that doesn't mean that was the initial intent. Its also something we're hardwired to engage in in some form and has been for a very long time. Why is anyones guess but that seems to be an actual thing
and lucas picking christianity of all religions as spreading by the sword shows how little he understands about it or about history. It only spread the way it did because of the lack of using force or otherwise overtly pressuring people into converting. Unlike the roman religion of the time and many other contemporary religions christianity was absurdly pacifist, to the point it drove the romans nuts trying to understand why, which led to them inadvertently helping spread it by martyring people. Its not a coincidence that christianity has a major hardon for pacifism and martyrdom. I wonder which part of getting fed to the lions for public amusement in the arenas of the empire all those incidents of torture and crucifying people fall under spreading by the sword to lucas's swiss cheese brain. The romans were the ones executing people for not following their religion, specifically their imperial cult and islam was the one who conquered the middle east, north africa and a good chunk of europe over the centuries. The whole christian knight thing was a direct cause of such behavior, to defend not just their religion but their homelands. Even the crusades were largely a result of muslim fuckery in the holy land
Lucas, unsurprisingly, does not know his history. Particularly in regards to religion. He still hasn't even figured out that in the 20th century atheist communists killed more people than all the religious wars in history combined, by a few orders of magnitude
But what do you expect from somebody who publicly supports and apologizes for stalin and repeats literal soviet propaganda. Remember when he spazzed out because he got called out for trying to claim the gulags were really nice places everyone wanted to go to and how great they were treated in? Lucas would absolutely be the beria of spokane if he had the opportunity
Not to mention the initial purpose of religion was very obviously to explain the world and why things were the way they were by people who didn't have any understanding of such things. Sure, later on it was coopted by assholes to manipulate and control people plenty of times but that doesn't mean that was the initial intent. Its also something we're hardwired to engage in in some form and has been for a very long time. Why is anyones guess but that seems to be an actual thing
and lucas picking christianity of all religions as spreading by the sword shows how little he understands about it or about history. It only spread the way it did because of the lack of using force or otherwise overtly pressuring people into converting. Unlike the roman religion of the time and many other contemporary religions christianity was absurdly pacifist, to the point it drove the romans nuts trying to understand why, which led to them inadvertently helping spread it by martyring people. Its not a coincidence that christianity has a major hardon for pacifism and martyrdom. I wonder which part of getting fed to the lions for public amusement in the arenas of the empire all those incidents of torture and crucifying people fall under spreading by the sword to lucas's swiss cheese brain. The romans were the ones executing people for not following their religion, specifically their imperial cult and islam was the one who conquered the middle east, north africa and a good chunk of europe over the centuries. The whole christian knight thing was a direct cause of such behavior, to defend not just their religion but their homelands. Even the crusades were largely a result of muslim fuckery in the holy land
Lucas, unsurprisingly, does not know his history. Particularly in regards to religion. He still hasn't even figured out that in the 20th century atheist communists killed more people than all the religious wars in history combined, by a few orders of magnitude
But what do you expect from somebody who publicly supports and apologizes for stalin and repeats literal soviet propaganda. Remember when he spazzed out because he got called out for trying to claim the gulags were really nice places everyone wanted to go to and how great they were treated in? Lucas would absolutely be the beria of spokane if he had the opportunity
- Joined
- Feb 1, 2020
Another day, another Wern
I wonder how the "spaz out about Gen Z being bigots" approach will work. (Hint: It won't). I'm 90% sure he just like saying the word " bigots", like a sped, at this point.
I truly do question if he legitimately believes that his lack of success is due to ageist bigots and not due to his unique offerings (none). It's hard to believe it isn't some retarded coping mechanism to protect his fragile ego, but he's also a schozofrenic retard. It's just as likely that he's unaware how everyone knows he's projecting.
Also, day 2 of the shirt. I wonder how long this streak will last.
I truly do question if he legitimately believes that his lack of success is due to ageist bigots and not due to his unique offerings (none). It's hard to believe it isn't some retarded coping mechanism to protect his fragile ego, but he's also a schozofrenic retard. It's just as likely that he's unaware how everyone knows he's projecting.
Also, day 2 of the shirt. I wonder how long this streak will last.
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2014
He's just looping and clanging at this point like the schizo he is. Not much point in actually watching these. I do like how the algorithm always picks an appropriate thumb that shows he's completely insane, with some bizarre angry facial expression, and you get to see how long he wears the same shirt.
Imagine the smell.
Fatal Walter
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Oct 23, 2019
I'm gonna read this thing that I don't think I've ever actually bothered to read before. Kind of surprised I hadn't.
- Joined
- Feb 1, 2020
A few notes:
- This level of introspection, albeit shallow, is something I couldn't fathom Lucas having in this day and age. It's bizarre to think he has human thoughts at some point.
- The mom stuff is weird, but tracks. There is no scenario where a man compares potential romantic interests to his mother. Suzanne was definitely a mommy-wife.
- Holy shit the McDonald's crying. How long did he work there? 1 day? Also, him complaining about the cleanliness is hilarious because I'm 99% sure that was his role. McDonald's tends to place true n' honest tards into that role because you can't put them customer-facing nor food handling, because well.... They're tards.
- The fear about living on the streets because he would have written this well before it became potentially feasible. It's like he manifested being a hobo into reality.
- The nigga fantasized Cyril fucking his mom?????? Wtf??? All because Cyril treated him like a sped with "you can try harder, Lucas. I believe in you.", dad-level peptalks? I think a big reason Lucas was/is so angry at Cyril is because he was jealous and he wanted to fuck his mom.
- Believing Cyril was executing some convoluted scheme, by creating the ultimate yard shield to pick up women, is something that tracks 100%. That goddamn greedy friend who pitied Lucas so much by letting him be his roommate refused to yeet him a bae. How dare he!!
WonderWino
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
Lucas's time at mcdonalds amounted to a few months at least. Probably at least the better part of a year given the housing situation and the fact lucas was terrified to lose his job and end up on the street (too bad that fear didn't stay, he might have actually tried to get a job and actually do something productive if it had) Much of that time he was doing the fry station, which is why he bitches about the grease and such so much. Implies he wasn't doing a good job cause it really shouldn't smell that bad unless you're burning shit. Which is likely what got him kicked off of that and demoted to idiot unloading trucks in the morning at some point. He never explained exactly how that came about but at some point it did. This led to him eventually fucking that up as well and getting fired, then pretending to go to work as usual for several weeks until cyrils girlfriend at the time randomly happened to see him walking down the street on her way to work one day and confronting him about it. By his own admission he didn't think ahead to how he was going to explain not having any money come rent day. She ended up somehow getting him a job at the place she was working, some kind of dennys or something along those lines, which he apparently also fucked up at some point, without him having provided any specifics (gee I wonder why) and eventually getting creepy with her to the point she stopped trying to help him out and generally avoided her, which he admits to in the writeup but not the the degree he realizes. He makes it quite clear that was the kind of behavior we've come to expect from him at this point, acting weird and creepy and probably trying to steal her from cyril (he accidentally admits cyril accused him of trying to steal her at some point in that writeup as well so he 'stayed away from her' to not get into any further trouble about it)
That said, I still don't understand what lucas's idea of cyrils supposed plan to use him and his friends to help him get women actually was or how lucas thinks that was intended to work. I mean he keeps them away from various women he knows, brags about them being his little buddies and this helps him keep backup women around because.....reasons? I know lucas is an idiot but still, even by lucas standards he never actually considered how that was supposed to work. Its obvious why lucas was kept away from the women and by association the creeps foolish enough to associate with lucas. Not that I buy cyrils version of events as being the pure truth either, because it very clearly isn't. Both he and his girlfriend knew lucas well in high school and had to be aware of his reputation and behavior, as by lucas's own admission everybody did as that shit had been going on for a long time at that point. Not to mention nobody invites some guy from highschool to live with them that they don't know well enough to know they aren't going to fuck you over or rob you. I don't doubt for a second they knew lucas was a sped and stupider than rocks and figured they could wrangle him easily enough once things were set up with the apartment so they'd have an easy third of the rent with a roommate they could control easily enough rather than risking some normal person who might be an asshole and cause problems (lol). Not realizing just how much of an idiot lucas really is or how truly fucked in the head he would turn out to be once actually living with him and it ended up eventually backfiring when lucas started stressing out from the job, being criticized due to his behavior and told to stop acting like a sped when needed and from being rebuffed from his expectations of being introduced to women and going out to party and all that, leading to his ending up eventually losing his shit and getting tossed in the nuthouse. It fits with what happened and tracks with his history and the guy is hardly the first high schooler to graduate and pull that one on the class sped
Come to think of it, looking back I did end up spending some time in spokane in 1998 and 1999, so its a rather concerning thought that the fries we all had at lunch might very well have been been cooked by lucas. Lucas being lucas you just know he was sneaking a few fries whenever he thought he could get away with it (particularly given how he claims he was 'starving to death' at the time and stole food from cyril) Hopefully lucas wasn't on shift at the time. Though that must be about the only time in lucas's life where some teen girls actually ate food he had been involved in cooking
- Joined
- Aug 4, 2019
How does one fuck up the fries at McDonald’s? Don’t you just lower the basket into the oil and press the timer, then take them out? Amazing.