Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[Twrx]

LOL. Okay Lucas. Then that's just abuse, lol. I do appreciate the signature creepy smirk followed by obviously fiddling with the phone to stop recording though.

Funny, because he physically and emotionally abused the one partner he's ever had. And she was damn near a senior citizen. I may be misremembering her age.

 

[Bassomatic]

I think part of Lucas sex obsession is hes very lonely and feels left out of every aspect of society. This is true because he's a gross unwashed freak.

As much as he tries to LARP as a cool 2020s progressive he's a 90s not PC kid at heart. He hates he's a faggot, you know fags spread gay from water fountains!

Lucas really has had more sexual contact with men than women. He's brutally ashamed because that wasn't manly or cool and he's still stuck in the era when that was a normal view.

He has to have teen puss puss to prove he's cool and not an aids riddled queer. When he really is a disease riddled faggot hilarious.

I think it's also really funny King Roy saw this thread and knows his gay retarded son blew a guy. Myrna probably forgot since she doesn't know what day it is anymore and Larry probably keeps Lucas on speed dial if he needs a slow blow and cant get Myrndussy.

No one cares when Lucas tries to bully them because he's a loser. People in a strange way respect or fear their bullies or they don't get effected. Lucas is so narcissistic he thinks people don't see him as the near 50 year old toothless balding fat pedophile.

But the fact he tries bullying shows if he got a girl he'd abuse her asap. He doesn't even have a nice guy mask to lure. He makes it very clear if you're his girl you're his meal ticket, punching bag and fleshlite plus more!

Oh another sign, they let Lucas back in arts in crafts again?

 

[SteveGoatman]

It's the beauty of it. He doesn't think he's manipulative, nor understand the concept, he just is. Thankfully he's so bad at it that the only one's capable of falling for it would have to be literal retards.

Precisely this. Lucas IS a predator and manipulative, he's just really bad at it. If he wasn't so comically inept he would be WAY more dangerous.

 

[Bassomatic]

Precisely this. Lucas IS a predator and manipulative, he's just really bad at it. If he wasn't so comically inept he would be WAY more dangerous.

He's still dangerous because he has MRSA.

 

[Stinkyboy]

Lucas Werner is a fat biggit, and I would not have sex with him

 

[Da Dude123]

Now the cow has returned to e-begging. He wants you to send $100 to his cash app, probably to spend on Stinkerdaggers. Man, don't send that fat, autistic bum shit!

 

[not in the cards]

Now the cow has returned to e-begging. He wants you to send $100 to his cash app, probably to spend on Stinkerdaggers. Man, don't send that fat, autistic bum shit!

He'll find success? Ha! That's a good one. No amount of money could honestly help that bloated retard.

 

[WonderWino]

Now the cow has returned to e-begging. He wants you to send $100 to his cash app, probably to spend on Stinkerdaggers. Man, don't send that fat, autistic bum shit!

Sounds like he's getting antsy after a few weeks of shitty nursing home food and whatever he can waddle over and steal from the food bank and wants to relive the outback steakhouse video from a couple weeks ago

That said he's not thinking about what he's saying again. He tried to claim he's up to $100ish extra money per month from his tugboat so if thats the case why isn't he 'finding success' with that every month? He's being manipulative and stupid as a rock and thinks he's clever enough to manipulate people out of another $100 to gorge himself again. Unless 'what he's looking for' in this case is the opportunity to stuff his face at outback again, in which case he's managing to tell the truth for once in his life

 

[wenttobermuda]

I think part of Lucas sex obsession is hes very lonely and feels left out of every aspect of society. This is true because he's a gross unwashed freak.

As much as he tries to LARP as a cool 2020s progressive he's a 90s not PC kid at heart. He hates he's a faggot, you know fags spread gay from water fountains!

Lucas really has had more sexual contact with men than women. He's brutally ashamed because that wasn't manly or cool and he's still stuck in the era when that was a normal view.

He has to have teen puss puss to prove he's cool and not an aids riddled queer. When he really is a disease riddled faggot hilarious.

I think it's also really funny King Roy saw this thread and knows his gay retarded son blew a guy. Myrna probably forgot since she doesn't know what day it is anymore and Larry probably keeps Lucas on speed dial if he needs a slow blow and cant get Myrndussy.

No one cares when Lucas tries to bully them because he's a loser. People in a strange way respect or fear their bullies or they don't get effected. Lucas is so narcissistic he thinks people don't see him as the near 50 year old toothless balding fat pedophile.

But the fact he tries bullying shows if he got a girl he'd abuse her asap. He doesn't even have a nice guy mask to lure. He makes it very clear if you're his girl you're his meal ticket, punching bag and fleshlite plus more!

Oh another sign, they let Lucas back in arts in crafts again?

Whether Lucas fellated Jason Purva or not, the mere fact that the rumors are credible and persistent speaks to the undeniable truth of Lucas's being: he is a fat faggot.

Yet, I do not believe Lucas is a homosexual fat faggot. He is, as you note, sex obsessed. But he is also ultimately rather sexless. And i don't just mean that Lucas has had little sexual experience, but rather he experiences sex primarily as a struggle for status with other males.

As you observe, Lucas's interest in sex is motivated, in large part, by a desire to impress other men, to be "cool." Lucas understands sex as something guys use to keep score, and that sex with desired partners demonstrates one's plenty-goodness. Balling a zoomer bae is great, but the important part is being recognized for balling a zoomer bae. This tendency can also be seen in his fixation with "swooping" other guy's romantic interests and his fear of flatbills with credit cards. He is intensely jealous of others and dreams of making others jealous of him. I suspect that's as close as he comes to experiencing what most folks would recognize as "sexual desire."

Perhaps I'm discounting his innate sadism. Lucas has expressed an interest in fisting and butthole torture. His interest in shoving his arm up some teen's asshole might be motivated by the desire to punish and assert dominance.

How do the telomeres, and oft stated (and retracted) desire for offspring fit into this? I suspect it's another way to keep score. Lucas's desire for children is less a sales pitch, more a desire for a mate/mommy/provider who will do all the hard work in life for him, and also put out and make all the fellas jealous.

 

[HackerX]

Sounds like he's getting antsy after a few weeks of shitty nursing home food and whatever he can waddle over and steal from the food bank and wants to relive the outback steakhouse video from a couple weeks ago

I'm hopeful he's fueling up to rant about bars and $100 steak dinners, but praying he doesn't cycle through begging constantly. It wouldn't shock me if he has an "cashapp me to unblock on YouTube" arc since the majority of comments are blocked. Though if anyone cared enough, I'm not sure why they wouldn't just make a sock account.

As you observe, Lucas's interest in sex is motivated, in large part, by a desire to impress other men, to be "cool." Lucas understands sex as something guys use to keep score, and that sex with desired partners demonstrates one's plenty-goodness. Balling a zoomer bae is great, but the important part is being recognized for balling a zoomer bae.

I'm actually really curious why Lucas doesn't lie about sexual escapades with the mythical zoomer bae. No one would believe him regardless and he's slyly, yet obviously, lied about a bunch of other things, but why not this? Whatever that answer is would provide fascinating window into Lucas's schizofrenically retarded mind.

How do the telomeres, and oft stated (and retracted) desire for offspring fit into this? I suspect it's another way to keep score. Lucas's desire for children is less a sales pitch, more a desire for a mate/mommy/provider who will do all the hard work in life for him, and also put out and make all the fellas jealous.

I'm partial to the autism linking up with the BPD schizofrenia and this was his Sonic or trains. It's a combination of a few things for sure:

- His desire to prove he's not genetic failure.

- His desire to sound smart.

- He thinks the telomeric mooing is a secret phrase that ensures access to zoomer baes.

- Telomeres demonstrate his perceived value to a woman since he literally has nothing else except a non-functional penis.

- It also conveniently weaves and into his "Gen Z are ageist bigots" moos.

Edit: Recent comments

You're a bigot because Lucas is a fat, schozofrenic hobo and that's all there is to it. Pro-consent BTW, whatever that means, and apparently everything Lucas has repeatedly done is in your overactive imagination. Somehow black men are involved too?

I think he's fantasizing about black dudes and Myrna again.

The concept of money continues to elude Lucas.

2nd edit: New video. The begging continues.

First of all. Same shirt as yesterday.

Secondly, his manipulation tactics are an art form in that he's manipulating no one but himself. He's clearly begging for food money whether he's aware of it or not. Personally, I think he's aware as far as he knows that money would ultimately be spent on food, but he's trying to trick himself that he'd spend it at a bar to pick up the fantastical Gen Z bae.

Thirdly, no one thinks you can pick up any woman whatsoever, but thanks for advertising your intent to creep on women at the park again.

Fourthly, why would you "know you can"???? How??? I think that part is just his attempt at manipulation but hilarious nonetheless.

Bonus Comment:
Hopefully no one falls for this shit.

 

[not in the cards]

He just wants someone to give him the money instead of getting off his fat, lazy ass and earning it. Such a pathetic moocher.

 

[HackerX]

He just wants someone to give him the money instead of getting off his fat, lazy ass and earning it. Such a pathetic moocher.

Oh absolutely. What's worse is he clearly wants the money for food instead of chasing the zoomer baes. Since it's that obvious, I doubt anyone is gonna toss him any loose change. The crazy part is, Lucas could possibly scrape up a small chunk of change via podcasts and the like, but he's too much of a retard to participate in human conversation.

Seriously, I just finished watching the 2nd Geek Room stream and half of it is him talking about someone giving him $40 in food for a 2 minute video when it has nothing to do with the conversation. Or when he was simultaneously confused with the concept of a 'state-issued girlfriend' while also trying to wrap his head around the logistics of it without ever grasping the question. The retard is incapable of following a conversation and just continues with how he thinks the concert is going.

People want to see what goes through his mind, but he's too retarded and consumed with what he thinks is going through his mind. People want to see him strike out at bars, but he's too afraid of getting rejected
People do not want to see him eat food nor beg for money to eat food.

Edit: YouTube Comments

Thankfully I screenshot this one because he decided to block the guy and his comment after he simmered on it for a day. Typically, you'd think replying 3x would be accidental but it's definitely not for this case. Then to reply one last time before blocking him the next day? Chef's kiss.

Either way, Mr. Hazelnut was definitely fucking with Lucas's mind on that one. That comment absolutely made Lucas paranoid. I've seen JimBallzzz referenced in clips from years ago, so the faux ball washing has been going on for a while. Kudos to that dude for being so dedicated, yet low-key.

Fahmuh needs to stop being anti-poor! I'm not sure how Lucas thinks begging for money is socialism though. That part is confusing.

- Decided to take a gander at older videos and Lucas is replying to a few of them more than a year later.

LOL. Family favorite!

I partially take back what I said about no one wanting to watch Lucas eat. I definitely want to watch him cook. It's a shame those Malon Place bigots won't let a 45 year old man cook in the pleasure of his own nursing home.

New edit:
Speak of the devil. I'm busy editing my post with YouTube comments and he graces us with another YouTube video!

3 days in a row with the shirt now. I have to wonder how often people at the nursing home make subtle comments to him about it that just go over his head. Either way, he's a sped that I think is wearing his hat a few inches over his head.

The Fahmuh comment really got to him apparently since he decided to make a video about it. It really shows how to interpret Lucas's reply though and now it makes sense. Socialism to Lucas means giving Lucas money, LOL. Not a shocker by any means. Unfortunately, he's unable to make the correlation that money must be earned.

He caps it off with the Wern special. If you want to get back at the billionaires, give Lucas Werner money to find his chick because he definitely won't immediately end up spending it on food. And remember, giving him more money is socialism, not classism, you stupid bigots!

Edit Edit: Anotha Wern!

Starts off as the usual "Republicans hate woman" mooing but one thing caught my eye. Apparently they're anti-women breastfeeding in public, LOL. Such a niche thing so it's obvious that Lucas wants women to breastfeed in public for very obvious reasons.

He's confused why woman aren't Republican or something yet still won't date him, but don't fret! If you give him money he'll be able to spread enlightenment...or something

 

[WonderWino]

Seriously, I just finished watching the 2nd Geek Room stream and half of it is him talking about someone giving him $40 in food for a 2 minute video when it has nothing to do with the conversation. Or when he was simultaneously confused with the concept of a 'state-issued girlfriend' while also trying to wrap his head around the logistics of it without ever grasping the question. The retard is incapable of following a conversation and just continues with how he thinks the concert is going.

Just pointing out a reminder to everyone that at that rate he was charging $20 per minute, which is considerably more expensive than the sleaziest and most exploitative 90s phone sex hotline. Shows lucas has no understanding of the actual intrinsic value of money and how value is determined for what people use it for

People want to see what goes through his mind, but he's too retarded and consumed with what he thinks is going through his mind. People want to see him strike out at bars, but he's too afraid of getting rejected
People do not want to see him eat food nor beg for money to eat food.

To be fair if he begged for said money by painting himself silver and waddling his fat ass around outside the bus station doing one of those robot meme shows it might be worth watching. Surely silver paint robot predator wern would finally get his zoomer bae. Or maybe dressing up in a sailor suit and doing a retarded comedy routine. Though lucas dressing like that skulking around the bus station would probably make people think he was a skeevy randy tier male hooker, selling his ass for cheeseburgers. Which, to be fair, really isn't as far off from the truth as lucas wants to believe. I also wouldn't entirely put it past him if he legitimately thought it could be done discreetly enough that nobody would find out. Though if he ever did get to that point and actually did it, even once, he'd be paranoid forever about anyone getting the slightest hint about it and it would become very obvious he did it because he'd absolutely wig out at the slightest hint from anyone implying he was gay after that

Either way, Mr. Hazelnut was definitely fucking with Lucas's mind on that one. That comment absolutely made Lucas paranoid. I've seen JimBallzzz referenced in clips from years ago, so the faux ball washing has been going on for a while. Kudos to that dude for being so dedicated, yet low-key.

Yet another example of lucas not recognizing when he's being blatantly fucked with. a child would have recognized the sarcasm and fact he was just fucking with lucas in that post. It clearly never even crossed his mind until hazelnut brought it up, and like you said it definitely made him paranoid as fuck. No doubt he went back and started looking through old posts from him and other users shortly afterwards trying to catch any hint he was being fucked with by people. When he can't find any, because he's an idiot, he'll do what he always does and randomly mass block people to be on the safe side. Its shit like this that convinces me he is absolutely on the autism spectrum. Thats textbook autistic behavior. I'd bet money on him frequently misreading peoples body language and facial expressions a well. Hence his obsession with women blushing and looking at him and fixating on that meaning they're interested while not realizing he missed all the other social cues that imply said women are uncomfortable if not outright afraid of being in his presence

LOL. Family favorite!

Somehow I can't picture king roy sitting in elken throne room that his his den and favorite ratty old recliner, with a glass of 20 year old scotch in one hand, a cigar in his mouth and a toasted cheese sandwich in the other, while discussing the affairs of the kingdom over a game of backgammon and lamenting what is to be done about his exiled prince of the elken lands

Though to be fair it probably beats the king roy of my current rimworld playthrough, where he just sits on his throne, plays the harp and eats nothing but pemmican and beer, while wearing his stylish squirrel skin top hat and cape. Its slightly less absurd than lucas marrying the only fertile female in the colony. Thankfully two ovums from myrna fertilized by king roy are kept in storage to ensure the dynasty lives on and the wern was forced to get a vasectomy the moment the marriage was announced. Though perhaps if king roys genetic lineage is being preserved as the ruling dynasty of the colony, lucas's defective genetics could yet be useful. He does have some useful shooting and mining abilities. Perhaps lab grown wern spawn with modified genetics could make a useful slave, soldier and organ harvesting class. Not necessarily in that order

Also, the fact lucas eats these things as some kind of family favorite but seems unaware that its traditional to add worcestershire sauce on them in the UK shows how little he knows about the shit he eats. But what do you expect from someone who puts pepper on caviar. Also, the last time that shit came up was when he made a video at the homeless shelter where he made a couple of these things and recorded himself eating them in the bathroom, hence getting a TCAP recipes video made about it, that had one of my favorite troll comments of all time - bathroom roasties love bathroom toasties

I partially take back what I said about no one wanting to watch Lucas eat. I definitely want to watch him cook. It's a shame those Malon Place bigots won't let a 45 year old man cook in the pleasure of his own nursing home.

The funny thing is there are many nursing homes where they're set up and designed for the residents to be able to cook their own meals if they want to. Lucas and the people he lives with are less trusted around food and kitchens than 80 year olds in alot of places. No doubt lucas absolutely hates the food at mallon place, aside from whatever they serve on major holidays. You just know lucas is looking forward to july 4th for his burger and hot dog dinner, which is likely on par with the shit they serve on prison holidays. I really have to wonder how he reacts to the thanksgiving and christmas meals, with the turkey and stuffing and all that. No doubt slams as much as he can into himself on those days and I wouldn't be surprised to find out he sneaks down to the homeless shelter for lunch trying to get a similar meal first. They should ban him from having access to pepper just to piss him off

3 days in a row with the shirt now. I have to wonder how often people at the nursing home make subtle comments to him about it that just go over his head. Either way, he's a sped that I think is wearing his hat a few inches over his head.

Oh it definitely happens alot, probably by staff as well. They don't want him wearing that shit constantly cause they don't want to have to smell him. No doubt he gets subtle hints to change his clothes that a child would take the hint on but don't even remotely register in his swiss cheese brain. After all if they did he'd get angry and ree about how he showers every day and is plenty good like he does when we point it out and would get in trouble. They should just give him the prison treatment and have him dragged into the shower, hosed down and worked over with those stiff brushes. Not that i'd wish that job on anyone. Just imagine if lucas ended up like his mother with dementia and got to the point he lost what little self restraint he had from it and you had to be the one scrubbing him down in the shower when he shit himself. The staff would no doubt be trading vacation days with each other to get out of that job

and he still hasn't explained how the $100 someone else gives him will somehow get him a zoomer bae when the $100 he gets from the government doesn't. Its another one of his shitty manipulations and scams. This is his modern version of the ebay scam he admitted to pulling on some woman back in the 90s to pay his rent. Remember, he himself admitted he'll do it if he feels its justified to get him what he wants

Starts off as the usual "Republicans hate woman" mooing but one thing caught my eye. Apparently they're anti-women breastfeeding in public, LOL. Such a niche thing so it's obvious that Lucas wants women to breastfeed in public for very obvious reasons.

Oh yeah he definitely wants to see women walking around tits out, breastfeeding in public. He'd be giving creeper stares that would make chris hansen blush if he came across some high school teen mom doing that in public

I also like how he claims there are no republican women in spokane and how he totally never meets any. The fiance is very pro republican and was back in college when he was being creepy with her. So he has absolutely met a young republican woman in the age range he claims to want and is too stupid to know it.

and speaking of chris hansen blushing i'm surprised nobody trolled lucas with a wern version of the booty bandit. I tell you what lucas, I like ya and I want ya. Now we can do this the easy way or the hard way. I'm a warrior lucas and i'm here for big fat wern butt, you can bring out your phone and make a video and threaten to call the cops but it won't make no difference. Now I see you're choosing the hard way.....

You just know lucas would wig right the fuck out if somebody said that to him in person

 

[Melas Zomos]

Another comment fatty will probably delete

 

[HackerX]

Anotha one:

Blah blah blah, there's a difference between being a leftist and a liberal blah blah blah. Politics and Economics are my least favorite Wern topic.

Shows lucas has no understanding of the actual intrinsic value of money and how value is determined for what people use it for

The man could not comprehend that being paid in sandwiches was not a measure of success.

To be fair if he begged for said money by painting himself silver and waddling his fat ass around outside the bus station doing one of those robot meme shows it might be worth watching.

It really goes to show how shitty he is at capitalizing or monetizing his lolcowsom. I'm not saying he could ever make enough for a living by any means, but he doesn't benefit from his notoriety whatsoever. If anything, he's stagnated at a few hundred curious views per video, 0$ ever being sent his way, and no lolcowtuber channel really follows him other than @Fatal Walter. Wernology essential just archives his shit with a few text comments and discount Turkey Tom didn't really do much besides haphazardly compiling Lucas's shenanigans.

FFS, CWC is able to monetize himself well enough and he fucked his geriatric mother! Lucas can't focus on shit long enough to gain traction.

Though if he ever did get to that point and actually did it, even once, he'd be paranoid forever about anyone getting the slightest hint about it and it would become very obvious he did it because he'd absolutely wig out at the slightest hint from anyone implying he was gay after that

That shit is so weird because in the Geek Room podcast, he offered up the Jason Perva BJ story out of nowhere. I think he was trying to make a joke but who the hell knows.

Yet another example of lucas not recognizing when he's being blatantly fucked with. a child would have recognized the sarcasm and fact he was just fucking with lucas in that post.

TBF, Jim has been about as subtle about it as possible. To the point where I think highly autistic individuals in general wouldn't be able to pick it up. Mr. Ballzzz has to be a Werner-savant at this point as far as toeing the line enough to garner replies from Lucas without getting blocked.

When he can't find any, because he's an idiot, he'll do what he always does and randomly mass block people to be on the safe side.

That and forget. His working concept of reality is what fascinates me the most.

Its shit like this that convinces me he is absolutely on the autism spectrum. Thats textbook autistic behavior. I'd bet money on him frequently misreading peoples body language and facial expressions a well. Hence his obsession with women blushing and looking at him and fixating on that meaning they're interested while not realizing he missed all the other social cues that imply said women are uncomfortable if not outright afraid of being in his presence

Oh God. I hate repeatedly referencing a podcast from years ago but there's so many interesting tidbits that come from that in retrospect. He could not comprehend that a woman blushing could mean anything else than a woman wanting to fuck him. The idea that it could mean she was nervous or anything like that simply did not compute with his brain. It's crazy how things like that apply to EVERYTHING when considering Lucas.

No doubt lucas absolutely hates the food at mallon place, aside from whatever they serve on major holidays.

It's interesting because definitely hates it, but likely for no other reason than it's not bottomless steak or lobster. His relationship with food is so interesting in that it's kinda inverse. Instead of things he likes/doesn't like, it's things he likes and likes more. Then it goes completely off the wall when you consider his bizarre creations. Cobes has an EXPONENTIALLY better understanding of creating dishes than Lucas.

You just know lucas is looking forward to july 4th for his burger and hot dog dinner, which is likely on par with the shit they serve on prison holidays.

I'm partial to the birthday hamburgers at Red Robin that are no longer free. I wonder if he discovered that change in person or manages to learn of that before he went.

They should ban him from having access to pepper just to piss him off

I'm very curious if there's a scenario where Malon Place is forced to restrict his diet, though there's obvious caveats. It's one thing to limit his diet at the Malon Place cafeteria, like restricting what options he can choose, not letting him go for 3rd/4ths, etc., but it'll be a shitstorm if they stop him from getting food elsewhere.

and he still hasn't explained how the $100 someone else gives him will somehow get him a zoomer bae when the $100 he gets from the government doesn't. Its another one of his shitty manipulations and scams. This is his modern version of the ebay scam he admitted to pulling on some woman back in the 90s to pay his rent. Remember, he himself admitted he'll do it if he feels its justified to get him what he wants

That's what makes it all the worse TBH. His heart is obviously not into getting a zoomer bae with this shit because he would have mooed like he uncovered a novel approach that would certainly work this time. It's one thing for Lucas to unintentionally be manipulative, but it's a whole n'other when he's so awful at it when doing it purposefully. How's is that even possible????

I also like how he claims there are no republican women in spokane and how he totally never meets any. The fiance is very pro republican and was back in college when he was being creepy with her. So he has absolutely met a young republican woman in the age range he claims to want and is too stupid to know it.

Lucas has a case of Schrodinger's....well, anything really. XYZ is the case whenever something benefits him, but XYZ is also the case because of bigots. I mentioned it earlier in my Wernspergery but I'd LOVE to understand how he perceives reality. There's a saying I heard when I was a wee retard in the Army that goes "Perception is reality", which is astonishingly deep. I just want to understand how Lucas correlates the extremely obvious disconnect between the two without ever acknowledging the disconnect.

Another comment fatty will probably delete

Change "will probably" to "already has".

Same man thinks socialism means giving him money BTW.

 

[Da Dude123]

Oh, Tubby wants $100, does he? With a $100, he will surely land a hot Gen Z bae. He thinks that anyone is gonna be impressed with a 45 year old man having $100. That is just dumb. It's both dumb and it's autistic. What is he gonna do? Go up to some Gen Z bae at the park in his shirt he has worn for the past 3 days and say "hey, baby zoom-zoom. My name is Lucas and I think you're beautiful, why don't we got spend this $100 I was given on drinks at the Volstead Act?" Any young woman would be horrified at this smelly cow approaching them. And if he did that and was rejected, which he would be, he would moo and reee and cause a scene. He would be a total fat faggot about it.

Instead, he would claim some Gen Z men swooped on the scene on their Lime scooters and took out their credit cards and all the young women flocked to them, like the bigots they are. They're all supposed to be socialists. And then he would gorge himself on Prime Rib. That is what the mooo cow would do with $100.

 

[WonderWino]

The man could not comprehend that being paid in sandwiches was not a measure of success

The fact he literally thinks it does equal success shows just how fucked in the head he is. The fact he always eats it in the most bizarre ways even more so. I mean really, he makes a point of eating off of the literal sidewalk when he's outside and on horrifying motel beds when he's in the motel 6. I have no doubt that given the choice he'd absolutely take whatever mallon place feeds him back to his room and eat it shirtless on the bed. The only time you see him have even the tiniest of anything resembling normal table manners is when he's in an actual restaurant. and i'd bet good money that even that is a learned behavior resulting from trying to eat a steak or whatever with his hands and being told how inappropriate that was by staff at some point. I mean think about it - even the sketchiest deranged hobo normally finds a picnic table in some park or at least improvises something on his own when eating and doesn't put his food directly on the pavement. Lucas doesn't even put that much effort in. and when he's at the motel 6 there is a table and a small fridge and he ignores both - when he did the bragging video for the clinkerdaggers prime rib meal that could have fed 4+ people easily he took it all out and laid it on said table to brag about it in his video....and then picked up the steak in his hands, walked over to the bed and ate it like a fucking caveman with his shirt off....and then left the food out overnight instead of putting it in the fridge. Thats not even autistic, schizophrenic or predatory pedo behavior thats pure, legit low IQ actual stupidity behavior. He does it even when people point out how bizarre and inappropriate it is and he eats like a literal animal when given the opportunity - just look at that outback steak video. He sat in the chow hall at mall on place with people around eating his steak with his hands and tearing at it like a fucking dog. and I loathe to say that because my dog has better manners than that and will outright refuse to eat a steak that isn't cut up into bitesize pieces for her. He did that shit like it was the most normal thing ever. People must have been looking at him like he'd lost his mind, especially the staff. and offering people, including that woman, pieces of steak he literally just tore apart with his mouth is literal caveman behavior. Can you imagine the look a zoomer bae would get if she did take him up on his steak dinner invitation just to get a free meal and when the food came lucas just picked it up with his unwashed hands and started biting and tearing pieces off of it like he did in that video? No way in hell he wouldn't end up on some zoomers tiktok video as the worst date she'd ever had. Even the sleaziest incel would behave more civilized than that on a date. You have to wonder where that particular habit started. Did he do it as a kid? If so why did king roy and myrna let him get away with it long enough to be doing it decades later like its the most normal thing in the world? I know they're both idiots but who wants to watch that shit when they're eating

That shit is like that painting of saturn eating his children, same exact energy

His psych evaluations and therapist notes must really be something else

That shit is so weird because in the Geek Room podcast, he offered up the Jason Perva BJ story out of nowhere. I think he was trying to make a joke but who the hell knows.

The thing is lucas tends to be projecting when he comes up with stories like that out of nowhere, so i'm inclined to believe something did happen at some point. Also explains why he's so touchy about it and any hint at people thinking he is gay

I'm partial to the birthday hamburgers at Red Robin that are no longer free. I wonder if he discovered that change in person or manages to learn of that before he went.

That would require lucas thinking ahead and wondering about such things. I'd say its more likely he went there on his birthday one day, bragged about how he's there for his free birthday meal and got a look somewhere between watching someone kick his puppy and seething anger at not getting a totally free meal like the previous years. I wonder if he even had money on him when it happened. That would have infuriated him - to show up, sit down at his usual table and when ordering told it wasn't free anymore and having to waddle his fat ass out sheepishly cause he didn't have any money on him

I'm very curious if there's a scenario where Malon Place is forced to restrict his diet,

There is supposed to be. Nursing homes, like hospitals and prisons have to provide certain types of meals to people who require them based on things like allergies, as well as diabetic and renal diets for patients who require low sugar, low salt and low protein, liquid diets for those who can't swallow properly, fasting diets to prep for medical testing, etc... Whether they're enforcing it the way they're supposed to remains to be seen but if his kidneys give out because they didn't give him the renal diet they were supposed to the family could sue the fuck out of them for negligence. He's incapable of making competent decisions for himself or understanding the actual consequences for such things, which is why he has a payee and was put in mallon place in the first place, with the hole in his foot that had been there for months that he ignored. As far as going back for seconds, those places usually require residents to all be fed at least one meal before anyone is allowed to request more. Specifically to avoid somebody like lucas stuffing themselves enough that they come up short for others

They should just say fuck it and make him eat nothing put low protein, low salt, low sugar nutraloaf and refuse him any condiments. If they ever started doing shit like that I suspect he'd get angry enough before long to say fuck it and deliberately pop off to get himself kicked out, hoping that would mean going back on EBT

Lucas has a case of Schrodinger's....well, anything really. XYZ is the case whenever something benefits him, but XYZ is also the case because of bigots. I mentioned it earlier in my Wernspergery but I'd LOVE to understand how he perceives reality. There's a saying I heard when I was a wee retard in the Army that goes "Perception is reality", which is astonishingly deep. I just want to understand how Lucas correlates the extremely obvious disconnect between the two without ever acknowledging the disconnect.

Suddenly i'm reminded of that discussion between winston and o'brien about how reality is all in the mind and if both of them believed that one of them could float off the ground like a soap bubble then that was reality

So.... the wern does not have a girlfriend because the party does not wish it. It must be a primary tenant of wernsoc. Kind of fits with his ability to do the whole crimestop thing. Lucas would be the ideal outer party member if he wasn't so obsessed with food and sex. Though lucas getting arrested by the thought police and hauled off to the ministry of love because he couldn't stop ranting about the little girls of the junior anti sex league refusing to fuck him would be hilariously fitting. Though they might not even vaporize lucas in such a situation. They would probably be so irritated having to put up with him during his interrogation that they'd keep him locked up to use to torture people in room 101 by his mere presence. When you think about it that way, the whole winston screaming do it to julia instead takes on a whole new horrifying angle. I mean he'd really have to hate her at that point to wish the wern upon her

 

[HackerX]

Jesus LOL Christ, he's projecting again. Even though he never stopped.

Liberals are stealing leftists ideas and Lucas is a leftist. Therefore, liberals are stealing Lucas's ideas even though the only original ideas Lucas has ever had are about schizofrenic, incomprehensible board games. And those are less "ideas" and more free-flowing schozofrenic thoughts on paper.

THEN, the gall of liberals for profiteering off of those ideas. Quick reminder, Lucas is currently using a platform (YouTube) that is capitalism incarnate and claiming people should give him money because of socialism even though his contribution to socialism or capitalism has been a net negative for both sysrems. We did get two new phrases that haven't appeared in the Wernacular though. "Bum fuck Egypt" and "Right Wingastan".

More of this Lucas, please.
Starts off with "if you're anti-bigot" and I bet no one can guess where he went after. If you thought "age gap relationships where the man is older", you win! And anyone whose offended are bigots and should shut the feck up!! I'd love to know the origin story for Wernisms like "feck". My working theory is that Myrna got into him about using curse words growing up. Then autism took over, yada yada yada, and now we've got things like "feck" and "MEGA".

I'm actually pretty curious how he'd respond if someone started talking about age gap relationships where the woman is older. I don't recall him ever taking a particular stance, but you can obv infer what his thoughts imply. Well... At least until they immediately contradict themselves but what else can you expect.

- He espouses that his 18 year age difference between Suzanne and himself justifiies his entitlement to a zoomer bae. (Though he was early 30s instead of 18-24.)

- He's also stated a many number of times (stalker child) that the age of consent for males should be 30 at a minimum.
-----

Instead, he would claim some Gen Z men swooped on the scene on their Lime scooters and took out their credit cards and all the young women flocked to them, like the bigots they are. They're all supposed to be socialists. And then he would gorge himself on Prime Rib. That is what the mooo cow would do with $100.

The reliable Gen Z male. They've got everything Lucas doesn't. Flatbills. Jobs. Lexuses. 6 women hanging all over them. Then even know where the parties at and they refuse to tell Lucas. Assuming he lives long enough, I wonder if he'll just transfer all of his Gen Z woes to Gen Alpha and live in blissful ignorance that he has missed out impregnating yet another generation.

People must have been looking at him like he'd lost his mind, especially the staff. and offering people, including that woman, pieces of steak he literally just tore apart with his mouth is literal caveman behavior.

Wanna know something crazy? I rewatched it the other day and not only did Lucas legitimately offer the Skater boi sped a piece of steak (he doesn't tend to offer anything till it's almost gone or he's had his fill 3 times over), but the skater boi sped TOOK a piece from the hands of Lucas and ate that shit!!! It's insane in it's own right to accept ANY food offering from Lucas, but to take that offering from his very hands???? Especially something that's meant to use cutlery.

You have to wonder where that particular habit started. Did he do it as a kid? If so why did king roy and myrna let him get away with it long enough to be doing it decades later like its the most normal thing in the world? I know they're both idiots but who wants to watch that shit when they're eating

That is a good question. You'd think he regressed or some shit, but it's extremely reasonable that both parent gave up on him being normal in elementary school.

His psych evaluations and therapist notes must really be something else

On one hand, I'm very jealous of that individual and would kill to get his written medical/psychiatric records. On the other, I pity them as that has to be the most miserable, unfulfilling job in existence. Lucky for them, the duty is probably irregular and only lasts an hour a week if that.

That would require lucas thinking ahead and wondering about such things. I'd say its more likely he went there on his birthday one day, bragged about how he's there for his free birthday meal and got a look somewhere between watching someone kick his puppy and seething anger at not getting a totally free meal like the previous years. I wonder if he even had money on him when it happened. That would have infuriated him - to show up, sit down at his usual table and when ordering told it wasn't free anymore and having to waddle his fat ass out sheepishly cause he didn't have any money on

That's my bet since looking having any foresight would be a first. If it weren't Lucas, I'd feel pity about the very obvious special needs individual getting his hopes up and getting smacked down over shit like this. The least embarrassing (for Lucas) is he went with Myrna and that's when he found out.

It's insane how if Lucas could just somewhat tone down the insanity (on some areas a little, in others a lot), he could garner the sympathy he feels he's entitled to. Not quite enough for zoomer baes to bend over for anal fisting, but enough for people to help him navigate his defencies. Alas, Lucas is Lucas and therefore insane.

If they ever started doing shit like that I suspect he'd get angry enough before long to say fuck it and deliberately pop off to get himself kicked out, hoping that would mean going back on EBT

I'm deeply curious if he'd choose receiving his full tardbux over guaranteed food and shelter + 100 dollars a month. Homelessness is one of the rare things Lucas is familiar with, afraid of, and understands, but it also been a while since he's faced that possibility. He probably forgot!

Suddenly i'm reminded of that discussion between winston and o'brien about how reality is all in the mind and if both of them believed that one of them could float off the ground like a soap bubble then that was reality

I legitimately believe he thinks he could float like a soap bubble in that case which is bonkers considering his "God is imaginary" mooing.

 

[WonderWino]

That's my bet since looking having any foresight would be a first. If it weren't Lucas, I'd feel pity about the very obvious special needs individual getting his hopes up and getting smacked down over shit like this. The least embarrassing (for Lucas) is he went with Myrna and that's when he found out.

Speaking of lacking foresight, if lucas was a bit more intelligent and capable of actually coming up with some semblance of an actual plan for things I could absolutely see him being petty, greedy and entitled enough to try to get a bunch of fake ID's from someone, all identical except for different birthdays so he could use them to regularly exploit restaurants with free meals on your birthday policies. I also don't doubt for a second he wouldn't think far enough ahead to consider that doing that more than a couple of times would get noticed and staff would start questioning it. Lucas ending up on the news again for being such a food obsessed pig that he got busted with fake ID's doing such a thing would be peak wern behavior. But he absolutely would do it if he had the money to get the ID's and knew how to go about getting them. Especially if he found out there were steak dinners or sushi meals involved

I can also see him coming up with some crackpot convoluted plan to get a zoomer bae by bragging about how he knows somebody who could get them fake ID's so they could both get totally free steak dinners so he wouldn't have to put out any money himself, and congratulate himself about how brilliant his scam is, thinking he's found a secret method to outwit the credit card yielding flatbills and greybeards. Can you imagine showing up for a date and the guy pulls out a fake ID with your picture in it and todays date and tells you to show the waiter that and claim its your birthday so he didn't have to pay. He might just make the list of the cheapest and greediest people in washington state for that one. It would not go over the way he'd hope. Still less creepy than getting the ID's and trying to sell them to high school girls to get into bars like some creeps do at least, though I wouldn't put that past him either, especially if he realized what kind of money he could make from it. Though when he got busted doing it - and he would cause he's an idiot, the local media would have a field day with that one. "local deranged homeless man who admitted to being a pedo and made international news for creeping on teenage barista gets arrested for selling sketchy fake ID's to teenage girl' would be a real bad look for him

 

[HackerX]

Lucas mooing about people placing more value on diamonds than cubic zirconia. He's a super deep and complex individual and he can't even. He just can't!!! Now Gen Z baes, would you be interested in a monthly $100 steak dinner???

I may be insane, but either his hat is way too small or he's wearing it wrong. How does someone wear a hat wrong? I don't even know, but he is! The side of it is at least an inch and a half above his ear.

Speaking of lacking foresight, if lucas was a bit more intelligent and capable of actually coming up with some semblance of an actual plan for things

Thank God he's not. I can't imagine what the difference would be for his more creepy aspects. It's probably to his benefit that he isn't more intelligent because he'd certainly be in jail for doing something insanely depraved.

Can you imagine showing up for a date and the guy pulls out a fake ID with your picture in it and todays date and tells you to show the waiter that and claim its your birthday so he didn't have to pay.

Maybe I do wish he was smarter. Shit like this, and the resulting YouTube mooings, would be hilarious.

He might just make the list of the cheapest and greediest people in washington state for that one.

Greediest? Absolutely. Cheapest? Idk, he's only cheap out of circumstance. Obviously, he blows his monthly tardbux on food immediately, but treats everyday things like cars and housing as a supreme luxury. Hell, he doesn't moo about it much anymore, but King Roy's million dollar estate was his sales pitch to prospective zoomer baes. Lucas would love to blow his money on a namebrand product if he were able to. The diamond mooing in the YouTube clip above is ironic considering the guy would use that as a sales pitch too if he could.