💀 Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[HackerX]

Political Lucas is worst Lucas. He's "anarcho-communist" simply because he thinks it's the best way to win over zoomer girls while being a poor retard.

Political Lucas and Economical Lucas are the worst versions of Lucas and it's not even close. Ignoring him being a gigantic retard who's genuinely incapable of forming any coherent logic or rationale based on our shared reality (because that applies to every topic for Lucas), he puts the least effort into the show he attempts to put on with those topics. Basically, it's just like all his incoherent, blatant manipulation, but it's 'boringness' is amplified by the boring nature already native to those topics.

Lucas genuinely loves food, albeit in a bizarre, unnatural manner)

Lucas genuinely enjoys 'science', albeit he's a retard who doesn't understand any of it.

Lucas genuinely wants a zoomer bae, albeit in a way that only his schizofrenic, delusional, dysfunctional mind could want a zoomer bae.

Lucas doesn't care about politics/economics, doesn't want to understand politics/economics, and only dips his toes in when either:

- He sees other people having something that he doesn't.

- He believes it'll help him attract a zoomer bae.


In other news, I know there's been some debate recently on the authenticity of the TikTok. Personally, I'm generally 80/20 that it is him. The reasoning for why it isn't him is rock solid (i.e., never really posts anything that wasn't available on his Facebook or YouTube first), but I don't buy that for two reasons.

1) What's the game? I can kinda sorta get on board with it being an elaborate, slow-working, methodical troll, but the game has been going on for a while with no real indication they plan on reeling it in. Unless they're gambling solely on Lucas biting and reacting, you'd imagine a troll would have given up by now. Not that it takes a lot of effort to run a fake Lucas TikTok account, but it's also not a 'set it and forget it ' level of effort either.

2) The big reason for me at least. The posts and comments do not stray from Lucas's behavior whatsoever. Again, it's not like immitating Lucas is an impossible task (the dude is fundamentally identical to the same person he was when he was first discovered, if not his entire life), but to do it so long and so consistently without any semblance of a 'gotcha moment' is something only a completely deranged individual could pull off. Granted. Those types of people exist, and it's very plausible, I just don't think that's the case here. Hence why I'm 80/20, though that may change (in either direction) upon some confirmation.

With that being said. Hear ye, Hear ye. Lucas TikTok!

Spoiler: Tiktok

Lucas probably mad because someone said something he didn't like.

Pot, meet the extremely surreal kettle.

LOL

Lucas has no idea how people might interpret this as him wanting to fuck kids, LOL.

"We"

Lucas, you do not want to use those metrics (or any metrics really) to choose people for anything because they'll eventually look at you and let you die.

Food

If there is any indicator that Lucas didn't do DMT, this is it. LOL.

Yeah, he definitely didn't, LOL. He's just saying what he thinks he's supposed to say, which is somehow even more retarded because that's what he thinks he's supposed to say.


Poorly attempting to brag about himself and food are his greatest passions.

Lucas is trying to find the magic code that'll lead him to a zoomer bae again.

Same.

LOL. Yeah. Someone gave him a random vape cart and told him it was DMT. 100%.

Interdesting. V interdesting. Assuming this is true, I'm curious how Lucas will handle the struggle between his unnatural love of food and not wanting to eat.

He ain't got no idea what he's talking about.

Hopefully the "DMT" will make him start going on about how zoomers eating cheese means they want to fuck him soon.

Now time that may potentially validate the TikTok account is Lucas.

Unsure if he posted the video on Facebook, but the one on YouTube has a different audio.

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZT98LhY8HxsRC-GrU0Y/

Won't let me download, but it seems Lucas is discovering how to edit videos, LOL.

 

[WonderWino]

Lucas genuinely enjoys 'science', albeit he's a retard who doesn't understand any of it.

I'm not so sure lucas actually loves science. Notice that whenever he says or does anything science related its always either been an attempt to make others think he's more intelligent than he is by repeating shit he reads (like the stuff about space, the universe, etc..) or its an attempt to justify his creepy obsession with little girls (the telomere age gap breeding stuff) Even his college saga was, by his own admission, explicitly about trying to meet female students and 'blow their minds' with the things he assumed he would learn while in science classes. Also note that when it came to the actual science related classes themselves he hated every minute of it, couldn't do it very well and complained constantly, to the point he talked about wanting to drop it entirely in favor of becoming a 'college educated board game designer.' Not that such a program actually exists - game design courses are a thing but they aren't that specific and he'd have absolutely hated it.

That said, several of those tiktok posts make me very strongly suspect that it isn't actually lucas. The one where he talks about wanting to go to das stein haus doesn't sound like the way lucas talks or thinks at all. Its too specific, calm and coherent about reeing about things he considers hate. When he talks about that stuff he's always angry and does some kind of rant about it. The grape one as well comes off as not something lucas would say, worded in a way that makes it look like something someone thinks lucas would say. I'm not entirely sure there isn't a low key rape joke in there with the grape stuff, given his history and lucas isn't that clever (and wouldn't make such jokes about himself even if he was) Not to mention lucas wants a younger woman, he doesn't want one aging like a fine wine

The only thing that somewhat does make me think it may be lucas is the ozempic reference. It seemed odd that they would even consider giving it to him considering anybody spending any time around him knows hes a compulsive eater and would know that one way or another he'd just eat himself back into obesity. Same reason why he'd never be approved for weight loss surgeries. But I did a little digging and I noticed this:

That got my attention. We know he's got bad beetus that he accidentally admitted it got worse and its apparently useful in slowing the progression of renal failure. Lucas i'm sure knows the drug exists but I doubt he is aware of that. I could definitely see his doctor taking a look at his current health and despite the risks of taking ozempic, would give it to him, more for his kidneys than anything else, and not actually tell lucas that is what its for and just state its standard use - weight loss. Lucas would be eager to agree to it as he would see it as the easy way to get thinner and totally make him more likely to get a zoomer bae and eat more while doing it, without exercise

EDIT:


LO fucking L

Lucas finally figured out chatbots and fake accounts on dating sites are a thing. and even then he fucks it up and can't get it right and thinks they're both a recent invention and a result of AI

No lucas, chatbots on dating sites have been around for as long as dating sites themselves have. They are not new

That said, watch, he'll start accusing everybody on these sites who refuses to date him of being a bot now

 

[The Garden]

Lucas. I'd call them Lucas.

 

[HackerX]

LO fucking L

Lucas finally figured out chatbots and fake accounts on dating sites are a thing. and even then he fucks it up and can't get it right and thinks they're both a recent invention and a result of AI

No lucas, chatbots on dating sites have been around for as long as dating sites themselves have. They are not new

That said, watch, he'll start accusing everybody on these sites who refuses to date him of being a bot now

I can not wait for the inevitable anti-AI mooing considering his utter reliance on it to fail at proving his points and insistence that AI will lead to the bum utopia that exists only on his mind.

What's even funnier is, even though he's finally acknowledging bots exist (even though the specific scheme he's referring to has been a thing for probably 10 years now), I really don't think he'll realize it. He 100% still believes that all the bots who reply to him are real humans and the thought bubble that does "okay, this one is for sure a bot" will never ever ever cross his mind despite acknowledging it today.

 

[WonderWino]

I can not wait for the inevitable anti-AI mooing considering his utter reliance on it to fail at proving his points and insistence that AI will lead to the bum utopia that exists only on his mind.

What's even funnier is, even though he's finally acknowledging bots exist (even though the specific scheme he's referring to has been a thing for probably 10 years now), I really don't think he'll realize it. He 100% still believes that all the bots who reply to him are real humans and the thought bubble that does "okay, this one is for sure a bot" will never ever ever cross his mind despite acknowledging it today.

Dating site chatbots go back to the very late 90s and early 2000s and never really fooled anybody except retards like lucas and like you said he no doubt thinks most of the people he talked to are real, as even he knows accepting anything else would prove he isn't too bright. It really makes me wonder how long he could be fooled by a really good actual AI chatbot before he finally figured it out. Bonus points to the bot if, being AI based it had access to lucas's own history and told him what he wanted to hear, before saying something he hated like its not in the cards. You really have to wonder how he'd square that in his head - claiming AI is going to end all jobs and make the world a workless paradise, yet also fuck him over and prevent him from getting a zoomer bae. Besides, it never crosses his mind that even if such a scenario did somehow happen, that he'd have even less to offer a zoomer bae as in his imaginary paradise eveyrthing would be just as free and accessible to them, if not moreso cause they aren't pants shitting retards like lucas. So even being able to buy a whore or offer a golddigger money if he was rich wouldn't get him what he wanted at that point

Sometimes I wonder if his own delusions try to keep him in the shitshow of a life he has in some subconscious way to keep him from going insane or doing something to get himself killed. Like there is some kind of internal sabotage going on lucas isn't aware of. I mean he already admits the voices on the wind keep telling him things about himself he doesn't want to hear, hence the headphonesm which must drive him even crazier cause its in his head and he can't just ree and block them outright

He blew some money on getting his game made and shipped to him. He also posted it to fb with statement about how his dad told him he should be an inventor

So, somehow he had the money to do that but was begging only a few days ago for people to give him $5 so he could get that license so he could cook. So why didn't you just use the money for that instead lucas? Perfect example of his awful money management and reason he isn't allowed control over his finances. Its a literal childs mentality - buying a literal game instead of what he claimed to need

Also, just wait until lucas finds out about this if they did one of these on some bar on post street he would absolutely blow a gasket

 

[Fanatical Pragmatist]

Political Lucas is worst Lucas. He's "anarcho-communist" simply because he thinks it's the best way to win over zoomer girls while being a poor retard.

He also thinks its the best way to just get free food and shelter without having to worry about going to jail for pedo shit.

I can not wait for the inevitable anti-AI mooing considering his utter reliance on it to fail at proving his points and insistence that AI will lead to the bum utopia that exists only on his mind.

What's even funnier is, even though he's finally acknowledging bots exist (even though the specific scheme he's referring to has been a thing for probably 10 years now), I really don't think he'll realize it. He 100% still believes that all the bots who reply to him are real humans and the thought bubble that does "okay, this one is for sure a bot" will never ever ever cross his mind despite acknowledging it today.

The problem is we know Lucas uses AI to make creepy images of teenage girls.

 

[HackerX]

The problem is we know Lucas uses AI to make creepy images of teenage girls.

Oh yeah. His dysfunctional mind will compartmentalize AI as only Lucas could do. AI will be the supreme research assistant that proves how super smart Myrna's baby boy is and the savior that frees the working class to establish his anarcho-communist utopia while simultaneously, while simultaneously being this horrible thing that replaces all the zoomer baes on dating sites to ensure he never talks to a real human.

Can't wait to see his schizofrenic brain's constant failure to reconcile that conflict.

 

[WonderWino]

Oh yeah. His dysfunctional mind will compartmentalize AI as only Lucas could do. AI will be the supreme research assistant that proves how super smart Myrna's baby boy is and the savior that frees the working class to establish his anarcho-communist utopia while simultaneously, while simultaneously being this horrible thing that replaces all the zoomer baes on dating sites to ensure he never talks to a real human.

Can't wait to see his schizofrenic brain's constant failure to reconcile that conflict.

Speaking of myrna, lucas is bragging about a sauce she supposedly taught him to make and revealed his latest nightmare meal:

I had no idea wtf zwan was so I looked it up and its some kind of shit tier chicken spam and expensive as fuck for that kind of thing. Shit thats more than I pay for a can of that hereford corned beef and thats about the highest quality shit on the market

But yeah, he fried the chicken spam in olive oil (you're not supposed to fry shit in olive oil lucas, everybody knows that), then covered it in a 'rich mustard and brown sugar sauce' that soaked the meat in in the microwave for some bizarre reason, and then put the meat back on the fucking stove to fry AGAIN in the sauce. and then brags about how he totally used stone ground mustard not just the shitty yellow stuff. and of course he says his mother taught him this method. Retard that myrna is I somehow doubt she was cooking anything that particular way

That spam must have been like chewing a brake pad covered in shitty sauce by the time he finished cooking it. Its fucking spam lucas it doesn't need to be cooked, let alone cooked THREE TIMES

and speaking of myrna....


Because of course she make a textbook narc mom post like that


Yeah, that was totally a good idea to post to your boomer idiot friends myrna. Can't say i'm too surprised though

 

[HackerX]

and speaking of myrna....


Because of course she make a textbook narc mom post like that


Yeah, that was totally a good idea to post to your boomer idiot friends myrna. Can't say i'm too surprised though

It's a great shame we'll never get to see her instant reaction when someone mentions Lucas to her. My mind conjures two relatively vivid images for how that plays out:

1) This ones not really pertaining to Dr. Nigga, but where Myrna hears someone mention the name 'Lucas' in general, without referring to her Lucas. (i.e., someone saying the word 'Lucas' with no additional context). Myrna, being the deranged boomer that she is, seizes the opportunity to gab over having a son named Lucas, and brags about his board games, science fascination, or some dumb shit like that.

Ofc, this reaction has almost nothing to do with the Lucas we all know and love, and is something that she almost certainly does at any opportunity regardless of the topic or subject matter. She absolutely loves talking and/or bragging about about herself, to impress people (sound familiar, LOL??), simply because she's:

A) An old woman
B) A boomer
C) A deranged narcissistic retard

(Note: This is assuming the captive audience is unaware of Dr. Nigga and his antics.)

2) The one I'd really love to see. Where someone who's aware of her Lucas, and his antics, asks her about him. There'd almost certainly be that initial reaction where she's caught off guard, closes her mouth, and flashes a wide, nervous smile. Ofc, it'd look naturally crazy and insane because we've all seen it. It looks damn near identical to Lucas's deranged smile, making the fact that was something he inherited from Myrna all the more laughably ridiculous.

I'm less certain of her reaction after that. On one hand, it makes the most sense that she'd just shut up, continue to smile uncomfortably, and give one word answers until the topic shifts. Though, for the reasons I listed above (narcissistic boomer), I can't really see that. I'd imagine she quickly provides a non-answer and abruptly, forcefully attempts to move the topic elsewhere. Either way, Myrna is absolutely terrified of having to talk about Lucas with people who know about Lucas. The real question is how badly does it freak her out?

Rightfully so. Lucas is a schizofrenic lunatic living under constant, taxpayer-funded supervision 24/7, who's crazily obsessed with teenage females and food all day. Except he's her son, who's a direct product of her upbringing, which is a cruel fact Myrna will never be able to escape from.

I guess that what makes it so funny. The way she treats Lucas now is nearly identical to how she raised him (i.e., basically ignored him without ever really acknowledging any of his significant challenges), but she'll never escape the bindings of Dr. Nigga. No matter how much she ignores Lucas, pretending he doesn't exist (because that camouflages him from her narcissistic mind's consciousness), she'll forever be chained to the fact he's a product of her, as much as she wishes otherwise. The fact that she's his mother and he's her son, drives her up a fucking wall and I love it.

 

[WonderWino]

2) The one I'd really love to see. Where someone who's aware of her Lucas, and his antics, asks her about him. There'd almost certainly be that initial reaction where she's caught off guard, closes her mouth, and flashes a wide, nervous smile. Ofc, it'd look naturally crazy and insane because we've all seen it. It looks damn near identical to Lucas's deranged smile, making the fact that was something he inherited from Myrna all the more laughably ridiculous.

I'm less certain of her reaction after that. On one hand, it makes the most sense that she'd just shut up, continue to smile uncomfortably, and give one word answers until the topic shifts. Though, for the reasons I listed above (narcissistic boomer), I can't really see that. I'd imagine she quickly provides a non-answer and abruptly, forcefully attempts to move the topic elsewhere. Either way, Myrna is absolutely terrified of having to talk about Lucas with people who know about Lucas. The real question is how badly does it freak her out?

Rightfully so. Lucas is a schizofrenic lunatic living under constant, taxpayer-funded supervision 24/7, who's crazily obsessed with teenage females and food all day. Except he's her son, who's a direct product of her upbringing, which is a cruel fact Myrna will never be able to escape from.

I guess that what makes it so funny. The way she treats Lucas now is nearly identical to how she raised him (i.e., basically ignored him without ever really acknowledging any of his significant challenges), but she'll never escape the bindings of Dr. Nigga. No matter how much she ignores Lucas, pretending he doesn't exist (because that camouflages him from her narcissistic mind's consciousness), she'll forever be chained to the fact he's a product of her, as much as she wishes otherwise. The fact that she's his mother and he's her son, drives her up a fucking wall and I love it.

I suspect the way she would react to having lucas brought up by someone she knows is aware of him depends on how many of her friends around. If she was alone she might go full condescending and tell the person to fuck off and mind their own business, or try to low key threaten them like she has tried before with the whole 'if he kills himself we'll consider him your victim and go after you legally' she tried to pull a few times before figuring out the people she tried it on weren't going to be intimidated or kept quiet that easily. If there were others around she would be very concerned with what they might hear and thus be prone to ask questions about or start googling lucas's name. At that point she may try to low key try to reason with the person and get them to go away as quickly as possible - no doubt following that up with going over to her friends and when asked what that was about, accuse the person of being some psycho cyber harasser of her dear sweet innocent lucas and one of the people completely and totally responsible for making lucas act out, because it absolutely isn't lucas's fault or especially not hers

As for her immediate reaction to realizing this is a person knows about lucas would likely be a moment or two of sheer panic as she wonders how much this person knows about lucas, what she can bullshit about if he says anything and how likely it is that she'll get called on it if she tries it. If that person happens to be someone in her friend group or otherwise known to said group I suspect she would be scared shitless at the idea if this person starting to ask questions about why the things she has said about lucas to them paint him as a very different person to what a google search says. She would he horrified if one of those friends exposed who and what lucas really is to the rest of her friends. She's too narcissistic and too much like lucas to tolerate it. I have no doubt that if such a thing ever happened or such information somehow leaked out to her friends and they started asking her about lucas in a serious way that she'd blow a gasket internally and as soon as the conversation was over and she bs'd them as best she could, she would hurry over to larry and demand they pack up and move to a different city, and probably would chastise lucas himself for drawing too much attention, as well as sending another round of threatening messages to wernologists talking about him more that she likes online. Hell klickitat would probably get a not so nice message or two and I wouldn't put it entirely past her to find out about this site and send an email to null himself to demand lucas's thread be removed or else she'll sic her lawyer after him for harassing her poor innocent disabled son who dindunuffin, Not to do lucas any favors but to try to eliminate the most extensive archive of lucas's history so her friends can't find out about him

I'm sure any letter she sent to null would be quite amusing and would be as threatening as she could come up with. If it ever happens here is to hoping null replies the way he should in this case, by calling her out for being a manipulative, psycho narc mom who enables her psycho pedo son. She would be fucking LIVID at such a response

Nothing in that video makes any sense, least of all the setup instructions

EDIT:

He posts the 'end' of the game. Fuck, even by wern standards this game is pure gibberish. Its a board game that doesn't even include a board and has nonsensical instructions. Whatever he is doing in that video only makes sense in lucas's fucked up brain. and note that he's not playing with anybody else and disabled the comments


Yet another example of lucas describing his own behavior and projecting it onto everybody else. His lack of self awareness and narcissism knows no bounds

 

[Stinkyboy]

aw, i hope someone archived those videos since bitchboy deleted them

 

[OopUntilYouVibe]

aw, i hope someone archived those videos since bitchboy deleted them

You missed nothing. It’s a bunch of nonsense strewn all over a table. Board game Lucas might be the worst. This one didn’t even have a board. I wonder what made him delete the videos. As much as political Lucas sucks, sometimes he gets some funny hate on those ones. Nobody ever interacts with the board games.

 

[Da Dude123]

You missed nothing. It’s a bunch of nonsense strewn all over a table. Board game Lucas might be the worst. This one didn’t even have a board. I wonder what made him delete the videos. As much as political Lucas sucks, sometimes he gets some funny hate on those ones. Nobody ever interacts with the board games.

The only time I really found board game Lucas funny or interesting was his idea for a game called "Dance of the Telomeres". That was a very autistic idea, not that all his other games aren't autistic. That and when he was in his college student era and tried setting up some of his stupid board games in a common area of the community college and thought a bae would be interested. He was wearing his batman pantaloonies.

 

[BPD Gunt Rider]

Board Game "Designer" Lucas is boring and it gets tiring quickly seeing him autistically babble about his convoluted rules and then he drops it for another one. But, at least it's a harmless hobby that keeps his mind occupied and a healthy cope.

 

[WonderWino]

He reuploaded the game video for some reason:

and of course he's back to turning the comments off. Gee I wonder why


More communist idiocy and not understanding there is no such thing as anarchocommunism


and he has started in on the bernie shit again. That proposal makes no sense at all and if you could get that kind of money it would be better spent being put into any number of other things, especially infrastructure. There is no legitimate reason to just hand out 12k to families. Let alone 3k to people like lucas. He would just spent it on food and trying to creep on little girls like he always does. He just wants a permanent covid stimulus money situation so he can stuff himself like a pig and never has to work for it. Lucas does not understand how much handing that money out fucked things up

EDIT:


He thinks that this is something to brag about. Its also clear he did not make it. Its definitely one of those frozen meals from the store. So is that vegetable and nut mix


No he doesn't and every commie revolution in history had some kind of vanguard party lucas

 

[Da Dude123]

The cow is raiding the food banks again. I bet he gets as much as they allow him to take. His latest brag is some cold fried chicken, already cooked. Put it in a 400 degree air fryer for 10 minutes. The greedy cow really thinks he is entitled.

 

[Stinkyboy]

That is not crisping back up.... That is cremating the chicken

 

[OopUntilYouVibe]

This showed up on my Facebook feed


Uh oh. Lucas got big mad at that. I looked at the group and it’s all shitty engagement bait for idiots. Not surprising at all that Lucas is an active member of a group like that.

 

[VoidFace]

I found this funny. Apparently YouTube now uses AI to study your videos and make suggestions about what you should make next. This mindless AI has a much better understanding of the Wern than the Wern himself:

 

[WonderWino]

I found this funny. Apparently YouTube now uses AI to study your videos and make suggestions about what you should make next. This mindless AI has a much better understanding of the Wern than the Wern himself:

If lucas sees those he is going to be pissed. He's already starting to despise AI cause of the whole dating site bot stuff, despite also praising it claiming it will lead to a communist utopia where everything is somehow free, but the fact its evaluating his content and generating accurate descriptions of his idiocy and unsuitability as a boyfriend will make him go absolutely bonkers at AI related shit. Espcially cause he knows its true. I could legitimately see that making him fuck off from youtube for good because he doesn't want it saying that shit about him