💀 Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

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Lucas had it pointed out to him that he was talking bs before and that letters like thorn used to exist. Now he is trying to convince people he is smart by saying they should be brought back and that more sound substitution letters should be added to english

He is clearly unaware of why they were removed in the first place. They are not needed in modern english

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It looks like he spilled the beans on the name of woman he has fixated on as his target this time. Her name is kylie. He clearly learned nothing from the shit that went down with victoria at mallon place and I doubt things will go any better for him this time. He's literally doing the same food offering shit he did with victoria when he started creeping on her. Only this time he thinks he's being clever about it and including stuff he makes himself to totally prove he can cook for her and therefore brings something to the table to date him. It won't work, just like it never worked any other time he did it and when he makes a more overt move he'll get shot down. Lucas had better watch it, if he gets weird about it she might just spaz out on him and call him on his shit and tell him to stop creeping on her instead of being nicer about it and claiming the whole 'I have a bf' thing victoria did to try to make lucas take a hint (which if course he didn't and convinced himself it was now a competition with the guy, also a recurring theme in lucas's history)

At least he posted a youtube video of it at the same time this time. Though oddly with different music
and of course he left all the fucking grease from the bacon in the pan when he poured the egg in. wtf is it with him and making greasy as fuck eggs? No wonder hes shitting all the time

I wonder if he'll start leaving bundles of sticks as offerings for kylie at some point. I would laugh my ass off if he did. But regardless its only a matter of time before he makes a more overt move and gets shot down. Probably far nicer than he would be if kylie was aware of lucas's history with suzanne and how that ended
 
There are letters for ch, th etc even in English.
and how the fuck did he make crab taste like cheese?
Either Lucas's tastebuds are broken, or he believes cheese is a viable tactic to attract zoomer baes.
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It looks like he spilled the beans on the name of woman he has fixated on as his target this time. Her name is kylie. He clearly learned nothing from the shit that went down with victoria at mallon place and I doubt things will go any better for him this time.
LOL. He's basically a lovestruck kindergartener every time he's fawning over a woman.
He's literally doing the same food offering shit he did with victoria when he started creeping on her. Only this time he thinks he's being clever about it and including stuff he makes himself to totally prove he can cook for her and therefore brings something to the table to date him. It won't work, just like it never worked any other time he did it and when he makes a more overt move he'll get shot down.
Sounds like something a bigot would say...
 
If it were someone smarter, I'd say all he can taste is pennies, but he says cheese to cover up the kidney failure. But, it's Lucas, so who fucking knows.
 
If it were someone smarter, I'd say all he can taste is pennies, but he says cheese to cover up the kidney failure. But, it's Lucas, so who fucking knows.
Cheese is beyond impressive to Lucas for some reason, and I'm not sure why that's the case besides food. Yeah, it's generally fatty, salty, and savory, which Lucas favors most out of food, but there's something about cheese that makes him revere it differently than other food. Maybe if he were a legitimate cheese conniseur who shopped at those gigafancy markets that specialize in cheese, but this retard couldn't taste the difference between any of that and a moldy Kraft single.

I guess what I want to know is just what makes him hold the taste of cheese in such high? We obviously know why he'll say X random abortion he conjures, that is on a completely different end of the spectrum, tastes like cheese. He's got no theory of mind and obsesses over all food, especially cheese, but why is it a fucking delicacy in his mind?



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Oh God. The sped is making schizofrenic Tetris.
 
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Yeah, it's generally fatty, salty, and savory
Which is probably exactly what Lucas means by "tastes like cheese".

His tastebuds are fried, so he probably just tastes "fatty x salty x savory" (which can obviously cover a wide range of tastes from peanut butter to brisket) he just assumes "cheese".

It looks like he spilled the beans on the name of woman he has fixated on as his target this time. Her name is kylie.
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Which is probably exactly what Lucas means by "tastes like cheese".

His tastebuds are fried, so he probably just tastes "fatty x salty x savory" (which can obviously cover a wide range of tastes from peanut butter to brisket) he just assumes "cheese".
The sad, and most horrifying thing, is this is probably the most apt explanation. Plus I suspect he imagines cheese as some sort of zoomer aphrodisiac because it is an aphrodisiac to him.

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This is making me LOL more than typical. I'm not sure if it's:

- The begging for $5. I'm sure the zoomer baes will throw themselves towards a very mature and stable, 45 year old man, begging for $5.

- The "So close. So very close." Like nigga. What is even close to $5? 0$? MAYBE he's referring to the date being close, but

- Why would the date being close mean anything when the retard gets high all the time regardless? Like seriously, the sped doesn't do anything besides get high and cook inedible abortions

- The fact the sped didn't link his cashapp, LOL. Not like he ever receives any money anyways outside of once in a blue moon when dummies send him shit.

Also, I don't know shit about buying weed, but at $5, Lucas is probably getting tricked with absolute trash. Isn't he?
 
Lucas is nearly 50 years old and doesn't have 5 dollars, and plans on using it for drugs.

Myrna, I want to build a time machine not even to buy winning lotto tickets but to kick your stupid uterus so hard.
 
Lucas is nearly 50 years old and doesn't have 5 dollars, and plans on using it for drugs.

Myrna, I want to build a time machine not even to buy winning lotto tickets but to kick your stupid uterus so hard.
Twist ending: thats exactly how lucas ended up the way he is, you created a time machine, went back, kicked her in the uterus multiple times but instead of causing the pregnancy to fail it created a boostrap paradox and led to lucas being the sped that he is

Remember, with all those hundreds of millions of sperm lucas was somehow the fastest. Really makes you wonder what abomindations the others would have led to

If lucas could pull it off he would absolutely force myrnas legs open and crawl back into her womb, if only to get the free food, free housing and return to the only time he's ever been anywhere near a smart, pretty, interesting womans womb, as lucas would put it. He would then get pissy about the lack of wifi signal in there and his inability to doordash clinkerdaggers past her cervix

Also, the post about lucas begging for $5 seems to have disappeared. I take it facebook deleted it as they likely don't approve of people soliciting money to buy drugs openly like that
 
Also, I don't know shit about buying weed, but at $5, Lucas is probably getting tricked with absolute trash. Isn't he?
Celebrating 4/20 after the age of like 16 is super fuckin lame, doesn’t surprise me Lucas is attempting to partake. While I doubt he can get an ounce for 5$, I know you can get some absolute dogshit “weed” these days for pretty damn cheap. Maybe he is planning to pool his 5$ together with some other fellow retards.

Edit: Lucas implies he is good at sex and has “good dick energy”. Few things wrong with these claims Lucas, the first one being you are a morbidly obese diabetic nearing 50 who hasn’t had sex with a woman in close to 15 years, if ever. Another thing is you admittedly have a tiny penis, a “mega micro” as you yourself has so eloquently described it, and it’s not terribly difficult to find pictures of it online if one wished to do so.

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Celebrating 4/20 after the age of like 16 is super fuckin lame, doesn’t surprise me Lucas is attempting to partake. While I doubt he can get an ounce for 5$, I know you can get some absolute dogshit “weed” these days for pretty damn cheap. Maybe he is planning to pool his 5$ together with some other fellow retards.

Edit: Lucas implies he is good at sex and has “good dick energy”. Few things wrong with these claims Lucas, the first one being you are a morbidly obese diabetic nearing 50 who hasn’t had sex with a woman in close to 15 years, if ever. Another thing is you admittedly have a tiny penis, a “mega micro” as you yourself has so eloquently described it, and it’s not terribly difficult to find pictures of it online if one wished to do so.

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Oh that dumbass mf LOVES 4/20. Every year he posts about it as if it’s a major holiday like Christmas or the Fourth of July. He assumes that everyone celebrates it and does things like go to “4/20 parties” (which sure, might be a thing for stoner high school and college kids but no one else) and that everyone is thinking about and preparing for the huge holiday of 4/20 days/weeks in advance. He was SO pissed in 2020 because the whole month of April that year was 4/(20)20 and he “couldn’t go to 4/20 parties” because of it, but that he was sure all of the irresponsible kids were anyway!! 💀

Also wow, talking about PukeAss in 2020 made me realize that next year, I’ll have been following his dumb ass antics for 10 years lmfao.
 
Remember, with all those hundreds of millions of sperm lucas was somehow the fastest. Really makes you wonder what abomindations the others would have led to
My theory is that the rest of the Elk King's sperm ran slow that day because they all wanted to play a really funny joke.
Also, the post about lucas begging for $5 seems to have disappeared. I take it facebook deleted it as they likely don't approve of people soliciting money to buy drugs openly like that
I still see it.
Edit: Lucas implies he is good at sex and has “good dick energy”. Few things wrong with these claims Lucas, the first one being you are a morbidly obese diabetic nearing 50 who hasn’t had sex with a woman in close to 15 years, if ever. Another thing is you admittedly have a tiny penis, a “mega micro” as you yourself has so eloquently described it, and it’s not terribly difficult to find pictures of it online if one wished to do so.

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I have serious doubts Werner's wiener has stood at attention in at least a decade, if not longer. He's old, fat, unhealthy, and occasionally forced to ingest medication that includes erectile dysfunction as a side effect. That's a completely typical recipe, if not normal and natural explanation for most men. Well, except for the meds part, and that's not even all that far off outside of Lucas being on heavy duty boner-killer meds. (When he's even on meds, LOL. Queue his regular post about him blaming Suzanne for going off his pills and how he'll never ever do it again.)

Hell, I'm pretty sure he's not nearly the menace he once was is because his libido has a abandoned hint, and the only reason he mentions zoomer baes is because his broken mind can't adjust to any change whatsoever.
Oh that dumbass mf LOVES 4/20. Every year he posts about it as if it’s a major holiday like Christmas or the Fourth of July. He assumes that everyone celebrates it and does things like go to “4/20 parties” (which sure, might be a thing for stoner high school and college kids but no one else) and that everyone is thinking about and preparing for the huge holiday of 4/20 days/weeks in advance. He was SO pissed in 2020 because the whole month of April that year was 4/(20)20 and he “couldn’t go to 4/20 parties” because of it, but that he was sure all of the irresponsible kids were anyway!! 💀

Also wow, talking about PukeAss in 2020 made me realize that next year, I’ll have been following his dumb ass antics for 10 years lmfao.
What's funny isn't even that he's a stereotypical weedbro, but he's the worst stereotype of it imaginable. Not only will he go on and on and on about his schizofrenic science that is absurdly detached from reality, but it's so patently retarded that it achieves the exact opposite response that he's hoping for.

Then ofc like you mentioned, you've got him fetishizing weed day because he thinks it makes him enlightened or some dumb shit. Even if the dude wasn't a schizofrenic moron, he's a terrible advocate for weed.
 
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Hitler’s birthday is actually a pretty big deal, dood,
Unfortunately, Lucas's brain is like 1-bit CPU that can't store more than one thought for any given thing. The fact that 4-20 is also Hitler's birthday will never and can never dawn on him.

Facebook is being weird as fuck because I'm seeing posts posts that people saw yesterday that I didn't see on his profile yesterday, but am now seeing. Or where people weren't seeing posts that I was seeing yesterday. Who the hell knows what's going on with that shitty website.
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Oh man, he's really throwing out some real zingers that Myrna would be proud of. What's next? That republicans are secretly gay? (Why yes. That will be next. Lucas will hurl this new, never before seen insult, and the zoomer baes will throw themselves at him.)
 
Twist ending: thats exactly how lucas ended up the way he is, you created a time machine, went back, kicked her in the uterus multiple times but instead of causing the pregnancy to fail it created a boostrap paradox and led to lucas being the sped that he is

Remember, with all those hundreds of millions of sperm lucas was somehow the fastest. Really makes you wonder what abomindations the others would have led to

If lucas could pull it off he would absolutely force myrnas legs open and crawl back into her womb, if only to get the free food, free housing and return to the only time he's ever been anywhere near a smart, pretty, interesting womans womb, as lucas would put it. He would then get pissy about the lack of wifi signal in there and his inability to doordash clinkerdaggers past her cervix

Also, the post about lucas begging for $5 seems to have disappeared. I take it facebook deleted it as they likely don't approve of people soliciting money to buy drugs openly like that
This legit got a good LOL.

I think Mryna is also aware Lucas would crawl into her womb ala Barbchu if he could.

I think it's hilarious too Lucas is implying he's got good dick energy, a man who admitted years ago, he can't get it up when he was in much better health. Also jerking off to CP isn't what i'd call BDE. If any woman found out what he jerks off to they would need a shrink.

For how much he hates Joe Rogan he's just another retard bald "dude weed" like him. Joe for all his faults does try to educate himself. He's often quite humble with his guests he knows he's fucking retarded (he once said he loved the tweet where someone said he's a retarded Genghis Kahn asking smart people questions). It's not just the pot and hair issues that make them alike, the uh god stuff, the fact they are old... Joe has been successful and isn't a sicko. For those alone he's better than Lucas, not that it's a hard bar to pass, and I'm not some die hard Joe hater just wanted to point out like always Lucas is more like a "right wing dude bro" than he wants to admit.

With pot being more and more legal and easier to get, I'm actually shot because of funny mustache man and the Columbine murders 4/20 hasn't been "canceled", but it'll be fun if his buddy trolls play stupid about weed and call him a nazi or pro shooting kids (Lucas just wants to shoot IN kids big difference)

Lucas is trying to claim others are hypocrites because they are mean. So his logic means he's a billionaire. I bet he said that to larp harder as rich. He really acts like people can't afford to eat, more than once a day.

In regards to that, batch cook day beef AND pork ribs today, been prepped and sitting in some home made dry rub (pro tip tiny bit of finely grounded coffee works super well instant works in a pinch). We'll have enough to eat all week can chop some of the meat off if we get bored of playing cave man and make BBQ sandwiches or toss on top of salads etc.
 
If there is one saga that I'm looking forward to, it's going to be the dialysis saga. When you undergo dialysis, you need to be on an extremely strict diet so that you aren't on the machine for an ungodly amount of time. The diet basically has you eating extremely bland food that has also been strained of almost all water. You are also required to limit your fluid intake and types of fluid. The only way he'd ever survive this saga is if he's permanently attached to a dialysis machine since he will never have the discipline to handle such a diet, let alone attempt it.

(Source: I have a relative on dialysis that's pretty bad with keeping up with the diet and is definitely on the spectrum)
 
For how much he hates Joe Rogan he's just another retard bald "dude weed" like him. Joe for all his faults does try to educate himself. He's often quite humble with his guests he knows he's fucking retarded (he once said he loved the tweet where someone said he's a retarded Genghis Kahn asking smart people questions). It's not just the pot and hair issues that make them alike, the uh god stuff, the fact they are old... Joe has been successful and isn't a sicko. For those alone he's better than Lucas, not that it's a hard bar to pass, and I'm not some die hard Joe hater just wanted to point out like always Lucas is more like a "right wing dude bro" than he wants to admit.
Lucas is a wholly separate category of weed bro unto himself.

- You've got the Rogan category, whose generally an advocate for the benefits of psychedelics (i.e., mental and spiritual), along with calling out it's relative harmlessness.

-- Funnily enough, Lucas is the exact specific type of person who is harmed by psychedelic consumption. I'm very curious what someone, whose stance is similar to Joe Rogan's, would say about Lucas and psychedelics. Anyone who isn't delusional would certainly be super, hyper mega against Lucas partaking in any mind-altering substance like weed, much less shit like acid, DMT, shrooms, etc.--

- You've got the hippies and crystal people, whomst I'd argue aren't quite the same category as Joe Rogan. I'm talking about the ones that rip out the tarot decks, have braids, potentially live in commune-esque environments, etc.

- Then you have the more stereotypical weedbro that comes to mind for most people. The type that wake and bake, do nothing but eat chips and play video games all day, etc. You know. The ones who'll get zooted to the moon and start incoherently go on about the universe, quantum physics, etc. Sound familiar???

However, Lucas has such a severe case of... being Lucas... that I think he's separated himself from the last category, and I'm not even sure where that separation really takes place. The last one generally has friends, isn't nearly as retarded, and not inherently pedophilic (outside of trannies). Plus, Lucas tries so hard to broadcast weed as part of his personality, except it just isn't. It's like he wants to portray himself as bits and pieces of the first two categories, but has such a negligible (not even surface level understanding) that it all works against him. The most recent case being his DMT mooing a month or so ago.

Admittedly, I've never consumed DMT, but I'm probably more familiar with it than the average person whose never taken it. What stood out most to me is how his mooings read like someone, whose never taken DMT, but trying to describe it based on the headline descriptions. There are definitely advocates for DMT, and psychedelics in general, but they'd never describe the experience anywhere close to how Lucas did. They'd generally say it's a frightening, intense, eye opening experience, and would never ever ever label it as 'fun', because it's not. Responsible psychedelic consumption is intense as hell, and can fuck your mind up hard. (Hence why it's so heavily advised for literal schizophrenics to not take psychedelics, LOL.)

Whereas Lucas is basically explaining it as a casual, recreational drug where you see machine elves and have a jolly old time. Again, you can put weed in that category, but pretty much no one considers psychedelics beyond weed as fun. Interesting and insightful? Maybe, but never "fun".

Not just that either. Lucas's explanation for consumption was off. Admittedly, I'm not sure how different a DMT vape, but it's pretty common knowledge it's three hits, not two. As well as whatever he described for the takeoff. I can't recall what he said, but it felt like some generic shit he copied from elsewhere. Ofc, none of this is accounting for the financial and logistical aspects of Lucas even getting a DMT vape pen, which are pretty insurmountable for him since he's a broke, retarded sped.
With pot being more and more legal and easier to get, I'm actually shot because of funny mustache man and the Columbine murders 4/20 hasn't been "canceled", but it'll be fun if his buddy trolls play stupid about weed and call him a nazi or pro shooting kids (Lucas just wants to shoot IN kids big difference)
I'd like to see how that trolling would play out, though I suspect it'd mostly be Lucas initially playing (not really playing, LOL) dumb. Then he'd either immediately get defensive (without really knowing why he's getting defensive), or just let his disorganized mind take over and start talking about something else.
Lucas is trying to claim others are hypocrites because they are mean. So his logic means he's a billionaire. I bet he said that to larp harder as rich. He really acts like people can't afford to eat, more than once a day.
I'd kill for Lucas to explain his definition of 'hypocrite'. Not him copy/pasting some AI response or his lazy, patented "Google it", but his actual definition. I deeply suspect it'd come off basically as you described.
If there is one saga that I'm looking forward to, it's going to be the dialysis saga. When you undergo dialysis, you need to be on an extremely strict diet so that you aren't on the machine for an ungodly amount of time. The diet basically has you eating extremely bland food that has also been strained of almost all water. You are also required to limit your fluid intake and types of fluid. The only way he'd ever survive this saga is if he's permanently attached to a dialysis machine since he will never have the discipline to handle such a diet, let alone attempt it.

(Source: I have a relative on dialysis that's pretty bad with keeping up with the diet and is definitely on the spectrum)
There's no way he's not supposed to be on dialysis already, so I suspect his doctors simply decided to not bother. His quality of life is going to be shit either way. It's basically:

- No dialysis = Shorter life and more painful, but can still pig out

vs.

- Dialysis = Slightly longer life without having to deal with the intense pain of failed kidneys, but can't pig out.

There shouldn't be any reasonable expectation for Lucas to be responsible enough to not eat shit, so I have to imagine his medical professionals included that massive consideration. Not just for dialysis, but basically any medical decision for the sped

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Very insightful. I'm sure Lucas's audience cares.
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Same shit he's been posting for decades. Very exciting.
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Now this one, this is the type of content the people want Lucas. It's a vid, but I'll include the screenshots of text within it since it's basically a classic, sappy, and inspiring engagement bait slideshow.
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Oh boy. The type of video that entirely justifies Lucas's retarded thinking. I'm curious what the woman who posted this would say if she knew video was inspiring Lucas?

Edit: S'more
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1) LOL. Lucas couldn't define the words image, policy, or basically any of the other ones for that matter.

2) How nice of Lucas to advocate for other people since jobs don't concern him. Wait... I forgot this is the same dude that claimed being a schizofrenic retard is his job, and that he's also a job creator.
 
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Lucas is making shit up again

No lucas, that was never a thing for boomers or anybody else to be able to do all of that on minimum wage
I somehow don't think it ever dawns on him on that taxpayer money, instead of being spent on important stuff like tranny sex changes, 10 year road repair projects, and publicly funded sportsball stadiums, funds his entire existence. The sped unironically thinks that money just blips into reality out of nowhere. Hell, I don't even think he understands that his entire livelyhood is subsidized by money in the first place.


Lucas has finally graced us with more Tiktok mooing.
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So Lucas is talking about alcohol out of nowhere. Ofc, it's terrible, uncool lame since he can't handle it, LOL.
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Weed on the other hand, is very cool which makes it really cool. Interestingly, this post received comments pretty quickly. Let's have a look.
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Oh boy. Lucas getting reasonable and honest feedback. He ain't gonna like that.
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LOL.
1) I'm halfway certain he's taken an IQ test before, for evidence to definitely prove how smart he is, but the results showed he had a literal room temperature IQ. (If that)

2) ROFL. Lucas's mastery over his theory of mind is on fill display right there.

3) His patented "Google it" when he's making shit up.

Again, the second person is being very reasonable here and Lucas can't comprehend what the dude is saying. He needs to be right, no matter how retarded, wrong, and unfounded the claims.
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1) Oh God. "You're a child" is the death knell. You can bet your ass a 'blocked' post is imminent.

2) Oh dear Lord. RIP. The next commenter unintentionally struck true right there.
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So I somewhat suspect the new girl made a comment about drinking, and it hurt Lucas's feefee's since he's a child who can't stand the taste of alcohol.
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LOL. Praise be.
 
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