Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

It's surprisingly difficult to photograph food so it looks appetizing. There are actually people who do that for a living. Tricks like plastic food or mashed potatoes standing in for ice cream are common, I understand.
True. What exactly is that in the last pic with the title "What a date with me is like"? Taco-Soup? I just think it looks not like something to brag about.
 
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It's surprisingly difficult to photograph food so it looks appetizing. There are actually people who do that for a living. Tricks like plastic food or mashed potatoes standing in for ice cream are common, I understand.

Sometimes you also have to use larger portions and let it cool/chill a bit so that the food has solidified a bit. Other times you have to spend some extra money to get high end buns, sides, salads, etc. The goal is to take what equates to a McDonalds meal and make it look like something Gordon Ramsey made.
(Used to work in food service, we did this all the time for when we wanted to post pics of meals on seamless or grubhub)
 
It's surprisingly difficult to photograph food so it looks appetizing. There are actually people who do that for a living. Tricks like plastic food or mashed potatoes standing in for ice cream are common, I understand.
My favorite is that they'd literally use Elmer's glue instead of m!lk for photos of breakfast cereals. Or motor oil instead of maple syrup on pancakes.
So...Absolutely terrifying?

Seriously, if I just saw that picture without context, I'd assume he was playing a food obsessed serial killer in a film.
One would think that to achieve such a glaring lack of self awareness you'd need to have your body grown in a lab while your brain was kept alive in a jar in China.
 
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Blackface Wern?
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First post, long time lurker...I gotta say this post is what got me to join. I get that the guy has Schizotypical Mood Disorder, but, Jesus Christ, unleashing your fantasy world revolving around older men's sploodge onto the general populace that occupies the internet gives me some serious ODD vibes in addition to some serious heavy anti-social disorder vibes. Cows are inherently interesting, but our boy Luke here has taken it to a level longer than his telomeres.
 
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Blackface Wern?
WE WUZ TELOMERES AND SHEET.

First post, long time lurker...I gotta say this post is what got me to join. I get that the guy has Schizotypical Mood Disorder, but, Jesus Christ, unleashing your fantasy world revolving around older men's sploodge onto the general populace that occupies the internet gives me some serious ODD vibes (which multiple shrinks have tried to prescribe yours truly with) in addition to some serious heavy anti-social disorder vibes. Cows are inherently interesting, but our boy Luke here has taken it to a level longer than his telomeres.
welcome fellow wern watcher. Pro tip don't talk about going to shrinks or what tism you have here.
 
WE WUZ TELOMERES AND SHEET.


welcome fellow wern watcher. Pro tip don't talk about going to shrinks or what tism you have here.

Yeah, my mistake. I could take a lot about that if I wanted to, but I know ya'll wanna hear about the various thuggish ruggish lolcows i've met back in my days as a high school burnout more than my personal woes. Thanks for the guidance regardless, yall seem like an awesome community.

Also, from lurking, you're an admitted ancap? We are gonna get along very well.
 
Is there any info about the Wern's high school/early 20s? The only thing i've seen posted is about his weed possession arrest from 1999. I am curious as to what Y2K era Wern was like.
 
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Lucas's insanity is in overdrive "developing" games. Here is his latest "Concilio Trium", with a close up of his face and up his nose.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VVm-dan4PW8

His "Meeple Toss" game:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W3pF28e-z3g

Looks like Lucas is still being Lucas, creeping on the young women on campus.

"Stop trying to hit on us at school. None of us want you. You’re gross and sloppy. Take a shower - do your homework and you might pass. Stop making games that are piggybacking on games other people have made - oh, and - go after people your own age."
 
I don't believe that Lucas is hitting on anyone at school. We all know he is a gigantic coward and expects the women to strike up conversations with him.
I didn't believe he had it in him to actually enroll in college, yet look what happened. So now I don't put it past him to be making "moves"/ try to strike up a conversation with women at the campus.
 
Lucas's insanity is in overdrive "developing" games. Here is his latest "Concilio Trium", with a close up of his face and up his nose.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VVm-dan4PW8

His "Meeple Toss" game:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W3pF28e-z3g

Looks like Lucas is still being Lucas, creeping on the young women on campus.
It's that time where Dr. Bassomatic, boomer, Chad and big dick swinger dives into... the fuckery of mocking Lucas board games.

God take me before I click start....

Meeple toss.
Lucas points out he invented it. It's a mat with things colored worth points, he doesn't explain and he says you have to buy the game to learn, this is shit marketing and I really assume more so he's not even finished making the rules up himself. These spots on the mat have powers like gaining turns losing turns, but what that would do doesn't get mentioned.

It's 35.99 on game crafter, after he gets finished it. So you should drop 40 bucks on an unfinished game with a set of rules you don't know until you make the buy. Not at all tempting. His current logo is copy writed and he needs to change it, this makes lawyers bad. It could be a lie.

You have to land "it" not explaining what that means and it has to land on a circle flat, then he shows us what appears to be a playing piece of broken piece of plastic, I can't tell. Showing us what flat would be. If it lands up, it's standing up. Upright. He states this because...

Blank things are on their side, and shows the side of the piece. If it's on the side, or feet or back depending. You throw this thing, you get points. He shows a 5 point throw. Then a 0 point throw and just leave these peieces to litter the board.

You need to stand a foot back and bounce off the table if you want. Lucas can't figure what way a piece lands, bravo from the games maker. The black circle is death, if you land on death it's bad. Then you only have 4 meeples. You set how many points you want, he likes 500. In the rules you are allowed to show things. Black = lose a meeple, brown = lose a turn green = gain a turn, yellow = rethrow one meeple. purple = all or some of the meeples can be retossed.

So now we know the rules.

This game looks like an awful verison of something for kids that would be a parents night mares as it's throwing little plastic things that will get lost. There's next to no skill, or thingking it it, just a fat a man throwing plastic toys by himself. Really, it sums Lucas life up pretty well in ways.

Non RNG progression board game
We are greeted with Lucas fat face lying on his side, and being fat and looking for lack of better words. Dirty. He wants to explain a game he's building consielo trium (sp? maybe?) It means consil of 3. It's a 3 part game a triatholon. You have a board with triangles, theres a piece to move, there are 6 moves from cards. One to move and take it out, or 2 and take it out, what it is is ignored. You can also teleport. You move base on the card, the others bid to, make you not move or make the move because it helps them. So you have disks, and bid with them on making moves or not. If you get 4 of "em" you go to a map, you need 8 for 2 maps. 2 maps you need 7 players. 7 players of meeples. You set up 14 total.

You move on to the point of the game, where you get bullets, like a disk you throw at other places and their meeples. You knock their meeples over. You can ask to not have your meeples killed, so you put blocsk in your hand and carry from your hand to the blocks like 6 to 5 ratio or what ever you want. You try to manage the blocks. But also want to use the blocks. They are money or energy. San Quientin King does this. He likes this when he saw a video. He will steal this he steals things but others do, he does better because there isn't 3 sized chips.

It's a dynamic of managing things and using them (that's managing) you buy uot of bad things. He dosen't quite understand the 3rd phase where you stack disks, after you knock meeples over. After like say 14 meeples. Maybe, he's not sure though. You knock down a map of meeples. Then you get required disks and a tile. For 5 stories, you want 10 stories though. He puts disk up to 21 stories. So 10 is ok.

He's having trouble with, a non luck based way of fighting the out come with, bidding and hand hiding you have in other rounds. He wants an non RNG way, he explains chance or luck as an RNG (semi correct) He thinks he can use his smarts to out do bidding, and bidding is listed incorrectly as an RNG.

Well fuck you Dumb dumb, these games suck.

I'll close only to touch on his sheer insane lack of understanding of RNGs, RNGs are awesome, amazing tools esp in gaming. But bidding you can NEVER force to be a logical system. Have you ever heard of a poker face? Why do we have them? Bidding in any game requires chance, because you don't know what the other players have. It's a risk literally. Bluffing exisits, and what fun would any game be where you bid with out a chance to bluff? Even in "pure" skill games, there is both error, and feints. Bobby Fisher, the best chess player to live ever was famous for making a weak open for the sole reason of confusing grand masters of Chess. Lucas thinks throwing plastic cards like a retarded fat non mutant gambit at plastic trash is some how a head of this. It brings me joy.

I assume Lucas just wants to sound smart again as if he can remove chance, in a game, ergo in reality. Like his light speed idea, he just uses a few big words and thinks people will eat this shit up. When it just makes him sound dumb as rocks as well as mentally ill.
 
Lucas is having a huge pity party on Twitter right now. Whining about not having a girlfriend and whining that he will be alone for Thanksgiving and his birthday. Someone told him to go home and visit his family for Thanksgiving and he said they they are over 300 miles away. Twitter person then tells him it's like $237 for a RT bus ticket. He says he can't afford it. He's been pissing money away right and left on his stash of board games and gorging himself on every fast food near his place. He can't even think ahead to do anything that us normal adults do. We want to travel, we save, we want to go somewhere, we plan ahead. His only plan is to impregnate a child so he can hear "daddy".
 
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