💀 Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks
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- Joined
- Jul 21, 2015
He has the eyelids of a mummy.
This thing with him using filters to take age off. Does he think it will transfer to what he looks like IRL. Does he think a young ovulator is going to see his doctored pic, believe it and go knocking on the homeless shelter doors to look for him.
- Joined
- Jul 2, 2013
Whatever filters he's using to delete his wrinkles also deleted his eyebrows.
- Joined
- Dec 1, 2019
The eyelids of someone who just scrapes his entire palm over the selfie using Facetune's smooth tool in an attempt to look younger.
Between the only partially blurred eyelid, poreless skin, blurry facial hair, the eyebrows that were blurred into oblivion, and the fact that why bother there are unfiltered videos of you outdoors so we all know this photo is a damn lie, I'm not sure which part is funniest.
"Stay home or, failing that, at the public library or whatever shelter has room" maybe?
- Joined
- Dec 13, 2019
He has no eyebrows like Amberlynn. Lucas is fat. Fatty fatty fat fat.
- Joined
- Jun 9, 2016
his language is devolving. what's more interesting is his absolute lack of any elaboration - very short, child-like sentences of 3 or 4 words (and if that second "meme" is anything, several single words that are just nonsensical slang). soon he'll be grunting into the phone and posting videos of rocks and sticks.
- Joined
- Dec 1, 2019
I hate the fact that I understand that word vomit of slang well enough to know that he's using about 90% of it wrong and just comes off cringey.
Not funny, at least not the ha ha kind, not ironic, not amusing, not cute, just pure, unadulterated cringe.
- Joined
- Oct 27, 2018
The cow is back! He is mooing about not getting any of the stimulus. And even though it was not meant to be comedy, his profile picture with the frame encouraging people to stay home is the most comedic thing he has done. He can't follow that advice because he is a vagrant who sleeps where he is allowed and waunders the city of Spokane during the day.
- Joined
- Nov 5, 2014
It’s funny because by Lucas’s own dating standards in July 2019 he would not date himself.
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WonderWino
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
Something about the way the smoothing tool was really unsettling and familiar....then I realized where i've seen eyelids like that before:
Isn't most if this snarky online ebonics used by black people a decade younger than him? Talk about cultural appropriation....
- Joined
- Sep 30, 2015
Someone messaged Lucas on Instagram for more misused, cringy slang responses:
Fatal Walter
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Oct 23, 2019
Anyone remember that chat bot Billy 4.1? This was like from when I was in high school so not very high tech. He'd just parrot back your slang and try to use it correctly but if you talked long enough without resetting it'd just start spouting gibberish full of things you'd said. That's what Lucas sounds like in that conversation.
Well then, he should support the walk-off, strike, sick-out of all the people who work providing for the homeless. The people who run the homeless shelters, clean, cook, feed etc. etc. For their collective heath and safety, the homeless shelters should all be closed, so the workers can stay home.
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- Joined
- Aug 1, 2018
Lucas's "millennial accent" is more ridiculous than the Top Ten Bad Movie Accents.
It's why I think this is the funniest video Lucas has made, because he's role playing both sides of a hilariously insane conversation.
He imagines young women rollin up (skrrt!) and saying "We 'bout 18!"
Wherein Lucas responds "SocialistAHHHH???!!!" like he's about to tie them to railroad tracks.
He's obsessed with this idea that the barrier between him and teen poon is a language one, because it's easier to cope with than the reality.
The punchline is that even after Lucas spits his credentials, "she frownin", even in his insane fantasies, he gets called a creep.
It's why I think this is the funniest video Lucas has made, because he's role playing both sides of a hilariously insane conversation.
He imagines young women rollin up (skrrt!) and saying "We 'bout 18!"
Wherein Lucas responds "SocialistAHHHH???!!!" like he's about to tie them to railroad tracks.
He's obsessed with this idea that the barrier between him and teen poon is a language one, because it's easier to cope with than the reality.
The punchline is that even after Lucas spits his credentials, "she frownin", even in his insane fantasies, he gets called a creep.
- Joined
- Jun 20, 2019
Obviously the slang is just him trying a new tactic to get girls to like him. “This foolproof plan HAS to work!!”
- Joined
- Sep 30, 2015
More word salad
