Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

I don't know what to make of Lucas's insistence that life during the quarantine is a series of deadly orgies that he is not invited to. Further proof that he doesn't really share a world with the rest of us.

Hallucinating? We know he's done that before. Perhaps he hears the sounds of fucking and coughing all around him as he wanders the streets.

Is he projecting his own desires on the world? He's demonstrated that he ascribes his own atypical motivations to other people.

It's remarkable that he's fixated on the fear that everybody is currently fucking, except him, and neither the government nor natural selection approve. And it's also a little boring. I wish he'd rap more ("Gen Z, solidarity, she about 18 and ready to breed. Gen X needing some sex, all hail Generation X!"). Or just switch up his ravings a little bit.

The best part is according to his own logic he shouldn't even want to be invited to the imaginary orgies in the first place, given how deadly he claims they are

GleamingTheQ-Bert said:
Almost every position he's angrily articulated in the past 5 years, he's just as furiously recanted... with no seeming awareness of the disparity.

He unironically make a great member of the inner party when you think about it. I mean really, his kind of functional stupidity and utter lack of self awareness to the point that contradictions in his own thinking don't even register in his lizard brain is exactly the kind of thing the inner party was trying to implement in 1984. I believe winston referred to it as 'a certain protective stupidity'
 
Almost every position he's angrily articulated in the past 5 years, he's just as furiously recanted... with no seeming awareness of the disparity.

In all seriousness, if you want to understand Lucas' thought processes, the way to do it is to remember your own -- not when you're awake, but when asleep and dreaming. You know those dreams that seem to make sense while you are dreaming (or at least, your dream self never notices the logical flaws), but the second you wake up you realize how impossible they are? "I dreamt I was visiting my friends and their kindergarten-age child, then suddenly remembered: this little kindergartner was also my own kindergarten teacher from back in the day." "I was in high school studying for my Shakespeare test, and luckily my next-door neighbor was Shakespeare himself, who helped me figure out the meaning of those metaphors he used, and that one bit in Romeo and Juliet was actually his symbolic way of criticizing the Nazi party which had just taken over Germany."

I can't find it now, but I remember reading an article explaining that the reason people have such crazy thoughts in dreams is because during REM sleep, only parts of your brain are working; the logic and reason parts (that make even a small child effortlessly understand why "There's no way a five-year-old can also be the former kindergarten teacher of any current adult," say) are shut down. I do strongly suspect that, in the future when medical science is able to pinpoint precisely what causes schizophrenia and how to cure or effectively treat it, come to find out that for some reason, the logic-and-reason parts of a schizophrenic's brain are shut down or cut off from the rest of the brain; they're basically living in a perpetual dream state.
 
Hopefully something happened, it makes him produce more content when he has some irl provocation. He's probably just gorging on free food, skulking around apartments/parking lots, and jerking off in public toilets, I suspect we'll get more content later as he used to post content late at night when the mania really set in.
No Lucas content today. I hope nothing happened, he's been a goldmine since being homeless.
 
No Lucas content today. I hope nothing happened, he's been a goldmine since being homeless.
Given his history, whenever there's a break in Lucas's content people assume the worst: jail, hospital, laughing academy. He'll end up there eventually. It's part of his cycle. We must remember that Lucas is a finite source of tard cum, and appreciate his madness while we can.

Aside from his recent raps, I haven't enjoyed his current homeless saga as much as the Fart Chamber Epic. Granted, he's found inspiration in his misery, and it's funny to watch him literally rant and rave on the street. But there's a sweet spot between misery and stability, where Lucas does his best work.

When he has the privacy and isolation of a room, a kitchen and a place where he can drink and run around shirtless, he produces jaw dropping stuff. I am especially fond of Chef Lucas, and Drunk, Shirtless Lucas. For that reason alone, I hope he gets off the street eventually.
 
he seems to have fairly rapidly dropped the majority if his weird Werbonics - the alliterate phonetics of zoomer slang as attempted by a "boomer". his latest few videos, while unhinged, et c, are largely devoid of bae, aaaaa, slosh, plop, boi, yeet, et c.

i strongly doubt it, but perhaps it's optimistic his odd scrunchy left eye (the same eye he had a arguable shiner on a while ago) was earned by mouthing off to a "devious ethnic" and getting socked for how blatantly, patronizingly, fake and try-hard it was.

he could also just be between phone charges as if we assume he's been kicked from the house of charity, there's some possibility he lost access to the library in some capacity which means an outlet might hard to come by.

as an aside, is it just me but (ignoring his aggressively ignorant statistics about both Kung Flu, the Vietnam War, and mortality rates) is he so sex obsessed that he thinks that Covid-19 is a sexually transmitted disease? much like an earlier poster, i'm sure it's schizo-logic that failure to adhere to social distancing increases risk, and sex necessitates a failure to adhere to social distancing, and he perceives that people are constantly having sex all around him, ergo his conclusions. is phrasing kinda leaves it up in the air a little though.
 
Good news and bad news;

Good news: Lucas is back on Instagram.
Bad News: I’m still trying to figure out how to upload the video so those not following him can see it.
More good news: after what I estimate to be at least a week, he’s finally changed his shirt.
Even more good news: he’s back to making rap videos.
Bad news again: it’s only a one liner - “social closeness in the COVID-19 cuh I’m 18 and live in a dream.”
Really bad news: the short clip is a close up of his horse teeth and really creepy facial expressions.
 
Last edited:
Damn, Lucas. You are looking worse for wear.

Lucas Werner.png
 
Damn, Lucas. You are looking worse for wear.

View attachment 1255547

If the government would use these pics in their social distancing PSAs as a threat of what will happen if you don't obey the only people to ignore it would be Lucas, and he's dim enough to think it'd be a compliment and not that he just looks like a lurking, threatening creep.

20200426_122330.jpg
Screenshot_20200426-123901_Gallery.jpg

Edit: Combined the three short IG videos into one mess of a rap verse attempt, bitching that hotties want to face Bernie Sanders but not him, and expanding on that rap with a lovely display of blackened tarry teeth.
 
Last edited:
If the government would use these pics in their social distancing PSAs as a threat of what will happen if you don't obey the only people to ignore it would be Lucas, and he's dim enough to think it'd be a compliment and not that he just looks like a lurking, threatening creep.

View attachment 1255596
I was just about to post this too! Dear God. Unbelievable how a person can age and gain weight so noticeably over a short period of time.
 
I was looking for a specific video of Lucas’ on YouTube and stumbled upon this:
Has anyone seen this before it’s a podcast by SoundCloud rappers that runs around 90 mins from January 2019 featuring Lucas. I only listened to around 10 mins and it was just sperging about Alex Jones and right wing trolls.
 
Damn, Lucas. You are looking worse for wear.

View attachment 1255547

Holy shit those eyes absolutely scream creepy schitzo. Can you imagine him going up to some high school student and giving that look to her.....she'd lose her shit and probably call the cops

That he puts stuff like that up at all shows he has a total lack of self awareness on any level
 
I was looking for a specific video of Lucas’ on YouTube and stumbled upon this:
Has anyone seen this before it’s a podcast by SoundCloud rappers that runs around 90 mins from January 2019 featuring Lucas. I only listened to around 10 mins and it was just sperging about Alex Jones and right wing trolls.

You should've kept watching, just when you think he's said the dumbest thing you've ever heard him say, he tops it with amazing agility.

Why would you want to miss his thoughts on the universe death, masons, talking about why black men are garbage fathers, why Socrates was wrong, and his musings on private business? I'm just a half hour in and it keeps getting better.

He also talks a bit about why he was in, out, in, then out of the nuthouse.

Edit: So far, this is the best Lucasism in the video: "I would think that, like, after 6 years of absolute horror perpetrated on them by Adolf Hitler, they would have learned to be a little more peaceful toward the Palestinians but nope they just [something mumbled] like 'We're the Nazis now!'" - 35:27

He's so clearly being baited in the whole podcast and it's all going right over his head.
 
Last edited:
Back