Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[mothman96]

The Spokane Pedo Freak "singing".

 

[Da Dude123]

I also think he lied about what happened to his phone. We all know Lucas does not like to talk about things that make him look bad. Isaac probably stole it. So he made up his leaving it under a tree in a drunken stupor.

I am really doubting that Lucas is back in school. As for him getting a job? Fuck no, no way! He has zero desire to work because he is a lazy autistic cow. He will not do shit. He will most likely remain at House of Charity for some time doing the same things over and over again.

 

[teleméres69]

Is mrsa actually incurable? I've heard conflicting reports its treatable. Either way its just another reason not to let Lucas touch you and hes a walking biohazard but doesn't give a shit since he only cares about himself

That is likely why he is talking about wanting a job, because he knows a large part of what little he gets is going to be forced to be used for getting and paying for an apartment every month, assuming he can even find one. He doesn't want it to cut into his zoomer bae date fund or his living like a hobo king

The best part about that is being on a no rent list its very unlikely any actual decent apartment complex is going to rent to him, even if he were able to find one that didn't have a long waiting list, at best he would end up in some shithole rat infested motel 6 in some crackhead area and end up paying most of his tardbux into that, considering how expensive even those shitty motels are. Inevitably he would get kicked out, threatened for his behavior and forced out or leave in a tard rage and be on the street again, likely with even less control over his money. I wouldn't be surprised to see all of his money being subject to payee approval at some point, after causing a few more stupid incidents to get himself in shit. That would mean no more $70 steaks, bumwine and zoomer bae fund for him and would definitely make him hate his life even more than he already does

Also I like how he claims he can still go to starbucks, including the one he got kicked out of, how he admits to having been diagnosed with MRSA but claims it was cured with 2 or 3 different meds (that apparently he was allergic to at least one of) despite the fact it literally can't be cured with current medical technology, and how he has no idea about being on any no rent lists despite having literally made a video screeching about it when it happened. He is such a compulsive liar, and a stupid one at that. He lies about stuff hes literally on video admitting to so its easy for him to get called out for it

I suspect it was stolen by Isaac's brother given how even Lucas knows he dislikes him and admits he would try to steal his stuff

I also think he lied about what happened to his phone. We all know Lucas does not like to talk about things that make him look bad. Isaac probably stole it. So he made up his leaving it under a tree in a drunken stupor.

I am really doubting that Lucas is back in school. As for him getting a job? Fuck no, no way! He has zero desire to work because he is a lazy autistic cow. He will not do shit. He will most likely remain at House of Charity for some time doing the same things over and over again.

 

[mothman96]

I also think he lied about what happened to his phone. We all know Lucas does not like to talk about things that make him look bad. Isaac probably stole it. So he made up his leaving it under a tree in a drunken stupor.

I am really doubting that Lucas is back in school. As for him getting a job? Fuck no, no way! He has zero desire to work because he is a lazy autistic cow. He will not do shit. He will most likely remain at House of Charity for some time doing the same things over and over again.

Might be why Goldy didn't ask Lucas about the college classes. He didn't want to put Lucas in a "spot", outing that he's not in college.

 

[Amewsed]

Lucas's sudden weight loss is interesting, and unexpected. His face looks haggard, drawn.

We can't attribute Lucas's withering to clean eating and exercise. And I doubt Lucas is going hungry. Homeless though he is, he's figured out how to be both penniless and fat.

There is a YouTube series called "soft white underbelly" that has a guy interviewing the dregs of society. We should put pukas on his radar.

 

[Grand Number of Pounds]

If Lucas is really going back to school, and it's like the one I went to, it would be for an 8-week class instead of a 15-week class. That means it would be an accelerated class, twice as much material in half the time. That sounds like a horrible idea.

The only job Lucas could get would be someplace that has very high turnover and is always hiring. Some of those places will hire anyone with a pulse. I'm pretty sure Lucas has a lot of weird stuff in his background, which might scare off employers.

So maybe a sketchy high turnover job, or a MLM like Vector Marketing (like what CWC did) would take him. He certainly wouldn't have the job for long.

 

[Wernology]

Is mrsa actually incurable? I've heard conflicting reports its treatable. Either way its just another reason not to let Lucas touch you and hes a walking biohazard but doesn't give a shit since he only cares about himself


I suspect it was stolen by Isaac's brother given how even Lucas knows he dislikes him and admits he would try to steal his stuff

MRSA is one of those things that everybody technically "has" to some degree as the bacteria is pretty much everywhere at this point. There have been cases of people getting MRSA at home when they do something dumb like decide they want to pierce a body part using a sewing needle or safety pin or whatever other dull, dirty object they can find and pretend to sterilize with fire, alcohol, bleach, or boiling water then don't bother to wear gloves or set the "clean" thing down on a dirty sink or countertop.

People who get it in the way Lucas did or the way you read about with the systemic infections, open sores, death, all that fun are usually in poor health to begin with and if they're also in a situation in which cleanliness isn't what it should be (like hospitals that don't disinfect properly, being homeless, living in general filth).

It can be successfully treated but people who have had it as an actual infection that required strong antibiotics or hospital stays will typically always be prone to having it "flare up" now and again either at random or when they're under a lot of stress (which does lower immune system function for most people) or are otherwise ill.

Lucas is almost constantly stressed, definitely not in good health with the untreated and uncontrolled diabetes, and while I'll grant that sometimes the stuff on his face really does just look like big pimples he couldn't quit picking at or are the kind of sores you get from exposure to the elements (both of which would make him more prone to a MRSA flare up), there's a good chance some of it isn't.

The most similar thing I can think of would be herpes, specifically the strain that causes cold sores: Nearly everyone has it, you're always technically contagious even if you don't have open or visible sores/lesions, most people don't know they have it because it never flares up or they have such a mild form of it their immune system doesn't have a problem with it if they're otherwise healthy, and other people get pretty regular flare ups with no underlying reason or when they're stressed or otherwise ill.

It's unlikely that anyone would catch MRSA from him through casual contact unless he had open sores that they were touching or they came into contact with surfaces he'd somehow rubbed those sores on; even then a healthy person would really have to try to catch it and the chances would be pretty low if they didn't also have an open wound that they decided to rub against one of his and now I've grossed myself entirely out with that mental image. Thanks.

Anyway, MRSA nastiness aside, the compiled video tonight is over a fucking hour long and is 20 stupid videos.

RIP to my phone, that is 39% through saving the compiled shitshow and future RIP to the wifi that thankfully just the phone is using this time of night. I'll edit this post to add the video once it's done and up.

Edit: Here you go. 66 minutes of nonsense to piggyback off of the couple hours of nonsense we got from the podcast.

 

[mothman96]

If Lucas is really going back to school, and it's like the one I went to, it would be for an 8-week class instead of a 15-week class. That means it would be an accelerated class, twice as much material in half the time. That sounds like a horrible idea.

The only job Lucas could get would be someplace that has very high turnover and is always hiring. Some of those places will hire anyone with a pulse. I'm pretty sure Lucas has a lot of weird stuff in his background, which might scare off employers.

So maybe a sketchy high turnover job, or a MLM like Vector Marketing (like what CWC did) would take him. He certainly wouldn't have the job for long.

Checked some of the podcast. He plans to get a job with work study at the college so he can be around the girls.

It's unlikely that anyone would catch MRSA from him through casual contact unless he had open sores that they were touching or they came into contact with surfaces he'd somehow rubbed those sores on; even then a healthy person would really have to try to catch it and the chances would be pretty low if they didn't also have an open wound that they decided to rub against one of his and now I've grossed myself entirely out with that mental image. Thanks.

When Lucas left Olympia to meet up with a girl (catfish) he had an oozing MRSA infection on his back. If the girl had been real, the MRSA on his back would not have stopped him from being all over her. He doesn't give a shit if he infects other people. He ended up in a Spokane area hospital getting the MRSA treated.

 

[Wernology]

Checked some of the podcast. He plans to get a job with work study at the college so he can be around the girls.


When Lucas left Olympia to meet up with a girl (catfish) he had an oozing MRSA infection on his back. If the girl had been real, the MRSA on his back would not have stopped him from being all over her. He doesn't give a shit if he infects other people. He ended up in a Spokane area hospital getting the MRSA treated.

Yeah, if he had open, oozing sores those would have been pretty contagious and he both doesn't care and has said he doesn't believe he's contagious because he had it treated once.

I'd like to think any real woman would see open, oozing, nasty sores on someone and NOPE the fuck away but any hypothetical real woman that would be interested in fucking Lucas would already be demonstrating extremely poor judgement and would probably lick the nasty things.

 

[Club Sandwich]

That is likely why he is talking about wanting a job

He has zero desire to work

in essence, Lucas feels entitled to the fruits of labor of others because he's an incredibly narcissistic vulture, deserving a beating. it's pretty clear he's never had to endure punishment (one that he would view as punishment, not just his day to day existence) for the consequences of his terrible behavior and avoidance of responsibility. he more or less advertises these things with his self aggrandizing, ignorant views on just about everything. his love quest poster even said he didn't want to do menial work.

The only job Lucas could get would be someplace that has very high turnover and is always hiring. Some of those places will hire anyone with a pulse. I'm pretty sure Lucas has a lot of weird stuff in his background, which might scare off employers.

but where except in a menial labor (menial as in repetitive, manual labor, that is socially considered "dirty" or undesirable. custodial work for example, or moving boxes around a warehouse) would he even be able to perform any meaningful duties, much less excel at?

he has no skills, he has no aptitudes or defined characteristics of a dutiful employee. his value on an assembly line is limited due to his personality and criminal outlook on managing his behavior (he would be a shrink risk, safety hazard, and wouldn't work well with others). his value on solo tasks is limited because he has no self management skills and no technical expertise that would only require administrative oversight vs a supervisor literally watching his every move.

his cleanliness leaves something to be desired, but honestly, being slovenly is tolerated if you can do the work and pass inspections (fast food, retail, custodial work, land management, construction, et c).

even the places that just want a pulse (political committee door knocker) wants someone put together enough to convince or help convince a prospect into a sale.

this sort of entitled attitude breeds resentment and anger on both sides (the entitled prick and the employer/coworkers) because they have mutually opposed goals.

honestly, if Lucas learns to shut up, gets clean, and can stop the sperging for 8 hours a day, he has a bright future as a low level retail/fast food guy. probably never more than that since he'd destroy any chance of promotion, but hey, it would be a paycheck. but he's Lucas, he's entitled, lazy, unskilled, unlikable, and offers zero incentive to be hired. this has some overlap into why he can't get a date to save his life. nobody wants a pathetic do-nothing loser except possibly as a conveniently useful idiot.

He plans to get a job with work study at the college so he can be around the girls.

that's disgusting, but besides that, maybe it's just me, but when i had to do gig work for a while in college it was really obvious (to everyone, especially the girls) which guys are bare minimum and just there to collect credits or try to score. it's pathetic and unless you're literal surfer body toned tanned and with a sweet party attitude, no girl is going to let you flirt, much less play.

 

[Particle Bored]

Edit: Here you go. 66 minutes of nonsense to piggyback off of the couple hours of nonsense we got from the podcast.

1:00:07, 1:00:57 - One at a time ladies. There's plenty of Lucas to go around.

ETA: omfg... that closer.

 

[BowlOfDick]

Sometimes I like to step into Luke’s shoes when it comes to his more hilarious delusions. By far, my favourite is his scholarly aspirations...

The world-renowned fertility research lab at Spokane Community College hums with the sound of cutting edge technology. Ranks of microscopes are attended to by the students of Biology 101. Within a week, they had quickly moved on from labelling parts of a cell and learning about photosynthesis to conducting advanced research in the field of age gap relationships.

Between these rows of microscopes, the wise professor paces, hands clasped behind his back. He will pause occasionally at one student or another, peering over their shoulder before nodding with fatherly approval and patting them on the back.

“Professor I.... I think I’ve found something!”

The speaker, clad in a white lab coat and sporting a fashionably greasy ponytail, raised his hand. He was Lucas Werner, the professor’s brightest student. He had made waves in the scientific community with his hypothesis on age gap relationships, which was published in his entry level English class the other week. Young Wern was viewed as something of a maverick by the rest of the faculty, particularly the millennials, but the professor saw a talent in Lucas that many others couldn’t.

His moustache bristling with excitement, the professor strides briskly over to his student. Lucas steps back, allowing his mentor to gaze through the aperture of the microscope. The professor adjusts the dials slightly, focussing in on his student’s discovery. Meanwhile, the other students watch in humble anticipation.

The professor’s eyes grow wide with surprise, and wider yet with awe,

“Great Scott Lucas.... you did it! You’ve found the telomeres!”

The lab erupts in applause. Some had called him a madman, others a fool but Lucas - soon to be Dr Lucas - had proven them wrong.

As per tradition, the female Gen Z students line up to be ceremoniously groped by the triumphant scientist. With his latest discovery, they will surely spread his gospel to the other females on campus, who would in turn submit themselves for his insemination.

Lucas beams with triumph. He had done it. He had found the telomeres.

THE END

 

[boner_alert]

Is mrsa actually incurable? I've heard conflicting reports its treatable. Either way its just another reason not to let Lucas touch you and hes a walking biohazard but doesn't give a shit since he only cares about himself


I suspect it was stolen by Isaac's brother given how even Lucas knows he dislikes him and admits he would try to steal his stuff

He basically slipped up, in between his disjointed muttering and mumbling responses across the interview questions that hinted closer and closer to his things being stolen by Issac and the other homeless guys, as was predicted. When Gold says he wants to interview Issac or his brother, Lucas blurted out he didn't want Issac running off with his phone, which he tried to quickly backpedal but ended up in a whole story thread about how Issac's brother steals his weed

Also, further insight into his friendship with Issac

1. He shushes him in agitation or turns his back whenever Lucas starts sperging about the telomeres and zygote shit and tears off his chris chan posters, repeatedly and even admitting to Lucas it was him and he's going to keep doing it
2. Apparently Issac is hard to keep around unless you have weed. According to Lucas he's always floating around and trying to leave after he gets some weed, or is like "Ill be right back" and goes does something else until there's weed
3. He and Issac "rib each other, like def comedy jam"

So basically Issac can't stand his telomeres shit and either hides his repulsion under the guise of "just joking around" or Lucas just interprets it that way (Or interprets it like Issac doesn't want Lucas letting the 'super effective incredible telomeres secret to success with females' out).. and so he spends as little time as possible with Lucas just to get weed or food and the time he does spend with him, it's a def comedy jam == he's literally viciously insulting Lucas right to his face

There is a YouTube series called "soft white underbelly" that has a guy interviewing the dregs of society. We should put pukas on his radar.

We should. These Gold interviews are getting hard to get through. It's like sloshing through a bucket of diarrhea with bare hands to fish out the few relevant pieces of info. Lucas manages to answer every one of Gold's questions with "well its the communist in name only GREED GenZ flatbills Gen X older fathers Im GenX" and Gold doesn't reign him in or press him on anything at all. Not to sound ungrateful and unappreciative of Gold's work but coming here with the username "The Golden USB Show," which .. bro. And asking us what we should ask him/asking Lucas interview questions based off all the things that were discussed here, it seems Gold's relationship and any future interviews could shortly come to an end. Not that any of us would narc but all Lucas has to do is get to this thread and even a tard like him could make the connection between the post that showed his chris chan poster right before he was asked about it in the USB interview and the username "The Golden USB Show"

 

[Goldaor]

Unless something really big happens I don't think there will be another episode

 

[Telomerase1979]

I would love it if Lucas and Russell Greer teamed up to write a song.

 

[Da Dude123]

Goldy, say it ain't so. If anything else, Lucas believes your ever so famous "podcast" adds to Lucas's fame. Remember, he said in the latest show that he is a celebrity. Sure, he looks like a ragman who rants and raves on the streets. And let's overlook that he is banned from public parks, pubs, libraries, Starbucks, etc. He is a man of fame. And it's partly to thank for being on the Golden USB show.

He probably thinks some baby zooms will hear it and head over to House of Charity at hobo line up time and mob him with their phone numbers. He will then be enjoying steaks at Clinkerdaggers and the Steamplant with 18 year old model girlfriends.

So, I think Lucas would want to go back on your show. And I am sure he misses getting free food and game systems sent to him by you.

Unless something really big happens I don't think there will be another episode

 

[teleméres69]

A shame there's no way of interviewing Isaac by asking him directly instead of Lucas who doesn't want Isaac to reveal how pathetic he really is irl when he's sleeping on the streets with an 18 and 17 year old. Jason Perva and Dan Campbell would also be good for interviews, and if Dan is petty enough to make that video I don't see wh you couldn't interview him about Lucas when he was in Olympia

Goldy, say it ain't so. If anything else, Lucas believes your ever so famous "podcast" adds to Lucas's fame. Remember, he said in the latest show that he is a celebrity. Sure, he looks like a ragman who rants and raves on the streets. And let's overlook that he is banned from public parks, pubs, libraries, Starbucks, etc. He is a man of fame. And it's partly to thank for being on the Golden USB show.

He probably thinks some baby zooms will hear it and head over to House of Charity at hobo line up time and mob him with their phone numbers. He will then be enjoying steaks at Clinkerdaggers and the Steamplant with 18 year old model girlfriends.

So, I think Lucas would want to go back on your show. And I am sure he misses getting free food and game systems sent to him by you.

 

[ShaCletus]

https://www.instagram.com/p/CF45vuKBY_B/

Good incel rant here tbh. I enjoy when Lucas shows emotion during these, like there's a hint of realizing his dire dying alone situation and you can even feel a little bad for him... and then he'll rant about telomeres again in 2 minutes like usual.

Did Lucas just compare black people to Klingons? WTF....

 

[LeeLoo]

Hold on. Please, PLEASE tell me there is no way this absolute horror of a human being is enrolled at SCC again. No. No way.

How in the fuck does an obviously unmedicated mentally ill homeless deviant with a history of predatory sexual behavior get back into college with his target victims? And on the tax payer dime? Does anyone know if this is true?

 

[WonderWino]

Its good to know that lucas finally inadvertently confirmed my theory from after the first podcast where I said he got sketchy as fuck when goldy asked him to get isaac to come onto the podcast and while tacitly agreeing, became clearly agitated and didn't do a good job of hiding the fact he clearly did not want isaac to do so. I fucking called it that the reason was he was afraid of what isaac would say publicly and make lucas sound like a creep, and lucas knew it. No way some hobo would turn down kfc to spend a few minutes talking on a podcast, lucas was just trying to cover his ass

After subjecting myself to three straight hours of Lucas madness as 1 AM last night all I have to say is it was all worth it for the grand finale sing-song freak out at the end of klickitat’s video. So I’ll leave you with this pic which pretty much sums it up.

Between that scared shitless chimp face look and all the spastic looking around he was doing at the end, if I didn't know better I would think he was a tweaker wigging out