Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[Jeremiah the Bullfrog]

Here's the transcription of his latest message.

"Hello Tiffany, It's Lucas Werner. Just seeing if that offer was still open for me to come stay with you. 'Cause I'm trying to get out of the hospital and I probably will on Friday. Or I will next week but my hearing is on Friday and I'm doing quite well.

<<Editor's Note: If you're locked in a mental institution and calling a woman whom you've never met in hopes of securing a place to stay.... you are the very definition of not 'doing well'>>

So... um... we'll see what happens.

If you're trolling me, I wouldn't be too surprised because SOFALAW... <long sigh>.... Ah... they say they have an anger issue out of Agephobia and classism . I mean I've clearly got a poorer status in life than most people. I'm EBT Card Level.

But alas, you know, Gen Z might be bigots... I don't know... I mean you're 18/19, you're Gen Z. I'm Gen X 1979 . It'll be my 41st Birthday on November 22nd... err... November 27th. <<Editor's Note: I'd like to point out that this PHD Candidate just got his birthday wrong>>.

So... Ummm... Anger issues aside... umm.. whatever, I'm probably just going to laugh and say "Okie Dokie, I guess you're right, I do need to get a job", or "Yeah, I guess you are agephobes," or "yeah I guess you are classists" and kinda shrug.

It won't matter to me if SOFALAW is angry of if that guy is angry because he's an alt-right moron, but that is a bit redundant. But if not well... If you want to come have Clinkerdager with me we can go Clinkerdager... It'll cost like 150 bucks but that's a good first date I think. Uh, once the Covid19 is lifted or we could just go have pizza, but I promise you ClinkerDager once the Covid19 lockdown is lifted.

Umm... that's no big deal to me. I think a first date should be a bit expensive if it's supposed to be sophisticated, classy and nice. <<Says the Homeless man who doesn't change his clothes on even a weekly basis>>

I think I'm a good person, I've lost close to 200lbs. I'm studying for a PHD, I'm retaking my biology class, so I'll get good grades and be on the honor roll again.

Ummm... uh, second year SCC will start in January for me. So, I mean if it's an elaborate catfishing or whatever, it just goes to show that Gen Z is a bunch of bigots. Which is funny to me because you're a largely socialist generation by 90% of you, which would be 18 to 24 year old adults, and Bigotry is against leftism. Hate is against leftism and classism is against leftism. So it's just ridiculousness."

 

[mothman96]

"SOFALAW/that guy is angry etc"-- looks like he may be talking about the guy DeletedSoul banned from SOFALAW for trolling Lucas on FetLife.

If you're trolling me, I wouldn't be too surprised because SOFALAW... <long sigh>.... Ah... they say they have an anger issue out of Agephobia and classism . I mean I've clearly got a poorer status in life than most people. I'm EBT Card Level.
.........................................
It won't matter to me if SOFALAW is angry of if that guy is angry because he's an alt-right moron, but that is a bit redundant. But if not well... If you want to come have Clinkerdager with me we can go Clinkerdager... It'll cost like 150 bucks but that's a good first date I think. Uh, once the Covid19 is lifted or we could just go have pizza, but I promise you ClinkerDager once the Covid19 lockdown is lifted.

 

[Rescuetoast]

"SOFALAW/that guy is angry etc"-- looks like he may be talking about the guy DeletedSoul banned from SOFALAW for trolling Lucas on FetLife.

No he just thinks everyone is from sofalaw or kiwifarms. “That guy” could be someone who was rude to him on a bus.

 

[Da Dude123]

Here's the transcription of his latest message.

"Hello Tiffany, It's Lucas Werner. Just seeing if that offer was still open for me to come stay with you. 'Cause I'm trying to get out of the hospital and I probably will on Friday. Or I will next week but my hearing is on Friday and I'm doing quite well.

<<Editor's Note: If you're locked in a mental institution and calling a woman whom you've never met in hopes of securing a place to stay.... you are the very definition of not 'doing well'>>

So... um... we'll see what happens.

If you're trolling me, I wouldn't be too surprised because SOFALAW... <long sigh>.... Ah... they say they have an anger issue out of Agephobia and classism . I mean I've clearly got a poorer status in life than most people. I'm EBT Card Level.

But alas, you know, Gen Z might be bigots... I don't know... I mean you're 18/19, you're Gen Z. I'm Gen X 1979 . It'll be my 41st Birthday on November 22nd... err... November 27th. <<Editor's Note: I'd like to point out that this PHD Candidate just got his birthday wrong>>.

So... Ummm... Anger issues aside... umm.. whatever, I'm probably just going to laugh and say "Okie Dokie, I guess you're right, I do need to get a job", or "Yeah, I guess you are agephobes," or "yeah I guess you are classists" and kinda shrug.

It won't matter to me if SOFALAW is angry of if that guy is angry because he's an alt-right moron, but that is a bit redundant. But if not well... If you want to come have Clinkerdager with me we can go Clinkerdager... It'll cost like 150 bucks but that's a good first date I think. Uh, once the Covid19 is lifted or we could just go have pizza, but I promise you ClinkerDager once the Covid19 lockdown is lifted.

Umm... that's no big deal to me. I think a first date should be a bit expensive if it's supposed to be sophisticated, classy and nice. <<Says the Homeless man who doesn't change his clothes on even a weekly basis>>

I think I'm a good person, I've lost close to 200lbs. I'm studying for a PHD, I'm retaking my biology class, so I'll get good grades and be on the honor roll again.

Ummm... uh, second year SEC will start in January for me. So, I mean if it's an elaborate catfishing or whatever, it just goes to show that Gen Z is a bunch of bigots. Which is funny to me because you're a largely socialist generation by 90% of you, which would be 18 to 24 year old adults, and Bigotry is against leftism. Hate is against leftism and classism is against leftism. So it's just ridiculousness."

Wow! Two weeks in the funny farm and he hasn't improved one bit. Still spouting off the same bullshit that he always does. Doing these big data dumps on a voicemail of a woman who he probably thinks he will marry. There is no fixing him. He is and will continue to be a burden on society. He will keep reeing and mooing and siphoning off charities and the government for the rest of his life. No number of heads of cattle that his dead grandpappy had will change that. He will keep ignoring the voices on the wind and will keep doing what he does. I hope if and when he gets released we get a good meltdown video once he learns he has been catfished. Me personally, I hope it is a crying video like the one where he was crying saying "I just can't find my girl".

 

[IceQueen]

Here's the transcription of his latest message.

"Hello Tiffany, It's Lucas Werner. Just seeing if that offer was still open for me to come stay with you. 'Cause I'm trying to get out of the hospital and I probably will on Friday. Or I will next week but my hearing is on Friday and I'm doing quite well.

<<Editor's Note: If you're locked in a mental institution and calling a woman whom you've never met in hopes of securing a place to stay.... you are the very definition of not 'doing well'>>

So... um... we'll see what happens.

If you're trolling me, I wouldn't be too surprised because SOFALAW... <long sigh>.... Ah... they say they have an anger issue out of Agephobia and classism . I mean I've clearly got a poorer status in life than most people. I'm EBT Card Level.

But alas, you know, Gen Z might be bigots... I don't know... I mean you're 18/19, you're Gen Z. I'm Gen X 1979 . It'll be my 41st Birthday on November 22nd... err... November 27th. <<Editor's Note: I'd like to point out that this PHD Candidate just got his birthday wrong>>.

So... Ummm... Anger issues aside... umm.. whatever, I'm probably just going to laugh and say "Okie Dokie, I guess you're right, I do need to get a job", or "Yeah, I guess you are agephobes," or "yeah I guess you are classists" and kinda shrug.

It won't matter to me if SOFALAW is angry of if that guy is angry because he's an alt-right moron, but that is a bit redundant. But if not well... If you want to come have Clinkerdager with me we can go Clinkerdager... It'll cost like 150 bucks but that's a good first date I think. Uh, once the Covid19 is lifted or we could just go have pizza, but I promise you ClinkerDager once the Covid19 lockdown is lifted.

Umm... that's no big deal to me. I think a first date should be a bit expensive if it's supposed to be sophisticated, classy and nice. <<Says the Homeless man who doesn't change his clothes on even a weekly basis>>

I think I'm a good person, I've lost close to 200lbs. I'm studying for a PHD, I'm retaking my biology class, so I'll get good grades and be on the honor roll again.

Ummm... uh, second year SCC will start in January for me. So, I mean if it's an elaborate catfishing or whatever, it just goes to show that Gen Z is a bunch of bigots. Which is funny to me because you're a largely socialist generation by 90% of you, which would be 18 to 24 year old adults, and Bigotry is against leftism. Hate is against leftism and classism is against leftism. So it's just ridiculousness."

“An elaborate trolling” ... What about what this catfish has done is elaborate lmao from my understanding they just messaged lucas with a phone number and said he could stay with them?? “Elaborate” hahaha

 

[Shaka Brah]

Ummm... uh, second year SEC will start in January for me. So, I mean if it's an elaborate catfishing or whatever, it just goes to show that Gen Z is a bunch of bigots. Which is funny to me because you're a largely socialist generation by 90% of you, which would be 18 to 24 year old adults, and Bigotry is against leftism. Hate is against leftism and classism is against leftism. So it's just ridiculousness."

This guy is giving a pretty fantastic pitch for Fascism. Never having to cater to freaks? I'm in.

 

[NiggoPls]

I just really want to know if he actually said "Queefy-Bae" or not.

 

[Wernology]

Wow! Two weeks in the funny farm and he hasn't improved one bit. Still spouting off the same bullshit that he always does. Doing these big data dumps on a voicemail of a woman who he probably thinks he will marry. There is no fixing him. He is and will continue to be a burden on society. He will keep reeing and mooing and siphoning off charities and the government for the rest of his life. No number of heads of cattle that his dead grandpappy had will change that. He will keep ignoring the voices on the wind and will keep doing what he does. I hope if and when he gets released we get a good meltdown video once he learns he has been catfished. Me personally, I hope it is a crying video like the one where he was crying saying "I just can't find my girl".

He hasn't improved because for that to happen the first thing you have to do is admit you have a problem that is all you, at that point therapy and meds would start to be useful because he'd be talking someone to work through his obvious issues.

Since he doesn't/won't/can't see all that shit as issues that are problem with him and NOT with the rest of the world, he'll never improve.

 

[VoidFace]

While we wait for the cow to escape the funny farm, here’s a question I’ve been mulling over for awhile: what is the quintessential Lucas video?

The one video you would show to someone completely unfamiliar with him, the one video to make them aware of as much of the wern mythos and psychology as possible?

No compilations, they have to be Werner’s originals.

 

[Telomerase1979]

The one video you would show to someone completely unfamiliar with him, the one video to make them aware of as much of the wern mythos and psychology as possible?

No compilations, they have to be Werner’s originals.

For me, it’s a toss up between “Right Now” and While You Were Busy Getting Everything I Deserve.
Though an honorable mention has to go to this chimpout.

 

[another idiot]

Here's the transcription of his latest message.

"Hello Tiffany, It's Lucas Werner. Just seeing if that offer was still open for me to come stay with you. 'Cause I'm trying to get out of the hospital and I probably will on Friday. Or I will next week but my hearing is on Friday and I'm doing quite well.

<<Editor's Note: If you're locked in a mental institution and calling a woman whom you've never met in hopes of securing a place to stay.... you are the very definition of not 'doing well'>>

So... um... we'll see what happens.

If you're trolling me, I wouldn't be too surprised because SOFALAW... <long sigh>.... Ah... they say they have an anger issue out of Agephobia and classism . I mean I've clearly got a poorer status in life than most people. I'm EBT Card Level.

But alas, you know, Gen Z might be bigots... I don't know... I mean you're 18/19, you're Gen Z. I'm Gen X 1979 . It'll be my 41st Birthday on November 22nd... err... November 27th. <<Editor's Note: I'd like to point out that this PHD Candidate just got his birthday wrong>>.

So... Ummm... Anger issues aside... umm.. whatever, I'm probably just going to laugh and say "Okie Dokie, I guess you're right, I do need to get a job", or "Yeah, I guess you are agephobes," or "yeah I guess you are classists" and kinda shrug.

It won't matter to me if SOFALAW is angry of if that guy is angry because he's an alt-right moron, but that is a bit redundant. But if not well... If you want to come have Clinkerdager with me we can go Clinkerdager... It'll cost like 150 bucks but that's a good first date I think. Uh, once the Covid19 is lifted or we could just go have pizza, but I promise you ClinkerDager once the Covid19 lockdown is lifted.

Umm... that's no big deal to me. I think a first date should be a bit expensive if it's supposed to be sophisticated, classy and nice. <<Says the Homeless man who doesn't change his clothes on even a weekly basis>>

I think I'm a good person, I've lost close to 200lbs. I'm studying for a PHD, I'm retaking my biology class, so I'll get good grades and be on the honor roll again.

Ummm... uh, second year SCC will start in January for me. So, I mean if it's an elaborate catfishing or whatever, it just goes to show that Gen Z is a bunch of bigots. Which is funny to me because you're a largely socialist generation by 90% of you, which would be 18 to 24 year old adults, and Bigotry is against leftism. Hate is against leftism and classism is against leftism. So it's just ridiculousness."

The catfish is named Tiffany? Those would all be around his own age already.

 

[Draxx them Sklounst]

For me, it’s a toss up between “Right Now” and While You Were Busy Getting Everything I Deserve.

Those are what I would have picked too

 

[Krathnami]

That Lucas continues to believe that the majority of zoomers are socialist further demonstrates how out of touch he is.

 

[Wernology]

While we wait for the cow to escape the funny farm, here’s a question I’ve been mulling over for awhile: what is the quintessential Lucas video?

The one video you would show to someone completely unfamiliar with him, the one video to make them aware of as much of the wern mythos and psychology as possible?

No compilations, they have to be Werner’s originals.

Since I take a lot of his stupid shorts and compile them and don't feel like digging through his IG to find the finale of this one right now, it'd be the part where he's screaming I. HATE. YOU. AND. YOUR. GREEEEEEED!! here.

 

[teleméres69]

"whatever, I'm probably just going to laugh and say "Okie Dokie, I guess you're right, I do need to get a job", or "Yeah, I guess you are agephobes," or "yeah I guess you are classists" and kinda shrug."
Wow, brief self awareness, immediately shut down by his own narcissism. That's impressive even for Lucas

Here's the transcription of his latest message.

"Hello Tiffany, It's Lucas Werner. Just seeing if that offer was still open for me to come stay with you. 'Cause I'm trying to get out of the hospital and I probably will on Friday. Or I will next week but my hearing is on Friday and I'm doing quite well.

<<Editor's Note: If you're locked in a mental institution and calling a woman whom you've never met in hopes of securing a place to stay.... you are the very definition of not 'doing well'>>

So... um... we'll see what happens.

If you're trolling me, I wouldn't be too surprised because SOFALAW... <long sigh>.... Ah... they say they have an anger issue out of Agephobia and classism . I mean I've clearly got a poorer status in life than most people. I'm EBT Card Level.

But alas, you know, Gen Z might be bigots... I don't know... I mean you're 18/19, you're Gen Z. I'm Gen X 1979 . It'll be my 41st Birthday on November 22nd... err... November 27th. <<Editor's Note: I'd like to point out that this PHD Candidate just got his birthday wrong>>.

So... Ummm... Anger issues aside... umm.. whatever, I'm probably just going to laugh and say "Okie Dokie, I guess you're right, I do need to get a job", or "Yeah, I guess you are agephobes," or "yeah I guess you are classists" and kinda shrug.

It won't matter to me if SOFALAW is angry of if that guy is angry because he's an alt-right moron, but that is a bit redundant. But if not well... If you want to come have Clinkerdager with me we can go Clinkerdager... It'll cost like 150 bucks but that's a good first date I think. Uh, once the Covid19 is lifted or we could just go have pizza, but I promise you ClinkerDager once the Covid19 lockdown is lifted.

Umm... that's no big deal to me. I think a first date should be a bit expensive if it's supposed to be sophisticated, classy and nice. <<Says the Homeless man who doesn't change his clothes on even a weekly basis>>

I think I'm a good person, I've lost close to 200lbs. I'm studying for a PHD, I'm retaking my biology class, so I'll get good grades and be on the honor roll again.

Ummm... uh, second year SCC will start in January for me. So, I mean if it's an elaborate catfishing or whatever, it just goes to show that Gen Z is a bunch of bigots. Which is funny to me because you're a largely socialist generation by 90% of you, which would be 18 to 24 year old adults, and Bigotry is against leftism. Hate is against leftism and classism is against leftism. So it's just ridiculousness."

Why would someone be banned for fucking with Lucas? Isn't that part of being in the group? It's not like it's not hilarious messing with creeper anyway, he still makes the worst decisions in life on his own, like harassing women or trying to blackmail neighbours

"SOFALAW/that guy is angry etc"-- looks like he may be talking about the guy DeletedSoul banned from SOFALAW for trolling Lucas on FetLife.

Is anyone actually stupid enough to still believe there is any fixing the fat retard?

Wow! Two weeks in the funny farm and he hasn't improved one bit. Still spouting off the same bullshit that he always does. Doing these big data dumps on a voicemail of a woman who he probably thinks he will marry. There is no fixing him. He is and will continue to be a burden on society. He will keep reeing and mooing and siphoning off charities and the government for the rest of his life. No number of heads of cattle that his dead grandpappy had will change that. He will keep ignoring the voices on the wind and will keep doing what he does. I hope if and when he gets released we get a good meltdown video once he learns he has been catfished. Me personally, I hope it is a crying video like the one where he was crying saying "I just can't find my girl".

Lucas' own ego will never allow him to accept his faults and improve. Being a worthless bum is too tied to his identity at this point. He's probably considered a lost cause at this point and they just keep him locked up as long as they can to stop him from fucking himself over as long as possible

He hasn't improved because for that to happen the first thing you have to do is admit you have a problem that is all you, at that point therapy and meds would start to be useful because he'd be talking someone to work through his obvious issues.

Since he doesn't/won't/can't see all that shit as issues that are problem with him and NOT with the rest of the world, he'll never improve.

I've often wondered this myself. I don't think there truly exists a single video that really does his level of insane incel justice that you could show to the average person. I wish I could find one since it would be fun to make edits of, but his insanity is stretched out across so many videos it's almost impossible to nail one specific clip he did that highlights how far gone he is

While we wait for the cow to escape the funny farm, here’s a question I’ve been mulling over for awhile: what is the quintessential Lucas video?

The one video you would show to someone completely unfamiliar with him, the one video to make them aware of as much of the wern mythos and psychology as possible?

No compilations, they have to be Werner’s originals.

 

[mothman96]

Why would someone be banned for fucking with Lucas? Isn't that part of being in the group? It's not like it's not hilarious messing with creeper anyway, he still makes the worst decisions in life on his own, like harassing women or trying to blackmail neighbours

From my understanding SOFALAW has a policy for the members not to mess with Lucas directly and I've been under the impression that we here have the same type of policy.

 

[Patchwork Ragdoll]

The best cows are self milking. People that feel compelled to poke the cows (catfishing) to get a reaction probably have their own issues.

 

[MeganDodgedABullet]

For me, it’s a toss up between “Right Now” and While You Were Busy Getting Everything I Deserve.
Though an honorable mention has to go to this chimpout.

While You Were Busy is a the absolute peak (or trough) of Wernism. Pure tardation, until we get "Wound - redux"

 

[Da Dude123]

The best cows are self milking. People that feel compelled to poke the cows (catfishing) to get a reaction probably have their own issues.

This is generally true and Lucas is self milking. Although, we certainly have got some great material from him being poked. Also, him being poked has not discouraged him. He keeps right at his lolcow antics.

 

[AbraCadaver]

They're not mine to release, but I've heard them. I couldn't make out the first one, here's my poorly done transcription of the second:

"Hey Baby, this is Lucas Werner. I think the problem with me calling you the first time I got here is because the volume is too low on the phone. So you probably didn't hear what I was saying.

Umm, I was thinking you were trolling me but maybe not. Because if you were, I'd just put your phone number on instagram and have my buddies troll you, if you gave me your phone number and were tricking me. But I don't think you were tricking me at all. I think I just recorded the message and the volume was too low.

But here's the thing queefy-bae(sp?), you and I together, you know we create a stronger DNA child because you've seen my instagram.

You know what I'm thinking, ovulator? You know about those 7 teams working on my DNA, for transfer sperm telomeres. You know, Chris Kazawa, Dan Eisenberg, Red hunt spindal (?), some Belgium team. Of course there's Manila, there's Tokyo, Belgium... The Evanston Illinois Team. Before that there was the Harvard Team. There was the Seattle Team. Now there's a 7th team and everything I've read on Telomeres says that longer telomeres in mice gives an immunity to cancer and I want to be the Daddy to your Children.

You know I see those guys out there at the Shalom ministry, giving out food with those hot nurses, because I've seen them at H.O.C. They're thinking they're going to give they're babies stronger DNA, so they're hooking up with Gen Z.

Well Gen Z dudes ain't shit according to the Zurich study in 2015 and the... uh... uh... study from Cambridge. So we know about 35 to 55 year old dudes giving them stronger DNA.

And here we are in the middle of Covic19, I'm Gen X and you're Gen Z. Think about this a second, we're going to need stronger DNA with more immunity after a pandemic. 'Cause Spokane County is doing nothing but going up since March 14th. 0 Cases on March 14th, June 23rd 1051 Cases, July 11th 2026 Cases, July 23rd 3034 Cases.

<<It breaks up for a second>>

August 4th, Obama's Birthday, are you a Democrat Baby? I'm right here. 4059 Cases. August 22nd, 5011 Cases. September 16th, 6040 Cases. September 26th 7040 Cases. <<unintelligible>> October 10th, 8040 Cases. October 22 9017 Cases. November 1 10006 Cases. "

HE FUCKIN CALLED A WOMAN OVULATOR DIRECTLY, MY SIDES ARE IN ORBIT

thank you for transcribing these messages because I have tried to listen to Lucas talk but I can’t. Seriously, I physically can’t. There is some primitive part of my female brain that cringes and sets off predator vibes and I have to snap the volume off almost immediately.