Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

Looks like step Santa got lil Lucas a Christmas getaway at Motel6
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"I, a 41-year old man, had to beg my step-daddy to pay for my food and shelter for tonight. This proves what a good paternal candidate I am for your future offspring. Be impressed pls."

EDIT: Lmao he's bargaining with things he hasn't even secured yet lol

Future goals: Convince my real father to let me move in permanently and eventually inherit his land, money & elk
Current goal: Convince my step-father to buy me a room and food so I dont sleep hungry in the cold
 
No he defiantly got stood up by step daddy

So he'll be the bus station bandit on christmas then

I wonder if the bus station is even open on christmas, what with it being a federal holiday and all. There is very little actually open in alot of places

He'd texted his stepdad larry, asked for a motel room and food. There has been no reply back from his stepdad.

I'd say that is a reply, just not one lucas has the brainpower to fully grasp. He's getting told to stfu and leave him alone cause hes doesn't want anything to do with lucas cause hes a creepy pedo, without having to say a word
 
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I'm not sure if that implies he actually got the motel room he wanted or not

and I noticed this thumbnail. IG sure cut that thumbnail off at an interesting point didn't it

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4 year old women indeed

and shit, I didn't know lucas was the EMH on voyager

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and yes that is a real screenshot
Hahahahaha!!! Ah, Merry Christmas fellow Wernologists. Though there are some ignorant fucks who continue to coddle this cretin, seems as though the family won’t. And even in the face of cold nights on the street, the diseased sack of shit wants a woman.
 
It's so incredibly his own fault that he's too broke to afford a motel room on Christmas Eve. He gets paid every month and he knew Christmas was coming. Guess he really was all in on the California thing and figured he didn't need money anymore. And I take it he got scammed out of his food by Isaac and company? It's been a good month for Lucas, hasn't it?
 
Looks like step Santa got lil Lucas a Christmas getaway at Motel6
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I miss read this, Guess he was on the naughty list again

Could you imagine getting a text from your 41 year old stepson explaining the LA Catfish + Kiwifarms on Christmas Eve?

I wouldn't answer either.

I'd probably change my number and not tell him.

But also, he got Lucas' number from me; he messaged me on FB (posted that a few pages back) and not only did I give him Lucas' number--and if you're reading Lucas, I got it from your IG when you doxxed yourself looking for a date a few weeks ago--gave him a rundown of the situation, linked him here, and linked him to both my youtube channel, Lucas' IG, and Lucas' two channels so I'm sure that was a fun text conversation they had.

So he'll be the bus station bandit on christmas then

I wonder if the bus station is even open on christmas, what with it being a federal holiday and all. There is very little actually open in alot of places



I'd say that is a reply, just not one lucas has the brainpower to fully grasp. He's getting told to stfu and leave him alone cause hes doesn't want anything to do with lucas cause hes a creepy pedo, without having to say a word

I'm so sorry to bring one of my favorite bands into this, but the title always reminds me of Lucas. Unlike Lucas, the guy in the song is eventually successful because he has skills in something useful.

Sleepin' on the sidewalk is also exactly what Lucas will be doing once he's off that bus again.

 
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"Without proof" suggests that he's considered it could be true, Jesus fuckin Christ Lucas.
 
I bet his family were all up for helping him...his step dad messaged @klickitat wanting to get in touch after all. He was in a sticky situation (of his own making, granted) and it is Christmas. A time for sharing, forgiveness, family and caring for those less fortunate.

So Larry picks up the phone and rings Lucas, after @klickitat so kindly passed on his number. Lucas answers, thanks Larry for ringing, for thinking about him during this traumatic time.

'I really need something to eat, and a place to stay over Christmas...in fact, can I come home for the holidays?'.

Larry's filling up. God knows he and Lucas have had their problems, but maybe...this time...

'of course you can son. We've missed you. We love you so much. Come home son. Everything will be OK. Come home.'

'thanks dad', says Lucas, trying to choke back the tears. God, he loves his family. He can't even remember what it was they argued about the last time they all saw each other. When was it now...? Was it his brothers birthday? Yeah, they had that big bbq, and the kids were all in the pool...wait...just a minute...

'Lucas, are you still there son? Your mum is just looking up flights now...it might have to be a private jet, what with it being Xmas eve...'

'yeah, dad, listen...is [niece] gonna be there? Is she??'

'why, no son...they've gone to Bermuda for the holi...'

'YOU COCKBLOCKING BIGOT!! TRUMP SUPPORTER!! YOU GREEDY COCKBLOCKING AGEIST! YOU CATFISHED ME, YOU...'

*Larry throws the phone on the fire, buys house in Alaska*

Happy Christmas, one and all 🎉
 
Narr Then said:
*Larry throws the phone on the fire, buys house in Alaska*

At this point i'm surprised he hasn't

That said, his family members should just change their numbers and stop answering him, and pay for one of those number redirect services for their old numbers, so that whenever lucas tries to call one of them the call is redirected to the spokane mental health services hotline

Goldaor said:
I just saw the whole transcript of the convo with the catfish: nothing super interesting really beside that he confirmed he checks kiwi to my surprise!!

He reads it and he STILL didn't realize he was being catfished when we pointed out in detail how obvious it was for days
 
I just saw the whole transcript of the convo with the catfish: nothing super interesting really beside that he confirmed he checks kiwi to my surprise!!

I figured we all assumed he did at least once in a while, mainly because someone will say something specific on here and within a day or two he brushes on it, sometimes even word for word. It's happened too many times for it to be a coincidence.

The other day I said even if he accomplishes his goal (getting a zoomer bae) his life will still be a flaming pile of shit, and like a day later when he was all worked up in the streets of LA talking about approaching 18 y/o's in college he said "I WILL accomplish my goal"


And by the way Lucas, sure you will. We'll always be here to laugh when you fail, and you WILL fail. And it WILL never be in the cards.
 
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