Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

mothman96 said:
Broccoli now brussel sprouts. He's already a farter, now with that combination the fetid farts he's going to be brewing.

ETA:
1st day of class is next Tuesday Jan 5th. Maybe with the Freak being on campus with the hot baes, he'll go back to being the Lucas we know.
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I would be very very surprised if he actually returns to school then! God help anyone who has to be near his stinky self.

Edit:. He may put school on hold with his exciting new career of voice work doing insult videos.
 
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Was really hoping Lucas was without a bed tonight
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Gaear Grimsrud said:
Is this considered an "impressive meal"?

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Dear Lord, the lip smacking and heavy breathing. I didn't even last a minute. Just like the wern.
Gaear Grimsrud said:
This is a good old vid from him.

He's semi-lucid here, and he can kinda understand how fucked he is.

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This one is a bit sad. Getting so close to a bit of self awareness, but not quite enough. Maybe if he had carried on with some of this thinking he wouldn't be as far gone as he is now.
Gaear Grimsrud said:
It's been 10 minutes. Time to eat again.

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A bit of a step down from $100 worth of clinkernigger ey.
And again with the chomping sounds. Boak.

Edit - and still more of a 'foody' than Chantal. That thought cracks me up constantly :story:
 
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GleamingTheQ-Bert said:
I hate to say it, but I kind of agree with this.

It's funny, when people are busy applying all sort of Chris-Chan allusions to Lucas, talking about Katherine and the man in the pickle suit, are people aware of what they're asking for or joking about, really?

Do people really want to take a cow that's as bizarre and angry as Lucas, and turn him into the dried-up, impotent , only-motivated-by-money husk that is present-day OPL?

Think about what you're asking for peeps...

Lucas thinks he's on top of the world when he has a Slurpee and a burrito.

He doesn't need anything else.

He was able to stuff himself and stay obese relying only on food bank and homeless shelter food.

I certainly hope some of the largesse directed at him had to do with people who don't know him that well feeling sorry for him over the holidays, and some of the recent money is just because his profile has been raised slightly in the Lolcow-sphere, but Lucas produces content because he can't not.

Lucas has diarrhea of the mouth and brain, and the things he says get him in way more trouble than his responses to any questions that anyone asks, ever.

He's getting guarded, the way Chris-chan eventually realized that any woman who got in touch with him was a catfish, yes, Lucas is indeed a fucking moron, but even a dog eventually realizes when you keep whacking him on the nose when he goes for a bite of food.
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Was only half serious about hoping for someone to give Lucas the pickle man treatment because itd be funny but i know that wouldnt end well. Seriously just imagine how he would react if he finally gets the date he's been waiting for and his 9 year quest for poonaner is finally over. They go to Clinkerdaggers and Lucas hits her with the tried and true "hi im Lucas" line managing to only lightly cum himself and for like 5-10 minutes of one sided telomere ranting things are going just great. Then right when he's about to ask her if she wants to go fuck in the snow pile behind the dumpster in comes Picklebill dropping gamer words to assert dominance over the entire restraunt and get her attention before flashing her a credit card, shes just super into it and they ditch Lucas and head off to the pickle mansion to join the rest of the harem for a wild pickle orgy. She didnt finish her food though and already paid so count that as a win for the Wern.

 
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I can't watch video of someone just eating and not even talking. Barf.

I realized I read the whole Greer thread but actually started later in the Werner thread, so at least I have plenty to read while I wait for him to do something interesting.
I will say to all the people complaining about the interaction with this particular cow, it's been happening since the beginning of the thread. I'm not advocating for it but this thread has definitely not been a paragon of rule following, ha.
 
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Iseecovidpeople said:
Buckle up, it’s going to be like this for a minute.
He thinks he can make serious money with this new venture.
There are people out there that are really witty and great at insult comedy.
That is not Lucas.
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We need the Chris Hansen video response to Wern's video.
I can only hope someone will troll fatty to do a dis video on the wrong kind of fruitcake involved in some stupid online beef. As long as acorn dick ends up getting a slapping I'll be "plenty good"
 
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I have no idea why it took me THIS long to notice (but, probably it was because I wasn't looking closely at pictures of Lucas' button mushroom), but look at that huge, festering, open sore that takes up almost 1/3 the length of the stubby thing.

Yeah, just what some young girl wants rubbing up against her: A MRSA sore riddled microdick on a dude who has to move an entire fupa and gut out of the way just to get it near her.

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klickitat said:
I have no idea why it took me THIS long to notice (but, probably it was because I wasn't looking closely at pictures of Lucas' button mushroom), but look at that huge, festering, open sore that takes up almost 1/3 the length of the stubby thing.

Yeah, just what some young girl wants rubbing up against her: A MRSA sore riddled microdick on a dude who has to move an entire fupa and gut out of the way just to get it near her.

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I believe that pic is where all the talk about Lucas's MRSA infected penis comes from.

Of his many misfortunes, that's one of the best.
 
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Telomoron said:
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Time to go blow it all on some impressive meals!

ETA: How amazing of a twist would it be if he ended up getting in trouble with the IRS for not paying taxes on any of this money he's "earning"
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Wow! A whole $100. Rich, rich man! What a nest egg! He has no true concept of money because he has not worked in 20 years. The dumbass will definitely blow it on fancy meals. Most successful working people don't regularly go out and buy $70 steak dinners. For a stinky bum to do it is pure lunacy.

$100 could buy a hat, gloves, snow boots, and at least a warm sweater. But where is the fun in that?

I bet the staff at Clinkerdaggers and Churchills cringe when he walks in looking and smelling like he does. It would be funny if they enacted a dress code thanks to him stinking up their restaurants. I am thinking Washington may have an indoor dining ban currently but it would be funny if he went in and was turned away for his shabby clothes and smell.
 
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