Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

I've been talking to him for 2 years now on an account he doesn't know is me. He's VERY, VERY different in private; not better, just different. Mostly, if you're not someone he's trying to fuck, his low self esteem, inability to socialize normally, defense mechanisms that keep him from having to face reality, and constant anxiety is extremely obvious. At any given time, he's usually hovering around something that's a mixture of severe depression and also a borderline panic attack.

Dude cries, like, literally, on an incredibly regular and frequent basis.

It's definitely not an act, he really doesn't see anything strange or off about his behavior and it legitimately confuses him when he gets called "creepy" because of it. This dumbass honest to fucking god thinks that his comedy is funny (now and again he can manage some 'heh' level wordplay but beyond that nothing is even remotely funny) and that he's something akin to what always reminds me of that 90s song Rico Suave.

Some of it at this point is definitely a psychological defense mechanism as it keeps him from having to face the harsh reality of his life but a lot of it seems to genuinely be shit he's believed since he was a kid: That he's an amazing, witty, charming, friendly, easy going guy and it's other people that make life difficult for him.

That attitude lines up extremely well with the narrative his mom posted on her old blog, because that's exactly how she talks about him (understandable as most moms are like that about their own kids but still). There's no possible way he didn't spend his entire childhood and teenage years being coddled and cooed over by mommy dearest, who 100% told him nothing that happened to him was his fault.

That attitude is common in most adults who had a mother that went full on coddling crazy over their kid and never allowed them to think any of their failures or failings were their fault.

In all this time and during all those conversations, was there anything our boi said to you that really stands out in your mind?
 
Whoever is paying Lucas to do these stupid call out videos is exceptional. Very much exceptional. What a waste of $50. Handing it to an Lolcow! Stupid. It is just inflating his awful ego.
I think school is an old idea and he has decided he will be way too busy with his video career to possibly go to classes.
 
Whoever is paying Lucas to do these stupid call out videos is exceptional. Very much exceptional. What a waste of $50. Handing it to an Lolcow! Stupid. It is just inflating his awful ego.
I think school is an old idea and he has decided he will be way too busy with his video career to possibly go to classes.
Clearly Lucas shouldn’t be studying maths in school, since $1900 in student aid tardbux >> $150 dollars in insult comic tardbux. Real genius this one.
 
Clearly Lucas shouldn’t be studying maths in school, since $1900 in student aid tardbux >> $150 dollars in insult comic tardbux. Real genius this one.

If Lucas is not attending classes due to this, then it says a lot. It should be Lucas not returning to school because he has no stable housing. That is the number one reason why he should not return to school. But nope! Lucas is too busy with his hobo burn videos.

This shows how un-serious he truly is about an education. What a waste of tax payers money. That is all Lucas is. We have to pay his tardbux and food stamps and pay for his hobo shelters. Now, if the cow wants to pretend to try to get an education and we have to pay for that too. He will never ever pay those student loans back and he is entitled to Pell Grants. I guess if this stops him from being at college it is a good thing. His last stint at SCC was not as good as we hoped it would be.
 
In all this time and during all those conversations, was there anything our boi said to you that really stands out in your mind?

He's kind of boring, to be honest, it's nearly impossible to keep a conversation going with him if it's not focused on him.

Context for the people who don't know: He thinks I'm a woman in her mid-20s, just outside his fuckable range. Early on I tried to correct him, but it didn't exactly work, so I just went with it.

I guess some key points, apart from what I've already said:

1. He really is that dumb when it comes to catfish. I've warned him, with proof stopping just short of, "they're talking about it on KF", that every single catfish since late 2019 was a catfish, described how the red flags are red flags, and every time he insists I'm being too suspicious or that I haven't talked to her so how could I know?

Shockingly, every time I've been right.

Shockingly, every time he falls for the exact same thing sometimes only days after falling for one.

Catfishing The Wern is kind of on par with letting your dog "find" food under a solo cup as a party trick; the dog's going to find it every time, and Lucas is going to get catfished every time.

2. He is immensely racist and anti-semitic. His fixation on mostly Asian women is that he's sure they'd be more agreeable/submissive than black women or Latina women or literally any other kind of woman.

3. He's definitely misogynistic.

He absolutely hates it if he perceives someone he thinks is a woman being more intelligent or successful than he is. You can kind of see that in the difference in the way he reacted to being made fun of by the guys on The Geek Room vs. the women.

With men, he treats it as banter/ribbing/horseplay that's all in good fun.

With women, it's a highly personal threat.

The thing is, you can argue all you want that the two women that were on the Geek Room stream with him were being bitchy or rude or whatever, but the thing is, it wouldn't have mattered either way, because he expects women to be automatically submissive and polite toward men.

#4 elaborates.

4. Despite that, he DOES find it easier to talk to women but it's largely because most women are conditioned to be polite; the problem is he legit isn't able to recognize the social cues that would tell anyone else that someone is being polite because they're afraid of how you'll react if they tell you to fuck off. He interprets that as women "being nicer" than men. It's not possible to convince him otherwise, the closest I got was managing to explain to him around the time he put out a few videos about how he "now realizes" it's not appropriate to hit on women at work because they have no way to end the conversation or leave without risking being fired.

He didn't realize that, I spent three days in a "Where do I go to download RAM?" style conversation with him explaining it.

He does not understand that most women are polite to people like him when face to face because they're genuinely uncomfortable and aren't sure if they can get away from him safely or are afraid of how he'll react if they piss him off. He thinks that women are just "naturally" more polite.

When he encounters a woman who does anything but agree with him, she's automatically a bitch, a cunt, a whore, a slut, stupid, etc...because, in his mind, if she weren't, she'd be agreeing with everything he says.

5. He genuinely does not understand the concept of burner numbers.

6. I'm 100% sure he has severe issues with short term memory, because we've had multiple versions of the same conversation or I've brought up something he said a few days prior and he has no recollection of it, even after being shown screenshots. He also forgets what he says in videos almost as soon as he's done recording.

Not sure if that's something that's always been an issue for him or if it's because of the sheer amount of weed he smokes, but he definitely has problems with short term memory.

The most recent example is how he's convinced I coined the "it's not in the cards" phrase, even after he saw the video I put up that was just a video of him explaining that it's something his mom says to him. He honest to fuck thinks I fabricated that video.

7. Same with the Facebook screenshots that get posted here where he's admitted to being a pedo, admitted to trying to blackmail people into giving him women to rape in exchange, etc...it's all fabricated, he doesn't remember it. That also showed up a lot in a few Golden USB episodes, and when you do send him links to it on his own channels or social media that is genuine confusion and not remembering posting that. Telling people Jason Perva, Dan Campbell, or "trolls" posted it isn't some transparent defense mechanism, he legit doesn't remember doing it and can't figure out WHY he would have posted something so damning and since he gets trolled regularly enough that he can't forget it that's what he assumes happened.

8. He doesn't understand boundaries, just in general, including his own.

9. When pressed in a conversation to the point that he can't fall back on his current narrative, like, when being confronted with the reality of something being wildly different than his swiss cheese brain remembers it, he doesn't know what to do. He'll stumble, stammer, go silent, go offline, or try to change the topic.

This happens most commonly in situations where, say, he'll tell you his current narrative and you'll show him a recent video of himself saying the exact opposite; it's hard to reconcile a video he took of himself saying something with whatever his current short term memory recalls, so he short circuits.

If you watch his body language and expressions carefully enough, it's clearly not faked, there's a lot of involuntary shit he does that gives it away as some kind of issue with his brain not working correctly; it's on par with the kind of reaction you get with different varieties of dementia or certain types of mental illness if you try to correct a delusion the patient is currently having: It makes it worse and often leads to a hostile reaction or the other person shutting down entirely.

10. He is very, very bad at figuring out when someone IS harmlessly joking with him vs. trolling him. That's sort of understandable given everything above, but it means you have to speak to him very, very carefully if you don't want an impulsive block. In a relationship situation, these traits would mean anyone who was with him would be constantly walking on eggshells.

I've worked with Alzheimer's patients both inside and outside my own family for a long time, so I know how to navigate the waters of The Wern's mind pretty well while avoiding enabling him AND avoiding tripping his defense mechanisms when reality differs from his short term memory.

11. Speaking of memory though, his long term memory isn't much better. It's there in a lot of bits and pieces, which may be due to all the weed he smokes, but also likely has a basis in whatever "illness" happened to him as a kid and by unchecked mental illness. There's a lot he remembers, and there's a lot he doesn't, and they're not minor things either. He has whole years of his life that he doesn't remember; if shown shit he posted from those times, he legitimately does not recall any of it.

12. Where friendships are concerned, he doesn't know how they work. I suspect he's never had friends who were doing anything but using him until what he could offer wasn't worth dealing with him anymore. He views friendships and relationships as highly transactional.

To a degree all relationships ARE transactional on some level, they're give and take, but it's a relatively equal give and take.

With Lucas, he believes because he gives friends anything they ask him for, they should do the same and doesn't see that there's a world of difference between asking someone to buy meals, get weed, get alcohol, get $AnyMaterialThing and "Get me a woman to fuck". Some of that leads back into #3 and #4 about how misogynistic he is, but a lot of it is that he simply doesn't seem to be able to see the difference between the two or how, "I bought you dinner and smoked you out, you owe me sex." is entirely inappropriate and creepy.

13. Part of the low self esteem, but he's absolutely terrified that he's bad at sex and his exes never told him and that any woman who sees his itty bitty teenie weenie will just laugh and leave.

14. He has no idea how female anatomy works or is laid out apart from "this is where titties are, and this general area is where the other stuff is". He wasn't joking around or making a slip of words when he talked about 'fucking a clitoris' in a few videos, he uses that word interchangeably with vagina and is wholly unaware that "vagina" doesn't encompass everything below the belt that isn't the ass.

You're welcome for that conversational tidbit I had to sit through with him.

15. Given #14, and his obsession with fisting--and not even knowing how to hold his hand in his 'demonstrations' on video--it's a pretty safe bet to say that The Wern is absolutely horrible in bed.

16. When he's leaving voice DMs for someone he's not mad at and doesn't want to fuck, he sounds entirely normal; he has normal speech patterns, he has normal pitch/volume, he laughs easily, he can banter (even if you reply with text, he can verbally banter), he's very conversational and warm.

I have no earthly idea how he manages to not translate that to text or DMs with people he wants to fuck, but there are glimpses when he leaves normal voice DMs that SOMEWHERE there's a viable, normal, even likable person. It's just so buried under everything else that there's next to no chance of it becoming anything more than occasional glimpses.

The thing is, that's how he views himself.

If he talked in voice DMs to women he wanted to fuck the way he talks to someone he thinks is a woman but also doesn't want to fuck, he might actually have a decent shot...until they Google his name or look at any of his videos, that is.

The most curious part is, the one time I asked him why he doesn't talk to women he wants to fuck the way he talks to me...

17. ...the answer was a combination of that he didn't know, that he didn't see much of a difference (dude...), and that he freezes up in situations where he actually likes someone in what amounts to a sexual or romantic context. Fair enough, that happens to a lot of people when they're nervous; it's still interesting to know he CAN interact with women (or, in my case, someone he perceives to be a woman) like a normal person but only if he's not interested in fucking them.

18. He D E S P E R A T E L Y wants to be seen as having above average intelligent/an intellectual, but not because he thinks it'll get him laid (remember, nobody fucks nerds or something), because he spent his childhood, entire schooling career, and adulthood being constantly told he's stupid, he's slow, he's a sped, he's a retard, etc...the only person to ever really tell him he wasn't was, of course, his mom.


Edit:

19. He's definitely not straight. Part of why he hyperfixates on women having to be A Certain Way is so he doesn't have to think about the fact that he's, at the very least, bi.

That mixed with his generalized misogyny is also why he doesn't like and/or is hostile toward women he thinks are butch or not performing being feminine correctly. Butch women, especially if they're lesbians or bi, are a threat to him not because they're potentially fucking women he'd also like to fuck, but because, to him, they remind him of men and that reminds him that he's also attracted to men, which he absolutely does not want to be.

His homophobia is almost entirely internalized. He's terrified of being seen as gay.


Edit 2 to add an important bit about Friendship & The Wern that I'd forgotten:

20. He's very, very desperate to have friends and, while everyone changes their personality to a degree depending on who they're hanging around with, Lucas will change his ENTIRE personality in an effort to get other men or unfuckable (but not butch) women to like him.

He's incredibly easy to lead if you're subtle about it and will say/do just about anything to make you like him.

He thinks he's manipulative in the same way, but he really isn't; if you let him think he's lead you now and again he absolutely will not notice you leading him exactly where you want him to go, you just have to be subtle about it.

The reason he puts up with friends who treat him like shit is partially because he doesn't recognize it as something that isn't "horseplay" when it's other men doing it, and partially because he is a very hard time seeing if he's being manipulated unless you're blatantly obvious about it--like telling him he should consider going on medication or that he should consider maybe not trying to fuck young girls.

That's where Isik and his brother fucked up: They started wading into the, "Maybe don't try to fuck young girls, this is bullshit, creepy fake science and you know it" waters. Even then, as long as he gets an apology (and trust me, he cannot differentiate between sincere and insincere apologies) he'll usually forgive the other person and go right back into doing whatever they want as long as he gets to keep the "friendship".
 
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He's kind of boring, to be honest, it's nearly impossible to keep a conversation going with him if it's not focused on him.

Context for the people who don't know: He thinks I'm a woman in her mid-20s, just outside his fuckable range. Early on I tried to correct him, but it didn't exactly work, so I just went with it.

I guess some key points, apart from what I've already said:

1. He really is that dumb when it comes to catfish. I've warned him, with proof stopping just short of, "they're talking about it on KF", that every single catfish since late 2019 was a catfish, described how the red flags are red flags, and every time he insists I'm being too suspicious or that I haven't talked to her so how could I know?

Shockingly, every time I've been right.

Shockingly, every time he falls for the exact same thing sometimes only days after falling for one.

Catfishing The Wern is kind of on par with letting your dog "find" food under a solo cup as a party trick; the dog's going to find it every time, and Lucas is going to get catfished every time.

2. He is immensely racist and anti-semitic. His fixation on mostly Asian women is that he's sure they'd be more agreeable/submissive than black women or Latina women or literally any other kind of woman.

3. He's definitely misogynistic.

He absolutely hates it if he perceives someone he thinks is a woman being more intelligent or successful than he is. You can kind of see that in the difference in the way he reacted to being made fun of by the guys on The Geek Room vs. the women.

With men, he treats it as banter/ribbing/horseplay that's all in good fun.

With women, it's a highly personal threat.

The thing is, you can argue all you want that the two women that were on the Geek Room stream with him were being bitchy or rude or whatever, but the thing is, it wouldn't have mattered either way, because he expects women to be automatically submissive and polite toward men.

#4 elaborates.

4. Despite that, he DOES find it easier to talk to women but it's largely because most women are conditioned to be polite; the problem is he legit isn't able to recognize the social cues that would tell anyone else that someone is being polite because they're afraid of how you'll react if they tell you to fuck off. He interprets that as women "being nicer" than men. It's not possible to convince him otherwise, the closest I got was managing to explain to him around the time he put out a few videos about how he "now realizes" it's not appropriate to hit on women at work because they have no way to end the conversation or leave without risking being fired.

He didn't realize that, I spent three days in a "Where do I go to download RAM?" style conversation with him explaining it.

He does not understand that most women are polite to people like him when face to face because they're genuinely uncomfortable and aren't sure if they can get away from him safely or are afraid of how he'll react if they piss him off. He thinks that women are just "naturally" more polite.

When he encounters a woman who does anything but agree with him, she's automatically a bitch, a cunt, a whore, a slut, stupid, etc...because, in his mind, if she weren't, she'd be agreeing with everything he says.

5. He genuinely does not understand the concept of burner numbers.

6. I'm 100% sure he has severe issues with short term memory, because we've had multiple versions of the same conversation or I've brought up something he said a few days prior and he has no recollection of it, even after being shown screenshots. He also forgets what he says in videos almost as soon as he's done recording.

Not sure if that's something that's always been an issue for him or if it's because of the sheer amount of weed he smokes, but he definitely has problems with short term memory.

The most recent example is how he's convinced I coined the "it's not in the cards" phrase, even after he saw the video I put up that was just a video of him explaining that it's something his mom says to him. He honest to fuck thinks I fabricated that video.

7. Same with the Facebook screenshots that get posted here where he's admitted to being a pedo, admitted to trying to blackmail people into giving him women to rape in exchange, etc...it's all fabricated, he doesn't remember it. That also showed up a lot in a few Golden USB episodes, and when you do send him links to it on his own channels or social media that is genuine confusion and not remembering posting that. Telling people Jason Perva, Dan Campbell, or "trolls" posted it isn't some transparent defense mechanism, he legit doesn't remember doing it and can't figure out WHY he would have posted something so damning and since he gets trolled regularly enough that he can't forget it that's what he assumes happened.

8. He doesn't understand boundaries, just in general, including his own.

9. When pressed in a conversation to the point that he can't fall back on his current narrative, like, when being confronted with the reality of something being wildly different than his swiss cheese brain remembers it, he doesn't know what to do. He'll stumble, stammer, go silent, go offline, or try to change the topic.

This happens most commonly in situations where, say, he'll tell you his current narrative and you'll show him a recent video of himself saying the exact opposite; it's hard to reconcile a video he took of himself saying something with whatever his current short term memory recalls, so he short circuits.

If you watch his body language and expressions carefully enough, it's clearly not faked, there's a lot of involuntary shit he does that gives it away as some kind of issue with his brain not working correctly; it's on par with the kind of reaction you get with different varieties of dementia or certain types of mental illness if you try to correct a delusion the patient is currently having: It makes it worse and often leads to a hostile reaction or the other person shutting down entirely.

10. He is very, very bad at figuring out when someone IS harmlessly joking with him vs. trolling him. That's sort of understandable given everything above, but it means you have to speak to him very, very carefully if you don't want an impulsive block. In a relationship situation, these traits would mean anyone who was with him would be constantly walking on eggshells.

I've worked with Alzheimer's patients both inside and outside my own family for a long time, so I know how to navigate the waters of The Wern's mind pretty well while avoiding enabling him AND avoiding tripping his defense mechanisms when reality differs from his short term memory.

11. Speaking of memory though, his long term memory isn't much better. It's there in a lot of bits and pieces, which may be due to all the weed he smokes, but also likely has a basis in whatever "illness" happened to him as a kid and by unchecked mental illness. There's a lot he remembers, and there's a lot he doesn't, and they're not minor things either. He has whole years of his life that he doesn't remember; if shown shit he posted from those times, he legitimately does not recall any of it.

12. Where friendships are concerned, he doesn't know how they work. I suspect he's never had friends who were doing anything but using him until what he could offer wasn't worth dealing with him anymore. He views friendships and relationships as highly transactional.

To a degree all relationships ARE transactional on some level, they're give and take, but it's a relatively equal give and take.

With Lucas, he believes because he gives friends anything they ask him for, they should do the same and doesn't see that there's a world of difference between asking someone to buy meals, get weed, get alcohol, get $AnyMaterialThing and "Get me a woman to fuck". Some of that leads back into #3 and #4 about how misogynistic he is, but a lot of it is that he simply doesn't seem to be able to see the difference between the two or how, "I bought you dinner and smoked you out, you owe me sex." is entirely inappropriate and creepy.

13. Part of the low self esteem, but he's absolutely terrified that he's bad at sex and his exes never told him and that any woman who sees his itty bitty teenie weenie will just laugh and leave.

14. He has no idea how female anatomy works or is laid out apart from "this is where titties are, and this general area is where the other stuff is". He wasn't joking around or making a slip of words when he talked about 'fucking a clitoris' in a few videos, he uses that word interchangeably with vagina and is wholly unaware that "vagina" doesn't encompass everything below the belt that isn't the ass.

You're welcome for that conversational tidbit I had to sit through with him.

15. Given #14, and his obsession with fisting--and not even knowing how to hold his hand in his 'demonstrations' on video--it's a pretty safe bet to say that The Wern is absolutely horrible in bed.

16. When he's leaving voice DMs for someone he's not mad at and doesn't want to fuck, he sounds entirely normal; he has normal speech patterns, he has normal pitch/volume, he laughs easily, he can banter (even if you reply with text, he can verbally banter), he's very conversational and warm.

I have no earthly idea how he manages to not translate that to text or DMs with people he wants to fuck, but there are glimpses when he leaves normal voice DMs that SOMEWHERE there's a viable, normal, even likable person. It's just so buried under everything else that there's next to no chance of it becoming anything more than occasional glimpses.

The thing is, that's how he views himself.

If he talked in voice DMs to women he wanted to fuck the way he talks to someone he thinks is a woman but also doesn't want to fuck, he might actually have a decent shot...until they Google his name or look at any of his videos, that is.

The most curious part is, the one time I asked him why he doesn't talk to women he wants to fuck the way he talks to me...

17. ...the answer was a combination of that he didn't know, that he didn't see much of a difference (dude...), and that he freezes up in situations where he actually likes someone in what amounts to a sexual or romantic context. Fair enough, that happens to a lot of people when they're nervous; it's still interesting to know he CAN interact with women (or, in my case, someone he perceives to be a woman) like a normal person but only if he's not interested in fucking them.

18. He D E S P E R A T E L Y wants to be seen as having above average intelligent/an intellectual, but not because he thinks it'll get him laid (remember, nobody fucks nerds or something), because he spent his childhood, entire schooling career, and adulthood being constantly told he's stupid, he's slow, he's a sped, he's a retard, etc...the only person to ever really tell him he wasn't was, of course, his mom.


Edit:

19. He's definitely not straight. Part of why he hyperfixates on women having to be A Certain Way is so he doesn't have to think about the fact that he's, at the very least, bi.

That mixed with his generalized misogyny is also why he doesn't like and/or is hostile toward women he thinks are butch or not performing being feminine correctly. Butch women, especially if they're lesbians or bi, are a threat to him not because they're potentially fucking women he'd also like to fuck, but because, to him, they remind him of men and that reminds him that he's also attracted to men, which he absolutely does not want to be.

His homophobia is almost entirely internalized. He's terrified of being seen as gay.
Thank you for all your hard work. I’ve been fascinated for a long time about what he’s like one-on-one but never had the balls to actually pet the cow myself. This is enormously insightful to me.
 
He's kind of boring, to be honest, it's nearly impossible to keep a conversation going with him if it's not focused on him.

Context for the people who don't know: He thinks I'm a woman in her mid-20s, just outside his fuckable range. Early on I tried to correct him, but it didn't exactly work, so I just went with it.

I guess some key points, apart from what I've already said:

1. He really is that dumb when it comes to catfish. I've warned him, with proof stopping just short of, "they're talking about it on KF", that every single catfish since late 2019 was a catfish, described how the red flags are red flags, and every time he insists I'm being too suspicious or that I haven't talked to her so how could I know?

Shockingly, every time I've been right.

Shockingly, every time he falls for the exact same thing sometimes only days after falling for one.

Catfishing The Wern is kind of on par with letting your dog "find" food under a solo cup as a party trick; the dog's going to find it every time, and Lucas is going to get catfished every time.

2. He is immensely racist and anti-semitic. His fixation on mostly Asian women is that he's sure they'd be more agreeable/submissive than black women or Latina women or literally any other kind of woman.

3. He's definitely misogynistic.

He absolutely hates it if he perceives someone he thinks is a woman being more intelligent or successful than he is. You can kind of see that in the difference in the way he reacted to being made fun of by the guys on The Geek Room vs. the women.

With men, he treats it as banter/ribbing/horseplay that's all in good fun.

With women, it's a highly personal threat.

The thing is, you can argue all you want that the two women that were on the Geek Room stream with him were being bitchy or rude or whatever, but the thing is, it wouldn't have mattered either way, because he expects women to be automatically submissive and polite toward men.

#4 elaborates.

4. Despite that, he DOES find it easier to talk to women but it's largely because most women are conditioned to be polite; the problem is he legit isn't able to recognize the social cues that would tell anyone else that someone is being polite because they're afraid of how you'll react if they tell you to fuck off. He interprets that as women "being nicer" than men. It's not possible to convince him otherwise, the closest I got was managing to explain to him around the time he put out a few videos about how he "now realizes" it's not appropriate to hit on women at work because they have no way to end the conversation or leave without risking being fired.

He didn't realize that, I spent three days in a "Where do I go to download RAM?" style conversation with him explaining it.

He does not understand that most women are polite to people like him when face to face because they're genuinely uncomfortable and aren't sure if they can get away from him safely or are afraid of how he'll react if they piss him off. He thinks that women are just "naturally" more polite.

When he encounters a woman who does anything but agree with him, she's automatically a bitch, a cunt, a whore, a slut, stupid, etc...because, in his mind, if she weren't, she'd be agreeing with everything he says.

5. He genuinely does not understand the concept of burner numbers.

6. I'm 100% sure he has severe issues with short term memory, because we've had multiple versions of the same conversation or I've brought up something he said a few days prior and he has no recollection of it, even after being shown screenshots. He also forgets what he says in videos almost as soon as he's done recording.

Not sure if that's something that's always been an issue for him or if it's because of the sheer amount of weed he smokes, but he definitely has problems with short term memory.

The most recent example is how he's convinced I coined the "it's not in the cards" phrase, even after he saw the video I put up that was just a video of him explaining that it's something his mom says to him. He honest to fuck thinks I fabricated that video.

7. Same with the Facebook screenshots that get posted here where he's admitted to being a pedo, admitted to trying to blackmail people into giving him women to rape in exchange, etc...it's all fabricated, he doesn't remember it. That also showed up a lot in a few Golden USB episodes, and when you do send him links to it on his own channels or social media that is genuine confusion and not remembering posting that. Telling people Jason Perva, Dan Campbell, or "trolls" posted it isn't some transparent defense mechanism, he legit doesn't remember doing it and can't figure out WHY he would have posted something so damning and since he gets trolled regularly enough that he can't forget it that's what he assumes happened.

8. He doesn't understand boundaries, just in general, including his own.

9. When pressed in a conversation to the point that he can't fall back on his current narrative, like, when being confronted with the reality of something being wildly different than his swiss cheese brain remembers it, he doesn't know what to do. He'll stumble, stammer, go silent, go offline, or try to change the topic.

This happens most commonly in situations where, say, he'll tell you his current narrative and you'll show him a recent video of himself saying the exact opposite; it's hard to reconcile a video he took of himself saying something with whatever his current short term memory recalls, so he short circuits.

If you watch his body language and expressions carefully enough, it's clearly not faked, there's a lot of involuntary shit he does that gives it away as some kind of issue with his brain not working correctly; it's on par with the kind of reaction you get with different varieties of dementia or certain types of mental illness if you try to correct a delusion the patient is currently having: It makes it worse and often leads to a hostile reaction or the other person shutting down entirely.

10. He is very, very bad at figuring out when someone IS harmlessly joking with him vs. trolling him. That's sort of understandable given everything above, but it means you have to speak to him very, very carefully if you don't want an impulsive block. In a relationship situation, these traits would mean anyone who was with him would be constantly walking on eggshells.

I've worked with Alzheimer's patients both inside and outside my own family for a long time, so I know how to navigate the waters of The Wern's mind pretty well while avoiding enabling him AND avoiding tripping his defense mechanisms when reality differs from his short term memory.

11. Speaking of memory though, his long term memory isn't much better. It's there in a lot of bits and pieces, which may be due to all the weed he smokes, but also likely has a basis in whatever "illness" happened to him as a kid and by unchecked mental illness. There's a lot he remembers, and there's a lot he doesn't, and they're not minor things either. He has whole years of his life that he doesn't remember; if shown shit he posted from those times, he legitimately does not recall any of it.

12. Where friendships are concerned, he doesn't know how they work. I suspect he's never had friends who were doing anything but using him until what he could offer wasn't worth dealing with him anymore. He views friendships and relationships as highly transactional.

To a degree all relationships ARE transactional on some level, they're give and take, but it's a relatively equal give and take.

With Lucas, he believes because he gives friends anything they ask him for, they should do the same and doesn't see that there's a world of difference between asking someone to buy meals, get weed, get alcohol, get $AnyMaterialThing and "Get me a woman to fuck". Some of that leads back into #3 and #4 about how misogynistic he is, but a lot of it is that he simply doesn't seem to be able to see the difference between the two or how, "I bought you dinner and smoked you out, you owe me sex." is entirely inappropriate and creepy.

13. Part of the low self esteem, but he's absolutely terrified that he's bad at sex and his exes never told him and that any woman who sees his itty bitty teenie weenie will just laugh and leave.

14. He has no idea how female anatomy works or is laid out apart from "this is where titties are, and this general area is where the other stuff is". He wasn't joking around or making a slip of words when he talked about 'fucking a clitoris' in a few videos, he uses that word interchangeably with vagina and is wholly unaware that "vagina" doesn't encompass everything below the belt that isn't the ass.

You're welcome for that conversational tidbit I had to sit through with him.

15. Given #14, and his obsession with fisting--and not even knowing how to hold his hand in his 'demonstrations' on video--it's a pretty safe bet to say that The Wern is absolutely horrible in bed.

16. When he's leaving voice DMs for someone he's not mad at and doesn't want to fuck, he sounds entirely normal; he has normal speech patterns, he has normal pitch/volume, he laughs easily, he can banter (even if you reply with text, he can verbally banter), he's very conversational and warm.

I have no earthly idea how he manages to not translate that to text or DMs with people he wants to fuck, but there are glimpses when he leaves normal voice DMs that SOMEWHERE there's a viable, normal, even likable person. It's just so buried under everything else that there's next to no chance of it becoming anything more than occasional glimpses.

The thing is, that's how he views himself.

If he talked in voice DMs to women he wanted to fuck the way he talks to someone he thinks is a woman but also doesn't want to fuck, he might actually have a decent shot...until they Google his name or look at any of his videos, that is.

The most curious part is, the one time I asked him why he doesn't talk to women he wants to fuck the way he talks to me...

17. ...the answer was a combination of that he didn't know, that he didn't see much of a difference (dude...), and that he freezes up in situations where he actually likes someone in what amounts to a sexual or romantic context. Fair enough, that happens to a lot of people when they're nervous; it's still interesting to know he CAN interact with women (or, in my case, someone he perceives to be a woman) like a normal person but only if he's not interested in fucking them.

18. He D E S P E R A T E L Y wants to be seen as having above average intelligent/an intellectual, but not because he thinks it'll get him laid (remember, nobody fucks nerds or something), because he spent his childhood, entire schooling career, and adulthood being constantly told he's stupid, he's slow, he's a sped, he's a retard, etc...the only person to ever really tell him he wasn't was, of course, his mom.


Edit:

19. He's definitely not straight. Part of why he hyperfixates on women having to be A Certain Way is so he doesn't have to think about the fact that he's, at the very least, bi.

That mixed with his generalized misogyny is also why he doesn't like and/or is hostile toward women he thinks are butch or not performing being feminine correctly. Butch women, especially if they're lesbians or bi, are a threat to him not because they're potentially fucking women he'd also like to fuck, but because, to him, they remind him of men and that reminds him that he's also attracted to men, which he absolutely does not want to be.

His homophobia is almost entirely internalized. He's terrified of being seen as gay.

This was a great read. Very enlightening to those still getting an undergraduate in Wernology.

I find his memory issues to be specifically of interest. I can’t remember who mentioned it earlier that he genuinely doesn’t know how long it’s been since he became homeless but considering what you’re saying about his memory this is especially troubling. This is a situation he should absolutely be institutionalized over.
 
He's kind of boring, to be honest, it's nearly impossible to keep a conversation going with him if it's not focused on him.

Context for the people who don't know: He thinks I'm a woman in her mid-20s, just outside his fuckable range. Early on I tried to correct him, but it didn't exactly work, so I just went with it.

I guess some key points, apart from what I've already said:

1. He really is that dumb when it comes to catfish. I've warned him, with proof stopping just short of, "they're talking about it on KF", that every single catfish since late 2019 was a catfish, described how the red flags are red flags, and every time he insists I'm being too suspicious or that I haven't talked to her so how could I know?

Shockingly, every time I've been right.

Shockingly, every time he falls for the exact same thing sometimes only days after falling for one.

Catfishing The Wern is kind of on par with letting your dog "find" food under a solo cup as a party trick; the dog's going to find it every time, and Lucas is going to get catfished every time.

2. He is immensely racist and anti-semitic. His fixation on mostly Asian women is that he's sure they'd be more agreeable/submissive than black women or Latina women or literally any other kind of woman.

3. He's definitely misogynistic.

He absolutely hates it if he perceives someone he thinks is a woman being more intelligent or successful than he is. You can kind of see that in the difference in the way he reacted to being made fun of by the guys on The Geek Room vs. the women.

With men, he treats it as banter/ribbing/horseplay that's all in good fun.

With women, it's a highly personal threat.

The thing is, you can argue all you want that the two women that were on the Geek Room stream with him were being bitchy or rude or whatever, but the thing is, it wouldn't have mattered either way, because he expects women to be automatically submissive and polite toward men.

#4 elaborates.

4. Despite that, he DOES find it easier to talk to women but it's largely because most women are conditioned to be polite; the problem is he legit isn't able to recognize the social cues that would tell anyone else that someone is being polite because they're afraid of how you'll react if they tell you to fuck off. He interprets that as women "being nicer" than men. It's not possible to convince him otherwise, the closest I got was managing to explain to him around the time he put out a few videos about how he "now realizes" it's not appropriate to hit on women at work because they have no way to end the conversation or leave without risking being fired.

He didn't realize that, I spent three days in a "Where do I go to download RAM?" style conversation with him explaining it.

He does not understand that most women are polite to people like him when face to face because they're genuinely uncomfortable and aren't sure if they can get away from him safely or are afraid of how he'll react if they piss him off. He thinks that women are just "naturally" more polite.

When he encounters a woman who does anything but agree with him, she's automatically a bitch, a cunt, a whore, a slut, stupid, etc...because, in his mind, if she weren't, she'd be agreeing with everything he says.

5. He genuinely does not understand the concept of burner numbers.

6. I'm 100% sure he has severe issues with short term memory, because we've had multiple versions of the same conversation or I've brought up something he said a few days prior and he has no recollection of it, even after being shown screenshots. He also forgets what he says in videos almost as soon as he's done recording.

Not sure if that's something that's always been an issue for him or if it's because of the sheer amount of weed he smokes, but he definitely has problems with short term memory.

The most recent example is how he's convinced I coined the "it's not in the cards" phrase, even after he saw the video I put up that was just a video of him explaining that it's something his mom says to him. He honest to fuck thinks I fabricated that video.

7. Same with the Facebook screenshots that get posted here where he's admitted to being a pedo, admitted to trying to blackmail people into giving him women to rape in exchange, etc...it's all fabricated, he doesn't remember it. That also showed up a lot in a few Golden USB episodes, and when you do send him links to it on his own channels or social media that is genuine confusion and not remembering posting that. Telling people Jason Perva, Dan Campbell, or "trolls" posted it isn't some transparent defense mechanism, he legit doesn't remember doing it and can't figure out WHY he would have posted something so damning and since he gets trolled regularly enough that he can't forget it that's what he assumes happened.

8. He doesn't understand boundaries, just in general, including his own.

9. When pressed in a conversation to the point that he can't fall back on his current narrative, like, when being confronted with the reality of something being wildly different than his swiss cheese brain remembers it, he doesn't know what to do. He'll stumble, stammer, go silent, go offline, or try to change the topic.

This happens most commonly in situations where, say, he'll tell you his current narrative and you'll show him a recent video of himself saying the exact opposite; it's hard to reconcile a video he took of himself saying something with whatever his current short term memory recalls, so he short circuits.

If you watch his body language and expressions carefully enough, it's clearly not faked, there's a lot of involuntary shit he does that gives it away as some kind of issue with his brain not working correctly; it's on par with the kind of reaction you get with different varieties of dementia or certain types of mental illness if you try to correct a delusion the patient is currently having: It makes it worse and often leads to a hostile reaction or the other person shutting down entirely.

10. He is very, very bad at figuring out when someone IS harmlessly joking with him vs. trolling him. That's sort of understandable given everything above, but it means you have to speak to him very, very carefully if you don't want an impulsive block. In a relationship situation, these traits would mean anyone who was with him would be constantly walking on eggshells.

I've worked with Alzheimer's patients both inside and outside my own family for a long time, so I know how to navigate the waters of The Wern's mind pretty well while avoiding enabling him AND avoiding tripping his defense mechanisms when reality differs from his short term memory.

11. Speaking of memory though, his long term memory isn't much better. It's there in a lot of bits and pieces, which may be due to all the weed he smokes, but also likely has a basis in whatever "illness" happened to him as a kid and by unchecked mental illness. There's a lot he remembers, and there's a lot he doesn't, and they're not minor things either. He has whole years of his life that he doesn't remember; if shown shit he posted from those times, he legitimately does not recall any of it.

12. Where friendships are concerned, he doesn't know how they work. I suspect he's never had friends who were doing anything but using him until what he could offer wasn't worth dealing with him anymore. He views friendships and relationships as highly transactional.

To a degree all relationships ARE transactional on some level, they're give and take, but it's a relatively equal give and take.

With Lucas, he believes because he gives friends anything they ask him for, they should do the same and doesn't see that there's a world of difference between asking someone to buy meals, get weed, get alcohol, get $AnyMaterialThing and "Get me a woman to fuck". Some of that leads back into #3 and #4 about how misogynistic he is, but a lot of it is that he simply doesn't seem to be able to see the difference between the two or how, "I bought you dinner and smoked you out, you owe me sex." is entirely inappropriate and creepy.

13. Part of the low self esteem, but he's absolutely terrified that he's bad at sex and his exes never told him and that any woman who sees his itty bitty teenie weenie will just laugh and leave.

14. He has no idea how female anatomy works or is laid out apart from "this is where titties are, and this general area is where the other stuff is". He wasn't joking around or making a slip of words when he talked about 'fucking a clitoris' in a few videos, he uses that word interchangeably with vagina and is wholly unaware that "vagina" doesn't encompass everything below the belt that isn't the ass.

You're welcome for that conversational tidbit I had to sit through with him.

15. Given #14, and his obsession with fisting--and not even knowing how to hold his hand in his 'demonstrations' on video--it's a pretty safe bet to say that The Wern is absolutely horrible in bed.

16. When he's leaving voice DMs for someone he's not mad at and doesn't want to fuck, he sounds entirely normal; he has normal speech patterns, he has normal pitch/volume, he laughs easily, he can banter (even if you reply with text, he can verbally banter), he's very conversational and warm.

I have no earthly idea how he manages to not translate that to text or DMs with people he wants to fuck, but there are glimpses when he leaves normal voice DMs that SOMEWHERE there's a viable, normal, even likable person. It's just so buried under everything else that there's next to no chance of it becoming anything more than occasional glimpses.

The thing is, that's how he views himself.

If he talked in voice DMs to women he wanted to fuck the way he talks to someone he thinks is a woman but also doesn't want to fuck, he might actually have a decent shot...until they Google his name or look at any of his videos, that is.

The most curious part is, the one time I asked him why he doesn't talk to women he wants to fuck the way he talks to me...

17. ...the answer was a combination of that he didn't know, that he didn't see much of a difference (dude...), and that he freezes up in situations where he actually likes someone in what amounts to a sexual or romantic context. Fair enough, that happens to a lot of people when they're nervous; it's still interesting to know he CAN interact with women (or, in my case, someone he perceives to be a woman) like a normal person but only if he's not interested in fucking them.

18. He D E S P E R A T E L Y wants to be seen as having above average intelligent/an intellectual, but not because he thinks it'll get him laid (remember, nobody fucks nerds or something), because he spent his childhood, entire schooling career, and adulthood being constantly told he's stupid, he's slow, he's a sped, he's a retard, etc...the only person to ever really tell him he wasn't was, of course, his mom.


Edit:

19. He's definitely not straight. Part of why he hyperfixates on women having to be A Certain Way is so he doesn't have to think about the fact that he's, at the very least, bi.

That mixed with his generalized misogyny is also why he doesn't like and/or is hostile toward women he thinks are butch or not performing being feminine correctly. Butch women, especially if they're lesbians or bi, are a threat to him not because they're potentially fucking women he'd also like to fuck, but because, to him, they remind him of men and that reminds him that he's also attracted to men, which he absolutely does not want to be.

His homophobia is almost entirely internalized. He's terrified of being seen as gay.


Edit 2 to add an important bit about Friendship & The Wern that I'd forgotten:

20. He's very, very desperate to have friends and, while everyone changes their personality to a degree depending on who they're hanging around with, Lucas will change his ENTIRE personality in an effort to get other men or unfuckable (but not butch) women to like him.

He's incredibly easy to lead if you're subtle about it and will say/do just about anything to make you like him.

He thinks he's manipulative in the same way, but he really isn't; if you let him think he's lead you now and again he absolutely will not notice you leading him exactly where you want him to go, you just have to be subtle about it.

The reason he puts up with friends who treat him like shit is partially because he doesn't recognize it as something that isn't "horseplay" when it's other men doing it, and partially because he is a very hard time seeing if he's being manipulated unless you're blatantly obvious about it--like telling him he should consider going on medication or that he should consider maybe not trying to fuck young girls.

That's where Isik and his brother fucked up: They started wading into the, "Maybe don't try to fuck young girls, this is bullshit, creepy fake science and you know it" waters. Even then, as long as he gets an apology (and trust me, he cannot differentiate between sincere and insincere apologies) he'll usually forgive the other person and go right back into doing whatever they want as long as he gets to keep the "friendship".
This alone is beyond a PhD in Wernology.
This like PhD + Post-Doc + Tenure + Wrote the damn textbook of Wernology
 
This was a great read. Very enlightening to those still getting an undergraduate in Wernology.

I find his memory issues to be specifically of interest. I can’t remember who mentioned it earlier that he genuinely doesn’t know how long it’s been since he became homeless but considering what you’re saying about his memory this is especially troubling. This is a situation he should absolutely be institutionalized over.

I'm bad with time as well, but it's mostly an ADHD/depression feature with me. Even medicated I'll be convinced only a few minutes have passed when it's been something like an entire 8 hour shift; like I look at the clock at 9:15 and suddenly it's 5. I don't forget what happened during the day, it just all gets compressed into "This took literally 15 minutes" level perception when it was an entire 8 hours of interactions.

A lot of things "happened a few weeks ago" when it was either yesterday or a few years ago, but it's not anything major enough that it impacts my daily life and I've long since become very good at remembering to write things down or put them in a document file or something because I know I'm absolutely shit with remembering how long ago something was.

Fuck's sake, a few years I've had no idea how old I am when my birthday rolls around and have to sit there and think about the math of subtracting the current year from my birth year before I remember.

Time passes differently for ADHD brains and chronically depressed brains, even with medication sometimes, but it is a red flag that something is wrong which, of course, Lucas either doesn't realizes or won't admit.
 
What are the people on the receiving end of these call outs supposed to feel?

Why should they feel so burned that somebody paid a hobo to make a video talking shit about them?

A video that nobody is going to fucking see because nobody knows who Lucas is?

He assumes that everyone watches and is very familiar with all of his videos.
 
14. He has no idea how female anatomy works or is laid out
Wow, that was a great write-up.

I quoted this part because it is very clearly true.

The video I recently posted where he was talking about inserting telomeres ‘in your peehole’ (after saying his insertion wouldn’t be a ‘rectal exam’) makes it very clear.

Some said he sounded drunk in that video, which may well be true, but I’ve been really drunk and never once thought a woman’s urethra was where my dick would go, let alone my ‘telomeres’.

He legit has 0 understanding of female anatomy. Something that would be excusable if he were 12 or this were say 1980 where gaining that knowledge required any effort, but my god, he has access to the internet.

I am sure with almost 0 effort he could find a site very clearly explaining female anatomy to him. But, as you’ve said, since he’s a misogynist he clearly doesn’t think spending any time learning anything about ‘inferior’ women is worth his time.

Humorous for someone interested in flooding some zoomer wombs with his telomeres 🤦🏻‍♂️ 😂😂

ETA: The part where you said (paraphrasing) ‘he could maybe get laid if he could channel that inner, less creepy part...until a woman looked his name up on the internet’ made me LOL. The real hilarious thing to me about cows like Luke is not just that he has utterly destroyed his life and any chance he has with woman or jobs due to the internet, but that the solution to that problem is so simple and yet escapes him. Not that solving that problem would help with how mentally defective he is, but it’s funny we even still know his name and can trivially track him via social media 🤦🏻‍♂️😂
 
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That post was really something but it also makes me wonder if there's been any point to the dozens of times I've pointed out his hypocrisy. Maybe he really does think everything I said was all lies, despite having the posts.

If we're talking about the old lady hat, here is my favorite video of it. I forget if I've posted it recently. Bonus use of the hard R, even.
 
That post was really something but it also makes me wonder if there's been any point to the dozens of times I've pointed out his hypocrisy. Maybe he really does think everything I said was all lies, despite having the posts.

If we're talking about the old lady hat, here is my favorite video of it. I forget if I've posted it recently. Bonus use of the hard R, even.

He has talked AT me extensively about you and I can say with 100% certainty that that is exactly what he thinks.

He genuinely believes that you made up a bunch of shit in photoshop (or had photoshopped things sent to you), were given or made fabricated videos, used "fake" versions of his website, etc...I've even showed him some of his old posts that are STILL UP ON HIS FACEBOOK that were in some of those videos and he seems baffled that they're there.

As a bonus, he also thinks I've fabricated every single thing on virtualwern.com for the same reasons.

At first I thought it was some weird defense mechanism, and some small part of it may be, but the more I talked to him the more I realized that he just has an absolutely shot to fuck short and long term memory.
 
I'm still struck by how absolutely shitty he looks, even by Lucas standards.

Once again somebody buys his "services" just because they feel sorry for him.


This is a half assed and pathetic call out even in Wern standards. All this talk about "You need a bad ass insult comic" and then gets paid and in the video he looks like a submissive little bitch secretly snitching on someone and can't even make eye contact while doing it, not that the eye contact thing is new for him but it's just funny that even in a recorded video he's too submissive to even make eye contact while he's confronting a guy.
 
2. He is immensely racist and anti-semitic. His fixation on mostly Asian women is that he's sure they'd be more agreeable/submissive than black women or Latina women or literally any other kind of woman.
I'm not surprised, but how so? I’ve always suspected he is half a step away from full-blown Daily Stormer, but he’s never mentioned Jews as far as I remember.
 
Okay, his newest video is very funny, it's another one of those "Lucas stipulating reasons why he can choose who is and isn't his friend", just like the many videos he made in the past stating what sorts of women he wouldn't date, as if the world is full of women begging to date him and not fitting his criteria, and Men begging to be his friends and not living up to his standards.

But in this video, when he's posturing and cursing at the camera, looking all tough and talking about how he has no obligation to be your friend, he says "The door is...." and he's about to point to one side and say "..... that way", but then it occurs to him that he's a homeless faget who lives outside, and there is no door, just like there is no roof, because he lives in the gutter.

It's very funny, watching his attempt at a "The door is that way!"-type zinger getting foiled by the reality of his homelessness.

Also: in regards to @klickitat 's excellent detailed analysis of Lucas's identity, I want to mention something that I've noticed in the past, and I don't think I've ever heard anybody remark upon.

This is a little difficult to explain, so bear with me: there's been times when Lucas is talking and he clearly makes a mistake in his speech. He'll say something like " I'm a republican", when he means to say "I'm a Democrat", but rather than admitting the mistake, he changes his successive dialogue to fit with the mistake.

So if he says " I'm a Republican...", he'll follow it with "....that's what YOU think".

Basically what I'm suggesting is he never wants to admit to any errors in his speech, he just contorts the rest of the sentence to try to fit with and make sense of his error in speech.

Has anyone else noticed this? I thought it was kind of unique.
 
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