Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[Dumpsterfire Enthusiast]

All the talk of "the information" has mad "What's the frequency, Kenneth?" vibes to it.

For anyone who doesn't know: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dan_Rather#Notable_incidents_and_controversies

I'm just amazed he thinks its something you could even just give a step by step guide to even if you wanted to

Step 1: Don't consider getting laid as something that will magically fix all of your problems because thats far too draining for anyone to be willing to put up with
Step 2: Learn some basic social skills first before even trying and don't take rejections so insanely personally
Step 3: Have an actual personality other than throwing an eternal pity party over how pathetic you are because literally nobody is attracted to that
Step 4: ???
Step 5: Poonaner

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

The Algorithm God is trying to tell you something. Consult an oracle.

I'm not certain that Mommy Myrna's Facebook activity demonstrates a complete cut off contemporaneous with the LA adventure. I bring this up not to disagree with you, nor for the simple pleasure of being contrary, but because parental estrangement is currently one of my chief interests in Wernology.

Spoiler: When mommy takes the boob away

Myrna used to bring up Lucas on her FB with some regularity, usually around his birthday, or when she felt like explaining to her friends how hard she has fought for the rights and dignity of the mentally ill. She made posts about phone calls from him, too, which may suggest that those did not happen with regularity.

I've included some representative examples below, with Lucas's face cropped out, because he is ugly.

Spoiler: snippets

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"Incredible meals." Yes. Something to be proud of.
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In the first image above, Myrna states: "He has experienced family turning their backs on him because he is not perfect." This seems to be true of his brothers and father. It may be true of Myrna as well, but I'm not certain that the LA adventure or some event in its aftermath was the final straw.

Myrna hasn't had much to say about her "handsome" son on FB since 2019. To the extent that not mentioning someone by name on FB is an indication of alienation, this may represents a change in their relationship. Or perhaps she decided to stop discussing her son's problems in a public forum. While Myrna's new posts about "being done" with unappreciative people are obviously relevant to her relationship with Lucas, it isn't as if she was involved in his life and constantly shouting him out up until recently.

In sum, it seems that Lucas has not been receiving financial aid from his parents for quite some time, that Myrna stopped talking about her son on FB before 2020, and that contact between them has been so limited that Larry reached out to @klickitat to get ahold of Lucas. Perhaps something happened recently that took this dynamic to the next level. It's sad, isn't?

The fact that she acts like Lucas's tales of grandiosity when he phones are somehow positive is either indicative of her trying to put a brave face on his situation, or that she doesn't know her son as well as she thinks she does.

We all know Lucas is the king of grandiosity; during his periods of mania he will boast that his life is going quite well, he's doing great in college ...he's cooking great meals, and it all means less than nothing, because all of these opinions are colored by his narcissism and his mental illness.

If anything, I would be worried about a Lucas who acted like his life was going so well, because I've been around so many times when the other shoe dropped.

Myrna is either not very observant, or deliberately deluding herself.

 

[Gaear Grimsrud]

Looks like he's planning to blow his stimulus money on a hotel room and his vices again.

It’s your lucky chance as an artist to help the Wern make his next board game he will pay you $2000 but it will most likely be in popcorn over the course of a thirty year period at best if he can remember what game he is designing. And he finally admits he is no longer in school

 

[Da Dude123]

Just watched Lucas's latest videos and wow. What a low status male. Fucking shit bum. Eating yogurt with a condiment wrapper? Find a plastic spoon. Or keep a mess kit in the hobo sack. Lucas did mention the hobo sack gave up the ghost. So, he will have to find a new one from the donation bin. Using his fingers! Ick! But to Lucas that is plenty good.

He mentioned his phone was stolen, but earlier he said it was returned to him like a boomerang? He mentioned planning on getting a job. Yeah, file that under "not gonna happen". He won't work. I am not sure anyone would rent to Lucas now.

And he is still going on about his $5.00 voucher to get an ID. Wow, Lucas, that's really great! Gen Z doesn't know what their missing! Those socialists in name only.

And HOC letting him back in? How many last chances are they gonna give that cow? You know he will just chimpout and have to be thrown out again? Why don't they knock it off? Lucas is not the prodigal son. I hope he cannot get anymore financial aid now that he has dropped out of school again. But he probably will. Gotta keep giving bums like Lucas more handouts, because he is disabled.

And now Lucas is all excited about his stimulus check so he can stay at a Hotel room for a week or so and gorge himself on food and smoke weed! He will for sure be making videos with his his man boobs out, reeing about how he is plenty good and entitled. True lolcow through and through. Moooo!

 

[Stafford Beer Bong]

I hope he cannot get anymore financial aid now that he has dropped out of school again. But he probably will. Gotta keep giving bums like Lucas more handouts, because he is disabled.

Unfortunately, when he had covid he probably dropped out of school then because of it so he has a legitimate reason to get more money if he decides to continue the college saga.

 

[Da Dude123]

Unfortunately, when he had covid he probably dropped out of school then because of it so he has a legitimate reason to get more money if he decides to continue the college saga.

So, I looked at SCC's website and it sounds like they may have some sort of policy for students who get COVID-19. But it sounds like the student has to be proactive. And file something with the school. Lucas will expect someone to do it for him and hopefully they won't. But he does have people who help him sometimes because he is exceptional. Still, he will probably get another chance because he is mentally disabled and doesn't know any better. He is entitled.

 

[Gaear Grimsrud]

He mentioned his phone was stolen, but earlier he said it was returned to him like a boomerang? He mentioned planning on getting a job. Yeah, file that under "not gonna happen". He won't work. I am not sure anyone would rent to Lucas now.

I was surprised that he realized the only job he was gonna get was stocking shelves.

Shockingly realistic for Lucas.

 

[Cnaiur urs Skiotha]

Looks like we spiraled back to classic Lucas again.

He's so desperate for "the information", he thinks there are secret locations where teenage girls are hanging out with no young guys, waiting and dripping for an old fat hobo to come around and treat them to EBT dinner and fisting. I know it's useless to point out the inconsistencies in a raving schizo incel's "logic" but bro, you keep demanding "the location" while in the same video you mention two locations where you do encounter young women: school and the bar. When it comes to those women Lucas will always have a bunch of weak excuses about why he can't possibly talk to them, none of which are ever his fault. But if he can just discover this magic "location" suddenly he'll become instantly suave and get any girl he wants just by telling them his name. And not only does he think his embarrassing sex fantasy is possible, he's gonna make a Youtube video under his real name demanding that strangers make it happen for him.

This is why I love this thread, the mind-boggling stupidity and delusion is wild to contemplate. This is what sets apart a lolcow from just a pathetic creepy person. I can imagine a regular creepy hobo with these kinds of desires approaching teenagers in a parking lot and offering to buy them booze, and hey by the way if you're having a party I can bring booze and weed (and roofies) etc. As creepy and hopefully unlikely to work as that is, it's a 1,000% better plan for finding out "where the party at" than Lucas' delusional howling into the void of Youtube demanding strangers hook him up with hot 18 year olds. His tone at the beginning of the video so perfectly captures his whole attitude, the way he says "what's your location" in like a fed-up, forced-calm tone like "this is a simple fucking question that for some reason I have to keep asking, will you just tell me already, where is the free pussy party, it's a simple question!"

It's also just depressing how much Lucas repeats himself. This is the millionth time he's said something amounting to "prove you're not a bigot by hooking me up with pussy". Yeah, maybe this time it'll finally work bro.

 

[Gaear Grimsrud]

This is a new low of shit content, even for The Wern.

 

[King Daddy Telomerase]

This is a new low of shit content, even for The Wern.

Lucas said he gets $100 per week. He's obviously high and there could be some tidbits he splurts out if you're bored enough to sit through 30 minutes of Rite Aid.

 

[Trainwreck]

It could be just me, but does it look like Lucas has aged 10 years in a very short amount of time?

 

[mothman96]

Something was "off" up to his current returned to HOC. He was kicked out of Cannon for 24 hrs, went silent for 10 days, came back with the story he spent the ban at HOC and upon his return to Cannon the phony "mugged/his phone stolen by a guy with a knife". His wallet,EBT and ID also missing. More likely he left his phone and wallet behind someplace and they got taken. But from the time he came back after the 10 days he wasn't his usual/"normal" insane self until he went back to HOC. Now he's back to doing what he does best, being himself the insane Freak. So I'm wondering why was he being so "reserved" up until today.

 

[Gaear Grimsrud]

Lucas said he gets $100 per week. He's obviously high and there could be some tidbits he splurts out if you're bored enough to sit through 30 minutes of Rite Aid.

You kidding? I'm fuckin' STOKED for this magical tour of Rite Aid.

This must be how Charlie Bucket felt.

--
Edit: I'm watching it, and Lucas apparently thinks these kind of tours are the content his viewers want. How deluded can he possibly be?

 

[Mother Fucker]

That yogurt video was surprising in a sense. I've seen this man drink out of a bottle of sauce, I figured he'd just tilt his head back and dump the whole cup of yogurt in but I guess he wanted to "savor it"

Also can't stop laughing about the Axe body spray. Now he really fits the bill of that awkward smelly neckbeard who showers with Axe body spray and spergs about Dungeons and Dragons except it's his own boardgames which are somehow even more boring to hear about.

 

[Archie_Kimkicker]

That yogurt video was surprising in a sense. I've seen this man drink out of a bottle of sauce, I figured he'd just tilt his head back and dump the whole cup of yogurt in but I guess he wanted to "savor it"

Also can't stop laughing about the Axe body spray. Now he really fits the bill of that awkward smelly neckbeard who showers with Axe body spray and spergs about Dungeons and Dragons except it's his own boardgames which are somehow even more boring to hear about.

Has he sperged about his board games since he got booted from his fart palace?

 

[WonderWino]

Looks like he's planning to blow his stimulus money on a hotel room and his vices again.

and on pencil based board games about sentient plants that he thinks he will sell for $200....and take a year to make

He's a walking definition of the whole 'definition of inanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results' meme

That said he's fucked for school now. The state won't fund another term. There are very specific requirements for funding and he's blown both his last chance on that one

Unfortunately, when he had covid he probably dropped out of school then because of it so he has a legitimate reason to get more money if he decides to continue the college saga.

Not really. Covid doesn't matter in that regard. There is a very specific manner of withdrawing from a course, and even if you do that properly, there are still automatic limits to how many times you can receive financial aid for a course. Lucas already got and spent the aid before he got covid so he's out of options there. The school has covid policies that involve avoiding an F for leaving the program as a result of the program but a) you have to fill out a bunch of shit and get it signed by a doctor, which lucas did not do because he is too stupid to know about it let alone do it and b) those are related to the course itself and avoiding a failing grade, they have nothing to do with funding side of things. Lucas got that and spent it already so he's had all the funding hes entitled to

He's so desperate for "the information", he thinks there are secret locations where teenage girls are hanging out with no young guys, waiting and dripping for an old fat hobo to come around and treat them to EBT dinner and fisting. I know it's useless to point out the inconsistencies in a raving schizo incel's "logic" but bro, you keep demanding "the location" while in the same video you mention two locations where you do encounter young women: school and the bar. When it comes to those women Lucas will always have a bunch of weak excuses about why he can't possibly talk to them, none of which are ever his fault. But if he can just discover this magic "location" suddenly he'll become instantly suave and get any girl he wants just by telling them his name. And not only does he think his embarrassing sex fantasy is possible, he's gonna make a Youtube video under his real name demanding that strangers make it happen for him.

How lucas thinks it will go when he gets the info:

It could be just me, but does it look like Lucas has aged 10 years in a very short amount of time?

He is aging like a hobo version of darth zash

That said his claims of wanting to work at a convenience store 'so I won't be freaked out all the time' is an interesting revelation. Not that he would last a week in such a place. He'd get creepy with a zoomer bae or mouth off at someone for doing said creepiness and tell them to 'fuck off bigot' and get fired on the spot, if not have the men with butterfly nets called to pick him up

Also, lucas's rants about getting back into the elk kingdom and saying how rich his parents are remind me of this:

Just replace peggy with myrna, hank with king roy and bobby with lucas

EDIT:

He is now calling the HOC staff 'slutty' gee I wonder who he is referring to. Given his outburst with the nurse I somehow doubt the HOC would react positively to hearing him say things like this about their female staff:

 

[another idiot]

It could be just me, but does it look like Lucas has aged 10 years in a very short amount of time?

I was thinking the same thing. He looks like he's in his 60s

 

[Gaear Grimsrud]

I thought he was super excited today about trying to get a new place, and getting more stimulus money.

He's already moved on to 'I want to die'

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

Hes admitting to being high on "'dro" in the rite aid video, (not that we needed this admission, he becomes the archetypal Stoner whenever he's on weed, fascinated by irrelevant minutia and obsessed with snacks) does this mean that he's breaking his LRA or is it over?

Edit: right before 14 minutes, he says he's been " walking around happy with a boner" just so's you know...gross. So the acorn has grown into a... slightly more oblong acorn.

 

[Fatal Walter]

I always think it's Lucas when I come across a post like this. I don't actually think it is, though. He didn't mention bigotry when she called him creepy. Good to see someone else is using his methods, though. "I have stimulus money! I can take you out to eat!"