Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

Him on an actual date would be the funniest, for us that is, certainly not for the girl. even though I think he's been catfished enough, seeing Lucas trying to be suave, with a girl who had a hidden camera, would be pretty funny I think.
That girl would be like Clarice Starling going into the jail with all the psychos. I would be very afraid for any young women getting into that situation. He may be an out of breath fat fuck but I could see him flying into a narcissistic rage if his hopes were dashed by an IRL catfish.
 
Not gonna lie that new Wernerverse side-character looks like he'd also end up on Chris Hansen:
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On one hand if he gets fed, yeah.
On the other if we get more and more increasingly desperate "PAY ME DOORDASH TO MAKE CALLOUT VIDEO!" vid while he goes hungry, that would be hilarious.
No kidding on the newest member of The Three Stooges.

Dahmer glasses, demeanor that screams "I got my lunch money stolen on the reg in highschool"; he looks perfect to be the Curly to Lucas's Moe, and Isaac's Larry.
 
That girl would be like Clarice Starling going into the jail with all the psychos. I would be very afraid for any young women getting into that situation. He may be an out of breath fat fuck but I could see him flying into a narcissistic rage if his hopes were dashed by an IRL catfish.

Lady Z would probably already have a 20-gallon canister of pepper spray strapped to her back like one of the new female Ghostbusters before the date from hell even began.
 
I may be wrong but I think he’s pretty new to weed and alcohol. He wasn’t allowed it after his last long term release from psych hospital so when he started getting close to the end date for his abstinence-agreement, he started looking into what drinks to get and what pot to buy as a way to entice women. He previously tried to get women by promising them narcotics. There are a few videos of him making awful drinks in his fart box and trying to figure out what to order to impress women at clubs.

I think he previously stayed away from cannabis (after high school) bc it was illegal and he’s a pussy. Could be wrong but older videos don’t have any mention of drinking or pot that I’ve seen.


If I'm rembering right, he got a dui while stoned, and it was like the first pot dui where he was from
 
I may be wrong but I think he’s pretty new to weed and alcohol. He wasn’t allowed it after his last long term release from psych hospital so when he started getting close to the end date for his abstinence-agreement, he started looking into what drinks to get and what pot to buy as a way to entice women. He previously tried to get women by promising them narcotics. There are a few videos of him making awful drinks in his fart box and trying to figure out what to order to impress women at clubs.

I think he previously stayed away from cannabis (after high school) bc it was illegal and he’s a pussy. Could be wrong but older videos don’t have any mention of drinking or pot that I’ve seen.

Edit to add: he def did get an OUI/DUI at I think 19 for driving into a bonfire stoned so that might have scared him off pot for a while?
If you go back to his 2010 "reflection" he's been smoking weed since his late teens. I think during his 20's he would use it to "self medicate" instead of the anti-psychotic meds.
 
The Freak creeping at the bus plaza with Isaac and a new guy Connor. He wants $100 worth of food from Churchills for the 3 and they will provide "entertainment".

I like how isaac deliberately fucks with lucas on camera by demanding $500 instead of the $100 lucas wants. That said it shows how much of a gluttonous pig he is by saying 'i'm pretty hungry' and 'i'm in need of food right now' when he already has EBT and gets fed by the shelter

That said, I wonder if doordash delivers frozen catfish. I can just imagine the seething rage if lucas was told he was getting $100 in door dash and then it shows up and its $100 worth of frozen catfish. and when he throws it away angrily someone replies 'well if you need food so badly and you're so hungry right now why didn't you cook it?'

I wonder if lucas would have been stupid enough, back in the day, to take cash to fight other hobos for those bumfights videos. He may be a coward but if they offered enough he might have gone for it. Especially if they offered the possibility some zoomer girl would be watching and it would make her all hot and bothered for the winner

GleamingTheQ-Bert said:
How about it, isaac? want to get money for food, and whatever else you want to spend it on, and avoid having to spend time around lucas? We know you only hang around him so that you can leech off of his money. How about you get that money, and avoid having to suffer around lucas?[/quote[
If that ever happens and lucas finds out he'll be seething angry over it

WhiskerBiscuit said:
Skimmed his YouTube videos.

Same shirt every day for the past week.

How does he live like this?
Same shirt? I'd be more horrified at the fact that the same shirt likely means the same underwear as well. I can just imagine what happens when he finally takes it off and the shelter is forced to burn it:


WhiskerBiscuit said:
I may be wrong but I think he’s pretty new to weed and alcohol.
He used it whenever he could back when he was living with cyril and did weed whenever he could in high school according to his previous reflections and other statements
 
Some good comments before Lucas deletes them. I am pretty sure there is somewhere the hobos can get lunch, not to mention Lucas gets food stamps and a tugboat.
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As if Lucas would let a gym membership cut into his Clinkerdagger and weed budget.
It’s funny too because a gym membership is actually a really smart thing for homeless people to have even if they don’t plan to work out, because you can get a PF membership for $10 a month, and you can use the showers, lockers, etc. If you splurge for the $20/month one, you also get free tanning and hydro massage, plus discounts on snacks and drinks.

But of course, knowing/doing this would require logical thought, which PukeAss is not capable of.
 
It’s funny too because a gym membership is actually a really smart thing for homeless people to have even if they don’t plan to work out, because you can get a PF membership for $10 a month, and you can use the showers, lockers, etc. If you splurge for the $20/month one, you also get free tanning and hydro massage, plus discounts on snacks and drinks.

But of course, knowing/doing this would require logical thought, which PukeAss is not capable of.

I still don't think he's actually very interested in getting his own apartment. He'd rather keep all that rent money for his vices.

I wonder if those sudden flare ups here and there where he starts talking about trying to get an apartment are right after the shelters tell him to cut his bullshit.
 
It’s funny too because a gym membership is actually a really smart thing for homeless people to have even if they don’t plan to work out, because you can get a PF membership for $10 a month, and you can use the showers, lockers, etc. If you splurge for the $20/month one, you also get free tanning and hydro massage, plus discounts on snacks and drinks.

But of course, knowing/doing this would require logical thought, which PukeAss is not capable of.
Well said. Though lucas will never go anywhere near a gym willingly, let alone sign up for one. Not because of the price or lack of wanting to exercise - not that either of those aren't part of it, but for two reasons: first, gyms are full of chad flatbills that swoop all the women he wants and he knows it, he is terrified and infuriated at the idea of having to watch them all around him whenever he is there, and the other is that the women not only won't want anything to do with him there, they actively have said chads all over the place ready to step in to rescue m'lady the instant lucas so much as eyes one of them creepily, and he knows it. There are lots of reasons he wouldn't be tolerated at a gym for long as well. Though it would be hilarious to see him try and end up repeating the HOC screaming at the guard incident at a bunch of body builders over some fit 20 something zoomer bae after trying to talk to her about her fecund ova and his upcoming reign over the elk kingdom

Lucas being thrown out on his ass by a bunch of musclebound chad flatbills for creeping out a woman is one of lucas's worst nightmares. Its literally one of his delusions and fears come to life. and you better believe there would be a screeching video about it afterwards

I can only imagine what the voices on the wind would be whispering in lucas's head the entire time he was there, looking at all the healthy, fit people around him and all the young flatbills watching the women as they work out. If he was particularly manic and delusional that day he might even use such a moment as his in, stupidly marching up to a blow up boy that he sees watching some zoomer bae working out and going full on feminist wern, accusing him of misogynist behavior, to try to win the zoomer over, only to promptly turn it into a screaming rant and getting his ass beat and thrown out on the street
 
It’s funny too because a gym membership is actually a really smart thing for homeless people to have even if they don’t plan to work out, because you can get a PF membership for $10 a month, and you can use the showers, lockers, etc. If you splurge for the $20/month one, you also get free tanning and hydro massage, plus discounts on snacks and drinks.

But of course, knowing/doing this would require logical thought, which PukeAss is not capable of.
He'd also get banned from it for harassing women, screaming angry gibberish, and other crazy stuff. Even though he would definitely get more than his fair share back on free food days.
 
I still don't think he's actually very interested in getting his own apartment. He'd rather keep all that rent money for his vices.

I wonder if those sudden flare ups here and there where he starts talking about trying to get an apartment are right after the shelters tell him to cut his bullshit.

He let it slip on one of Goldaor's podcasts that he didn't want an apartment unless he had a girlfriend, and that he "becomes self-destructive" when he lives by himself (as we've seen at Pioneer and Motel 6).
 
He let it slip on one of Goldaor's podcasts that he didn't want an apartment unless he had a girlfriend, and that he "becomes self-destructive" when he lives by himself (as we've seen at Pioneer and Motel 6).

It's so bizarre for somebody to say they won't self-improve until they have a girlfriend. It's usually the other way around.
 
I’m
He let it slip on one of Goldaor's podcasts that he didn't want an apartment unless he had a girlfriend, and that he "becomes self-destructive" when he lives by himself (as we've seen at Pioneer and Motel 6).
i actually believe that. Just more proof he should be in a group home.
 
He let it slip on one of Goldaor's podcasts that he didn't want an apartment unless he had a girlfriend, and that he "becomes self-destructive" when he lives by himself (as we've seen at Pioneer and Motel 6).
He seems to always be on self-destruct mode though it’s like his default setting. I guess in an apartment he would balloon to a massive size by eating constantly which has happened in the past. Maybe this is a personal take on the mental condition but I think people who set unattainable ridiculous goals are setting themselves up for failure on purpose. Rather than having the courage to make a modicum of change by setting the most simple attainable goals like basic self care they prefer to cling to the comfort of their unattainable fantasy and magical solutions to life’s problems. I guarantee a therapist has told him this. He never stops to think that maybe if he did small things he could do bigger things.

It’s a strange situation though that desire is arguably the driver of our existence. Sometimes desire is better than the thing itself. Lucas’s whole identity is built around achieving something he can’t have. Let’s say his ideal fuck mommy existed, Lucas would not have much of an identity anymore since it’s all built around this endless pursuit. It’s weird to think about but whatever that potential was he may have had to be somebody else probably died a long time ago after he got hooked on this idea of his.

Edit: part of the horror of Lucas Werner is that he can’t change. I bet a lot of us look at parts of our life after a bad break up or flunking school etc. and think I lost two years of my life, I was in a depressive slump and lost years off of my goddamn life. In a way it’s worth it to feel this way be thankful you can evaluate and change course. Lucas’s life is an endless slow burning cycle into the madness of the abyss.
 
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Some good comments before Lucas deletes them. I am pretty sure there is somewhere the hobos can get lunch, not to mention Lucas gets food stamps and a tugboat.
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Now the Freak is saying the shelters provide only 1 meal and that is at night. If I'm remembering right HOC provides 3 meals a day. Likely goes for the other shelters.
 
Now the Freak is saying the shelters provide only 1 meal and that is at night. If I'm remembering right HOC provides 3 meals a day. Likely goes for the other shelters.
I could see some situation where they feel sorry enough for the fucker they allow him in at night but refuse to allow him in any other time, since he'd just hang out all day chimping out.
 
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