Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[mothman96]

I could see some situation where they feel sorry enough for the fucker they allow him in at night but refuse to allow him in any other time, since he'd just hang out all day chimping out.

When he was at Cannon, he could stay in the shelter during the day. HOC had (has?) the policy the homeless need to check out of the shelter early in the morning and spend the day out and check back in between 7-8 pm. HOC still provides the 3 daily meals. The homeless just had to return during serving time to get their meal. I don't remember if during winter weather the homeless are allowed to stay in the shelter during the day too. It's looked to me every shelter he's stayed in, if the homeless are allowed to be in the shelter during the day it's included him too.

 

[AnOminous]

When he was at Cannon, he could stay in the shelter during the day. HOC had (has?) the policy the homeless need to check out of the shelter early in the morning and spend the day out and check back in between 7-8 pm. HOC still provides the 3 daily meals. The homeless just had to return during serving time to get their meal. I don't remember if during winter weather the homeless are allowed to stay in the shelter during the day too. It's looked to me every shelter he's stayed in, if the homeless are allowed to be in the shelter during the day it's included him too.

But consider how Lucas behaves. He'd take the checkin for meals as an invitation just to continue to hang out all day, maybe leaving 10 minutes in between "breakfast" and "lunch" while continuing to eat everything in sight while he was there harassing anyone remotely female in sight.

 

[mothman96]

But consider how Lucas behaves. He'd take the checkin for meals as an invitation just to continue to hang out all day, maybe leaving 10 minutes in between "breakfast" and "lunch" while continuing to eat everything in sight while he was there harassing anyone remotely female in sight.

Well he does end up banned from shelters. In 2016 banned from Truth Ministries for harassing the woman hairdresser. By Jan 2017 he was on a 6 mo. ban from HOC, don't know reason why. Last year banned twice from HOC. 1st time he was yelling calling people names, 2nd time due to going psycho/verbally abusive to the nurse and other women staff. He recently returned to HOC, but it looks like something might have happened that he ended up back out in the street.
He was likely banned from the Salvation Army's The Way Out Shelter for he only lasted about 4 days there.

 

[AnOminous]

He was likely banned from the Salvation Army's The Way Out Shelter for he only lasted about 4 days there.

People complain that the Salvation Army is somehow mean to atheists, commies, homos, etc. but the mere fact they even put up with a jackass like Lucas for 4 days shows they are amazingly tolerant. I wouldn't put up with this fucker for 4 minutes.

 

[Wernology]

His stuff from today, including the one vid he only put on IG.

Shocker, he says the word he "promised some guys" he wouldn't say anymore.

 

[WonderWino]

The more I see old barney episodes the more convinced I am that he is the simpsons version of lucas. I mean this looks an awful lot like lucas on the couch in his fartbox, surrounded by cheap booze and pining for his catfish, holding the rose he was going to present to her as a token of his love for her entire generation:

 

[Twrx]

The more I see old barney episodes the more convinced I am that he is the simpsons version of lucas. I mean this looks an awful lot like lucas on the couch in his fartbox, surrounded by cheap booze and pining for his catfish, holding the rose he was going to present to her as a token of his love for her entire generation:

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I hate to disagree, but Lucas is nothing like Barney. When barney isn't sauced, he's a genius with something to actually offer the world, and like the video that's from, even drunk off his ass, he's an incredible artist. Drunk, sober drugged, and every other version of Lucas, offers exactly nothing of worth to the world. Yeah, he has his reeing, but it's gotten stale, he just keeps recycling everything, like opl and his cum.

 

[ClownBrew]

you can get a PF membership for $10 a month,

Can you just imagine him setting off the Lunk Alarm and losing his shit like an absolute gorilla?

 

[BowlOfDick]

Can you just imagine him setting off the Lunk Alarm and losing his shit like an absolute gorilla?

He’s set off a Pedo alarm.

I have no doubt that Lucas’s perception of gyms matches that of most fat losers who have never stepped foot in one... a place full of judgemental chads who will shame you for being there. On the whole, this isn’t true at all, but there’s no question that the House of Gains would be extremely intimidating for Lukey boy.

Wouldn’t it be a treat to see how PF’s ‘judgement free zone’ fares against Wern’s perversion and poor hygiene?

 

[Fatal Walter]

Just wanted to repost this. It's funnier now that his college saga is over.

 

[Gaear Grimsrud]

Lucas is such a pushover.

He kept going on about how Isaac wasn't a true friend, because he wouldn't hook him up with anybody, and then according to Lucas he tried to sabotage his relationship with the satanist girl, but he continues to hang out with him anyway.

 

[WonderWino]

Just wanted to repost this. It's funnier now that his college saga is over.
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In other words he was acting like a literal walking stereotype of everything women in college gym classes hate - a creepy, morbidly obese crazy person who literally took the class for no other reason than to stare at and behave creepily toward women. and the best part is he flat out admits it without a shred of realization of how creepy that makes him sound

The lucas at SCC gym classes wouldn't have lasted long. That had all the earmarks of an inevitable 'get this creep out of our class or we're going to sue the school for facilitating sexual harassment' incident from every woman in said class

On that note it would have been a nice bookend to the starbucks incident. and knowing lucas's level of competence he would have no idea what to do to properly sign up for a class and would see something listed as taking place in a gym and pick that one assuming its what he wanted.....and end up in a ballet class. Lucas in skintight spandex onesies is not something the world will ever be ready for. It would haunt the dreams of every wernologist from the moment the first picture of him dressed for class was posted

 

[Wernology]

Just wanted to repost this. It's funnier now that his college saga is over.
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Now, now, he said he was re-registering, not that he'd be attending.

 

[BowlOfDick]

In other words he was acting like a literal walking stereotype of everything women in college gym classes hate - a creepy, morbidly obese crazy person who literally took the class for no other reason than to stare at and behave creepily toward women. and the best part is he flat out admits it without a shred of realization of how creepy that makes him sound

The lucas at SCC gym classes wouldn't have lasted long. That had all the earmarks of an inevitable 'get this creep out of our class or we're going to sue the school for facilitating sexual harassment' incident from every woman in said class

On that note it would have been a nice bookend to the starbucks incident. and knowing lucas's level of competence he would have no idea what to do to properly sign up for a class and would see something listed as taking place in a gym and pick that one assuming its what he wanted.....and end up in a ballet class. Lucas in skintight spandex onesies is not something the world will ever be ready for. It would haunt the dreams of every wernologist from the moment the first picture of him dressed for class was posted

Are we pretending for a single minute that SCC gives a shit about the safety of its female students?

 

[Fanatical Pragmatist]

Just wanted to repost this. It's funnier now that his college saga is over.
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Dipshit couldn't finish a single semester of college.
Truly doctoral material and great intellectual genes to pass on to his kids!

Lucas is such a pushover.

He kept going on about how Isaac wasn't a true friend, because he wouldn't hook him up with anybody, and then according to Lucas he tried to sabotage his relationship with the satanist girl, but he continues to hang out with him anyway.

Yeah but TBF did Isaac do anything that normal people wouldn't stop hanging out with him over?
Lucas made Isaac into a villian/douchebag in his own head-canon - and we all know Lucas head-canon is insane and unrealistic.

The real question is why Issac continues to hang out with Lucas (its probably for free food and weed)

 

[MeganDodgedABullet]

Him on an actual date would be the funniest, for us that is, certainly not for the girl. even though I think he's been catfished enough, seeing Lucas trying to be suave, with a girl who had a hidden camera, would be pretty funny I think.

We need our version of the CWC Katherine troll date. Would be the ultimate in Wern content. We saw when goldaor finally deployed the Soph bomb how easily Fatty is manipulated by a fecund bae. To hear a lengthy date/convo subtly slicing and dicing our boy would be *chef's kiss*

 

[Josef Mengele]

We need our version of the CWC Katherine troll date. Would be the ultimate in Wern content. We saw when goldaor finally deployed the Soph bomb how easily Fatty is manipulated by a fecund bae. To hear a lengthy date/convo subtly slicing and dicing our boy would be *chef's kiss*

This did happen, it was with Shao Mane and Corrina, but there wasn't as much content as the vast amount derived from the CWC date. Lucas is most likely going to be against the idea of having a man tag along with his date, this is because Lucas is looking for a rape date.

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

Silly question here, but is it extendo92, or extendo2000? I thought it was the former, but now his Instagram is the latter. Did he change it?

I, too, want to see Lucas be forced to try and exercise, and almost think this would be worth money. ALMOST.

Lucas jogging in sweats, followed by Doc on a bicycle, in an "N-word stole my bike" -type Punch Out! vignette.

I was kind of pondering questions that I wanted to see put to Lucas, probably by Jeremiah, because I think he's without question the most successful questioner, and strikes just the right balance between calm enough to prevent Fatty from freaking out, well, at least freaking out too often, but still not being excessively nice, where the interview becomes excruciating, because you can see Lucas's ego inflating like a balloon.... My proposed question is one that long bothered me, it's kind of boring in the grand scheme of things, but I wanted Lucas to explain where he got the idea that telomerase could pass through the air and the presence of people of a certain age could increase or decrease your likelihood of cancer, for example, just by spending time in their proximity.

He doesn't say this as much anymore, but back four, 5 years ago he used to drill it..... with his unique Lucas subtlety and moderation.

Yeah, as far as I know, there aren't even any studies that Fatty can pretzel into supporting this.

But other than paying Lucas to make him jog alongside a busy road, possibly occasionally jogging into a busy road, this question is the only thing I'm really curious for him to answer, other than the Holy Grail of Wernology, which would be a detailed, semi-lucid discussion of the fabled Voices on the Wind, which I have to imagine, if it ever actually took place, could potentially be of more benefit to Lucas than us, but I doubt it will happen.....

.... Absent direct Fatty-centric content, I just want Isaac explaining his view of Lucas to us.

What is it like to spend the night in the same room as Lucas? What are his sleeping habits like? What does he smell like, right now? Does he still have his fabled piss and onion musk?

How is he generally perceived by the other homeless? How is he tolerated by the facilities? How much food does he eat, compared to the portion size offered to other homeless people? Why exactly did Isaac's brother pop him in the face? Would he be interested in doing this again? Would he be interested in getting paid to do this again? Would he be interested in making this his regular Saturday night thing?

Edit:. In regards to @Josef Mengele 's mention of the Shao / Corinna debacle, were the deets from this ever dropped? Especially video? I have to say I'm a little bit tired of some aspects of Wernology, or more specifically some aspects of lucas, as I think we all are, but I have an unending appetite for Lucas trying to be suave in texts, and seeing video of him attempting to suave in person would no doubt be comedy gold. If there was any such media from this catfish, I never saw it, I don't think.

Edit #2: Watching a Pixies documentary, I was struck by the sad fact that there's quite a resemblance between Fatty Cheddar Warn-her (heh) and a younger, balding-yet-mulleted, "Come On Pilgrim"-era Frank Black. Even some of his pronunciation reminds me of The Wern.

Im sorry Black Francis. I didn't mean it.

 

[Jeremiah the Bullfrog]

This did happen, it was with Shao Mane and Corrina, but there wasn't as much content as the vast amount derived from the CWC date. Lucas is most likely going to be against the idea of having a man tag along with his date, this is because Lucas is looking for a rape date.

And that's the problem. Another guy being present or speaking is 'cockblocking' to Lucas. And while he's too timid to stand up to another man, a woman alone may not to be able to deter him and a 100lb woman probably won't be able to fend off a 300lb guy (even one as out of shape as Lucas).

There was an older video somebody posted a few days ago where Lucas was talking about how he was hanging out with a guy and his girlfriend and tried to get the guy to leave. Part of that is probably because he thinks he has some magic combination of words that, if uttered outside earshot of another male, will make a girl fall head over heels for him. The other part is that if he's alone with a woman, then that's a date and in his mind going on a date means he's going to have sex.

Couple that with the fact that he has anger issues that don't take much to trigger and it's hard to argue that any woman who goes on a date alone with him isn't putting themselves into a very dangerous situation.

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

And that's the problem. Another guy being present or speaking is 'cockblocking' to Lucas. And while he's too timid to stand up to another man, a woman alone may not to be able to deter him and a 100lb woman probably won't be able to fend off a 300lb guy (even one as out of shape as Lucas).

There was an older video somebody posted a few days ago where Lucas was talking about how he was hanging out with a guy and his girlfriend and tried to get the guy to leave. Part of that is probably because he thinks he has some magic combination of words that, if uttered outside earshot of another male, will make a girl fall head over heels for him. The other part is that if he's alone with a woman, then that's a date and in his mind going on a date means he's going to have sex.

Couple that with the fact that he has anger issues that don't take much to trigger and it's hard to argue that any woman who goes on a date alone with him isn't putting themselves into a very dangerous situation.

Absolutely agree with your assessment of the danger he poses on any date type situation.

In those older videos, one of the first things that jumped out to me as indicating that Lucas wasn't right in the head, was his idea that he could split up a dating couple, just by telling the girl to stay with him and the guy to leave. There was a later variation of this, when he got his first fart closet, and he suggested that any girl who was brought over was having sex with him.

It's tough for me to suss out whether Lucas thinks that the girls would be automatically attracted to him, whether he thinks he could get them more attracted to him than their own boyfriends, or whether he doesn't even care about their level of attraction, so long as they're compliant and fairly docile while he grunts on top of them.

God, sad to say that we have an example, in video form, which Lucas was kind enough to make for us, of his "Wern on top" grunting and thrashing style.

That short video is proof positive that Lucas makes the best content unprompted, entirely by himself. In some sense, I think Lucas is more self-shaming than even OPL, who required some direction, and outside impetus, to make some of his more notorious embarrassing cringe videos.

Lucas, on the other hand?

Where do I even start?

He eats deodorant, thrusts with his hips, proudly shows us his wagging acorn through his sweatpants, thrashes his hair, squeezes his "butter on a cracker?" cellulite moobs, without anyone telling him to do so.

He's such a natural clown; it's the one reason he was put on this earth.

I used to think that when Lucas said he was a stand-up comedian, it was a fantasy of his, but like many things about lucas, I've since decided that he was unintentionally correct about himself.

He's absolutely a comedian, or more precisely a clown, a buffoon.

He's like Punch and Judy rolled into one. He screams, and beats himself. And the audience laughs.

Kiwi Farms' Wern thread is The Voices on the Wind.