Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[WonderWino]

I'm more inclined to suspect he ruined his pants, probably by spilling something on them or shitting in them, or something to that effect, than having them outright stolen. Nobody in their right mind would take his pants, that would require touching and smelling them. It also explains why he is wearing what he is for pants

Besides, if someone had stolen them it would be to fuck with him, so it would make more sense to leave something behind to make him wear - and I can just imagine lucas wandering around downtown spokane looking full ragman and wearing a neon green speedo instead of pants. He has no shame, he'd wear it

Getting a permaban from cannon for threatening people is quite the escalation. It doesn't surprise me, he's been pretty angry recently, and living at those shelters has to grate on him to some degree. Someone probably went off at him over his creepy ranting and set him off. But to get banned from two places like that is an achievement, even for lucas. He is fortunate we're coming up on spring and not winter, but even so at this rate he's going to pull a cannon sooner or later at all of his major haunts. At that point he'll be in some serious trouble. Suicide baiting the psych ward won't get him out of that for very long and he can only do that so many times in a given period before he gets told to fuck off as a scammer or forced into some long term care facility as a danger to himself

That said, I wonder if his disappearance from the internet has anything to do with the ban from the shelters and wearing those hospital tier pants. He may not have wanted the internet to see them and provide proof he fucked up his pants in some way, leading to questions getting asked

Also, remembering back to the fight with dan campbell where he sat down after awhile and started screaming, looking like he was going to shit himself, I wonder if the pants are connected to the ban - as in when he flipped out and got kicked out he lost control and ended up getting so angry and distressed that he shit himself, so they gave him the pants and told him to gtfo

That would be the perfect ending to his stay at the cannon shelter: threatening the staff and other hobos until they tell him off and ban him, driving him into an incel rage that ends with him sitting on his ass, cowering in a corner crying and in a puddle of his own shit, while calling them all bigots and agephobes under his breath. Truly a fitting way for him to be banned

 

[Stafford Beer Bong]

Leave it to Lucas to be a continual mark on the midway and learn absolutely no street smarts even after living as a homeless person for years now.

This is no revelation but Lucas is a hopeless case. For as much of a monster he is, he is like a child still when it comes to taking proper care of himself and learning from or adapting to his environment. He has the social awareness of a child.

We have said it many times but Lucas should be a ward of the state and put away. Maybe with intervention back in his late 20s/early 30s he could‘ve been made to be somewhat functional but his refusal of therapy or medication has sealed his fate long ago. He is creeping up into his mid 40s now. The age where most of us have grown children ready to leave for college and investments maturing for our retirements. He is still being handed money from a surrogate mommy and his entire life’s focus is getting an unobtainable teen girlfriend.

Oh well. Keep entertaining us Wern. Til the bitter end.

 

[Bassomatic]

Have you ever read something and start questioning your sanity?

Lucas had his pants stolen, his only pants.

I had to read this 3 times questioning myself thinking maybe it's the mild hang over but no this is real. Lucas Colby Werner, super dad teleomoers expert PhD insult comic and amazing author ... had his only pants stolen/lost or destroyed.

This is a man who wants to "buy the stock market" and proves bigotry everywhere. Now that this is sinking in it's real he's pantsless, I can't stop laughing IRL.

This is a plot line so absurd, Rick and Morty, Curb, 2.5 men name your sitcom with dark and or edgy humor would throw out for being insane and not relatable.

I want to go out and ramble like I normally do, about how Lucas is clearly given up on as his payee, could have done so much with his 3 stimmy checks. I'll probably ramble later about it.

Again I'm still dying laughing, legit howling like a hyena, Lucas Colby Werner, the super dad alpha chad silver back has NO PANTS.

 

[wenttobermuda]

I have had nothing really to report since I have been disconnected from the whole scene due to working in another department. All I know is Lucas got himself a 90 day HOC ban when he was posting the notebook videos (I cant see what it was for) and Isaac has a 6 month one.

Also on the grapevine, he is indefinitely banned from Cannon, as I guess he did come back after that 24hour ban, and within a short time was banned that night for threats against staff and fellow patrons.

On the best note however, I saw him two days ago walking along main street. I was on my way in that direction so I followed a bit behind. He is wearing the baby blue cloth pants they give out at the hospital emergency room when patients do not have pants or have "ruined" their pants. He is also carrying around a red Second Harvest (they supply the food banks in the region with bulk food) hand bag full of crap. No headphones or phone in sight. He went into the NUDO Ramen house and I passed and he was reading something at the hostess station. After a block I turned around and he had left the place and was heading north.

So that is all I got for everyone. My guess, he got robbed blind by Isaac and crew.

It fitting that Lucas is wandering the streets of Spokane in baby blue hospital pants. Remember, he either does not wear, or no longer owns, under wear. I wish more details were available concerning his bans from HoC and Cannon. For many people, being simultaneously banned from multiple homeless shelters, and having nothing to cover your balls but free hospital pants, would be a low point.

 

[WonderWino]

Have you ever read something and start questioning your sanity?

Lucas had his pants stolen, his only pants.

I had to read this 3 times questioning myself thinking maybe it's the mild hang over but no this is real. Lucas Colby Werner, super dad teleomoers expert PhD insult comic and amazing author ... had his only pants stolen/lost or destroyed.

This is a man who wants to "buy the stock market" and proves bigotry everywhere. Now that this is sinking in it's real he's pantsless, I can't stop laughing IRL.

This is a plot line so absurd, Rick and Morty, Curb, 2.5 men name your sitcom with dark and or edgy humor would throw out for being insane and not relatable.

I want to go out and ramble like I normally do, about how Lucas is clearly given up on as his payee, could have done so much with his 3 stimmy checks. I'll probably ramble later about it.

Again I'm still dying laughing, legit howling like a hyena, Lucas Colby Werner, the super dad alpha chad silver back has NO PANTS.

...That moment when lucas goes full homer simpson:

I propose adding 'peter pantless' to the thread tags in honor of this incident

 

[mothman96]

either that or he shit himself to ruin his pants



I feel like he doesn't actually get his phone stolen regularly and just is only in the mood to post sometimes because bipolar, it's usually every couple weeks or so that he starts and stops posting and when he does its usually rage rants so that makes more sense to me than him getting repeatedly robbed and somehow holding himself back from milking it for pity like that time he got beaten up by fat albert

I'm more inclined to suspect he ruined his pants, probably by spilling something on them or shitting in them, or something to that effect, than having them outright stolen. Nobody in their right mind would take his pants, that would require touching and smelling them. It also explains why he is wearing what he is for pants



Also, remembering back to the fight with dan campbell where he sat down after awhile and started screaming, looking like he was going to shit himself, I wonder if the pants are connected to the ban - as in when he flipped out and got kicked out he lost control and ended up getting so angry and distressed that he shit himself, so they gave him the pants and told him to gtfo

That would be the perfect ending to his stay at the cannon shelter: threatening the staff and other hobos until they tell him off and ban him, driving him into an incel rage that ends with him sitting on his ass, cowering in a corner crying and in a puddle of his own shit, while calling them all bigots and agephobes under his breath. Truly a fitting way for him to be banned

I too don't think his pants were stolen, but so filthy/stench up by piss/shit he threw the pants and likely found the hospital pants in a donation bin. I also don't think his phone is stolen regularly. The times he's actually ended up without a phone I'd say it's because in a fit of rage he ended up throwing/smashing it.

 

[Da Dude123]

For many people, being simultaneously banned from multiple homeless shelters, and having nothing to cover your balls but free hospital pants, would be a low point.
[/QUOTE]

Not for Lucas. This is not even a priority. He doesn't have a Gen Z girlfriend and that is priority #1! Where the woman at, Z? Where the party at, Z? Mooo!

Where your pants at, Lucas? Where your underwear at, Lucas? Questions? Five dollars! Bernie Sanders upon you! AOC upon you!

Lucas, even though he just has hospital pants to wear, he is still plenty good! And when the tugboat comes into port, buy prime rib, buy fancy restaurant food. He has pants, why does he need more than one pair?

 

[Krathnami]

The image of Lucas that Nobleman describes shows a person in severe mental distress. I’d feel bad for him if he weren’t so repugnant. He’s literally pants-shittingly insane, wandering the streets muttering to himself in hospital pants, while carrying all his belongings in a grocery sack. He’s running out of places to go, his mental health continues to steadily deteriorate, and his physical health is catching up to him.

I’ve been saying since fall of 2019 when Lucas went off his psych meds and began his downward spiral that it’s only a matter of time before he gets hauled up to the puzzle factory. Somehow he’s managed to hold on. But that time is going to come.

I dunno, Kiwis. Can he continue to go on like this for another year? How low does he have to go before the bottom drops out?

 

[Loosey Goosey]

I dunno, Kiwis. Can he continue to go on like this for another year?

I really hope we get at least one more summer of wernanigans before the men with butterfly nets come to put him out to pasture like the cow he is. Truly is a shame that he's at his lowest point in *checks calendar* a couple weeks? And we're not getting to witness his suffering in video form. Really makes you wonder what lolworthy stuff we miss when he's not making videos.

 

[wenttobermuda]

I dunno, Kiwis. Can he continue to go on like this for another year? How low does he have to go before the bottom drops out?

Yes.

Nobody cares.

"Rock bottom" is an abstraction, something normies tell addicts and fuck ups about. People can grow accustomed to the most awful things, and humiliation can become routine. Like having no pants of your own and no place to go. You acclimate over time. Take away 16 year old Lucas's pants, and shelter, and he'd likely be distressed. 41 year old Lucas? Not so much. I strongly suspect that upon being given a pair of hospital pants, Lucas's priority was to get something pricey to eat, and then some puss puss. Which is to say, Lucas will continue being Lucas until some external force interferes with his downward trajectory.

Nobody is likely to interfere with Lucas's downward trajectory but the cops and courts. His parents recognize their limitations. So long as Lucas isn't actively menacing people, he will be allowed to decay in front of us. The way we deal with people like Lucas is ignoring them until they make ignoring them impossible, perhaps by calling in a suicide threat or spazzing out at a bus depot. Then we put them in a place, like the laughing academy, where we can ignore them, but there are paid professionals that must pay attention to them.

A homeless man wandering around, welcome nowhere, with nowhere to go and nothing to wear but hospital pants. That's where Lucas's 41 year trip has taken him. How sad.

Like you, I have been anticipating Lucas's return to the laughing academy for some time now. And I have long maintained that the one thing keeping Lucas at liberty is the fact that nobody is paying attention. I have come to believe that neglect is a useful strategy for dealing with the hopelessly retarded.

Lucas cannot care for himself. He cannot feed and clothe himself and find a place out of the elements. He cannot function even on an animal level. Moreover, he is a danger to others, despite his incompetence. If he ever stumbles upon a opportunity to victimize someone, he will.

A rather bleak picture.

 

[Nobleman]

This also goes to the mountain of evidence that he has no concept of how to be an adult. When he got his 1400, he should have paid weekly rates at the Motel 6, at least 1-2 weeks. However, much like a child, he puts wants before necessities, and paid a couple days because gotta keep all that fun money in case the mythical and ever elusive Gen Z honey shows up and needs Clinkerdagger and weed. He could have had a place over his head for two week for less than half his stimmy, but nope. Gets robbed blind and now on the street in hospital pants.

I am starting to think he may be at Truth Ministries, but have no way to verify. However, that means he also would need two dollars a night. I still do not know what got him kicked from Salvation Army, but I can deduce he ain't there because he would have a storage to put his bag, plus a clothing bin to get some pants.

Also, his famed filthy brown jacket is missing since he was just in a t-shirt. It's getting warm in Spokane right now so the shelter system is experiencing its Hobo exodus into the surrounding woods and foothills. Most likely if he isn't at Truth Ministries, Lucas is under a bridge somewhere. Unlike his homeless brethren, Lucas doesn't put the forethought into getting camping supplies for the late Spring and Summer in the woods.

 

[WonderWino]

This also goes to the mountain of evidence that he has no concept of how to be an adult. When he got his 1400, he should have paid weekly rates at the Motel 6, at least 1-2 weeks. However, much like a child, he puts wants before necessities, and paid a couple days because gotta keep all that fun money in case the mythical and ever elusive Gen Z honey shows up and needs Clinkerdagger and weed. He could have had a place over his head for two week for less than half his stimmy, but nope. Gets robbed blind and now on the street in hospital pants.

I am starting to think he may be at Truth Ministries, but have no way to verify. However, that means he also would need two dollars a night. I still do not know what got him kicked from Salvation Army, but I can deduce he ain't there because he would have a storage to put his bag, plus a clothing bin to get some pants.

Also, his famed filthy brown jacket is missing since he was just in a t-shirt. It's getting warm in Spokane right now so the shelter system is experiencing its Hobo exodus into the surrounding woods and foothills. Most likely if he isn't at Truth Ministries, Lucas is under a bridge somewhere. Unlike his homeless brethren, Lucas doesn't put the forethought into getting camping supplies for the late Spring and Summer in the woods.

I suspect that all of this ties directly into lucas's massive sense of entitlement. He assumes that no matter how badly he fucks up and no matter what stupid things he does, somehow everything will be handled for him in the end and he'll be bailed out if he he ends up in shit creek. Largely because people always have done such things for him and he assumes since his healthcare and EBT are free and he has a payee they have to ensure hes taken care of no matter what. Its likely at least a part of why he is so willing to casually blow what little he has, especially when he gets a rare windfall like the bidenbux. Without covid having happened he wouldn't even have that, or whatever he has of it, now

Lucas still hasn't fully processed the fact that if he ever fucks up so badly that the state actually does step in to ensure he doesn't die the best case scenario for him is spending the rest of his life in the looney bin, which is the last thing he wants as it fucks up his food and teen quest. He wants to be able to treat it as an emergency shelter and use it when its convenient to him to avoid consequences for his behavior when he gets thrown out of other places

That said, at this rate he'll be lucky if he ends up permanently institutionalized eventually. For him its that or he'll die on the street or in the woods eventually. Hell he could easily end up one of those hobos that dies in some squatters abandoned crack house and rots there for a year before somebody comes along and finds him. The only other possibility is one of the shelters finally having enough of his threats during outbursts and calling the cops, and doing some jail time for threatening people. For him that would be even worse than the nuthouse. At least in there they would cater to him to a degree and keep him safe. In prison he'd have a massive target on his ass before long. Especially if he started into his inevitable ranting about how people are bigots and agephobes on guards or prisoners

.....and if that does end up being his fate, god help the cellmate lucas is assigned to live with. Can you imagine any amount of time spent locked in a cell with lucas for hours every day. Farting up the bunk all night and demanding commissary food hookups and dating advice from you. It would be poetic justice if he did end up in such a situation and end up getting a pedo for a cellmate

a year in jail for lucas for threatening people at the shelter and trying to get violent would be just what he deserves for all the suffering he has caused people in his life. it would be worth the year of content drought just to see how he is when he got out (and it goes without saying if he got out in a few months on parole he'd never be able to stick with it and would get thrown back in for the rest of his sentence) Its also amusing that he'd have to do some kind of job in prison, which would piss him off to no end, and there would never be enough food for his massive appetite i'm sure

.....and just imagine if lucas ends up in jail and starts one of those prisoner dating profiles looking for zoomer baes. You just know he'd be getting fucked with the second said profile was found

 

[Da Dude123]

This also goes to the mountain of evidence that he has no concept of how to be an adult. When he got his 1400, he should have paid weekly rates at the Motel 6, at least 1-2 weeks. However, much like a child, he puts wants before necessities, and paid a couple days because gotta keep all that fun money in case the mythical and ever elusive Gen Z honey shows up and needs Clinkerdagger and weed. He could have had a place over his head for two week for less than half his stimmy, but nope. Gets robbed blind and now on the street in hospital pants.

I am starting to think he may be at Truth Ministries, but have no way to verify. However, that means he also would need two dollars a night. I still do not know what got him kicked from Salvation Army, but I can deduce he ain't there because he would have a storage to put his bag, plus a clothing bin to get some pants.

1400 could go far in maybe getting a security deposit on an apartment or at least some clothing and some living supplies. But, oh, no. It's time to live it up at the Motel 6! The payee should have almost insisted that Lucas do that, but it probably isn't worth the effort. I can't imagine having that job and having all those exceptional individuals calling you all the time trying to get money.

Seriously, I bet very few bums even got Corona bux. But with Lucas he really is more fortunate than most hobos in that regard.

I am thinking outside his payee that Lucas is not working with a social worker or any other mental health professionals. And why should he?
Lucas is plenty good. And those social workers never helped Lucas get a Gen Z girlfriend. Where the women at? They never told him.

Those greedy Christians helping Lucas again? I bet he is seething with rage at having to pay $2 to spend the night at a Christian shelter. So many Bible verses against greed. That is a recipe for a chimpout.

 

[mothman96]

Also, his famed filthy brown jacket is missing since he was just in a t-shirt. It's getting warm in Spokane right now so the shelter system is experiencing its Hobo exodus into the surrounding woods and foothills. Most likely if he isn't at Truth Ministries, Lucas is under a bridge somewhere. Unlike his homeless brethren, Lucas doesn't put the forethought into getting camping supplies for the late Spring and Summer in the woods.

Around the time he showed back up at HOC he said he'd thrown his clothes away and "donated" his filthy brown jacket. He has been seen wearing a hoodie instead of the jacket.

ETA:
This is the video, starting at 6:05 mark.

 

[AnOminous]

My point is how would they keep tabs on where that money is being spent unless they are aware of what he gets up to through his social media.

This isn't about keeping track of how he's spending his money, but keeping him and similar people compliant with medication by conditioning the continued on a monthly psych visit. No shot, no check.

Besides, if someone had stolen them it would be to fuck with him, so it would make more sense to leave something behind to make him wear - and I can just imagine lucas wandering around downtown spokane looking full ragman and wearing a neon green speedo instead of pants. He has no shame, he'd wear it

It would be funny if someone stole all his clothes and left him just a Borat style mankini.

 

[Twrx]

Around the time he showed back up at HOC he said he'd thrown his clothes away and "donated" his filthy brown jacket. He has been seen wearing a hoodie instead of the jacket.

ETA:
This is the video, starting at 6:05 mark.

Can someone please explain that video title to me?

 

[mothman96]

@Trainwreck --when you saw the Freak last Monday did you notice if he was wearing jeans or the hospital pants.

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

Can someone please explain that video title to me?

Yeah, no such luck.

Lucas, who has long referred to himself as "ya boi", suddenly began calling himself "ya girl" (and variations on the spelling) during this time.

 

[Wernology]

Yeah, no such luck.

Lucas, who has long referred to himself as "ya boi", suddenly began calling himself "ya girl" (and variations on the spelling) during this time.

The best way to sum it up is that Lucas thinks this is how Gen Z slang works and that it'll attract a Gen Z honey.

The only reason it's funny is that he doesn't realize that it comes off more like this:

 

[Telomere Savalas]

Have you ever read something and start questioning your sanity?

Lucas had his pants stolen, his only pants.

I had to read this 3 times questioning myself thinking maybe it's the mild hang over but no this is real. Lucas Colby Werner, super dad teleomoers expert PhD insult comic and amazing author ... had his only pants stolen/lost or destroyed.

This is a man who wants to "buy the stock market" and proves bigotry everywhere. Now that this is sinking in it's real he's pantsless, I can't stop laughing IRL.

This is a plot line so absurd, Rick and Morty, Curb, 2.5 men name your sitcom with dark and or edgy humor would throw out for being insane and not relatable.

I want to go out and ramble like I normally do, about how Lucas is clearly given up on as his payee, could have done so much with his 3 stimmy checks. I'll probably ramble later about it.

Again I'm still dying laughing, legit howling like a hyena, Lucas Colby Werner, the super dad alpha chad silver back has NO PANTS.

And the guy who was flashing mad stacks like a rapper at a titty bar a week ago has no means to buy new pants till his May tugboat drops. Apparently, he has a grand total of two shirts, the bright yellow Couer D'Alene and the UNC shirt.