Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[wenttobermuda]

Lucas puts up his handwritten attraction signs, schizo puss puss snares, wherever his diabetic feet can take him. People take them down. Lucas puts more up, with extra tape, and declares in bold ink: "I keep putting them up." People will keep taking them down. And people will deface them, too. They probably already have. Sooner or later, a defaced puss puss snare will circulate amongst Wernologists. It will probably be a disappointment.

Lucas has mysteriously disengaged with social media. But he is not freed himself, and his interesting ideas, from scrutiny. So long as he puts himself out there, in any capacity (be it YouTube comments or handwritten signs) the response will be the same, when there is a response: disrespect, mockery.

You know what’s interesting? I feel like I haven’t seen anything (from Lucas himself or anybody else) about his relationship with his parents when he was with Suzanne. It strangely seems like, during what was probably the most stable period of his adult life, where he actually had a partner who loved him and who he might have married and had kids with, they were completely absent still.

Of course like I said I don’t know this for sure because I haven’t seen anything about it, but it just strikes me as odd that it seems like they still weren’t around. Maybe they felt like he finally had some independence and they could keep their distance and live their own lives, but I’m surprised they wouldn’t have wanted to be more involved with him and Suzanne, especially his dad and Becky, who still lived close by.

It also seems like, if they HAD been around during that time, Lucas would bring that up when he talks about how great they’ll treat him and his wife and kids if he ever were to get them. He does mention Suzanne sometimes so it’s not a matter of not wanting to bring her up, but he never says anything like “you should’ve seen how they treated me when I was with Suzanne!”

So idk I guess my point is that it almost seems that we have some proof that even if PukeAss DID somehow wind up with a wife and kids, his parents would be more relieved that he was mostly someone else’s problem, and still not care to have him around or help him out much.

Something I've wondered about. I bet the Werner's were fonder of Suzanne than Lucas was.

Spoiler: tldr how fat the faggot

Imagine Myrna's relief, and King Roy's incredulity, when they learned that their big baby boy had moved in with an older woman. A sugar mama? Was there anything about Lucas that hinted he'd find such an arrangement?

With Suzanne, the Werners experienced a period of stability. Finally, Lucas was someone else's problem, if not grown up. Still a dependent, but at least not theirs. Suzanne was a step up from Cyril, as far as yard minders go. Did it encourage them? Spark hope, to be snuffed?

The disastrous, soda fueled break up left a dependence vacuum in Lucas's life. He was in need of another mommy. Without one, he was more out of control than ever, facing jail and homelessness. He publicly begged his family to be taken in and cared for, all the while refusing hospitalization. By this point, Myrna and King Roy must've been exhausted with Lucas. Lucas demanded help on his terms, and nobody had in confidence in his terms. So Lucas did his own thing, on his own.

It was a tumultuous time in Lucas's life, and his parents must have felt as abandoned by Suzanne as Lucas. Lucas has dropped hints that his mother was outraged with Suzanne, and it seems she encouraged them to reconcile at some point. But Lucas is not the most reliable source.

 

[Wernology]

Speaking of TikTok, he does have one but he's only put two things on it last summer, then never uploaded it again. I know at one point people were trying to convince him it was a great way to meet GenZ but I don't...think he ever got the concept because the two things he uploaded were attempts at reuploading full videos.

https://www.tiktok.com/@lucaswerner79 that one.

 

[Vi0l3t]

I want very badly for the voices in the wind to take the form of these accents and characters. Is it too much to ask that Lucas experience his intrusive thoughts and auditory hallucinations as shtick, skits, and corny voice acting? You may recall the following auditory hallucination:

Spoiler: lil' girls want babies

View attachment 2279924View attachment 2279925

In my autistic head canon, the yelling was in his own voice, stretched up to a cartoonishly high register. The sound of a 40 year old predator mimicking a little girl (who is horny).

Lmfao your head cannon killed me

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

Men Over 35 Are Better People

Lowers your risk of cancer, depression, anger to hook up with men over 35.Conversation Our Ageconversationrage.weebly.com

youtu.be

Okay, I'm officially calling on all long-term Wernologists, or any thread visitors who happen to have a good understanding of the way Lucas's brain misfires, to help me understand this old video.

This is a video that I think we all recognize just because of the incredibly loud, lengthy, and seemingly shameless fart that Lucas rips at the beginning, but today I actually listened through the entirety of this video.

And do you know what I found out? That Lucas makes no goddamn sense in this video. And when I say that, I mean less so than usual.

I'm usually able to understand what Lucas is attempting to say, even though it makes no sense... and the metaphors have a level of solipsism that's painful and cringy.

Back when Lucas used to always compare himself to cheese, and young men to milk, or himself to alcohol, and young men to water, he created this video, where he's attempting to say something about masturbation, telomeres, farting, glasses of milk, and....

I'm utterly, utterly at a loss with this one. I can't even understand what he's attempting to say here. I do understand, of course, that he's trying to frame himself on the top of the little binary duology of older men versus younger boys, but I mean specifically, what is he trying to say with this comparison of masturbation to glasses of milk?

It literally makes no sense, not even in a Lucas way.

I would love for someone to divine what he attempted to mean here. It's funny; this actually bothers me more than it should, my wern autism is such that I'm usually able to understand where Lucas is coming from, but I'm utterly lost on this one.

Any ideas?

 

[Dumpsterfire Enthusiast]

Men Over 35 Are Better People

Lowers your risk of cancer, depression, anger to hook up with men over 35.Conversation Our Ageconversationrage.weebly.com

youtu.be

Okay, I'm officially calling on all long-term Wernologists, or any thread visitors who happen to have a good understanding of the way Lucas's brain misfires, to help me understand this old video.

This is a video that I think we all recognize just because of the incredibly loud, lengthy, and seemingly shameless fart that Lucas rips at the beginning, but today I actually listened through the entirety of this video.

And do you know what I found out? That Lucas makes no goddamn sense in this video. And when I say that, I mean less so than usual.

I'm usually able to understand what Lucas is attempting to say, even though it makes no sense... and the metaphors have a level of solipsism that's painful and cringy.

Back when Lucas used to always compare himself to cheese, and young men to milk, or himself to alcohol, and young men to water, he created this video, where he's attempting to say something about masturbation, telomeres, farting, glasses of milk, and....

I'm utterly, utterly at a loss with this one. I can't even understand what he's attempting to say here. I do understand, of course, that he's trying to frame himself on the top of the little binary duology of older men versus younger boys, but I mean specifically, what is he trying to say with this comparison of masturbation to glasses of milk?

It literally makes no sense, not even in a Lucas way.

I would love for someone to divine what he attempted to mean here. It's funny; this actually bothers me more than it should, my wern autism is such that I'm usually able to understand where Lucas is coming from, but I'm utterly lost on this one.

Any ideas?

He's one glass of milk and guys their own age are 2 glasses of milk but 1 is better apparently because i guess he's lactose intolerant and thinks that literally everyone else is and just mentions that like that's the normal reaction to drinking milk. Kind of interesting how he just assumes that happens to literally everyone

No idea what the milk is supposed to represent in his whole analogy but apparently him having less of it is a good thing. Really him giving out less milk is probably the smartest thing he could do but he clearly isnt thinking of it in the context of not posting so much shit to laugh at but some weird telomere analogy i really couldn't follow the intended message of other than him drinking too much milk makes him shart the room up so the flatbills with double the milk content must be sharting twice as hard making them the worse dating option. He seemed so close to a moment of clarity there talking about less milk being better

 

[wenttobermuda]

Men Over 35 Are Better People

Lowers your risk of cancer, depression, anger to hook up with men over 35.Conversation Our Ageconversationrage.weebly.com

youtu.be

Okay, I'm officially calling on all long-term Wernologists, or any thread visitors who happen to have a good understanding of the way Lucas's brain misfires, to help me understand this old video.

This is a video that I think we all recognize just because of the incredibly loud, lengthy, and seemingly shameless fart that Lucas rips at the beginning, but today I actually listened through the entirety of this video.

And do you know what I found out? That Lucas makes no goddamn sense in this video. And when I say that, I mean less so than usual.

I'm usually able to understand what Lucas is attempting to say, even though it makes no sense... and the metaphors have a level of solipsism that's painful and cringy.

Back when Lucas used to always compare himself to cheese, and young men to milk, or himself to alcohol, and young men to water, he created this video, where he's attempting to say something about masturbation, telomeres, farting, glasses of milk, and....

I'm utterly, utterly at a loss with this one. I can't even understand what he's attempting to say here. I do understand, of course, that he's trying to frame himself on the top of the little binary duology of older men versus younger boys, but I mean specifically, what is he trying to say with this comparison of masturbation to glasses of milk?

It literally makes no sense, not even in a Lucas way.

I would love for someone to divine what he attempted to mean here. It's funny; this actually bothers me more than it should, my wern autism is such that I'm usually able to understand where Lucas is coming from, but I'm utterly lost on this one.

Any ideas?

Let's talk about the lusty, introductory fart. Perhaps it so unsettled you that you couldn't follow Lucas's convoluted food anal-ogy. Considering that he ties his argument back to that fart, he either: a) farted deliberately, or b) saw and seized an opportunity to work his fart into the video.

Lucas likens sexual intercourse to eating and drinking. First, one must understand eating and drinking. According to Lucas, drinking two glasses of milk is worse for your health than drinking one glass of milk. Having that extra glass of milk makes you pee more, stripping your body of vital nutrients, and makes you fart more. Less is better.

Telomeres are like milk, you see.

When a young woman has sex with a socially appropriate partner close to her own age, this is like drinking two glasses of milk. Because each sex partner brings one figurative glass to the coupling. When a young woman has sex with Lucas, however, this is like drinking one glass of milk. There will be less farting and urination. So open those legs.
...
Lucas puts up his handwritten attraction signs, schizo puss puss snares, wherever his diabetic feet can take him. People take them down. Lucas puts more up, with extra tape, and declares in bold ink: "I keep putting them up." People will keep taking them down. And people will deface them, too. They probably already have. Sooner or later, a defaced puss puss snare will circulate amongst Wernologists. It will probably be a disappointment.

Lucas has mysteriously disengaged with social media. But he is not freed himself, and his interesting ideas, from scrutiny. So long as he puts himself out there, in any capacity (be it YouTube comments or handwritten signs) the response will be the same, when there is a response: disrespect, mockery.

 

[WhiskerBiscuit]

I remember from a while back one of his parents gave him a laptop as a gift which he ended up spilling a drink on then acting like the laptop sucked to start with which was his parents fault. Just really going out of his way to shit in the hand that feeds

That could have been really useful for him to hold onto a proper computer and save money on disposable phones but he just breaks it. I think they just dont see a point in gifting him anything more significant than a restraunt gift card since they know their silverback son will just smash anything they give him

It was a hand-me-down laptop and he not only broke it but complained about how it was a used laptop. So even when he was given a reasonably nice and highly useful gift, he shit on it.

It may have been around the time he went to school but I don’t think it was. I think he had to use the library for typing papers. I recall a video when he was showing tabs on a little netbook and I don’t know if that was the the same item or if his payee bought him a netbook for school.


Edit to avoid double post:

The Men over 35 video is from when Lucas kept saying that men under 35 had too much telomerase. He was misunderstanding his whole theory for his own value. Telomerase increases with age, so he now discusses telomerase attrition issues in the youth.

He has never ever openly owned up his own complete fuck up on this issue. He just had someone correct him and then went on like he’d never said a thing.

It’s as been discussed. Lucas steals everything he discusses. He verbatim spouts Wikipedia or when in conflict, he starts perseverating on new terms. When I’ve interacted with Lucas in the past (as a woman, he of course always messaged my alts that followed him on Twitter or Instagram) he would often pick up on any concepts I mentioned and immediately make them about him.

I told him his relationships with others are transactional and he immediately goes on to justify it in like 3 videos and the geek room video. He didn’t really understand that transactionalism in relationships is dysfunctional, exploitative, and the opposite of the empathic giving persona he espouses. When he sort of caught on that my alt was turned off by it, he went on and on about how transactionalism is a very normal, healthy approach and that he’s the victim of shitty friendships and family relationships.

 

[Mike R]

Guys isn't it so much better now that Lucas isn't making videos anymore? Ever since he stopped I've been able to hoard so many more zoomer baes. I think I'm personally hoarding about an eighth of the Spokane zoomer babe population at this point just since he's been gone. I would really hate it so much if he ever came back because I just know if he did start making videos again then all my zoomer bitches that I practice my misogyny on are gonna wise up and run off to him because he's so much more mature than me with those damn telomeres of his that have been aged to perfection.

On behalf of all your haters everywhere Lucas, don't make videos anymore because we're telling you not to. We're winning now and we can hoard as many fecund baes as we want because now you're not making videos telling them to stop flocking to us.

Truer words were never written. The last thing anyone wants is for Lucas to start posting on social media again. If this happened all the young fecund baes that I currently have riding in my whip would def leave me.

 

[Vi0l3t]

Men Over 35 Are Better People

Lowers your risk of cancer, depression, anger to hook up with men over 35.Conversation Our Ageconversationrage.weebly.com

youtu.be

Okay, I'm officially calling on all long-term Wernologists, or any thread visitors who happen to have a good understanding of the way Lucas's brain misfires, to help me understand this old video.

This is a video that I think we all recognize just because of the incredibly loud, lengthy, and seemingly shameless fart that Lucas rips at the beginning, but today I actually listened through the entirety of this video.

And do you know what I found out? That Lucas makes no goddamn sense in this video. And when I say that, I mean less so than usual.

I'm usually able to understand what Lucas is attempting to say, even though it makes no sense... and the metaphors have a level of solipsism that's painful and cringy.

Back when Lucas used to always compare himself to cheese, and young men to milk, or himself to alcohol, and young men to water, he created this video, where he's attempting to say something about masturbation, telomeres, farting, glasses of milk, and....

I'm utterly, utterly at a loss with this one. I can't even understand what he's attempting to say here. I do understand, of course, that he's trying to frame himself on the top of the little binary duology of older men versus younger boys, but I mean specifically, what is he trying to say with this comparison of masturbation to glasses of milk?

It literally makes no sense, not even in a Lucas way.

I would love for someone to divine what he attempted to mean here. It's funny; this actually bothers me more than it should, my wern autism is such that I'm usually able to understand where Lucas is coming from, but I'm utterly lost on this one.

Any ideas?

Luckily I graduated from Hogwarts school of Flatbills and Bigotry so I understand through the babble.
Basically young men=bad because they have to much telomeres and that somehow affects women negatively.
Old men= good because less telomeres.
Somehow he thinks telomeres can be shared between two people just by fucking.

 

[Da Dude123]

A little throwback to the last song video Lucas released. He looks filthy in this video. Probably due to living on the streets without access to proper sanitary facilities and only having one set of clothing. https://youtube.com/shorts/e88YbGHCdzw?feature=share

 

[Wernology]

Apparently he's hangin' out by an upscale high school and posting his signs there.

(And calling himself a "rich kid")

 

[Stafford Beer Bong]

Apparently he's hangin' out by an upscale high school and posting his signs there.

(And calling himself a "rich kid")

So if anything Lucas has gotten worse since leaving the internet in his never ending puss puss hunt.

These latest notes are even more disjointed, and dare I say, Bullaesque, than his online posting, and with none of the context that you at least get with his internet presentation.

If some rando stopped to read these with no idea who Lucas is, they absolutely read like the ramblings of a homeless schizophrenic. Which I guess they are.

 

[Maxxicus Callahan]

Apparently he's hangin' out by an upscale high school and posting his signs there.

(And calling himself a "rich kid")

That’s amazing finally seeing him in the wild like that working on his signs. If someone stops to read maybe he comes out from behind the lamppost and drops his hi I’m Lucas line on them. Wonder where he’s staying right now. He must stink so bad to go up to in person but I hope there is more to this.

 

[mothman96]

That’s amazing finally seeing him in the wild like that working on his signs. If someone stops to read maybe he comes out from behind the lamppost and drops his hi I’m Lucas line on them. Wonder where he’s staying right now. He must stink so bad to go up to in person but I hope there is more to this.

Via his latest court records, it looks like he is staying at the Truth Ministries shelter.

ETA:
So he does have a phone?

 

[WonderWino]

Apparently he's hangin' out by an upscale high school and posting his signs there.

(And calling himself a "rich kid")

'First of all you're on camera right now'

...Lucas apparently didn't stop to think how that comes off as more than a little creepy and stalkerish

'Second the spokane police have my back'

....The same spokane police that have cited and arrested you in the past for your insane behavior?

'My parents own guns!'

....Cause low key implying threats really gets those zoomer panties dripping wet and makes people want to hook you up

'I put these notes up and unruly citizens (nice poor spelling and grammar there lucas), the police do not like remove them...which causes me to add various bits to the story for my own protection like the part about guns'

Uh....how the fuck does low key implying a threat with guns protect you lucas? Literally all this does is make you sound like a violent, unhinged loon

'My enemies are likely tweakers and the right wing' sounds like good random.txt material

and I like how he fucked up and claims its breeding with men under 25 that causes all the supposed problems now. What happened to 35 lucas? Can't even keep his own crackpot research straight even after repeating it verbatim nonstop for years straight

'Find me in public! I won't respond online!' says the guy who immediately posts his youtube account and tells others to 'act like an adult'

and fucking lol at 'my vlog is the most popular in spokane' I very much doubt that

'My disceased grandparents' is pretty amusing as well. Makes me wonder what his massive dissertation would look like of he ever actually managed to finish it

'....that kids he feels like his life now is like the bridges of madison county'

I can't believe he actually wrote that. ffs. Really lucas? REALLY? Not stuck in the early 90s at all then I see

Thee whole set of notes looks like something a psycho shooter scribbles down in a hurry before he goes off to start his rampage

'You technically can't fall out of love with me. i'm now permanently and chemically imprinted upon your soul like a flock to a shepherd. Lucas is here'

Oh yeah, no horrifying creepy stalker vibes from THAT statement at all

and my favorite part is how lucas claims his parents are friends with the cops and bounty hunters that by his own statement 'keep him on a short leash with a quiet watchful eye wherever I travel' not realizing that even if such a thing were true it would make him look like a sped who needs cops and bounty hunters to watch him closely whenever he goes anywhere to keep him from doing something sketchy. Real smart thing to tell zoomer baes right there

 

[Cnaiur urs Skiotha]

Apparently he's hangin' out by an upscale high school and posting his signs there.

(And calling himself a "rich kid")

Hahaha what the fuck. The sign that says "I have the full support of the police. I've been doing research on zygotes" hahaha that doesn't sound like you're screamingly insane at all my dude. Also setting up outside a high school is begging for trouble, he'll be lucky if he just gets moved along by his cop buddies instead of having his ass kicked by a dad while his would-be zoomer wife laughs and films on her phone.

Edit: "Find me IRL downtown in Spokane, in public, all day, every day, usually alone" hooooly shit what a brutal self-own! Fuck me, that's so grim Lucas, that's so fucking dark bro. You think that's gonna get the ladies hot for you huh?

Double edit: What's up with this constant harping on "my parents are friends with bounty hunters, I'm cool with SPD"? Is this supposed to impress Gen Z girls or frighten kiwis and trolls? Lucas thinks all these young girls are "in ACAB" supposedly, but then again he also sees no problem with "millionaire pro-police socialist" parents. Everything else in these posters seems addressed at the Gen Z baes but we all know how Lucas will switch who he's addressing without saying so. I think at the fundamental level he's kind of just addressing a vague impersonal "you", the zoomer baes and flatbills and trolls alike, the whole world that refuses to give him what he wants

 

[WhiskerBiscuit]

Apparently he's hangin' out by an upscale high school and posting his signs there.

(And calling himself a "rich kid")

Okay he says “you technically can’t fall out of love with me” and that’s actually the most sane statement he’s ever made.

 

[Fanatical Pragmatist]

Apparently he's hangin' out by an upscale high school and posting his signs there.

(And calling himself a "rich kid")

"I've searched for 5 years"
Its been a lot longer than that, Lucas.

 

[WonderWino]

He made a fatal flaw with those signs - how will the hot zoomer baes every recognize him without having mentioned that he's the guy wearing green laces?

 

[mothman96]

Via these comments, the Freak was creeping close to Ferris HS. I checked and Ferris looks quite a distance from the downtown area.

ETA:
On further checking, Gamestop is at the intersection of S Southeast Blvd and 29th ave. Back in the May he was seen posting a sign at that same intersection.

https://kiwifarms.st/threads/lucas-werner.17234/page-1481#post-8981624

https://kiwifarms.st/threads/lucas-werner.17234/page-1481#post-8982900