Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[Jeremiah the Bullfrog]

He's back to posting comments on random old videos.

The attached comment is on this one: https://youtu.be/kV0TnZw1Nts

Date my 41 year old schizophrenic ass for a year and I’ll fly you to swim in my parent’s pool. Oh and hey, you get to meet them on the first date.... granted I haven’t spoken to them in months and they actively avoid me.... but none of this is abnormal.

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

He's back to posting comments on random old videos.

The attached comment is on this one: https://youtu.be/kV0TnZw1Nts

...And he actually directs them to his YouTube channel. I mean, it's a given, but that means Lucas STILL thinks that the videos of him on his channel, with raw prime rib hanging out of his mouth as he lies shirtless on his bed, the videos of him screaming into an empty street, these are still good methods of attracting a romantic partner.

Whew.

I dont even know.

Also, regarding @A Big Bumbling Black Man 's incredible above post, which literally made me practically spit out my lunch with a spontaneous laugh, I know it's in extremely poor form to give cows money, but if we could guarantee that Lucas would wear a propeller beanie at all times, like if we could somehow staple it or super glue it to his Friar Tuck balding pate, I would buy that sucker myself.

Heck, maybe staples wouldn't even be necessary, if we could convince Lucas that the best way to fight the menace of the Flatbills was by joining the powerful ranks of their nemeses, The Propeller Crowns. The only headgear royal enough in stature to top the not-at-all gourd-shaped head of Spokane's most popular single gentleman.

(Maybe he could also wear a small portable speaker around his neck that played circus calliope music. There. Perfect.)

Edit: You can measure the length of a man's telomeres by how low his pendulous moobs dangle. If they're at nipple height, man, that's bush league. If they're approaching the navel, you're moving in the right direction, but you'll never be in the Pros with that lack of conviction. Try mixing some Reese's peanut butter cups in with your litres of Pepsi; try eating a handful of seaweed chips in lieu of brushing your teeth before you go to bed, and maybe one day you too can come to eventually rest your furry pepperonis on your knees, showing the world that now you're playing with power!

 

[Maxxicus Callahan]

View attachment 2290999
Wern 1.0: Youtube videos of him screaming on the streets, getting kicked out of homeless shelters.
Wern 2.0: Grifting colleges, posting weak leftist instagram memes, full SJW simp cuck.
Wern 3.0: "I don't respond to anyone online", just sitting on street corners like the worlds least attractive prostitute.

The Paw Patrol backpack is a nice touch, especially since the cops are on his side #ACAB

 

[mothman96]

I'll also fly you to Arizona to swim in their pool if you date me for a year

Does the Freak think his mom and step-dad still live in Gold Canyon Arizona where they had a pool. Some years back they sold the Gold Canyon place and moved to Green Valley Arizona. In their current home they don't have their own pool.

 

[wenttobermuda]

Wernologists, how sad is too sad?

Pain is at the center of Wernology, and Lucas's life. The source of his suffering makes sympathy impossible: a frustrated desire to do butt stuff to a teen slave mommy benefactor. So any sorrow you observe is blunted by disgust, sometimes to the point of schadenfreude.

But is there a point where you could feel sorry for Lucas? A plausible scenario in which his pain might touch you? I suspect if Lucas were, for example, gang raped by wild fag dogs, I'd pity him a little. And there's something about the recent picture of him slouching on the side of the road that is exhausting and miserable.

...And he actually directs them to his YouTube channel. I mean, it's a given, but that means Lucas STILL thinks that the videos of him on his channel, with raw prime rib hanging out of his mouth as he lies shirtless on his bed, the videos of him screaming into an empty street, these are still good methods of attracting a romantic partner.

Whew.

I dont even know.

Also, regarding @A Big Bumbling Black Man 's incredible above post, which literally made me practically spit out my lunch with a spontaneous laugh, I know it's in extremely poor form to give cows money, but if we could guarantee that Lucas would wear a propeller beanie at all times, like if we could somehow staple it or super glue it to his Friar Tuck balding pate, I would buy that sucker myself.

Heck, maybe staples wouldn't even be necessary, if we could convince Lucas that the best way to fight the menace of the Flatbills was by joining the powerful ranks of their nemeses, The Propeller Crowns. The only headgear royal enough in stature to top the not-at-all gourd-shaped head of Spokane's most popular single gentleman.

(Maybe he could also wear a small portable speaker around his neck that played circus calliope music. There. Perfect.)

Edit: You can measure the length of a man's telomeres by how low his pendulous moobs dangle. If they're at nipple height, man, that's bush league. If they're approaching the navel, you're moving in the right direction, but you'll never be in the Pros with that lack of conviction. Try mixing some Reese's peanut butter cups in with your litres of Pepsi; try eating a handful of seaweed chips in lieu of brushing your teeth before you go to bed, and maybe one day you too can come to eventually rest your furry pepperonis on your knees, showing the world that now you're playing with power!

I've come to view Lucas's mating strategy as similar to a Nigerian email scam. Or any con.

A scammer knows his audience. His pitch is not designed to persuade the best and brightest. Rather, he instantly separates the credulous from the cautious by presenting something dumb. I am a Nigerian Prince and you can be rich and have a big dick if you listen up I can invest your money and give you unbelievable returns overnight instantly repels most folks, but you don't want to waste any effort on them anyway because you'll never persuade them; the same pitch seizes the attention of the sort predisposed to fall for this sort of thing. It's how con men and fools have always found each other.

When Lucas declares, to an entire generation of mate material, I will give your babies good DNA, let me put it in you, and give me a place to stay perhaps this isn't the kind of appeal designed to persuade the best and brightest. Maybe, like a scammer, Lucas is counting on reaching someone (in Spokane) vulnerable to this kind thing. Lucas doesn't know his audience, or know as much about human nature as a scammer. The alternative is, that Lucas's mating pitch is calculated to appeal to all Gen Z women. Universal pick up on 18 and under. Given Lucas's level of sophistication, that's probably where he's coming from; yet his mating call is so preposterous as to be the courtship equivalent of a Nigerian prince email, whatever his intentions.

 

[Jeremiah the Bullfrog]

Wernologists, how sad is too sad?

But is there a point where you could feel sorry for Lucas? A plausible scenario in which his pain might touch you? I suspect if Lucas were, for example, gang raped by wild fag dogs, I'd pity him a little. And there's something about the recent picture of him slouching on the side of the road that is exhausting and miserable.

He wants to shove his fist inside an underage girl. Fuck him.

 

[Da Dude123]

I just saw on the news that the Pacific Northwest is supposed to get a heat wave this weekend. Spokane could get up to 105 degrees. I wonder if the hobo shelter is air conditioned? I know lots of places in Seattle and Portland don't have AC. Spokane has typically warmer weather in the summer and colder weather in the winter than Seattle does, from what I have heard. I spent some time in the Seattle area back in the day when I was in the military and I remember that summers were typically mild compared to lots of other places in the US.

A lot of times with heat like that cities open cooling centers. Places like churches or arenas or various other larger buildings. I am thinking Lucas will be going to those and not hanging out in 100 degree weather. That is hot to be sitting on the sidewalk making attraction signs. A fat guy like him could be in trouble stuck in that kind of heat. Is AC pretty common in buildings in Spokane?

 

[Cnaiur urs Skiotha]

He's back to posting comments on random old videos.

The attached comment is on this one: https://youtu.be/kV0TnZw1Nts

"My parents are multimillionaire socialists who employ bounty hunters and cops. You're safe." First of all and secondly that answers my earlier question as regards who all this "bounty hunters and cops" stuff is for. It is for the zoomer baes, and that was by far the crazier possibility. Because that means Lucas thinks teen girls will care that his retired boomer parents in another state know cops. That will make them feel so safe. Bro first of all, you're the danger to these girls, but secondly if a young girl needs a cop she can, ya know, call the cops. Why do you think your supposed second-hand access to cops in other states is in any way useful or attractive to a Spokane zoomer bae? Also you'll fly her to Arizona to swim in your dad's pool? Pretty sure there are public swimming pools in Spokane bro, what girl is going to date a dude for a year and then fly to another state just to take a dip in a pool? Wild. All the stuff where he leans on what his (estranged) parents have is so deeply pathetic man. It's just such an admission that he himself has nothing to offer. Besides his sperm he doesn't even try to sell any aspect of himself anymore. No girl is going to date you for your parents, for their pool and elk herd and cop friends. They clearly have completely separate boomer lives that Lucas isn't a part of. And even if they were close like that, what an insane idea that a young teen girl would want such things or date a guy on the basis of his parents.

I wonder if he has convinced himself he really would be welcomed back with open arms if he brought home a barely legal girl. Like oh wow, our homeless mentally ill son we don't speak to has a girlfriend, please, our home is your home! He probably has convinced himself of this given how prone he is to wishful fantasy, and he's so clueless of course he wouldn't realize that showing up with a fucking teenager, if it could somehow happen, would freak his parents the fuck out.

 

[Josef Mengele]

I just saw on the news that the Pacific Northwest is supposed to get a heat wave this weekend. Spokane could get up to 105 degrees. I wonder if the hobo shelter is air conditioned? I know lots of places in Seattle and Portland don't have AC. Spokane has typically warmer weather in the summer and colder weather in the winter than Seattle does, from what I have heard. I spent some time in the Seattle area back in the day when I was in the military and I remember that summers were typically mild compared to lots of other places in the US.

A lot of times with heat like that cities open cooling centers. Places like churches or arenas or various other larger buildings. I am thinking Lucas will be going to those and not hanging out in 100 degree weather. That is hot to be sitting on the sidewalk making attraction signs. A fat guy like him could be in trouble stuck in that kind of heat. Is AC pretty common in buildings in Spokane?

Could you imagine the smells that would be coming from Lucas in 100+ degree heat? I feel sorry for the homeless who have to share a shelter with him, that is inhumane. I assume if any major pharma company wanted to create a chick repellent spray they would be flying to Spokane to get an extract from Bumcelus L-Wernicus.

 

[Trainwreck]

Monday 108, Tuesday 109 and Wednesday 106. Record temps for this time of year and normally we don't get over 102.

So must of us normal people are going to be planning lake, river and water park days with friends and family, Lucas will be sitting on the corner baking in the heat dreaming about teen pussy. I honestly can't imagine how broken his brain is to literally have the same thoughts over and over and over again for YEARS. Does he even realize it? I'm sure not, but god damn it's crazy.

 

[AnOminous]

But is there a point where you could feel sorry for Lucas? A plausible scenario in which his pain might touch you? I suspect if Lucas were, for example, gang raped by wild fag dogs, I'd pity him a little. And there's something about the recent picture of him slouching on the side of the road that is exhausting and miserable.

Maybe but it would have to be atrociously bad like being the star in a cartel torture/execution video. Short of that, fuck him.

 

[Dumpsterfire Enthusiast]

Wernologists, how sad is too sad?

Pain is at the center of Wernology, and Lucas's life. The source of his suffering makes sympathy impossible: a frustrated desire to do butt stuff to a teen slave mommy benefactor. So any sorrow you observe is blunted by disgust, sometimes to the point of schadenfreude.

But is there a point where you could feel sorry for Lucas? A plausible scenario in which his pain might touch you? I suspect if Lucas were, for example, gang raped by wild fag dogs, I'd pity him a little. And there's something about the recent picture of him slouching on the side of the road that is exhausting and miserable.

For me too sad to be able to really laugh at him for would be him losing his beetus leg then getting stuck with like a peg leg duct taped on or something because he's too broke to get a proper prosthetic one. Not because id feel bad for him specifically but more like the situation would just be too dark to laugh at.

Im hoping he just gets caught in a TCAP style sting later ideally

 

[AnOminous]

For me too sad to be able to really laugh at him for would be him losing his beetus leg then getting stuck with like a peg leg duct taped on or something because he's too broke to get a proper prosthetic one. Not because id feel bad for him specifically but more like the situation would just be too dark to laugh at.

He'd probably also lose it every month and be forced to crawl around like a retard.

 

[Anonymus Fluhre]

He'd probably also lose it every month and be forced to crawl around like a retard.

What do you mean by "like a retard"? he is a retard. He would just be a retard with 50lbs lost.

 

[mothman96]

Monday 108, Tuesday 109 and Wednesday 106. Record temps for this time of year and normally we don't get over 102.

So must of us normal people are going to be planning lake, river and water park days with friends and family, Lucas will be sitting on the corner baking in the heat dreaming about teen pussy. I honestly can't imagine how broken his brain is to literally have the same thoughts over and over and over again for YEARS. Does he even realize it? I'm sure not, but god damn it's crazy.

If only he didn't have a place to go during the heat of the day. If the bus plaza is air conditioned he'll likely be spending the day there or head to the mall to eyeball little girls and teens.

 

[Bassomatic]

In regards to Lucas pity. I will have mixed feelings when his folks croak (assuming he lives that long) to be fair it'll be fucking giggles when the elk kingdom isn't his but Myrna and King Roy gone Lucas last rescue system (and lord knows he needs it ) is gone.

I think Lucas is so stupid and Scummy he can't love but he will be hurt when they go. Till he finds it doesn't make him rich.

Also can't wait for updates how fatty does a heat wave.

 

[Dumpsterfire Enthusiast]

Also can't wait for updates how fatty does a heat wave.

Probably just going to be sweating buckets in his videos if he ever starts uploading them again. I kinda liked seeing him in the winter because he went the entire winter without getting a proper coat because it would have cut into his clinkerdaggers budget even though he easily could have easily afforded a comfy tent. Im surprised he even survived but holy shit his priorities. Like yeah he's homeless, broke, wearing rags, smells like shit and has an intolerable personality but all of these problems will sort themselves out once he solves problem #1

I'd love to see survivalist Wern become a thing after he eventually gets banned from every shelter.

 

[King Daddy Telomerase]

This heat wave in the west will be all of next week too, and probably into around July 4th. The worst will be around next weekend. It's going to be a big story. Rough times for Lucas.

 

[Trainwreck]

I was walking to my office this morning and that fat faggot walked right past me. Blue shirt, black shorts, sunglasses and some seriously slicked back hair. His titties were a-bouncing the way he was walking too. It was comical.

 

[Da Dude123]

I was walking to my office this morning and that fat faggot walked right past me. Blue shirt, black shorts, sunglasses and some seriously slicked back hair. His titties were a-bouncing the way he was walking too. It was comical

What color were those shoe laces, tho?