Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[Gaear Grimsrud]

Lucas is back talking about cows. Oh, Lucas, don't you see? You are the cow!

Man, it's infuriating listening to him smugly talk about the traits his nonexistent future wife must have.

There are people who work hard every single day, and still never get the thing they wanted most in life. Why does this fucking bum think he's entitled to have the girl of his dreams just offered up to him on a silver platter?

 

[Josef Mengele]

I was just thinking about how many similarities our newest post-merge character and Lucas shared, both have glow parents, both live in unsanitary conditions, both come off as creepy and have possibly committed rape, both have morbid health disorders (fungus for Bella and Beetus for Lucas), both have multiple conduct reports against them, both are conissuiers of CP, both are major disappointments, both rely on outside funding to live their lives, and finally both would complete each other's love quest. Imagine an ILJ-Lucas crossover, either her going to Spokane or him getting catfished to Lubbock. Lucas gets a schizo 20 year old boomer bae who will try to feminize him, Lucas gets a chance to be in the vicinity of a 20 year old without police/school security presence.

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

It's interesting how the "Neding some clients" video is literally his naked thought process.

He doesn't like that at the smoking pit gen z women are surrounded by Gen Z men, that's bogus because they belong together (ie, with him), and he doesn't know where to meet up with those women, well actually he does, but he just needs to get an id. Just one thought to another within his own brain coming out of his mouth. Contradicting himself from sentence to sentence..

At the beginning of the video, he transitions from complementing homeless food, calling the homeless free service hot dogs "gourmet", (mostly because this particular shelter allows the homeless to take seconds and even thirds of food... Lucas, who will throughout his life be primarily concerned with acquiring food in sufficiently binge-size portions, per his need to sedate himself with an enormous influx of calories, as usual reveals himself as a gourmand mistaking himself for a gourmet) to in the same sentence mentioning that his parents are millionaires. The problem inherent in this self contradiction doesn't seem to bother Lucas.

 

[neutral grandpa]

Im so glad this insane moron is back to posting videos. I will never stop being amazed at how stupid, crazy, pathetic and annoying he is all at the same time.

 

[DeletedSoul]

I know this is late, but one valuable bit from the Outcast Owls interview (and yes, I'm scraping the bottom of the barrel, because it's mostly bad) is that Lucas almost immediately admits wholesale that being leftist and egalitarian is literally all an act to attract women, because he thinks that what he's spewing are the secret words to unlock teen romance.

 

[mothman96]

Mar 16 he posted a video where he says his phone got stolen twice. 1st by a guy with a knife who was friends with the guy he had a fight with at the Cannon St. shelter. He got a new phone and that one got stolen and someone paid $20 so Lucas could get it back. He also said he lost his wallet, EBT card, and ID.

He was flashing his stimulus cash Apr 7. Went silent a few days after.
Now he says his phone and EBT card came up missing at some party. If he did go to a party, nope, his EBT didn't go missing there. He'd lost it back in March. I don't think his phone was stolen either.

 

[Neko GF]

Spoiler: If You're A Fan In Spokane

Archive (1080p):

Spoiler: How Homeless People Eat In Spokane

Archive (1080p):

Spoiler: Needing Some Clients

Archive (1080p):

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

Lucas has decided that in terms of his own style, he's not preppy, and he's not a dude bro.

What he really is, is a dark-waver, a "rich boy alternative kid, who hung out with the poor kids cuz they were more interesting".

It's fascinating to me that even while homeless for multiple years, he still keeps himself at arm's length from the poor, as if he's somehow better than them and not really part of their group.

This is all from the "Generation gap love elevates immune system" video.

It's incredible how backwards his thinking is.

He says he's noticed that when he brings up his interest in gynecology around young women they get turned on and they smile, as if that wouldn't be immediately repellent to any Young girl, coming out of nowhere in conversation, especially from a dirty hobo twice their age.

This is very indicative of how mentally fucked up Lucas is: he thinks that something that actually makes him seem crazy and pushes women away is an attractor.

It's the same thing with the n word; it's not just that he doesn't see that those things repel people, he actually thinks that they ATTRACT people, that's how backwards his thinking is.

I would argue, that even OPL wasn't often this out of touch in interpreting social cues. This recontextualizing repelling social horrors as attractors is something very indicative of lucas, and I honestly haven't seen it in too many other places.

Most people might not realize how much they're pushing away the opposite sex, but they don't misinterpret things that push people away as being attractors.

That's a unique level of fucked up in the head...

Also notice how his wish fulfillment effects reality; he's speaking as if he's already in the clean living sober house, which I have no doubt he won't get into, because they likely would have already contacted him if that was the case, but he speaks as if he's already living there.

The decision isn't in his own hands, but in Lucas's mind the decision has already been made and he's already living in the house. He's already studying microbiology. Hell, he practically already has a phd. You're practically already his wife, he just needs an opportunity.

The opportunity isn't important, what's important is that you belong to him, you're his "skill set" (gag). How young women could be the skill set of a man who has such tremendous romantic game that he hasn't had sex in 9 years remains a mystery unconsidered by Lucas.

He says he's thinking about what kind of women he would like, well obviously physically perfect women, who also have to be incredibly nice to him, and not mention any of his faults, but then he mentions that he's thinking about what kind of women could like him, he barely pauses before saying that all women would like him. So Lucas has limitless appeal, but only a very small subsection of a very small group of a certain age appeals to lucas. Lucas gets gourmet from you, everyone else gets dog food with nose boogers. Is that a suitably obtuse metaphor for a description of Lucas?

 

[Poop Shoot]

Ahahahaha, his new roomates are gonna fuck him up real quick.

God, if it’s 5 other dudes that means it’s probably 2 per room, in a 3 bedroom house.

 

[Gaear Grimsrud]

Post up so I went to post street is so comically perfect you couldn't make it up. Welcome back Luke.

And of course the phrase is referring to a place in Spokane, because that town is the center of the universe apparently.

 

[Da Dude123]

Mar 16 he posted a video where he says his phone got stolen twice. 1st by a guy with a knife who was friends with the guy he had a fight with at the Cannon St. shelter. He got a new phone and that one got stolen and someone paid $20 so Lucas could get it back. He also said he lost his wallet, EBT card, and ID.

He was flashing his stimulus cash Apr 7. Went silent a few days after.
Now he says his phone and EBT card came up missing at some party. If he did go to a party, nope, his EBT didn't go missing there. He'd lost it back in March. I don't think his phone was stolen either.

I am thinking Tubby got his EBT card back after this video. Now, I am also thinking that his Biden bux gotted swipped too along with his phone and EBT card from the last absence. Now, if he has burned bridges with the shelters, then he would have no address to use. You would think his payee would have a solution for that, but maybe not? The fat fuck can't even get an address to get his food stamp card sent to him. He is just so ready to be a dad! Plenty good in every way. No way the cow goes two days without eating. Hell no!

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

In the "I want a girlfriend, n-word" video, Lucas has decided that saying the n-word releases oxytocin in the bodies of "non-white girls that aren't black and white girls that aren't black", His wording. Black people need to "share the wealth of that word" with him. And the word will always turn on young women.

Because they like bad boys. So Lucas has retconned his inability to keep the n-word out of his mouth, as a science-based girl magnet.

 

[Wernology]

Lucas is so rude, it's like he doesn't realize I have an actual paying job and can't sit and archive his shit all day long for no pay!

Anyway he has some goddamned long videos (one is 25 minutes ffs) so I may do a batch earlier this evening and catch any other stuff later.

Bonus: The 12 second video where the title indicates he played solo mode of a game wrong. Could you imagine trying to play a game WITH him?

Edit: IT. IS. OVER. AN. HOUR. LONG.

If tubby put this much effort into getting his shit together he might actually do it, but I guess it's easier to just ramble at his phone about incorrect science and not get paid to do it.

For real, this is everything from this morning to about 20 minutes ago. That file size is after dropping the bit rate down significantly, sadly, changing the resolution doesn't clip it any further but oh well, it's not that big it just takes ages on my slow ass uplink.

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

Random.txt:

"You really should consider having sex with my electrical semen"

(Quote from the "Well sorry I need sex" video. Don't skip these videos he made last night in the dark, there's nothing to look at, but they are packed with nuggets of gold!)

 

[King Daddy Telomerase]

I'm homeless and not eating... seamlessly transitions into 21 year olds are all sluts that need to fuck Lucas, Part XXXVII.

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

I'm homeless and not eating... seamlessly transitions into 21 year olds are all sluts that need to fuck Lucas, Part XXXVII.

I love how he says he's been sleeping outside because it's so warm, as if it's just a little summer camp vacation, you know, not because he's been banned from every homeless shelter in Spokane or anything...

Also, since he has nowhere to sleep and doesn't have to meet a 6:00 p.m. curfew to get a bed, he's going to be wandering the streets all night every night, so he decided he might try to hit on some of the women outside some of the bars which are the "Age Gap love" scene he's been so desperately trying to locate for the past five years and has finally found, but I have no doubt, as @wenttobermuda said, that Lucas will find some "out" to prevent him from approaching the women who give him so much anxiety, and occupy all of his thoughts.

It also tells you something about Lucas's appetite, that about an hour after eating a lunch that big, a sloppy joe, chips, a crudité plate with hummus, a large slice of cake, chocolate milk, iced coffee, and some other dessert that look like pudding or possibly soup, he's already thinking about how hungry he is. Yeah, going two days without food my ass.

 

[mothman96]

I am thinking Tubby got his EBT card back after this video. Now, I am also thinking that his Biden bux gotted swipped two along with his phone and EBT card from the last absence. Now, if he has burned bridges with the shelters, then he would have no address to use. You would think his payee would have a solution for that, but maybe not? The fat fuck can't even get an address to get his food stamp card sent to him. He is just so ready to be a dad! Plenty good in every way. No way the cow goes two days without eating. Hell no!

If he was able to replace his EBT card within 1 month to have it by the time he got his Biden bux, why hasn't he replaced it since it "supposedly" went missing at the party. It's been 3 months and still no EBT card. Nope, since it came up missing in March, he hasn't bothered to do whatever is necessary to get a new card. As to his phone, I don't think it was stolen. He has always replaced his "missing" phone and this time again 3 mo. I'm leaning that he went silent due to his court case. Since he has only 1 court date left and seeing comment(s) like this, he figured what the hell and started up his videos again. Also I don't believe his Biden bux got stolen.

 

[Twrx]

Did you hear this shit? Lucas saying that a lot of the time he comes off as "stoical"?

That's the funniest shit I ever heard. Lucas is the biggest manbaby whiny bitch there is. There's not a stoic bone in his body.

Really fucking stoic there Lucas

I Can't Find My Girl

#Instagram: @lucaswerner79

youtu.be

 

[wenttobermuda]

It seems that Lucas is attempting to move into a "sober living environment," or "SLE." For some folks early in recovery, an SLE can provide helpful structure and support. It's essentially a half-way house for junkies, a commune for addicts. This isn't a terrible move for Lucas (which suggests it's not his idea) but it will not end well.

SLE's tend to be extremely inexpensive, and not particularly choosy about their residents. This will work to Lucas's advantage. Their standards are low.

SLE's are also extremely restrictive environments. Most require their residents to "work a program" and be actively involved in recovery. House rules tend to be strict, and deviation them often results in immediate eviction, because SLE residents are not tenants covered by the legal protections of tenancy. Lucas does not see himself as a drug addict, and has a difficult time conforming his behavior to rules. He will have a hard time understanding why he has to, for example, follow a curfew, attend AA meetings, or flush the toilet.

SLE's typically stuff several addicts, who are early in recovery and out of options, under one roof, at least two to a room. Conflicts are inevitable. Lucas, if he is accepted at the SLE, is going to have many roommates to alienate and horrify.

I can only hope that Lucas is admitted to the SLE, and of his future roomies is active on IG.

 

[Gaear Grimsrud]

I'm homeless and not eating... seamlessly transitions into 21 year olds are all sluts that need to fuck Lucas, Part XXXVII.

God, he's just constantly making stupid assumptions.

He assumes that all young men constantly call their girlfriends bitches to their faces.

He assumes theirs a big "age gap scene" in Spokane.

People date who they want to, Lucas. There isn't some big club around you for older men and younger women to get together. Not everybody you see on the street is in cahoots with each other.