Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[King Daddy Telomerase]

$1400!!! He's rich all by himself

With subsidized housing, that can be 6 months of rent, even a year+ in some areas. Which Lucas could easily have right now if he wasn't a fool.

 

[Maxxicus Callahan]

$1400!!! He's rich all by himself

If that’s true then he’s richer than me at this moment. But Lucas doesn’t have to pay rent, bills or groceries and he can’t afford to own an Xbox or Warhammer miniatures and drink fancy drinks with mates so stinkerdagger and Motel 6 is the best thing he’s got to spend his money on which he can’t even afford right now so where is all that money he has got saved? Edit: and why has it never occurred to him to hire a prostitute?

I’m guessing it’s with his payee if he really has any money to his name. We all know it’s Monopoly money to the Wern anyway and that it wouldn’t last a day without his wrangler.

 

[Da Dude123]

If that’s true then he’s richer than me at this moment. But Lucas doesn’t have to pay rent, bills or groceries and he can’t afford to own an Xbox or Warhammer miniatures and drink fancy drinks with mates so clinkerstinker and Motel 6 is the best thing he’s got to spend his money on which he can’t even afford right now so where is all that money he has got saved? Edit: and why has it never occurred to him to hire a prostitute?

I’m guessing with his payee if he really has any money to his name. We all know it’s Monopoly money to the Wern anyway and that it wouldn’t last a day without his wrangler.

His payee has it and won't allow Lucas to use it on anything other than housing. Tubby would never ever save that money on his own. He would flash it around like a rapper and blow it on 5 star dinners or another vagrant would steal it from him.

 

[Draxx them Sklounst]

If that’s true then he’s richer than me at this moment. But Lucas doesn’t have to pay rent, bills or groceries and he can’t afford to own an Xbox or Warhammer miniatures and drink fancy drinks with mates so clinkerstinker and Motel 6 is the best thing he’s got to spend his money on which he can’t even afford right now so where is all that money he has got saved? Edit: and why has it never occurred to him to hire a prostitute?

I’m guessing it’s with his payee if he really has any money to his name. We all know it’s Monopoly money to the Wern anyway and that it wouldn’t last a day without his wrangler.

oh for sure, I just think it's funny he brags about having that much saved up but for the reasons you mentioned he doesn't comprehend that it's not really that impressive.

 

[King Roy]

The other day I was in an upscale shopping/dining district near me when I walked past, I shit you not, Lucas on meth. (For background this area is full of ultra-high end stores, street parked a few spots down from this guy was a fucking classic Lamborghini Countach)
A 6’+ white hobo with an uncanny resemblance, their faces could have been related. Receding ponytail, crazy Myrna eyes, beak nose, minion (or some cartoon shit) pajama pants, equally filthy, looked a little older, though it’s hard to tell with speed addicts. Only big difference being this guy was obviously tweaked out and skinny as a rail with no shirt. He was standing on a street corner yelling at cars(!) accusing them of being “greedy polluters” and “racists” and only shut up when young women walked by (very frequently)
Gave me quite the insight into what Mucus is like IRL, and why he’s always looking around in his videos to “check if the coast’s clear” or whatever.
Anyway dude’s screaming like a raving lunatic, then cuts off mid-sentence so he can leer at the 20 y/o girls popping out of some boutique. As soon as they’re out of sight “GREEDY WHITE PEOPLE RUINING THE ENVIRONMENT DONT YOU HAVE BETTER USES FOR MILLIO-“ silence again, since zoomers are approaching from down the block. When I came back that way he was still at it, just across the street.
It was surreal, and really makes me wonder how many creeps like Mucus are out there. I mean we only have Wernology because he’s stupid enough/able to document it online.

I legitimately asked myself whether Myrna could’ve had another kid out of wedlock! While I wouldn’t put it past her, there must some kind of heritable defect that causes lunatic eyes, immaturity, and extreme creepiness. Dunno how else to explain it.

 

[Wernology]

@klickitat what exactly was the reason or way (i know you said Facebook) but how did step dad of the Wern find you and what did he want when he thought you were Lucas? Did someone tell him about LA trip or do they keep an eye out for the rapist?

He messaged me on Facebook. As far as I could tell he found my Facebook because someone posted a comment to one of his public posts linking him to one of the video compilations of Lucas.

He also thought I WAS Lucas.

They're buried somewhere in this thread, but I also have them up on my IG: https://www.instagram.com/p/CJOzn6wM9wY/

Probably the only nice thing I've ever done or will ever do for Lucas was clue them in to the state he was in at the time and, of course, when they wouldn't buy him more than 2 days at motel 6, wouldn't send him money, and wouldn't let him go live with them, he got pissed off and said they were 'greedy' so I'm pretty sure he burned that bridge plenty good.

 

[Telomere Savalas]

Oh, I doubt he realizes or even thinks he's anywhere near rock bottom.

Why?

Because some idiot always bails him out.

If it's not him gaming the system and soaking up taxpayer money to pay for his Funny Farm Hotel stays, it's some dumbfuck on the internet who either:

A) Thinks it's funny to give him money. It's very RARELY amusing when it kicks his ego off and makes him think he can make a career of it only to see him beg people to pay him for content before giving up. Granted, it is nice to see his ego puff up then almost immediately deflate, but it's not that entertaining.

B) They don't know who he is and genuinely feel bad for him, believe his "I have no money and no place to stay" schtick out of hand without looking into WHY that is.

I won't lump his stepdad into that mess (his stepdad being the guy who messaged me on Facebook after the LA Catfish saga thinking I was somehow Lucas; I gave him the rundown of wtf was up with Lucas and gave him Lucas' number, which he had posted publicly on Instagram. They bought him a few days in Motel 6 but basically when they told him they weren't going to fund his entire life and he couldn't come live with them he got pissed off, accused them of 'being greedy' and cut contact) because in a generally normal family dynamic one doesn't often want to see one's stepkid (or kid) struggling like that but, Lucas has done an amazing job at alienating his family so badly that usually the best he gets now is a $25 P.F. Chang's gift card on his birthday and no other contact.

A & B always come back to some idiot bailing him out.

Lucas has never had to face any real consequences for the shit he does because some goddamned fuckwit will always spot him money to get out of whatever 'crisis' he's having if he looks and sounds scared enough when he puts those begging videos up.

Bonus: Remember sometime last summer when Lucas tried to convince everyone he preferred being homeless to living in his little fartbox? Because outside he got to interact with people and it "felt like suicide" being alone in the apartment that he could never lure a zoomer bae to play board games in.

Right, in one of his interviews with Goldaor (speaking of idiots who bail him out), Lucas let it slip that he didn't want an apartment unless he had a girlfriend, and that becomes self-destructive when he's by himself.

 

[Wernology]

Right, in one of his interviews with Goldaor (speaking of idiots who bail him out), Lucas let it slip that he didn't want an apartment unless he had a girlfriend, and that becomes self-destructive when he's by himself.

I'm sure he thought that was a foolproof plan: "No empathetic zoomer bae would WANT me to be homeless! Surely this will draw her out of the woodwork to take care of me!"

 

[Maxxicus Callahan]

He messaged me on Facebook. As far as I could tell he found my Facebook because someone posted a comment to one of his public posts linking him to one of the video compilations of Lucas.

He also thought I WAS Lucas.

They're buried somewhere in this thread, but I also have them up on my IG: https://www.instagram.com/p/CJOzn6wM9wY/

Probably the only nice thing I've ever done or will ever do for Lucas was clue them in to the state he was in at the time and, of course, when they wouldn't buy him more than 2 days at motel 6, wouldn't send him money, and wouldn't let him go live with them, he got pissed off and said they were 'greedy' so I'm pretty sure he burned that bridge plenty good.

It’s been said before but it really is something the fact Lucas and his parents don’t have each other’s phone numbers and you had to be the one to fill them in. I think you did the right thing though, I mean it’s his own fault he went with no plan for getting back but he is retarded and he would have been eaten alive on skid row. It makes sense his dad was concerned when he got wind of what had happened.

@klickitat I can’t find the video when he is walking around LA. Any idea where it might be?
I remember seeing it after a brief drought where he’s just walking around in warm sunny LA saying oh I think I might like it here it reminds me of Mexico and he is talking about moving and getting a job there. I’m going to check Instagram it was pretty surreal at the time watching this and having no idea what he was doing there or how he got there.

I like this video when Lucas talks about pressing charges for being catfished the last time when his acorn picture got released.

 

[mothman96]

It’s been said before but it really is something the fact Lucas and his parents don’t have each other’s phone numbers and you had to be the one to fill them in. I think you did the right thing though, I mean it’s his own fault he went with no plan for getting back but he is retarded and he would have been eaten alive on skid row. It makes sense his dad was concerned when he got wind of what had happened.

I'm sure Lucas had his mother's and stepdad phone no. It was Lucas that did not want to have any contact with them after his mother told him a girlfriend is "Not in the cards". Lucas blocked them on his social media and when he changed his phone no. he did not give his mom the new one. I would have let the creep reap what he sowed.

 

[Maxxicus Callahan]

I'm sure Lucas had his mother's and stepdad phone no. It was Lucas that did not want to have any contact with them after his mother told him a girlfriend is "Not in the cards". Lucas blocked them on his social media and when he changed his phone no. he did not give his mom the new one. I would have let the creep reap what he sowed.

Reading this and seeing these photos gives me somewhat of an idea of what Lucas’s predicament might have been like had things turned out differently. That being said with his back against the wall and no charity like the support systems he has in Spokane he’d have been pretty fucked.

https://www.lamag.com/citythinkblog/skid-row-residents/

Imagine if the penny dropped and he quickly had to find a way to make friends with other homeless people to survive and then Lucas scrambling to find some ways to be resourceful. Part of me would like to see how Lucas would have managed we probably would have just heard about him winding up dead on the sidewalk if we are being real. I don’t think he has any capability of adapting his behaviour.

Spoiler: Imagine Lucey having to do any of this

 

[mothman96]

Imagine if the penny dropped and he quickly had to find a way to make friends with other homeless people to survive and then Lucas scrambling to find some ways to be resourceful. Part of me would like to see how Lucas would have managed we probably would have just heard about him winding up dead on the sidewalk if we are being real. I don’t think he has any capability of adapting his behaviour.

I'd say the Freak would have survived long enough for his check to come in and his payee send him money to get back to Spokane.

 

[Dumpsterfire Enthusiast]

I have to say the LA catfish situation was the one event, that if he was not bailed out, would have been the ice cold bucket of water in his face he needs to have some kind of revelation. Not that I wish anything bad on him, but being stuck in a strange, rough city with no support system and no way out may have been exactly what he needed.

Imagine that moment where the reality dawned on him how truly fucked he just made himself, stuck in the skids of LA with no support and no way out? Putting himself in that situation, with life or death consequences, would have been a true eye opener for our Wern. That life’s decisions have real consequences and that the only person really responsible for you is YOU.

Him being bailed out with a train ticket back to Spokane and back into his known, navigable habitat was a huge missed opportunity for a real breakthrough. One he desperately needs.

(One thing I’ve learned from reading Lucas’ thread is if I am going to be homeless, Spokane is one good place to do it.)

I doubt anything would be able to get him to have the whole "maybe im the asshole" epiphany. If he were stuck in LA for longer he might have learned a bit more self control with what he says out loud and stuck to his rage scribbling style of videos while he was out there purely out of fear of immediate consequences but theres no way he would ever actually realize he was causing his own problems and want to do anything about it.

His breakup with Suzanne ages ago for throwing a glass and "storming home like a bitch" as he put it himself or being made homeless as a result of his bouncing the staircase pic should have been enough to get him to see that the reason noone wants to fuck him is because he acts like an edgy middle schooler in his 40s and that he has more immediate concerns than a fuck quest but he keeps doubling down on it every time something bad happens to him.

 

[Wernology]

It’s been said before but it really is something the fact Lucas and his parents don’t have each other’s phone numbers and you had to be the one to fill them in. I think you did the right thing though, I mean it’s his own fault he went with no plan for getting back but he is retarded and he would have been eaten alive on skid row. It makes sense his dad was concerned when he got wind of what had happened.

@klickitat I can’t find the video when he is walking around LA. Any idea where it might be?
I remember seeing it after a brief drought where he’s just walking around in warm sunny LA saying oh I think I might like it here it reminds me of Mexico and he is talking about moving and getting a job there. I’m going to check Instagram it was pretty surreal at the time watching this and having no idea what he was doing there or how he got there.

I like this video when Lucas talks about pressing charges for being catfished the last time when his acorn picture got released.

Lucas wandering around LA:

 

[Trainwreck]

"Some of the most beautiful women I've ever seen." On Skid fucking Row.

 

[Da Dude123]

It’s been said before but it really is something the fact Lucas and his parents don’t have each other’s phone numbers and you had to be the one to fill them in. I think you did the right thing though, I mean it’s his own fault he went with no plan for getting back but he is retarded and he would have been eaten alive on skid row. It makes sense his dad was concerned when he got wind of what had happened.

@klickitat I can’t find the video when he is walking around LA. Any idea where it might be?
I remember seeing it after a brief drought where he’s just walking around in warm sunny LA saying oh I think I might like it here it reminds me of Mexico and he is talking about moving and getting a job there. I’m going to check Instagram it was pretty surreal at the time watching this and having no idea what he was doing there or how he got there.

I like this video when Lucas talks about pressing charges for being catfished the last time when his acorn picture got released.

"I can get penis enhancing pills if it is really that important to you, sugar tits."

 

[Huge Fungus]

"Some of the most beautiful women I've ever seen." On Skid fucking Row.

It's probably true that these are the most beautiful women Pukeass has ever seen; he's used to ladies with the Spokane phenotype (gross face, no ass, huge pudgy tits). The low gene-pool quality here makes the exclusiveness of his Love Quest to our city all the more ironic...

Spokane makes list of least attractive locals

On the list of the top nine least attractive cities, Spokane came in at number three.

www.google.com

 

[wenttobermuda]

It's probably true that these are the most beautiful women Pukeass has ever seen; he's used to ladies with the Spokane phenotype (gross face, no ass, huge pudgy tits). The low gene-pool quality here makes the exclusiveness of his Love Quest to our city all the more ironic...

Spokane makes list of least attractive locals

On the list of the top nine least attractive cities, Spokane came in at number three.

www.google.com

Spokane Phenotype? Fascinating. Seems to be a variety of Okie.

At this point, Spokane is a major part of Lucas's legend. A character itself in his story, not merely the setting.

It's interesting to hear how the fat faggot fits into the local faggotry ecosystem. A proper understanding of Lucas's Spokane could help put his madness in context. It'd be a useful addition to Wernology.

We've already got a sense of his favorite haunts, the neighborhood he stalks. We've learned about Spokane's homeless community, and local addict culture, through his interaction with Isaac and various flatbills. What other details flesh out Spokane, give it character?

 

[AbraCadaver]

Lucas isn't like Robert Pattinson, Jamie Doran or whatever fantasy man women envision when reading those books.

He's fat, he stinks, he has straight sex predator eyes, he doesn't know how to dress, he is objectively ugly and misshapen.
All of this on top of the fact he can't hold a conversation without talking about his magical electric sperm.

Do women exist with daddy issues who might settle for a dirtbag and confuse red flags for turn-ons? Yeah.
Would Werner stand a chance with most of them? Highly, highly unlikely.

[X] Doubt.

While I agree some level of wanting a "smart pretty young wife" has to do with Lucas's ego & self-worth; I absolutely believe he is a genuine pervert and sex predator who would rape a girl given the opportunity.
He would probably gladly take consensual sex if offered, but no woman in the world wants to be fisted by that living ogre.

Yeah it’s a little silly to say, “women love Fifty Shades, therefore women totally love abusive men!”

A lot of women love the fantasy of 50 Shades and Twilight and all that dreck (equally as many women think it’s creepy and fucked up), which involves a very rich and very hot guy, some naughty taboo sexytimes that middle-aged mums and naive teens might consider exciting...and most importantly, the control that comes with fantasies. You write and rewrite the script of your own fantasy in your head, directing and dictating exactly how it goes.

It’s the diff between a rape fantasy and actual rape…a rape fantasy is NEVER actually about rape because it’s so carefully choreographed inside the fantasizer’s head, and goes exactly how they plan it in their fantasy script, with exactly the partner they want, and they can back up, cross out and redo actions and lines as they go…and most importantly, stop whenever they wish, because they chose to fantasize about it in the first place and they are the willing participant directing all of what happens. It’s never dangerous, it never crosses a line, and it’s never unwanted, because it’s a little carefully scripted movie played out in the fantasizer’s head.

It’s why a lot of guys might fantasize about being in a store when a shootout occurs and then leaping into action to save the day and be a hero. But those same men don’t actually want to be caught in a fucking shootout when they’re buying groceries, that shit is insane and dangerous. The fantasy allows them to script the exciting bits in their head, in a safe and controlled manner that they dictate, and nothing bad ever happens.

The same mums who oooooh and ahhhh over the creepy 50 Shades books would turn around and tell their best friend to gtfo of a real-life relationship that mirrored that plot because it’s crazy and abusive.

Are there women who get into abusive relationships because they don’t see the warning signs, or because they’re simpleminded twits who think it’s exciting and they don’t know any better? Of course. Stupid people get into stupid relationships all the time. Fat Jen, Chantal and other cows over in BP will date alcoholics, crackheads etc because they’re giant girls desperate for “love” and lie to themselves that this is love and not them being taken financial advantage of by addicts and creeps.

But to say that women would go for Lucas because he’s abusive and some women like 50 Shades therefore they like abusive guys is a bit too far. Lucas is actually dangerous and unpredictable AND he’s ugly as sin, smelly, homeless, violent and awful. Sure, there is likely SOME woman out there who would put up with current Lucas, but she’d have to be dangerously crazy like him, ugly like him and desperate as fuck.

The fact that he hasn’t had sex since Suzanne, almost a decade ago, clearly shows that no woman has lowered her standards enough to get with this insane fucker. Not even homeless women looking to roll him for his dole cheques.

 

[Krathnami]

It seemed oddly timely that Lucas’ stepdad hit up @klickitat as soon as Lucas landed in trouble in LA. It’s almost as though he and Myrna still do monitor Lucas from a distance.