Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[WonderWino]

Sounds like the voices on the wind are telling him what to say again

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

Sounds like the voices on the wind are telling him what to say again

It's incredible how closing his eyes and tilting his head back, makes his already punchable face about 60% more punchable. I wouldn't have thought it was possible!

Edit:. In part one of his Cheeto series, he describes a perfect woman, a Jessica Rabbit type, and then says she's the "girl next door".

This is emblematic of how Lucas doesn't understand language: the phrase "The girl next door" doesn't mean the hottest woman in the world, it means the sort of girl that you might find cute, but you could see her living on an ordinary street in middle america. The "girl next door" is not a term that suggests the ideal of physical perfection. I don't know why little mistakes like this bug me so much, I guess it's the smugness that he says them with, but apparently I'm destined to point out all of his errors in speech. Oh, but it was a joke, right?

 

[Neko GF]

Spoiler: Hot Little Chick (Imagine With Guitar)

Archive (1080p):

Spoiler: Are You An Atheist Like I?

Archive (1080p):

Spoiler: Wern Being Funny

Archive (1080p):

 

[Wernology]

He's on a commenting spree again.

 

[Gas Station Boner Pills]

Of course he's eating while filming these.

I'm still fascinated by his need to let people know that he's eating.

He thinks he's flexing on people cause he has a bag of chips. It's the weirdest thing.

As much as I dread the sights and sounds of his eating videos, I'll never stop laughing at that aspect of it. Imagine being so desperate for just anything to have one up over anybody that overpriced gas station snacks are a prize fit to rub into someone's face. On a day that most people are likely with their families eating home cooked meals, Lucas Werner is eating like someone who's on a road trip. Be jealous.

 

[Gaear Grimsrud]

He's on a commenting spree again.

View attachment 2516912

View attachment 2516913

He's insulting you by calling you a girl. Oof. Big yikes. Very problematic, Lucas.

 

[King Daddy Telomerase]

Lucas' demands of the woman that bears his children:

18-21
Hourglass figure
No mental illnesses
Perky tits
Good organs
Intelligent

Lucas:

41
Morbidly obese
Bipolar, Schizophrenic, Pedophilia, Who Knows What Else
Saggiest Uniboob
Tiny Dick
Proves how retarded he is everyday for the world to see

 

[VoidFace]

Lucas' demands of the woman that bears his children:

18-21
Hourglass figure
No mental illnesses
Perky tits
Good organs
Intelligent

Lucas:

41
Morbidly obese
Bipolar, Schizophrenic, Pedophilia, Who Knows What Else
Saggiest Uniboob
Tiny Dick
Proves how retarded he is everyday for the world to see

Also he has untreated diabetes, a gimpy foot, MRSA, can’t walk more than five feet without getting winded, a gourd shaped head, erectile dysfunction and a low IQ.

 

[Telomere Savalas]

"Mugtow"? Is he talking about MGTOW? Incels who have sworn off women? He thinks they are the flatbills?

Looks to me the Spokane Freak has been crying.

 

[Wernology]

He's on a commenting spree again

He's insulting you by calling you a girl. Oof. Big yikes. Very problematic, Lucas.

No, no, see, we just don't get his eDgY humor!

Lucas' demands of the woman that bears his children:

18-21
Hourglass figure
No mental illnesses
Perky tits
Good organs
Intelligent

Lucas:

41
Morbidly obese
Bipolar, Schizophrenic, Pedophilia, Who Knows What Else
Saggiest Uniboob
Tiny Dick
Proves how retarded he is everyday for the world to see

Putting together Lucas stats for the video, here's what I've got so far:

- 41.
- Unhealthy (diabetes, obese, various mental illnesses).
- Floppy tits, but he's at least a D cup.
- 2/10 on the days he remembers to shower and put on clean clothes.
-IQ in the double digits.
- Can't cook.
- Can't provide a home or money.
- Blob figure.
- Foot problems.
- Doesn't know how to hang up clothes.
- Doesn't know how to clean.
- Disrespectful to others.
- Misogynist.
- Homophobic.
- Racist.
- Ableist.
- Has tantrums when he doesn't get his way.
- Not housebroken.
- Under 3" at full staff.
- Rotting teeth.

 

[mothman96]

He has no neck. His head just protrudes from his shoulders.

 

[VoidFace]

He has no neck. His head just protrudes from his shoulders.

View attachment 2517250

Lack of a neck is typical of most leeches and other parasites.

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

Ever Wonder Why We're Atheists?

youtu.be

We know exactly why you're an atheist lucas, you've told us many times before: it's because Daddy God isn't giving you a girlfriend.

What a rational, scientific reason for non-belief.

 

[Twrx]

Sometimes I wonder if it's all just an act, solely because I have never seen anyone, homeless, sane, or just at a level I'm not aware of, that sees being homeless and being poor as largely desirable traits that any woman should automatically be drawn to.

 

[Wernology]

So, I'm not about to be up until well past midnight harvesting Lucas videos.

Cut it off tonight at "Can You Marxism, Please?"

Switched up the intro a little bit just for the hell of it, and put a scrolling list of what Lucas brings to the table over the one where he's talking about how hot his fantasy woman has to be.

I'm sure he'll love it.

It's rendering now.

 

[King Daddy Telomerase]

So, I'm not about to be up until well past midnight harvesting Lucas videos.

Cut it off tonight at "Can You Marxism, Please?"

Switched up the intro a little bit just for the hell of it, and put a scrolling list of what Lucas brings to the table over the one where he's talking about how hot his fantasy woman has to be.

I'm sure he'll love it.

It's rendering now.

He had to mention you in the next video, talking about some apology.

 

[Wernology]

He had to mention you in the next video, talking about some apology.

I never wrote him or apologized for anything.

He can't show that letter because he doesn't have it (or if he does it's not from the email address I use for all things Lucas).
I'd say evidence or fuck off but Lucas never provides evidence.

Since we know Lucas reads the thread: Take a screenshot of the email, with 'my' address included genius, and add it to your video or upload it somewhere and link it--except you can't, because no such email exists.

The last time I think I said anything to him was last year after he briefly unblocked me on IG to ramble on about how his parents were rich and he was on a podcast and I'd be sorry for not being his friend and I responded with Taylor Swift lyrics (specifically "you need to calm down" and he blocked me again).

Oh well, it'll be a good starting point for tomorrow's compilation.

I'm sure he'll go off the rails either in a comment or in another video or two about the list of what Lucas brings to the table in tonight's compilation though.

Edit: Here we go!

 

[Freudian-slip-dress]

He has no neck. His head just protrudes from his shoulders.

View attachment 2517250

That must be a symptom of peak telomerase.

 

[Maxxicus Callahan]

One date that’s all I would want 18-21 year old if not for Covid I could walk up to one but if they are running around during Covid they aren’t that intelligent lol.

He’s so ridiculous when it comes to making up reasons, I got no ID so I can’t go to the bars but I spent the $50 for an ID on pizza because the background voices said I’d get cockblocked at the bar by zoomer dudes.

I’m a bumcel but I’d never admit it because it’s not true. I’d be yeeted by nature if the hot chicks were there. But Gen Z is not nurturing.

Edit: That part right there is so weird to me, no one describes a girlfriend as nurturing ever. That’s a mother’s relationship to a developing child. And nature hasn’t worked out for Lucas. I’m assuming he means if he has a captive audience of young women that can’t get up and walk away he can have sex with them somehow.

I like his slow brain fishing around for an excuse as to why he can’t simply screencap the email. Or better yet write the fake email and read it out in full without using any of his own Wernisms in the writing. He could at least put in some effort if he’s going to lie.

 

[IceQueen]

He had to mention you in the next video, talking about some apology.

Lmaoooo of course Klickitat didn’t apologize. Lucas is such an idiot I can’t believe he thinks we are all stupid enough that we would actually believe that KLICKITAT would feel bad for him. We love Klick for all he does for us, and we know he would never reach out to PukeAss.