Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

Lucas is rarely at Mallon though, and appears to not even sleep there at least some nights. There must be many things he's not telling us, or knows he shouldn't tell us to avoid being homeless again. When he does make videos there, it's always noisy in the background and a couple with people mocking him.

Also, the incel trend has been dying this year. Many that I used to know have moved on from the self-hatred and obsessing over looks bullshit. Especially since Covid, the manosphere has shifted more into looking at how awful young women are on social media. Lucas is a massive simp bitch that goes against all that praising everything women do (except not fucking him).
 
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wenttobermuda said:
It's because he's Lucas. He's cursed to forever be excluded from groups. Even incels.
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Then this would make Lucas not only a bumcel but a lepercel as well because even incels don’t want anything to do with him and as an online group they seem pretty inclusive to men out there who can’t find love. Not to mention his diabetic foot is rotting off and he has MRSA so while not leprosy exactly his poor socialization and bad hygiene is enough to keep anyone away.

edit: what am I saying he’d be an outcast in a leper colony also complaining he can’t hook up with any leper baes.

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Some guy muttering incoherent gibberish and then says socks. Lucas is like yeah I have that problem too that's why I need $50 over cash app, I mediate disputes.
I have a feeling old man Lucas if he isn't run over by a bus will just be muttering incoherent gibberish like that at the bus stop with barely complete sentences.
 
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mothman96 said:
The Freak wants a million dollars a year for being a leech on society bumcel.


ETA:
Skeletor ran into the Freak:
There is a beer next to him so he has been drinking.

ETA2:
He said he got the shoes for free at the place he lives. So is Mallon Place where he got the shirts too.

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Love the diabetic sores on his ankle there.

Relative of mine who died from complications related to being really fucking fat and giving fuck all effort toward losing weight and eating better had ankles that looked like that.

Great sign of piss poor circulation.

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lol @ Lucas the leper.

Lucas could actually be very good at "mediating" or "mitigating" disputes.

He need merely show up. Whoever the opposing sides are, they will instinctively focus all of their hostility on Lucas once they smell him. Whatever their disagreement, they will find common ground in calling Lucas a fat faggot once they see him. No matter the conflict, the parties will set it aside to roar "SHUT THE FUCK UP FAGGOT!" once they hear him. This approach is unlikely to reconcile the parties and end their conflict, but may make their dispute less severe, by draining them of energy they would otherwise invest in attacking each other and refocussing it on Lucas.

Note that the preceding paragraph was an extended play on the difference between "mediate" and "mitigate." I point this out not for the benefit of Wernologists, who are invariably wise and sensitive to the nuances of language, but for Lucas, who needs help understanding why people treat him the way they do.
 
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mothman96 said:
The Freak wants a million dollars a year for being a leech on society bumcel.


ETA:
Skeletor ran into the Freak:
There is a beer next to him so he has been drinking.

ETA2:
He said he got the shoes for free at the place he lives. So is Mallon Place where he got the shirts too.

Click to expand...
@wenttobermuda was RIGHT! LUCAS HAS BEEN SECRETLY DRINKING AWAY FROM THE FACILITY!

Is that breaking the terms of his housing? Or is he just not supposed to drink at the place?

The plot, like Lucas's waistline, continues to thicken...
 
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Maxxicus Callahan said:
Some guy muttering incoherent gibberish and then says socks. Lucas is like yeah I have that problem too that's why I need $50 over cash app, I mediate disputes.
I have a feeling old man Lucas if he isn't run over by a bus will just be muttering incoherent gibberish like that at the bus stop with barely complete sentences.
Click to expand...
Lost my fucking shit at the beginning of that. Hearing what sounds like an older toothless man ramble through a sentence and end it clearly on "SOCKS!" and then Lucas does that transition into "I'll be your fat dumb Judge Judy for 50 bucks".
 
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VoidFace said:
There has to be a limit, right? Like at what point does he collapse in on himself like a dying star?
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Perhaps that was his plan all along. He knows no zoomer bae will ever willingly have anything to do with him, so he deliberately makes himself so obese that he implodes and collapses into a black hole, pulling all of spokane and its zoomer baes into himself

Also its totally everybody else thats stupid, not him. Literally refers to himself as 'scientifically accurate'
 
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I've heard those frigging Outcast Owl weens are back at it again. I really hope they don't start encouraging him with cash prizes and free sneakers again. It looks like there is already somebody else out there wiring him money to moo on cue. At this point they will have him stripping and dancing on Onlyfans if the bullshit doesn't stop. To top it all off I suspect that "ennui blue" on Youtube might be Evie.

These jackheads will never learn and they are nearly as borked in the head as he is.
 
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Unrelated to anything recent but I think Lucas gets mentioned in Cumtown of all things in the premium episode "Knights of Faith"

At 30:33 "He reminds me of that one guy who tried to ask out a 16 year old at Starbucks... that guy was always talking about polymers"

It only lasts for a second but it was a nice slice of wern, in a fairly well known show.
 
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Telomere Savalas said:
Didn't Lucas have Covid at one point? I seem to remember him holing up in a different hotel than Motel 6 for a couple of weeks.
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He was at the My Place hotel where the city was sending the covid homeless people. It has not been verified he actually had covid. It happened at the same time the city gave out vouchers for homeless to stay at motels due to the cold. Since the city already had the whole 3rd floor of the My Place hotel reserved I wonder if some non covid homeless were sent there, Lucas being 1 of them.
 
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No one pointed out even in the clip posted he has a beer next to him. Lucas is back to "self medicating"

Well he's lasted longer than expected in his new flop house but I wonder if he's gonna show up drunk or he's aware that's a no no and drinks himself stupid then sleeps outside?

Also what are rules for not coming home? I can't see a group home being very tolerant to people not returning with out either checking out or informing someone. Those places tend to have waiting lists esp in case of this also has low income old farts.

He's back to smug now he's got a roof over his head. I don't like smug Lucas.

His million dollar idea is just baffling . We know he's awful with money would just get robbed lose it and or blow it. He would not be happy finding real rich people have way more. It's just a number he picked and thinks this will get teen girls into me.

He's back to blowing up again lol fatty.
 
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Enjoy one of my favorite clips from the last Golden USB podcast while I put together the scraps Lucas gave us today,

If you ever wanted a brief moment where Lucas was self aware, I present you a clip of him saying, "Nobody loves me."

If you want it in full context, it's at about 35 minutes in to the final podcast episode.


Edit: Now picture him saying that while sitting outside with a cheap, nasty beard and he's like a shitty mirror universe version of Bill Dauterive.

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Also, today's video.
 
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Bassomatic said:
No one pointed out even in the clip posted he has a beer next to him. Lucas is back to "self medicating"

Well he's lasted longer than expected in his new flop house but I wonder if he's gonna show up drunk or he's aware that's a no no and drinks himself stupid then sleeps outside?

Also what are rules for not coming home? I can't see a group home being very tolerant to people not returning with out either checking out or informing someone. Those places tend to have waiting lists esp in case of this also has low income old farts.

He's back to smug now he's got a roof over his head. I don't like smug Lucas.

His million dollar idea is just baffling . We know he's awful with money would just get robbed lose it and or blow it. He would not be happy finding real rich people have way more. It's just a number he picked and thinks this will get teen girls into me.

He's back to blowing up again lol fatty.
Click to expand...

Smug Lucas is best Lucas. Because it's only a matter of time before he shoots himself in the foot.
 
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GleamingTheQ-Bert said:
@wenttobermuda was RIGHT! LUCAS HAS BEEN SECRETLY DRINKING AWAY FROM THE FACILITY!

Is that breaking the terms of his housing? Or is he just not supposed to drink at the place?

The plot, like Lucas's waistline, continues to thicken...
Click to expand...
Alas. By my casual count, this is the third time Lucas has crept away from Mallon to drink. And then posted an afternoon's worth of visibly intoxicated content.

I wonder if he drinks alone? I hope he does. Absolute best way to drink. I wonder if he's fallen in with some other residents who're touching him for beer money? Even better. New characters? I wonder what the drinking does for his beetus? I wonder if it brings him any comfort, however gassy and fleeting. Doesn't seem to.

Lucas, if he continues to drink like this, may realize that vodka is a more efficient way to go.
 
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