Luke, did I ever tell you about Jar-Jar Binks?

[ICametoLurk]

He was a Gungan exile I met for the first time on the surface of Naboo with my old master, Qui-Gon Jinn, merely the day before we first met your father on this very planet. He was a highly autistic amphibian who seemed to have an uncanny knack for getting involved with some of the most important events in galactic history that he had no plausible reason to be a part of, yet he was there all the same. Now that I think of it, I remember that it was he, who while serving as Senator for a brief time (Force knows how he swung that with his level of intelligence), enabled Chancellor Palpatine to receive emergency powers in the Senate, which led to the Republic enlisting the Clone Army, resulting in the brutal massacre of tens of thousands of Jedi across the galaxy, and ultimately the rise of the Empire itself. Funny how things work out. You know, sometimes you might have found yourself staring into his suspiciously yellow eyes, and noticing a hint of malice under his goofy exterior, but he'd just have some sort of clumsy, comical accident again, and the idea would vanish from your thoughts, as if by a powerful mind trick. Anyway...

He was a good friend.

 

[The Lawgiver]

Hey wasn't he the guy that shat in the urinals at dex's place?

 

[Ultrapenguin]

Don't ever talk to me about Star Wars again you fucking tasteless faggot.

 

[Skitarii]

Jar Jar twinks

 

[Sparkletor 2.0]

...who while serving as Senator for a brief time (Force knows how he swung that with his level of intelligence)...

Goddamn affirmative action laws.

 

[NekoRightsActivist]

>

 

[The Cunting Death]

Luke, did I ever tell you about Ahsoka Tano? She was your father’s exotic teenage alien apprentice, a fine piece of jailbait from a more civilized age. She had the tightest body and the perkiest little breasts in the galaxy; barely legal in most systems.
Anakin and I used to doubleteam her at the end of every successful campaign during the Clone Wars, and once in a while we’d even have the entire 501st run a train over her, part of official Jedi “training” of course. In time, she learned how to handle a meatsaber better than anyone in the Jedi Temple. She wore a miniskirt every day so we told her there were no panties in space, and since she was constantly doing acrobatics you’d get a glimpse of her orange pussy mid fight as she’d do a flip while slicing a B2 Super Battledroid in half. It was surreal.
We taught her to grip her weapon backwards like a dildo and she constantly got captured by pirates and slavers almost every other day. It was ridiculous, like a constant porno Luke, you have no idea. And she was a good friend.

 

[Begemot]

Jar Jar twinks

Yeah, we finna be running a train on dat hoe. He got a big mouth, time to make it useful, cuz.

 

[Pringles Can]

Hey wasn't he the guy that shat in the urinals at dex's place?

Correct. Although I think that was his smartest moment. The Senate doesn't like to remember the time jar jar went down to the lower levels and flashed his wallet to everyone he could. That autistic faggot is lucky he walked away with only 10 stab wounds and all his money stolen.

 

[DumbDude42]