Weeb Slinger
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Sep 4, 2019
Of all the raison d'être that one might have for starting a YouTube channel, proving to a small corner of the Internet that you are a better person than Ethan Ralph must rank as among the most bizarre. They say that there is nothing new under the sun, and also that lightning is smart enough to never strike the same place twice and risk arrest by the weather police. That said, I think that Vickers may have proven himself the exception to these rules by fathering an entirely new type of content; one that is even dumber than his daughter.
The similarities between the two men is too on-point to be a coincidence. It got me thinking: What if, in the very near future, when low-grade time travel technology, of the kind depicted in the film Looper, is a reality, Ethan Ralph has become such a burden on Las Vegas high society that a decision is made to send an assassin back to 2020 to suicide him 'Clinton style'. Unfortunately, Terminator technology has not kept pace with advances in time travel. There is no unstoppable robot killing machine that can be dispatched to do the job. Then some casino mop-pusher, called Greer, has a moment of inspiration: Why don't we send Ethan Ralph back in time to assassinate his younger self? Even if he fails, we won't have to put up with him in our time period anymore.
So Vickers/Future Ralph is bundled into a time machine, along with his family. In the our present day, Current Year Ralph, acting on some degenerate genetic imperative, impregnates his own future daughter - an act of self-felting that makes Vickers/Future Ralph hate him even more. What ensues from there-on is a no-holds-barred Ralph War, which is like the Marvel Multiverse, but with more revenge porn and thumbs going up arses than you see in the average Spider Man film. I wouldn't be surprised if Ralph's assailants in Portugal were a gang of Ralphs, bused-in from nearby parallel dimensions.
I started writing this post as a joke, however, the more that I think about, the more I believe that this is what is actually happening.
The similarities between the two men is too on-point to be a coincidence. It got me thinking: What if, in the very near future, when low-grade time travel technology, of the kind depicted in the film Looper, is a reality, Ethan Ralph has become such a burden on Las Vegas high society that a decision is made to send an assassin back to 2020 to suicide him 'Clinton style'. Unfortunately, Terminator technology has not kept pace with advances in time travel. There is no unstoppable robot killing machine that can be dispatched to do the job. Then some casino mop-pusher, called Greer, has a moment of inspiration: Why don't we send Ethan Ralph back in time to assassinate his younger self? Even if he fails, we won't have to put up with him in our time period anymore.
So Vickers/Future Ralph is bundled into a time machine, along with his family. In the our present day, Current Year Ralph, acting on some degenerate genetic imperative, impregnates his own future daughter - an act of self-felting that makes Vickers/Future Ralph hate him even more. What ensues from there-on is a no-holds-barred Ralph War, which is like the Marvel Multiverse, but with more revenge porn and thumbs going up arses than you see in the average Spider Man film. I wouldn't be surprised if Ralph's assailants in Portugal were a gang of Ralphs, bused-in from nearby parallel dimensions.
I started writing this post as a joke, however, the more that I think about, the more I believe that this is what is actually happening.
