A cock ring killed my dad - I don't know how to process this by user CurrentRub1025
First off: this is unfortunately all 100% real. If a mod needs proof in order to not delete, I can send.
The death certificate lists the cause of death as: acute renal failure, penile incarceration, and sig condition (?): pulmonary embolism. There are only five total people who know about this. I shared it with my partner, but I obviously can't discuss this with my friends or anyone else in the family. I'm posting this from a throwaway account. I'm not sure what I hope to get from sharing this, other than seeking recognition for the absurdity of all of this. Please don't DM me about this. I'll respond to questions the best I can, but like...what do I even say at this point?
TLDR: Dad passed away two weeks ago. We assumed it was drug related, since he had a history of substance and mental health issues. Just received the death certificate, and it listed the above factors as cause of death. Apparently my uncle who IDed the body was told by the detective that my dad's penis necrotized because it was trapped in an s shape pvc pipe - a diy cock ring, more or less. It was likely that he had taken viagra or was on a stimulant, and his erection never went away - so there was blood trapped in the scrotum/penis, and it triggered renal failure, caused a PE, and likely led to him bleeding out after his penis necrotized. My uncle told me that he intended to take this info to his grave / never tell anyone, but the death certificate gave the reasons. Everyone who knew my dad was aware of his trouble/issues, and likely assumed a drug OD. I'm sure there were drugs in his system, but we haven't received the toxicity report.
I've been operating under the assumption that my dad killed himself with drugs, for almost two weeks. I was so mad/frustrated, and had recurring anxiety. I've never cried so hard in my life, or experienced so many competing emotions. But, finding this out just leaves me...confused. It's like something that would have been written as a twisted joke in a comedy. Knowing that it was an accident has removed some of the complicated feelings/questions that come from a family member committing suicide, but this still feels like a drawn out and slow suicide to me. I can't make sense of it, and doubt I ever will.
My siblings and I have tried to find the humor in it - he died doing what he loved, or something to that affect. But it's still a pointless and unnecessary death. Like, I don't get why he didn't just call an ambulance. We have to assume that drugs were involved, and maybe he didn't know what was fully going on. If that's the case, I feel bad for him - I assume he was freaking the fuck out, but maybe couldn't respond? I just...don't know.
Again, no idea what I hope to get with this. I just can't share it with anyone in my life, and will have to say some generic thing about to anyone who asks "heart issues." This is such an embarrassing way for him to pass, and I understand why my uncle didn't want to tell us. It was already hard enough to adjust and accept his passing. I am worried this will delay me accepting it, because I can't take it seriously. It's so fucking crazy.
Note: I originally typed out a longer explanation with more context/background info, but I think my brother in law is on here, so I ended up deleting anything that could be traced back.
