I think I mentioned it one other time but I had a distant uncle create his own homemade cheese from a recipe and he called it "squeaky cheese." No other name given, but it was a light yellow, almost white, and had a firm consistency and taste between mild and sharp. The craziest fucking thing though, was when you chewed it you would hear a squeak inside your fucking skull. Somehow the firmness resonated in your head and it was surreal to feel it after hearing the description. 100% real story and not a joke, I'd love to get more of it but I don't know what to ask for. Even the Mars Cheese Castle had no idea what I was talking about.