Magic The Gathering

[Retink Retunk]

Man, the autistic nerds on this thread should start a MTG lore podcast. We're already demonstrating more ability than the others.

I'm not that autistic, I just really liked the old lore back then and I'm depressed with how shit the lore and IP has become. Ok, maybe I'm autistic after writing that.

 

[Honka Honka Burning Love]

That's not true, I'm pretty sure they called him a Praetor in the books back then, but I don't have them on hand.

I don't think the two books he appeared in ever called him a Preator, The Thran novel only had him being fully Phyrexianized at the very end and all I remember of Xantcha's descriptions of Gix were that his name means Rape in Phyrexian.

But I concede them using the title in Flavor Text, but I will say it is odd that Gix is one but not Tsabo.

Man, the autistic nerds on this thread should start a MTG lore podcast.

Why there is only like 20 people on the planet who actually care about MTG lore, those viewing numbers would be real low.

Only reason I am listening to this retarded ass podcast is because I can listen to it at work when I don't have anything else to listen to.

 

[Flexo]

I don't think the two books he appeared in ever called him a Preator, The Thran novel only had him being fully Phyrexianized at the very end and all I remember of Xantcha's descriptions of Gix were that his name means Rape in Phyrexian.

That would be a heck of a tard fight - when the books contradict the cards, which should take precedence?

Which would be fun with stuff like Ikoria where the books had a character die and the cards didn't.

 

[Angry Crustacean]

That would be a heck of a tard fight - when the books contradict the cards, which should take precedence?

Which would be fun with stuff like Ikoria where the books had a character die and the cards didn't.

The multiverse, last refuge of corporations who can't keep the canon of their own IP straight, is surely the answer.

 

[Honka Honka Burning Love]

That would be a heck of a tard fight - when the books contradict the cards, which should take precedence?

I would say the Cards if only because those are much more important

Which would be fun with stuff like Ikoria where the books had a character die and the cards didn't.

They should probably just like have a short story explaining that even if it's janky.

 

[Retink Retunk]

I don't think the two books he appeared in ever called him a Preator, The Thran novel only had him being fully Phyrexianized at the very end and all I remember of Xantcha's descriptions of Gix were that his name means Rape in Phyrexian.

But I concede them using the title in Flavor Text, but I will say it is odd that Gix is one but not Tsabo.

I think they did as I remember reading the books long before New Phyrexia and thinking it was a cool term. I think it was the point when Xantcha remembers Gix being punished for failing during The Brother's War and other praetors had to drag him down into the pits to torture him. His name didn't mean rape literally, she just felt violated by him and said Phyrexia didn't have a term for rape but if it did it would be Gix as he was the embodiment of rape.

I don't think it's that weird, Gix was a higher rank in Phyrexia being one of the first Phyrexians, Tsabo was just the spearhead general that was in charge of the cave portal forces. She was closer to an Evincar in rank but once she failed Crovax had enough standing to butcher her for her failure.

 

[PonderosaPete]

I purpose a podcast where we just make up lore for MTG.
" So the gatewatch was losing this ACTUAL fucking war, bro. So you won't believe this. Gideon sacrifices himself to save Ezio, which gives the lone wanderer the opening to just dome Elesh Norn right in the head. Get this, bro. You ready? She falls right into the one ring, just completely vaporizing her, dude. "


Someone on the design team would eventually watch it to refresh themselves, not get the joke and accidentally canonize some part of it. I believe they're that retarded.

 

[macrodegenerate]

I purpose a podcast where we just make up lore for MTG.
" So the gatewatch was losing this ACTUAL fucking war, bro. So you won't believe this. Gideon sacrifices himself to save Ezio, which gives the lone wanderer the opening to just dome Elesh Norn right in the head. Get this, bro. You ready? She falls right into the one ring, just completely vaporizing her, dude. "


Someone on the design team would eventually watch it to refresh themselves, not get the joke and accidentally canonize some part of it. I believe they're that retarded.

I have a mic and discord exists. We just need like three people.

Episode one is about how Urza managed to defeat Sheolad with the support of elspeth and Mishra and the gatewatch. The twist is that Mishra was always a sleeper from new Phyrexia.

Episode two would be about Nissa's elf supremacy and a straight accurate description of the Lorwyn block.

 

[Retink Retunk]

I purpose a podcast where we just make up lore for MTG.
" So the gatewatch was losing this ACTUAL fucking war, bro. So you won't believe this. Gideon sacrifices himself to save Ezio, which gives the lone wanderer the opening to just dome Elesh Norn right in the head. Get this, bro. You ready? She falls right into the one ring, just completely vaporizing her, dude. "


Someone on the design team would eventually watch it to refresh themselves, not get the joke and accidentally canonize some part of it. I believe they're that retarded.

As if, we all know Elesh faked her death to go into hiding and live a long happy life getting piped down by Tezzeret. Not everything is happy in their marriage though, Tez keeps bitching about all the blood he gets covered in and it's impossible to keep the house clean.

 

[Honka Honka Burning Love]

I have a mic and discord exists. We just need like three people.

Episode one is about how Urza managed to defeat Sheolad with the support of elspeth and Mishra and the gatewatch. The twist is that Mishra was always a sleeper from new Phyrexia.

Episode two would be about Nissa's elf supremacy and a straight accurate description of the Lorwyn block.

You have to mention that Urza is the most powerful planeswalker ever, and came out as a MtF Furry Transfolk in Bloomburrow

 

[Granada Granola]

I purpose a podcast where we just make up lore for MTG.
" So the gatewatch was losing this ACTUAL fucking war, bro. So you won't believe this. Gideon sacrifices himself to save Ezio, which gives the lone wanderer the opening to just dome Elesh Norn right in the head. Get this, bro. You ready? She falls right into the one ring, just completely vaporizing her, dude. "


Someone on the design team would eventually watch it to refresh themselves, not get the joke and accidentally canonize some part of it. I believe they're that retarded.

Headcanon is allowed in MTG. *gasp* its almost like MTG became popular because it was a social game first and the antisocial grifters joined in later to turn it P2W.

 

[Flexo]

Headcanon is allowed in MTG. *gasp* its almost like MTG became popular because it was a social game first and the antisocial grifters joined in later to turn it P2W.

. . .Are you being sarcastic?

Magic's P2W problem was infamous back when it started. They very nearly crashed the game trying to print to demand with Fallen Empires because previous runs had been so short. (I mean in the "this much product should last us a year - oh we sold out in 3 months" kind of short.)

 

[Granada Granola]

. . .Are you being sarcastic?

Magic's P2W problem was infamous back when it started. They very nearly crashed the game trying to print to demand with Fallen Empires because previous runs had been so short. (I mean in the "this much product should last us a year - oh we sold out in 3 months" kind of short.)

I'm quite aware of black lotus and all that drama. I was introduced to it by my Dad and don't care about competitive magic. Its a fun fantasy setting and a game I only played with friends that isn't creatively bankrupt and strictly about orcs and dragons for the nth fucking time because western culture seems hellbent on criminalizing any shred of originality or freedom of thought.

I don't care about bitching about woke shit. You can easily dismiss it and ban it from your own stuff and remove anyone from your life who insists on bringing that shit into your circles and trying to force that on others. Continuing to let that live rent free just makes you a closetfag who can't enjoy anything in this life. I'm not saying you can't hold assholes accountable for fucking with things you like. I'm saying you don't need to let them mindrape you and make every little thing about complaining and nitpicking.

I like Slivers, New Phyrexians, and Eldrazi. Actual world ending threats. Not exclusively another forgettable human vs human only pvp deathmatch story that plagues the fantasy genre with insanely pretty art, but zero thought put into writing or worldbuilding and the retards/discordniggers would rather go on banning sprees than jot down a few paragraphs to work off in a word document. Thank god for kiwifarms.

 

[Honka Honka Burning Love]

I think the biggest thing that really inflates the price of Magic the Gathering is the Lands.

Back in the day Nonbasic Lands were (with a few exceptions) Trash, now even a Mono Colored Standard Deck has to sink cash into some non basic utility lands.

I like Slivers, New Phyrexians, and Eldrazi.

FAG

Fun bit from the March of the Machines Podcast

"Kyodai is a dragon...WHO CAN FLY!"



IMAGINE A DRAGON WHO CAN FLY PEOPLE

My God these people say nothing

"Tamiyo is was so strong!"
"Kaya is so STRONG!"
"NISSA IS SO STRONG!"

 

[PonderosaPete]

Its a fun fantasy setting and a game I only played with friends that isn't creatively bankrupt

How does your friends not being creatively bankrupt have anything to do with game? Like, I like your moxie, but that has nothing to do with anything. I wish you best of luck, but if Eldrazi(Lovecraft), New Phyrexia( revived from times of actual writers), and slivers(tyrenids) are what you consider creative, you should read something besides mtg slop for a while. You wouldn't know creatively if it slapped your dad upside the head first and you second. Don't ever misinterpret my musings again you fat retarded neckbeard or I'll slap that dad of yours with my dick.

 

[Granada Granola]

How does your friends not being creatively bankrupt have anything to do with game? Like, I like your moxie, but that has nothing to do with anything. I wish you best of luck, but if Eldrazi(Lovecraft), New Phyrexia( revived from times of actual writers), and slivers(tyrenids) are what you consider creative, you should read something besides mtg slop for a while. You wouldn't know creatively if it slapped your dad upside the head first and you second. Don't ever misinterpret my musings again you fat retarded neckbeard or I'll slap that dad of yours with my dick.

Lmao that's rich coming from some retard proposing forgettable lazyass podcast #2353253443534.
Don't ever touch this card game again you projecting glownigger tourist faggot.

 

[Honka Honka Burning Love]

Ladies you are both autistic

 

[Logistical Nightmare]

Lmao that's rich coming from some retard proposing forgettable lazyass podcast #2353253443534.
Don't ever touch this card game again you projecting glownigger tourist faggot.

>thinks the podcast pitch is anything more than a joke about how even making up BS the literal Tards on here could make a more interesting story
>’just don’t think about the mindrape bro’
>likes slivers
>anime pfp

we’ve been felted gang

 

[Peep Plops]

This is some industrial-grade faggotry and everyone involved should immediately rope.

 

[DootSkeleton]

I was introduced to it by my Dad and don't care about competitive magic.

So what format(s) do you play then?