Make A Conspiracy Theory

[Pocket Dragoon]

The Mayan calendar was translated wrong, and the world is going to end 21.12.2021.

From what I know of, by unknown authority, the actual date is 3.3.2030.

(Or God just doesn't like the number one)

The organization that really runs the world is called Flippity-Floppity Oobly-Oo. They’re able to get away with it because every time someone discovers them, they dismiss it as an obviously made-up name, and they’re too embarrassed to tell anyone else.

Sorta like a filthy, crusty fleshlight that's rolling around on the floorboard, which nobody suspects is packed with a lid of Thai & a couple points of the finest Columbian bangbang?

Maybe that's what they're really hiding from us.

Alex Jones is a giant mutated gay frog under cover, trying to worn the world about the dangers of chemicals that can create more giant gay mutant frogs.

Also, he's hypno'd people into licking him, which is what really turns them into giant mut-AAAAAALL HAIL HYPNO TOAD!

 

[ThatGayElfFromDragonAge]

Bioware intentionally made Anthem a pile of shit because they want out from under E.A.s thumb and getting E.A. to shut them down entirely is the only way they can do it.

 

[Pocket Dragoon]

Null, Zoom and Vordrak are all deep cover Illuminati barons that are operating psyop training grounds for future NWO agents.

Sorry, new theories only.

Or did we not cover that yet?

Well, by all means.....

Wasn't the couch cuck an encyclopedia dramatica Psy-op

Dig him up.

It's the only way to be sure.

 

[c-no]

In truth about the Illuminati, they're actually at war with two factions: the Jewish bankers who control Israel and Wu-Tang Clan which you think is actually a group of rappers but they're actually the Illuminati for black people. They managed to make one after being denied entry into the Illuminati.

 

[Pocket Dragoon]

In truth about the Illuminati, they're actually at war with two factions: the Jewish bankers who control Israel and Wu-Tang Clan which you think is actually a group of rappers but they're actually the Illuminati for black people. They managed to make one after being denied entry into the Illuminati.

So is Kanye is really real Illuminati?

 

[c-no]

So is Kanye is really real Illuminati?

Only if Wu-Tang allows Kanye to join but RZA is weary of letting Kanye in. The Jewish Bankers might let Kanye join if he gives them a 25% of his entire bank account to them as well as promising to be more on the Kardashian tv show.

 

[The Cunting Death]

Are we human or are we dancer?

 

[Sigma]

Canadians flooded the USA with second rate cartoons in a secret plot to make them intellectually stagnant so they can steal the other half of Niagara falls with barely any resistance.

 

[Dysnomia]

K-pop idols are not human. The plastic surgery they supposidly go under to look the same is a lie. They are all clones of an ancient alien found in a crypod that was buried deep within the Mariana Trench some 50 million years ago. This alien was a powerful general who committed many atrocities during the war with the United Federation of Planets. He was sent here because Earth is a prison planet and the UFP does not believe in execution. Sadly this may eventually be their undoing.

Currently his body cannot be revived due to the limited scientific technology available on Earth. So the bloodline of his commrades who were also sent to this prison rock floating in space can only clone him.

What is the purpose of these clones? K-pop music is set to a very special frequency. This frequency can only be detected by the alien general's fleet of super powered space drones who lay in wait for their master's signal.

That's right, K-pop is a hailing signal!

And it is already too late. The drone ships detected the signal ten years ago and are already on their way. They can travel twenty times the speed of light and will reach Earth in five years time. They have already laid waste to several UFP outposts meant to protect the galaxy from the general's remaining forces. There is no one left close enough to Earth to save us in time. By the time the UFP catches up to the drones we will have been already enslaved and forced to fight against our only saviors. The ships carry ancient technology to revive the general. Once this happens the clone army will finally "awaken". Those who listen to K-pop are already under their control and will serve as cannon fodder for UFP forces.

Earth has five years to prepare. We are about to become the center of an epic war that has been taken up again after 50 million years of galactic peace.

DO NOT listen to K-pop. Delete your MP3s. Throw away your CDs. Burn your posters. Delete your fanblogs. The only way to resist is to contact the UFP and let them know that we know the war is about to begin and we wish to join forces. They can send us blueprints for powerful technology that we can use to fight on the homefront as we await their reinforecements. Secret resistance forces are already forming and attempting to send signals into space aimed at a single, forgotten outpost located near the belt of Orion. If that outpost is destroyed our chances will be next to none that we won't be entirely brainwashed and enslaved by the time the UFP arrives. Secret technology to avoid K-pop brainwashing is being developed. But it is still not 100% effective. If Earth is completely overtaken before the UFP arrives they may be forced to destroy it to save the galaxy.

They should have executed that general 50 million years ago. But a society that does not believe in the death penalty is not a perfect one. This fallacy could very well end not only our lives but the lives of billions all across the universe.

 

[Monolith]

Everywhere you're not currently observing is completely filled with densely packed Hitlers.

 

[Tragi-Chan]

The clues that Paul McCartney died were a cover for the real conspiracy - that everyone except Paul is dead.