Make a really weird threat

[User names must be unique]

Don't make me go middle ages on your upper thighs.

 

[FierceBrosnan]

I AM GOING TO TAKE YOUR MOTHER OUT FOR A NICE SEAFOOD DINNER, AND THEN NEVER CALL HER AGAIN!!!

 

[Milk Mage]

I will fufucjking steal your sspine

 

[King Buzzo]

I will steal your mail and return it to the sender.

 

[Jmz_33]

I will break into your house and steal all your left socks.

 

[Pocket Dragoon]

Dot's looking.

Dot's found.

Run

 

[YayLasagna]

I'll punt you so hard that you'll either get a uterus, or if you already have one the sheer force of the kick gets you 9 months pregnant, then instantly make you have a miscarriage.

 

[Monolith]

I will fucking poop in your oven.

 

[wateryketchup]

I'm gonna cut your fucking nose off then reattach it upside down so the next time it rains you drown

 

[glasscannon]

If you don't stop I will piss on every expensive thing that you own

 

[Autopsy]

I'll tell the nearest Jehovah's Witnesses outfit that you're a militant atheist with a recluse born-again wife who only answers the door at 6 am and that she would really love to speak with them if she could only get the chance.

 

[SugarSnot]

I will not invite you to my birthday party.

 

[UselessRubberKeyboard]

I once had the dubious enjoyment of reading a comment thread on a local beauty contest. While it's not really supposed to be a threat, "I'd fuck her into a wheelchair" kinda stuck with me for some reason.

And yeah. If you're not careful, I'll call your mother. Then we'll see who's laughing.

 

[Porque no los dos?]

Don't make me go J Yaniv on your ass.

 

[UE 558]

I'm gonna make you wipe Steven Assanti's ass

 

[Vorhtbame]

I swear by all that's holy, revenge will be mine. I'm never gonna give you up. I'm never gonna let you down. Never gonna run around and desert you. I'm never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye, never gonna tell a lie.

And hurt you.

 

[Jmz_33]

I will through cheese at your new born!

 

[Rigor Meowtis]

you'd bet I'll fucking butter your biscuit! Bake you a pie too!

 

[Fascist Frederick]

I'm going to pee in your butt!!

 

[Jmz_33]

I’m going to steal your cats!