Make a really weird threat

So help me God if you do that I'm gonna make a slit up the middle of your cock, stuff it up with mushrooms n fried onions, sew you up good, hit the barbie bq for a few, and than let the neighborhood pitbulls feast away.
 
I’ll sarcastically call you “Chuckles” so everyone thinks you have no sense of humour.
 
If you don't beat that potato senseless, I will personally show you the fury of a man armed with a spork.
 
You better kiss your nuts goodbye cause im going to eat them and you better get a taste before its too late.
 
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