Martial Arts

[GFYS]

fighting

Born into a family that taught Kyokushin kaikan - an offshoot of Ōyama Masutatsu's full contact Karate - in a Japanese town in South America. My shit stain dad wanted another boy, so I got his pussbag karate pounded into me since before I can remember. Not a good time. Around 11, I started learning Brazilian jiu-jitsu and a hybrid Brazilain/Dutch kickboxing just by watching the older kids training at the park. I was probably the equivalent of a white belt on the verge of earning a blue belt, when I beat the shit out of my limpdick old man. It wasn't even a contest, I destroyed his bitch ass, and his bitch karate with him barely landing anything. The fucker cried like the little Japanese coward he is, and I loved it. When I could afford it, I'd enroll in some BJJ classes at American McDojos cashing in on the early UFC wins of Royce Gracie. Once I had secured better finances, I studied MMA at a school taught by a Rickson Gracie brown belt that trained a well-known former UFC heavyweight champ, a former XFO & TFC welterweight champ, a Pan Am Judoka medalist, and two actors who were in the first Mortal Kombat games. I was also instructed in US Army hand-to-hand combatives, through my work. I thought I was hot shit, but got humiliated by an Andre Terencio black belt, who I've since trained with on-again-off-again since then. I think I learn more with her, since most of the class members are women, and the moves are tailored as such. On the side, I've had opportunities to attend clinics with the likes of Josh Barnett, Shone Carter, Duke Roufus, Pat Barry, Andrei Arlovski, Anthony Pettis, Hannette Staack, Randy Couture, Mike van Aarsdale, Dan Henderson, Michelle Waterson, Keith Hackney, Nick Serra, Rich Franklin, and Jorge Gurgel among others. Truthfully, I go to rub elbows with 'em, more than to train. I've studied enough to know I don't know enough to be great, if that makes any sense. I just don't commit, I have a terrible work ethic, and I abso-fucking-lutely don't buy into the whole zen bushido bullshit of martial arts (which is why I love Shonie Carter so much - he doesn't judge you, he just shows you how to mess someone up without getting messed up yourself). I just enjoy playing rough, staying in decent shape, and I want to remain competent enough that I can bully around the average slob regardless of weight (or destroy the old man again if given the opportunity). If that clashes with your "way of the warrior" comic book code of ethics, I'll be happy to tell you where you can shove your bushido honor bullshit.

tl;dr I can fuck most people up pretty good, weight classes be damned. If I'm outclassed, in skill, I can at least tell right away when I need to cheat.

 

[Bob's Fries]

Re: fighting

Born into a family that taught Kyokushin kaikan - an offshoot of Ōyama Masutatsu's full contact Karate - in a Japanese town in South America. My shit stain dad wanted another boy, so I got his pussbag karate pounded into me since before I can remember. Not a good time. Around 11, I started learning Brazilian jiu-jitsu and a hybrid Brazilain/Dutch kickboxing just by watching the older kids training at the park. I was probably the equivalent of a white belt on the verge of earning a blue belt, when I beat the shit out of my limpdick old man. It wasn't even a contest, I destroyed his bitch ass, and his bitch karate with him barely landing anything. The fucker cried like the little Japanese coward he is, and I loved it. When I could afford it, I'd enroll in some BJJ classes at American McDojos cashing in on the early UFC wins of Royce Gracie. Once I had secured better finances, I studied MMA at a school taught by a Rickson Gracie brown belt that trained a well-known former UFC heavyweight champ, a former XFO & TFC welterweight champ, a Pan Am Judoka medalist, and two actors who were in the first Mortal Kombat games. I was also instructed in US Army hand-to-hand combatives, through my work. I thought I was hot shit, but got humiliated by an Andre Terencio black belt, who I've since trained with on-again-off-again since then. I think I learn more with her, since most of the class members are women, and the moves are tailored as such. On the side, I've had opportunities to attend clinics with the likes of Josh Barnett, Shone Carter, Duke Roufus, Pat Barry, Andrei Arlovski, Anthony Pettis, Hannette Staack, Randy Couture, Mike van Aarsdale, Dan Henderson, Michelle Waterson, Keith Hackney, Nick Serra, Rich Franklin, and Jorge Gurgel among others. Truthfully, I go to rub elbows with 'em, more than to train. I've studied enough to know I don't know enough to be great, if that makes any sense. I just don't commit, I have a terrible work ethic, and I abso-fucking-lutely don't buy into the whole zen bushido bullshit of martial arts (which is why I love Shonie Carter so much - he doesn't judge you, he just shows you how to mess someone up without getting messed up yourself). I just enjoy playing rough, staying in decent shape, and I want to remain competent enough that I can bully around the average slob regardless of weight (or destroy the old man again if given the opportunity). If that clashes with your "way of the warrior" comic book code of ethics, I'll be happy to tell you where you can shove your bushido honor bullshit.

tl;dr I can fuck most people up pretty good, weight classes be damned. If I'm outclassed, in skill, I can at least tell right away when I need to cheat.

Well... You got quite a history there. I'm not quite sure how to react, but I'll give you some claps. Also in the words of OPL, "I salute to you, good sir."

*claps*

Edit: Which reminds me. Kyokushin is... probably an offshoot of Goju style Karate if I remember correctly. This is just me sperging about the "technical" stuff.

 

[champthom]

My school had a kendo club, but I didn't do it because I didn't think I had the right mental attitude for it (i.e. I just wanted to beat people up with a sword).

I'd love to take it out to become more disciplined but the closest dojo to me is like, 2 hours away which would be tricky.

 

[Bob's Fries]

My school had a kendo club, but I didn't do it because I didn't think I had the right mental attitude for it (i.e. I just wanted to beat people up with a sword).

I'd love to take it out to become more disciplined but the closest dojo to me is like, 2 hours away which would be tricky.

Sucks. I feel your pain. Nowadays I can't go to kendo since there's like no dojos close by.

 

[GFYS]

Re: fighting

Well... You got quite a history there. I'm not quite sure how to react, but I'll give you some claps. Also in the words of OPL, "I salute to you, good sir."

It has it's moments.

Edit: Which reminds me. Kyokushin is... probably an offshoot of Goju style Karate if I remember correctly. This is just me sperging about the "technical" stuff.

You know, in hindsight, it's really Kyokushin-in-name-only. It was a mix of Shotokan and Goju-Ryu, with almost no Jiujitsu and the occasional Aikido-inspired throws. They also believed in that Kiai / yellow bamboo shit, to some extent. Absolutely no joint locks, holds, or chokes. Other than a front kick and a few useless elbows, It had absolutely no defense against any real kind of grappler, practically nothing to counter any strikes from the clinch, and none of it had the follow-through power of a solid Kickboxing strike except their reverse punch (which was ridiculously telegraphed). It was also useless against a southpaw (which I switched to). It has a bitch-ass vanity name which can go die in a hole somewhere, but they still described it as "Kyokushin" even though I'm 99.999% certain they didn't answer to the JKA or any other official group. The whole neighborhood existed because they bribed corrupt officials to ignore integration laws, so - really - why would their "Karate" be legit too?

Y'know, the only art I've every wanted to learn in earnest, was Judo. When I came to the states, it was modestly popular to teach alongside US Karate. After the first few UFCs, they all started teaching BJJ (sort of) instead, and then Krav Maga a few years later. I like BJJ and military arts, but there was always something about Judo that clicked with me (and my hips). I hadn't given it much thought for years, until Ronda Rousey started to become a household name. While I do know a decorated Judoka, he exclusively teaches catch wrestling unless you can schedule a one-on-one. Otherwise, I run into that same problem of not being able to find a school. At least there's plenty of instructional videos. Nothing beats live training, but some kind of video training beats nothing at all.

Which, hey, leads me to ask... Any other southpaws here? Anyone switch?

I'm somewhat ambidextrous, doing everyday tasks. I can switch hit in softball, and shoot left or right. I can casually write, though I'm slow, with my left. The only things I absolutely can only do right-handed is sign my name, write cursive, and throw overhand. I fight southpaw, for the most part, so I have particularly snappy jabs - presumably KO power given appropriate circumstances - while my left cross is no slouch. Standing with my strong side forward is something I just instinctively slipped into, but I won't deny there's a fair amount of advantage given against someone expecting an orthodox opponent. I can switch for boxing, but I still get a little crossed up throwing kicks from orthodox.

 

[Scarfies]

Did Keysi Fighting Method for about a year, then kickboxing for another. Enjoyed KFM a lot more than kickboxing, although kickboxing doesn't look as silly (pensadore, man, it works but goddamn it looks stupid).

 

[Smokedaddy]

Which, hey, leads me to ask... Any other southpaws here? Anyone switch?

I'm somewhat ambidextrous, doing everyday tasks. I can switch hit in softball, and shoot left or right. I can casually write, though I'm slow, with my left. The only things I absolutely can only do right-handed is sign my name, write cursive, and throw overhand. I fight southpaw, for the most part, so I have particularly snappy jabs - presumably KO power given appropriate circumstances - while my left cross is no slouch. Standing with my strong side forward is something I just instinctively slipped into, but I won't deny there's a fair amount of advantage given against someone expecting an orthodox opponent. I can switch for boxing, but I still get a little crossed up throwing kicks from orthodox.

I'm bisexualhanded. I usually write with my left and usually throw with my right, but it's unpredictable and you can't read my writing either way. (Neither can I.) Either direction feels fine for swinging a baseball bat, which is good because I never manage to hit the baseball, just intimidate it.

At the computer, I use a right-handed mouse and a left-handed digitizing tablet, making me TWO-FISTED-MAN of DOOM when it comes to operating menus and things.

 

[Bob's Fries]

Re: fighting

Well... You got quite a history there. I'm not quite sure how to react, but I'll give you some claps. Also in the words of OPL, "I salute to you, good sir."

It has it's moments.

Edit: Which reminds me. Kyokushin is... probably an offshoot of Goju style Karate if I remember correctly. This is just me sperging about the "technical" stuff.

You know, in hindsight, it's really Kyokushin-in-name-only. It was a mix of Shotokan and Goju-Ryu, with almost no Jiujitsu and the occasional Aikido-inspired throws. They also believed in that Kiai / yellow bamboo shit, to some extent. Absolutely no joint locks, holds, or chokes. Other than a front kick and a few useless elbows, It had absolutely no defense against any real kind of grappler, practically nothing to counter any strikes from the clinch, and none of it had the follow-through power of a solid Kickboxing strike except their reverse punch (which was ridiculously telegraphed). It was also useless against a southpaw (which I switched to). It has a bitch-ass vanity name which can go die in a hole somewhere, but they still described it as "Kyokushin" even though I'm 99.999% certain they didn't answer to the JKA or any other official group. The whole neighborhood existed because they bribed corrupt officials to ignore integration laws, so - really - why would their "Karate" be legit too?

Y'know, the only art I've every wanted to learn in earnest, was Judo. When I came to the states, it was modestly popular to teach alongside US Karate. After the first few UFCs, they all started teaching BJJ (sort of) instead, and then Krav Maga a few years later. I like BJJ and military arts, but there was always something about Judo that clicked with me (and my hips). I hadn't given it much thought for years, until Ronda Rousey started to become a household name. While I do know a decorated Judoka, he exclusively teaches catch wrestling unless you can schedule a one-on-one. Otherwise, I run into that same problem of not being able to find a school. At least there's plenty of instructional videos. Nothing beats live training, but some kind of video training beats nothing at all.

Could've sworn you guys are known for body blows since I noticed a lot of your kumite/sparring avoid face punches.