💀 Horrorcow Masaokis - Cooking with Hoarders

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Xarpho said:
Must have skipped that part.

Between the complete lack of knowledge on cooking and the pigsty of a house, it's a miracle that his house hasn't gone up flames by now.

Maybe it already has.
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He starts fires all the time, almost daily. And he did recently relocate into a newer place so.... yeah, he probably torched the old place.
 
He things egg Shells are Egg Whites, He think eggs shell are Egg Whites
I was toying with the idea it could be a language thing (he has a Qubecois Francophone Accent) yet his English is clear and grammatical, and what I would expect from someone who was raised bilingual but speaking primary French. So it seems to be a Lolcow or doesn't care thing
 
serdog said:
He things egg Shells are Egg Whites, He think eggs shell are Egg Whites
I was toying with the idea it could be a language thing (he has a Qubecois Francophone Accent) yet his English is clear and grammatical, and what I would expect from someone who was raised bilingual but speaking primary French. So it seems to be a Lolcow or doesn't care thing
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Who knows. He's obviously literate (really, in the States, functionally illiterate people at supermarkets aren't that uncommon), and it's probably not staged because no outrageous Internet personality could fake a hoarder house.

The whole "Mussolini and Stalin" thing was confusing. If he has the slightest idea of who these men were, he obviously doesn't hold a high opinion of both Bush and Obama, but if that were the case, why did he leave the TV on for the inauguration?
 
Xarpho said:
Who knows. He's obviously literate (really, in the States, functionally illiterate people at supermarkets aren't that uncommon), and it's probably not staged because no outrageous Internet personality could fake a hoarder house.

The whole "Mussolini and Stalin" thing was confusing. If he has the slightest idea of who these men were, he obviously doesn't hold a high opinion of both Bush and Obama, but if that were the case, why did he leave the TV on for the inauguration?
Click to expand...

No he's from Canada, he has a few videos where he's walking around his city and it's obviously Quebec City, he passes major landmarks and street signs. And he is a law clerk and a legal notary too, someone from the SA forums found his listings.
 
Xarpho said:
Who knows. He's obviously literate (really, in the States, functionally illiterate people at supermarkets aren't that uncommon), and it's probably not staged because no outrageous Internet personality could fake a hoarder house.

The whole "Mussolini and Stalin" thing was confusing. If he has the slightest idea of who these men were, he obviously doesn't hold a high opinion of both Bush and Obama, but if that were the case, why did he leave the TV on for the inauguration?
Click to expand...
He's more than literate - he's an international business lawyer.

As for the hoarder house, the mess is somehow confined to his kitchen. Usually, hoarders have sentimental reasons for keeping their crap, but Masao just doesn't understand how or why he should take out the trash. Well, at least until this point:
 
His videos give me so much second hand anxiety
Like stop
Why are you putting the toaster in the oven
YOU CANNOT MAKE BANANA JUICE THAT WAY PLEASE STOP ;-;
 
derpi said:
His videos give me so much second hand anxiety
Like stop
Why are you putting the toaster in the oven
YOU CANNOT MAKE BANANA JUICE THAT WAY PLEASE STOP ;-;
Click to expand...

Why does the steak need softening? If a steak needs softening why is it in your bathroom on the toilet oh god noooo :cryblood:

I really can't believe I forgot about this guy. I remember seeing some of his vids on SA years ago and now all the trauma is flooding back.

How has he not given himself ten flavors of e.coli and other horrible parasites?
 
derpi said:
His videos give me so much second hand anxiety
Like stop
Why are you putting the toaster in the oven
YOU CANNOT MAKE BANANA JUICE THAT WAY PLEASE STOP ;-;
Click to expand...
Literally anything can be melted if you heat it up enough. Geez, didn't you ever do science?

GRANDnumberofMULTIPLES said:
Why does the steak need softening? If a steak needs softening why is it in your bathroom on the toilet oh god noooo :cryblood:

I really can't believe I forgot about this guy. I remember seeing some of his vids on SA years ago and now all the trauma is flooding back.

How has he not given himself ten flavors of e.coli and other horrible parasites?
Click to expand...
Obviously, he's safe from parasites because he ate food covered in CLR, which killed all the bad things in his stomach.
 
derpi said:
His videos give me so much second hand anxiety
Like stop
Why are you putting the toaster in the oven
YOU CANNOT MAKE BANANA JUICE THAT WAY PLEASE STOP ;-;
Click to expand...

The first person perspective really does it. It gives me the same feeling as sitting in the passenger seat while someone drives recklessly. My foot is forever mashing the brake pedal that isn't there. Cooking, like driving, is an activity where you really need to stay on top of things. The viewer notices things going wrong long before he does, but is powerless to do anything about it. The overall effect is really unsettling, like having one of those nightmares where everything is spinning out of control.

But every time I cook now I find myself saying "you can also add ingredients".

Also, don't overlook his non-cooking videos. This is one of my favorites, especially the super casual "I think I'm gonna jack off now." ending.

 
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GRANDnumberofMULTIPLES said:
God, it's like he's a Sim when it comes to fire. Like, completely unaware that meat juice and a stove would equal flare-ups. Even his caveman-esque grunting is perfect.
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I love how his solution to the fire is to set the flaming pot on the ground, then turn off the TV, then throw the flaming pot outside.
 
Faceist Analchest said:
He likes to get his drink on.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=kVi7tREP2js
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I legitimately kept waiting for him to knock everything the fuck over.

If he's mixing this with sleeping pills it sounds like there's something he wants to drown out. I accidentally OD'd on a combo of benzos, booze, and sleeping pills a few years ago... twice... in the same week. Wild partygirl life plus severe untreated bipolar disorder caught up to me eventually.

It is a very easy threshold to cross and I'd love to know more about this guy. It is possible to be functional mixing booze and pills but there's definitely times where it gets questionable.

H0G9Jz1.gif


I would totally give an e-cookie to someone who tries any of his recipes, including the amazing sambuca/burnt coffee concoction. I've never seen someone try to burn so many ingredients before eating them. Not even that pyro kid in middle school.
 
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