💀 Horrorcow Masaokis - Cooking with Hoarders

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c-no said:
For those that want to see the fire:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=c_YXN8PiFNM
Click to expand...
.....Did he just put something he was going to eat on his nasty toilet seat, drop it on the floor, put it back on the seat, and try and cook it by lighting toilet paper on fire?
He also thinks the "egg whites" are the shells....
I need to know this guy's backstory. Where are his parents, why was he never taught the proper ways to handle fire and cooking/cleaning/life, and how the fuck is he a law clerk? The notary doesn't surprise me because it's just some classes and a licensing thing but to actually WORK with a law firm... What the fuck is my life right now?
 
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Oh man, this guy.
I didn't expect my first post to be on this guy.
Hi, Kiwi Farms!
Hell, I totally forgot his name because when I found him all my friends and I referred to him as "Strelok" because his kitchen is like Chernobyl.

Anyways, I'm surprised no one has linked this video (my personal favorite) in which a coconut and katana are involved.
 
Sharktopus said:
Oh man, this guy.
I didn't expect my first post to be on this guy.
Hi, Kiwi Farms!
Hell, I totally forgot his name because when I found him all my friends and I referred to him as "Strelok" because his kitchen is like Chernobyl.

Anyways, I'm surprised no one has linked this video (my personal favorite) in which a coconut and katana are involved.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=AR5ciXadgHA
Click to expand...

When a recipe starts with having to philosophise over the concept of "lifting things up" you know it's gonna be good.

Second impression: holy shit.
 
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c-no said:
For those that want to see the fire:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=c_YXN8PiFNM
Click to expand...

Oh God. My father's a firefighter so I always knew the procedure for dealing with a stove fire (that being cover the damn pan so the fire burns itself out, not...flailing around like an idiot, and continuing to film it), but this is just making me cringe. Then again, all of the videos are. It's the filth that grosses me out. How has his hoard-house not gone up in flames by now? I'm finding it hard to watch the videos all the way through just because I'm cringing so much. :twisted: I was confused about the egg shells in the omelette video, the ones he was washing out. Does...does he think the shells are egg whites? How would that even work? :'(
 
Another new one, with some unprecedented stuff. It's not as exciting as the classics, but good for old fans. Never have I been so excited to watch nearly 15 minutes of someone driving. And he actually ends up with something edible, with only a few serious food safety mistakes.


"I took a long poop and now there's smoke all over the place, so I think it's probably ready."

TheIncredibleLioness said:
Does...does he think the shells are egg whites? How would that even work? :'(
Click to expand...

Like many of his other videos, I think the idea would have been to put them in a pan on high heat and simply wait for them to "go liquid".
 
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" This is uh- (He loses grip on his iceberg of a chicken and it falls on the grimy stove) It's duh Uh- Marvid- chicken, uh, you get from CostCo (Drops chicken carelessly) Uh, this is actually uh, um it's very good chicken it's actually it's culture (?) so, uh, um Jewish people can eat it and not go to hell or something uh. "

Time: 29 Seconds Total
Uh Count: 7
Um Count: 2
Blunder Count (Basic Fuckup) : 5
Total: 14 Shit stains
This was about 2 sentences if he didn't speak in constant run ons

Now let's look at one of Chris' videos, "Guitar Hero and Rock Band Revolution Blab"

"Captain's Log Stargate, Augist Sisteenth 2009, I don't wanna go right here but I feel like smchusnednayed between Gitar hero and Rock band mmmm firstly epor nel bel, yak, Rock Band, 1 & 2, though yeah, the trap pads, you know de de you know yall are harmanous bluberleese nod noden it's fine to some as this in the game stores and toy stores or whatever. "'

Time Count: 29 seconds
Uh count: None
Um count: None
Speech Fuck Up Count: 7
Total: 7
That was about 2 sentences if he didn't speak in run on sentences. ( Though it's a lot harder this time around )

Chris' total: 7 Masaokis' total: 14

Conclusion: Masaokis has less ability to speak than Chris, the end is nigh.
 
Another personal favorite where we muse about the philosophy of power and pair up hotdogs with more things they aren't meant to be paired with.

Also, you get a pretty good look at how nasty his toilet is in this one.
:cryblood:
 
 
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