MatchLink.com Dating Profile

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Interests: ..., Volunteering

Whaaaaaaaa? Has Chris been a good samaritan this entire time and I've somehow missed it? I bet the reason he even grew out his hair in the first place is so he could donate it to a hospital. What a pal.
 
I can totally see someone who doesn't know who he is thinking this is a joke profile.
 
I am laughing so fucking hard right now. He wants himself a sugar momma, but what does he have to offer her?
 
Surtur said:
I am laughing so fucking hard right now. He wants himself a sugar momma, but what does he have to offer her?
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"bless me with your sweetness" Bwahahahaha...oh geez.

I bet he was pissed off he could only pick one eye color. Now his potential sweethearts won't know of his complete specialness.
 
Surtur said:
I am laughing so fucking hard right now. He wants himself a sugar momma, but what does he have to offer her?
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"Bless me with your sweetness and I'll do what I can for you"
 
He's promoted himself from an Associate's degree to a Bachelor's.
 
Walking to the counter to order Mcdonalds doesn't count as exercise.
Henry Bemis said:
He's promoted himself from an Associate's degree to a Bachelor's.
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Does he even know where his degree is?
 
EzioCanLeapofFaith said:
He says he excercises 5 or more times per week...
:lol:
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Hey, standing counts as excercise.
 
I think he might be counting his walking to Wal-Mart as "exercise".
 
Don't forget his finger exercises by playing vidya games.
 
So are his instructions to show up at McDonald's or Burger King and talk to him there only? Does he want the girls to not even message him on that site?
 
Hah, my favorite is definitely "Sports and exercise: I'll tell you later". As if the pictures don't tell the story more eloquently than he ever could.

Also, is this the first appearance of the "Wife From The Ground-Up"?

EDIT: Oh God, I just noticed he used the "Sonichu racer" picture, #4. That's a babe magnet right there.
EDIT2: and wait, I also noticed "walking ONCE around the Wal-Mart". That must be what he negotiated with the management: once around and out and he won't get the jerkops called on him.
 
Chris, you are reading these threads man. I don't know when the profile is made but dude implemented some of my changes without the actual effort. :lol:

"Chris is depressed. It's just he's being a baby about it instead of trying to make it better. Instead of going to the gym, seeing a speech therapist, getting his BA and working on his hygiene/acne. He takes the path of least resistance and just plays videogames. The content we get out of it is great but it's still not a productive means to achieve what he wants."

He now has a BA and exercise regularly according to the profile. He know has to put hygiene stuff/acne stuff and going to a voice therapist on his profile and he will get the poontang.
 
Re: New Dating Profile

bungholio said:
Ha. He really thinks his ultra distant Cherokee heritage makes him super special huh? Go back far enough and we're all African, Chris.
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As a registered Native who's actually involved with my community, this grates on me a little more. It's not being part something, Chris, it's being part OF something. If you had visited the National Museum of the American Indian while you were in D.C. you might've gotten a glance at that quote.

I also like how he says he exercises 5 times or more a week but lists NOTHING that indicates exercise elsewhere on his profile. It's all dining out or sitting around.
 
Kosher Dill said:
EDIT2: and wait, I also noticed "walking ONCE around the Wal-Mart". That must be what he negotiated with the management: once around and out and he won't get the jerkops called on him.
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Probably more like this is what he came up with in his own mind as a compromise after someone told him he couldn't walk aimlessly around the Wal-Mart over and over. Something about the wording left the possibility open, if one is mindlessly pedantic, to someone doing a single loop and it being acceptable. So he gets it into his head that this is the rule and he's demonstrating to his sweetheart-to-be that he knows what the rules are. He doesn't loiter at the Wal-Mart; he walks around it precisely the number of times which is socially acceptable as implied to him by the mall security JERKOP on Stardate February the whatever.
 
Fatty said:
AND getting my attention must be direct with a pleasant greeting and introduction... Please forgive me if I respond coldly or timidly at first
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Hmm yeah, the girl has to be warm and sweet when she talks to me, but it's okay for me to be rude and offer nothing to the conversation, dhere.

Male said:
Does he even know where his degree is?
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I'm not certain he even knows what his degree is.
 
"Here are my impossible requests. If they cannot be met, it's not my fault. You're just snobby and snootish"

Seriously, I think he likes to make impossible demands because he enjoys being a victim. He'd rather be a victim than have a girl. Probably the right attitude, since he's too fat and retarded to stand a chance in the singles market.
 
Tubular Monkey said:
"Here are my impossible requests. If they cannot be met, it's not my fault. You're just snobby and snootish"

Seriously, I think he likes to make impossible demands, because he enjoys being a victim. He'd rather be a victim than have a girl. Probably the right attitude, since he's too fat and retarded to stand a chance in the singles market.
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That implies he realizes his demands are impossible. To Chris, the universe OWES him a pretty girl for him to grind up and it's only due to the efforts of a grand conspiracy that he doesn't already have one. Also he has had STRESSFUL experiences with trolls online, so people should be nice to him and understand that he can't be nice back until they've proven themselves.

He sees himself as a victim because of his entitlement, not because he likes being a victim.
 
Tubular Monkey said:
"Here are my impossible requests. If they cannot be met, it's not my fault. You're just snobby and snootish"

Seriously, I think he likes to make impossible demands, because he enjoys being a victim. He'd rather be a victim than have a girl. Probably the right attitude, since he's too fat and retarded to stand a chance in the singles market.
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Really, Chris? Really?
 
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