Megaman Battle Network Sucks My Nuts - The most unfun fun game you've ever played

[Chin of Campbell]

I've been playing the Battle Network series on my phone in my free time. The core gameplay loop of building your deck, farming viruses for new cards, building a better deck, repeat is very fun.

But holy titty fucking niggershit is the story dogshit. Not like the actual written story (well it is, but it's for literal retarded babies so I can't judge it too harshly) but the scenarios and missions to advance the story and further your virus farming ventures.

The average Megaman Battle Network scenario goes like this:

1. Lan and his friends doing some gay shit
2. Terrorist attack on whatever gay shit they're doing this week
3. Everyone including police are useless and a child has to save the day with his gameboy
4. Run across the in-game world sixty-seven times looking for the one NPC you have to talk to to advance (every single map in these game are just huge isometric mazes floating over a gif background)
5. NPC tells you he needs something or you need to find someone on the other end of the game world
6. Go find him and that guy tells you to go back to the first guy OR guy runs away and you need to find him again
(REMINDER: There is no fast travel in these games outside of very specific points in the labyrinthine world.)
7. Go back to the first guy and he tells you to go back to the place where the story event started
8. Finally get to the dungeon and complete a bunch of busywork "puzzles" and/or literal guessing games.
9. Beat a boss that either stands completely still and lets you kill him or teleports rapidly around the screen and only stops to bombard you with constant attacks. There is no in-between.

I have played the first two games and have started 3 (which people consider the best) and this formula has held true. I don't think I've ever played a game that so blatantly, and more importantly CONSISTENTLY, wastes your time. I suppose it speaks to the strength of the core gameplay that I've continued playing this long.

Oh and the style change system is really cool but executed like total ass. Much like everything in these games, I guess.

 

[Billy_Sama]

I played 2 and was enjoyed it for an RPG but then they did a pokemon two game thing and I never bothered wit it.

 

[SugarSnot]

Check out One Step from Eden if you like the combat and deck building gameplay in Battle Network.

 

[Just A Butt]

you spelled megaman wrong in the title

 

[Megaroad 2012]

4. Run across the in-game world sixty-seven times looking for the one NPC you have to talk to to advance (every single map in these game are just huge isometric mazes floating over a gif background)

Fucking triggered me with this. Completely forgot this nightmare.

I got somewhere pretty far in Battle Network 2 but I couldn't find the one person to talk to and gave up afte awhile. Do remember the funny localization with all the swearing lol

If you want true bullshit, good luck playing the side scroller one on gamecube.

 

[Pissmaster]

I loved em, but in all seriousness, it’s a game only for kids. A very good game, but you really shouldn’t bother with them as an adult unless you’ve got hefty nostalgia for them. And even then, you’re probably best to just listen to the soundtrack on YouTube and enjoy that, and never actually play through them again, because you wouldn‘t mind a lot of the hassle as a kid that you’re frustrated by as an adult.

Also, don’t play 4. Read a Let’s Play of it. It’s hot garbage even by “it’s for kids” standards, with a terrible translation and the world’s most uninspired plot. Still has a nice soundtrack, though. 5 is bad too, but not even interesting. 6 isn’t bad and actually is palatable to play by modern standards, but that was the end of the series.

They'd be great games if they were given an update with some QoL improvements. Old JRPGs tend to be pretty rough around the edges and MMBN is no exception.

 

[Chin of Campbell]

you spelled megaman wrong in the title

Fuck

 

[NoonmanR]

I fucking love battle network, but you're right, there is way, wayy too much fucking around going on fetch quests, instead of interesting shit to do. Virus busting is so much fun though.

Theres also no reason to play 4, yeah. The game is unpolished as fuck, easily the worst of the series. The story is just a series of tournaments. Don't play Star Force either, you will NOT like the changes they made to the battles, most people don't.

 

[Dr. Geronimo]

I remember liking 3 but whenever I tried to replay them it felt like they wanted you to buy a strategy guide

 

[The Great Wilder]

Battle system itself is kino, but literally everything around it is poorely designed crap that is indeed: designed to waste your time and make the game feel longer. I heard it got better in BN5 and BN4 was the lowest point.

 

[Dr. Pasquale]

Tried to play it as a kid but just couldn't get into it, was too used to Mega Man Zero's gameplay and the tileset RPG shit just seemed too boring and time consuming

I'm too old for it's retarded Spy Kids level plots now, so I guess I'll have to live without playing all the bazillion Battle Network games.

 

[Amaranth]

Nigger needs to get into the competitive scene, shits crazy

people added rollback netcode to the 6th games, and host tournaments

 

[A shitty ass clover]

Nigger needs to get into the competitive scene, shits crazy

people added rollback netcode to the 6th games, and host tournaments

There IS a competitive scene on BN?

i loved the games and the story is kinda meh but holy fuck i had a lot of fun playing them. Next time i might do AlphaOmega on BN3

 

[Amaranth]

There IS a competitive scene on BN?

i loved the games and the story is kinda meh but holy fuck i had a lot of fun playing them. Next time i might do AlphaOmega on BN3

yea, it even has the blessings of capcom to continue hosting tournys

 

[Peru oso donas]

yea, it even has the blessings of capcom to continue hosting tournys

I remember hearing a story of a guy having a "card" in his deck that was going to be handed out as a reward and the organizers where like "wtf", don't know if it's real or not.
Also, my favorite aspect of these games is how some of the cards have secret input commands you can do to change how the attack works or outright make them stronger.

 

[Moral Decay]

I saw the thread title and was ready to call you a retard with shit taste, but I actually can't disagree with anything you posted. I think the only reason I have so much nostalgia for this series is that my brain actively tries to forget the painful time-wasting between fun stuff.

 

[Scarlett Johansson]

'I'll jack into your squirrel if that's what it takes' still scars me to this day

2 was interesting. Never played 1, 3, 4, etc.
But I'll be forever mad we did not get the entire anime

 

[Radical Cadre]

Fuck

For what it's worth, you still have it wrong.

"Rockman"

 

[M3xus]

Yeah, I can't disagree with the OP. I recently tried to play 6 and oh god, almost everything outside of virus busting is bullshit. I'm amazed young me had any tolerance for it.

 

[HIVidaBoheme]

You're right about your criticism of the series, I feel the games up to 3 were tolerable and the best this series had to offer.

4 starts like shit right off the bat, 5 tried to capitalize on nostalgiafags and using the GBA cartridge port the way Pokemon 4th gen did, and 6 is such a sad clusterfuck it's not even worth bringing up.

I personally find 3 the best out of them due to having the most fun chip combinations, fun bossfights without too many cancerous mechanics and the most use out of field altering chips.

And the theme for Virus Busting is a jam.