Mental Illness Thread

[SlowInTheMinds]

Related. I (thankfully) don't have schizophrenia, but recently I found a simulation of a schizophrenic psychotic episode on YouTube. Having the disease must be terrifying! You wouldn't know what's real and what isn't!

[youtube]LWYwckFrksg[/youtube]

OK that's kind of scary.
Also, I don't get why the voices stop as soon as she comes in...

 

[Zim]

I've got bipolar disorder. I've tried to commit suicide several times. The last time I tried I curled up in my bathtub with a .41 magnum in my mouth and the hammer pulled back. 4lbs of pressure on the trigger and I wouldn't be here. My finger was on the trigger and I just couldn't will my finger to move, which made me incredibly angry. Wound up going to the hospital where I met Anna McLerran. I've been stable since, found my Dudeness if you will.

Damn Dude! I'm glad you didn't do it. I know I don't know you that well but still it's good you got yourself right. Suicide is only an option if it's your last great act of defiance against the alien invaders. Even then it's sort of a rule that you take at least 3 of them down with you.

 

[TL 611]

Posting in this thread makes me feel... Weird. I mean a lot of you guys have been formally diagnosed, so me moaning about my problems seems off somehow. Not that I didn't try to get a fucking psych evaluation.

When I was a teenager I was convinced I was totally insane, whenever I went to any professionals they just shrugged me off, which was frustrating and I didn't understand why they wouldn't help. They kept referring me to this place called "share" which was utter bullshit. It was one of those "youth advice" places where anyone could drop in whenever and "talk" to people about their problems. The people who worked there were often people's mums who had spent 6 weeks on some shitty counselling NVQ so they could make a bit of money.

I went in there once asking if they could refer me to a proper doctor about getting an evaluation or something, anything, and their response was "fuck off it's our lunch time come back in a few hours."

I did come back in a few hours, and they told me "to contact my GP" - the one who had referred me there.

I went to my GP about 3-4 times before realising they were full of shit. One of the last times I went it was because of insomnia - I'm sure you guys know how difficult it is for me to sleep. The bastard referred me to share because "in teenagers the leading cause of insomnia is stress and you need someone to talk to."

I have very little faith in this place, I probably did have severe depression but noo because I was teenage they assumed it was just me being angsty.

The more time that passes, the more I start to doubt my self-diagnosis; it's a medical professionals job to pick up on all this shit and if they didn't, then it surely wasn't there.

I tried to kill myself a couple times, once through tablets (cocodamol, I took like 15, made me puke my guts up, made me a bit delirious for a bit, taught me a fucking lesson ), once through hanging. That hurt, a lot. We have a lot of nautical rope in our house and I decided it'd be a good idea to tie it to the curtain rail, that'd be sturdy enough for my weight!
It wasn't, and it was a very surreal moment. Bracing yourself for an eternity of nothing just to come crashing back into reality, really fucking hard like. The curtain rail snapped in two and I fell to the ground. It was the first time I had felt any subconscious will to live, I can't really remember those seconds when I was falling or hit the ground, I just remember being on the floor with rope burn on my neck and a sore arse . It means that some part of me must have loosened the rope, my innate desire to live took over. And I've messed around with nautical rope a lot, it is not easy to loosen a hangmans noose in such stiff and thick rope. Neither times I went to the hospital, my parents are very much "you don't need to see a doctor unless you're dying" sort of people. Not that they knew about any of this, the broken curtain rail is still up in my room

I think I've gotten over it now though, maybe. It might be just because I self medicate. I gave up trying to be formally diagnosed because it's obvious I'm never gonna find out off medical professionals; I have a theory to what causes it and something to fix it, that's all that matters.

My totally unfounded theory is that I have a problem with seratonin. Like it doesn't get distributed properly or something. Or I'm not producing enough. To be honest the "why" doesn't bother me, knowing how to de with it is the part I focus on.

MDMA makes you overproduce seratonin, which is why there's a euphoria. However people are supposed to crash, as my psychology teacher said it "you burn out all your seratonin and then feel really grumpy."

But it doesn't work like that I don't think. The first time I took MDMA I was being destructive, but I can hands down say it was the only thing that has ever helped. Some may get offended or whatever from my glorification of illegal drugs but I had felt this kinda numb weirdness for as long as I could remember, it left me after I took MDMA. Ocassionally it comes back, but only temporarily, I imagine that's just normal ups and downs and I don't mind that much. Well, if I go longer than 6 months without MDMA it starts to come back, but I dunno, maybe it's just cuz I'm naive, that doesn't seem like that bad a trade.

 

[Picklepower]

I have paranoid ocd, anger issues and depression. I hope your ok now Melchett.^ I used to have times where I wanted to die, but I never made an attempt or anything. I think I was more thinking, "Everything sucks, if I die tomorrow, I don't give a crap cuz I don't wanna be here." then actually wanting to end my life through suicide.

Certain smells, like my moms terrible cooking (she likes to overcook things) will set off my anxiety.

Its funny that you say that, My Oma's apartment in DC has this horrible smell that I really cannot describe, but because I have played in that apartment a lot in childhood, when ever I go back to visit, the bad smell brings back good memories. When you first walk in the door you get hit by the odd smell and it surrounds you, but then you get used to it. Its an apartment in the ghetto.

 

[teheviltwin]

I have mental illness in both sides of my family. Bipolar on my father's and schizophrenia on my mother's. My Dad was sectioned in his early 20's and spent time in an Asylum. I've had issues as long as I can remember but I was diagnosed at 21 with bipolar and due to moving and the weird way the NHS is structured I've seen several psychiatrists since. Four agreed bipolar with elements of schizophrenia.A trainee psychiatrist tried to tell me I had DID but that was bollocks. She was looking to find an "exciting case" whether it was accurate or not. Not sure what my last psychiatrist thought because I stopped communicating after a while for a variety of reasons. I've only had one decent one and he was very blunt and pulled no punches but also knew what the fuck he was talking about. Naichu's post reminded me that he was the one who told me to go and get a cat. Pets de-stress you, even more so if you grew up with them. You become used to them as a coping mechanism. Also, I will always get out of bed to take care of my cat no matter how much I neglect myself.

My worst experience in the mental health system has been my last shrink and psych-nurse. They were the most awful pair of idiots.

Convo with my professional psych-nurse:

Me: (describes the serious problems I was having controlling my rage)

Her: "Have you tried counting to ten?

Me: "Do you know what bipolar is?"

Her: "Erm... No."

Me: "Manic Depression?"

Her: "No."

Weirdest thing I've gone through would be ECT. It is so surreal afterwards and I lost even more big chunks of memory. On the upside it meant I got to watch some of OPL's videos for the first time... Twice.

I'm currently loitering in the limbo of the system. No psychiatrist assigned. Mostly because I absolutely refuse to have the same psychiatrist. Also, I am not considered high risk because I have only ever been suicidal once and at that time I was too weak to do anything about it. However, I do have a history of completely losing all perspective of reality and doing things that are dangerous (example: was found once on top of a multi-storey car park, nude from the waist down and muttering to myself at 3am... don't ask, I have absolutely no idea.) but that doesn't count.

Most annoying thing for me is that my current medication is generic and the active ingredient % varies wildly. Sometimes this can make me stumble and slur. I hate people assuming I'm drunk or on some illicit substance. I drink maybe twice a year and that's it. I'm currently fighting to have my meds switched back to the branded version that has much stricter standards and more importantly worked for me.

 

[Duke Nukem]

I was allegedly diagnosed with a mild form of high functioning autism at a young age. I've had some difficulties earlier in life, some related to HFA and some not, but I've learned to cope with most things.

Apart from that and just plain old thinking a little differently than most people, I don't really have any significant problems there.

 

[Niachu]

Naichu's post reminded me that he was the one who told me to go and get a cat. Pets de-stress you, even more so if you grew up with them. You become used to them as a coping mechanism. Also, I will always get out of bed to take care of my cat no matter how much I neglect myself.

I cannot stay upset when when my big poofy guy is purring and flailing his stubby little arms around to play, haha. <3

 

[Duke Nukem]

Naichu's post reminded me that he was the one who told me to go and get a cat. Pets de-stress you, even more so if you grew up with them. You become used to them as a coping mechanism. Also, I will always get out of bed to take care of my cat no matter how much I neglect myself.

I cannot stay upset when when my big poofy guy is purring and flailing his stubby little arms around to play, haha. <3

It's too bad I can't have pets in my apartment. Well, maybe a fishbowl but other than that? I dunno, man. It's kind of small and cramped as it is.

 

[teheviltwin]

Naichu's post reminded me that he was the one who told me to go and get a cat. Pets de-stress you, even more so if you grew up with them. You become used to them as a coping mechanism. Also, I will always get out of bed to take care of my cat no matter how much I neglect myself.

I cannot stay upset when when my big poofy guy is purring and flailing his stubby little arms around to play, haha. <3

Mental illness is no match for the adorable derpiness of kitties.

Mine is also bizarrely protective. She really doesn't like men coming near me. She's really small for a house cat and there is nothing more cute than her being all big and scary. Reminds me of this...

[youtube]aCA96Pyurb8[/youtube]

 

[SlowInTheMinds]

Weirdest thing I've gone through would be ECT. It is so surreal afterwards and I lost even more big chunks of memory. On the upside it meant I got to watch some of OPL's videos for the first time... Twice.

ECT? Is that still legal (and especially in a country like the UK)

 

[teheviltwin]

Weirdest thing I've gone through would be ECT. It is so surreal afterwards and I lost even more big chunks of memory. On the upside it meant I got to watch some of OPL's videos for the first time... Twice.

ECT? Is that still legal (and especially in a country like the UK)

Of course. Although I believe that the US uses a more intensive therapy with 3 sessions a week rather than 2.

EDIT: It can be extremely effective at breaking the chemical cycle of extreme depression in the brain. Didn't work so great for me because my prolonged period of depression had been caused by my ex partner manipulating my medication along with some other less than savoury things.

EDITED EDIT: It's generally only used for things it is effective at treating now. Rather than everything including your sexuality.

 

[Night Terror]

I'm mentally sound but my brother has something I can't remember the name of. It affects his learning, though.
I don't think I have anything wrong with me apart from severe apathy and a lack of motivation. I can't get motivated about anything anymore without a serious kick up the arse.

 

[Picklepower]

Oh and I got da Ass Burgers. I like how Chris thinks saying it like that is insulting, I think its funny.

 

[Mourning Dove]

Oh and I got da Ass Burgers. I like how Chris thinks saying it like that is insulting, I think its funny.

I have Asperger's syndrome too. Apparently the syndrome has its pros and cons. On the down side, I have trouble reading social cues, and looking people in the eyes when interacting with them is painful for me. This makes me shy, have social anxiety, and at worst reclusive. On the up side, Asperger's can make people super-focused on certain topics to the point where they become experts. For instance, while Chris became an "expert" on Sonichu and CWCville, my friends and family consider me their local expert in birds and rocks.

 

[Holdek]

i've dealt with mental illnesses. i've been in the hospital for it. but i have learned to never let them be an excuse for anything. they actually motivate me every day to not sit around feeling like crap all the time. it is possible to deal and cope.
but i recently came across this article:
http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/fo ... 0320.story
stuff like that makes me feel good that there are people out there bringing attention to mental illnesses. something i feel is not really talked about as much as it should be.

I agree. Society's stigma towards mental illness, such as attributing it to weak will or "craziness", only makes mental illness among sufferers worse. As I learned during my time in the mental hospital, openly and candidly talking about mental illness is one of the best methods for healing. Mental illness is simply an illness after all (chemical imbalances in the brain to be exact), just like diabetes, Celiac disease, or breast cancer. Yet strangely enough the attention, care, and sympathy towards it is still absent.

This is a society where many people (not just Chris) think that it's possible to "choose" not to be gay. Before that those with schizophrenia were sometimes said to be in communication with the Devil. (I'm not saying homosexuality is a mental illness.) Basically what I'm saying is that the mind is seen as somehow separate from the rest of biology, and thus subject to different interpretation and rules, and so consequentially popular understanding of mental health lags behind that of other types of medicine.

 

[random_pickle]

The worst thing I have is Aspergers, even then I'm not officially diagnosed.

When I was somewhere between 3 and 5, I was acting strange according to my mom. She took me to the doctor to see if there was something wrong with me. The doctor said I had a extremely mild case of Aspergers syndrome. However, the case was so mild that he didn't think it warrented being labled as Autistic along with all the cultural baggage that came with it.

Even so, I still needed speech therapy all throughout elementary school. Someone would take me out in the middle of class to talk to the speech therapist every day. Back then I didn't know I had Aspergers, so I thought this was something every kid went through.

Unfortunately, I still have social anxiety problems, depression, and paranoia. When I'm conversing with someone, I tend to panic when the conversation has gone on too long.

The worst thing that's happened to me over this happened in my highschool Psychology class. Each of us was to pick a mental illness and do a research powerpoint on it. I chose Autism because I wanted to learn more about what I had. I was talking to the girl beside me who chose to research hoarders, and she asked me why I chose Austism. I told her it was because I had it. She told me in a snarky tone that I was probably faking it and being over dramatic. I don't know why, but that made me feel terrible.

Reading through this thread though, wow, you guys are troopers.

 

[Metal Sink]

I used to think I have ADHD, but I've never been diagnosed with anything... so I'm not sure.

 

[cheersensei]

I don't believe it's been fully diagnosed, but anxiety is high on my list, was on Buspar for it for a while. Depression is another one I've fought. Getting off hormonal birth control has helped quite a bit for me, though I do have my occasional breakdowns.

Also got to see one of my friends when I went back to my family for a visit. Chris (unfortunately) shares the same name and condition of OPL: high functioning autism. He finally admitted it to me in a conversation. It explained quite a bit why he didn't respond to my advances and the general weirdness we experienced trying to go on a date. It was interesting hearing about his experiences.

 

[BOLDYSPICY!]

(not sure where this should go, but putting it in Off-Topic just to be safe)

I guess there are two parts to this thread:

In the short time I've been on the forum, several users have mentioned having Asperger's or something similar when explaining certain traits or behaviors of Chris. Out of curiosity, how many people here suffer from some sort of mental disorder?

I have bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, ADHD, & PTSD. After dropping out of school, losing my job, & getting kicked out of my mom's house, I wound up in a mental illness recovery program. One thing that has helped me develop better ways to cope & has kept me on the straight & narrow is knowledge of Chris. Is he paranoia fuel for anyone else?

 

[OtterParty]

I have a sister named Chlamydia